A/N: Yo minna! This is the first of a number of installments of crack pairings (I'm a canon and crack supporter!) I'm going to do! Although it's entitled Crack Love it may have some canon pairings as well! This is kind of an experiment, you could say.
Pleas review and give your opinions or crack/canon pairing suggestions!
Crack Love: Installment one
Haze of pink
Kira frowned, not looking up as he heard an annoying, whiney voice next to him
"Kira-chan! Kira-chan! Come play with me!"
"Sorry Kusijaki-fukutaichou, I'm busy right now." He said calmly, keeping his gaze down.
Yachiru pouted next to him. "Come on Kira-chan, play with me! We'll have looooooooots of fun!"
Kira's frown deepened, this was a VERY important assignment which Ichimaru-taichou had informed him, with a creepier than usual grin, was to be on his desk by tomorrow morning.
"Kusijaku-fukutaichou I'm busy" he emphasized the word, promptly growling and crumpling his current sheet of paper, tossing it into the bin.
"Aw come on" the annoying voice was right in his ear now "PLAAAAAAAY WITH ME!"
Kira's hand which had just grabbed another sheet of paper crunched it in effect.
"I'm sorry Kusijaku-kukutaichou but I'm busy!"
The voice was now at his side, the pink-haired owner tugging at his sleeve. Hard.
"Play.Play.Play.Play.Play.Play.Play.Play!" she repeated stubbornly in that whiney voice.
Great…now she's gone into repetition mode…don't loose your temper…don't loose your temper…imagine what that bastard Zaraki-taichou will do if you loose it with his little girl…
As if reading his mind, Yachiru stopped her repetition abruptly. "I'll tell Ken-chan you're a meanie and you didn't want to play!" she said with a cross little face.
Kira visibly sagged. This assignment would have to wait until later.
Brushing the paper and pens aside, he sighed. "Ok, but only for a little bit!"
Perking up, Yachiru grinned broadly and hopped neatly up onto his desk in front of him.
"What are we playing?" he asked, wearily, rubbing a hand against his forehead.
Yachiru mischievously held up a plastic western-styled prince crown, red cape and toy sword.
"I'm gonna be Cinderella!" she declared, nodding "and you're the prince, just like the story I made Ken-chan read me!"
She bundled the things into his hands while she held up a shining blue fancy, play- dress.
He sat before her, perplexed.
"What?" he asked.
"I can't change when you're watching!"
"Oh! Sorry, sorry!" he said quickly, turning around in his seat.
A giggle could be heard behind him. "Put on your things Kira-chan!"
Several minutes later he was on the floor next to his desk, awkwardly sporting a toy sword at his hips instead of his zanpakutoh, a short red cape tucked into the back collar of his Shinigami robes and a tiny sparkly crown on his head.
Yachiru stood before him dressed in her blue dress and some black high heels that were too big for her. "Kira-chan looks handsome in those clothes!" she said, smiling childishly.
Kira blushed slightly, out of embarrassment but more at the compliment.
"What do we-"
"Now we dance!" Yachiru interrupted, answering him.
Kira stretched down his arms and Yachiru, even in high heels, gripped only one index finger in each small hand. They began to dance a slightly awkward version of a waltz, Kira having to tip toe each step as not to trod on her toes.
Yachiru smiled up at him, sweetly, Kira thought.
Yachiru suddenly pouted. "Kira-chan, this isn't riiiight, lift me up, so I can hold your shoulders!"
Huffing, Kira bent down and picked her up, hoping Zaraki wasn't anywhere near, god knew what he would do if he found anyone beside himself pick up his little Yachiru.
"Kusijaku-fukutaichou!" Kira gasped as Yachiru locked her small arms around his neck, in the way a grown woman would do.
"Princess Cinderella!" she corrected him as he adjusted his hold on the small of her back, tingeing pink.
"Now the prince and Princess Cinderella have to kiss!" she announced in a tone that suggested it was the best part of all.
Kira's blush drained to a pale colour at that, he hadn't agreed to this.
"Kusija-I mean Princess Cinderella, do they have to kiss!" he asked disdainfully.
Yachiru nodded, head bobbing up and down enthusiastically. She scrunched up her eyes, puckering up her lips in a waiting stance.
Swallowing Kira leaned and placed a quick, barely there peck on her forehead.
Yachiru opened her eyes immediately.
"Nooo! That's not how they kiss!" she said in a whiney tone, as though he was ruining everything "This is how they kiss!"
Before Kira could react she placed 2 small hands on the sides of his face she jerked his head forward, sending his small crown crashing to the floor, and placed her little lips on his.
Kira gasped, eyes widened, gazing at the little girl with her eyes closed.
He felt a tiny tongue sliding past his lips, tickling his tongue tip.
Then before he realized it she had pulled away from him and jumped out of his arms onto the ground.
"Okay! Thanks Kira-chan! I wanna go find Ken-chan now!" Yachiru cried loudly.
Then all too quickly she clattered out the office in her lagging high heels, totally forgetting about the rest of her dress up things.
Kira's cheeks were tinged scarlet, long fingers placed lightly over his lips, a faraway look in his eyes.
Without registering it he abruptly moved from his stationary position and sat back at his desk. He wasn't sure when it had exactly happened but the forgotten cloak; sword and crown lay in a neatly folded pile next to his desk.
I…got my first kiss from Kusijaku-fukutaichou… …from Yachiru…?
He pulled out paper and got on with his assignment in silence.
A/N: Well, here's the first installment! Sorry, I'm not perverted and I didn't mean to make Kira a pedophile or anything. I think Kira/Yachiru could be quite sweet in the anime, perhaps if Yachiru was a little bit older…
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please review and tell me what you think!
Please feel free to request a crack pairing for me to do, it can be anything, heck it can even be Isshin/Aizen! Feel the crack love!