A.N: Yet another one-shot...this time a funny one. I liked writing this, made me laugh quitea lot. Hope you enjoy it! Oh, and I worked out how many days (roughly) they were at school for...and I figured that Lily finally, (in this story anyway)said yes to James on November 17th 1977, just incase you lot wanted to know.
The date was October 30th, 1979 and Sirius Black was sitting alone in the Three Broomsticks scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment. At around 7:30 that evening, he had remembered that tomorrow, All Hallows Eve, he would be attending perhaps the biggest event in his best friend's life; his wedding.
Unfortunately for Sirius, he had forgotten one thing, the fact that he was the best man, and as the best man he was required to make a speech.
Which he hadn't gotten round to writing yet.
After twelve fruitless attempts and four bottles of Butterbeer, Sirius finally concentrated on the task at hand, and began to write:
Greetings Ladies and Gents!
Now, for all of you who are still in a state of utter disbelief, no the names on your invitations weren't wrong or spelt incorrectly,-the unfortunate replacement to the groom's last name aside- and yes, you have arrived at the right wedding.
And to those of you betting on this speech, (Look over to Moony, who should be stuffing wads of money into his pocket) I recommend 37 minutes and 23 seconds.
Now, we all know why we're here, except for those of us who are already under the influence of alcohol, Gideon and Fabian, this means you. (Avoid death glares from said pair.)
Having known the bride and groom for a considerable number of years I've got to admit, I, like so many others, didn't think they'd end up married. In fact, I thought that, if we ever reached this stage in life, I'd be attending James' funeral. (Pause for laughter that is sure to come from the audience.)
But, alas, that was not to be, and after a long – and sometimes painful- series of events, we have arrived at this happy occasion.
Those of you who knew Lily and James at school may remember many a shout, prank, scream, argument and even an occasional trip to the Hospital Wing that their encounters caused, and you will also remember how Lily hated James with a passion,- contrary to the rest of the female population of Hogwarts who seemed to find us rather attractive. (Here wink at the bridesmaids and various female members of the audience. Note: Avoid that strange second cousin of James' who followed you around at the rehearsal.)
So how in the name of Merlin, I hear you cry, did these two end up married?
What with Lily being the studious, neat, hard-working, responsible girl that she was and our Prongs being the arrogant, rule-breaking, disrespectful, irresponsible boy that he was. (Smirk at Prongs who will be glaring daggers at you by now.)
Well I'll tell you how: (Clear throat in business-like manner.)
After 2669 school days over seven years, 123 arguments, 500 pranks, 57 public humiliations and a grand total of 7365 date refusals - we kept a running score of the amount just to make him even more depressed- Lily Evans finally agreed to go out with James Potter, and Hell had officially frozen over.
Of course, their relationship wasn't without its little bumps, what with the terrible incident involving a couple of can-can dancers, the time when James had to quickly get Lily a present for her birthday because he'd forgotten- Oh, you didn't tell her about that, mate?- and I won't even mention the stag night for fear of being decapitated.
Eventually, the inevitable happened, and, on June 30th 1978, in front of the entire school as we got off the Hogwarts Express for a final time, James proposed to Lily, and Moony, Wormtail and I proceeded to bet on what her reaction would be. She said yes, obviously, and I was forced to give up Firewhiskey for a total of 16 months, which I can proudly say I kept…, up 'till today of course. (Here hold up bottle of Firewhiskey to prove a point.)
The following months were full of chaos, and several times we thought the wedding would never take place, what with deciding on whom to invite and who to "conveniently" miss off the list, the all important seating arrangements, catering- By the way Mrs. P, great wedding cake-(send wink in Prongs' mother's direction.)- and all kinds of clothing decisions. You might notice that I missed off the job of choosing the best man, but as you can imagine, that was the easiest job of all, even though I made James beg for a while before I graciously accepted the hard and painful occupation.
But this speech isn't supposed to be about me or my dashing good looks, (Run hand through hair and send a winning smile into the audience, pause to appreciate the sound of all the girls sighing.)
It's about the young couple sitting across from me, that are just about to start their lives together, and as much as Lily herself will hate to admit this, they make a bloody good couple. I for one know that they'll see this marriage thing through, 'cause if they can survive seven years without killing each other, they can survive anything.
So, without further ado, can everyone please raise their goblets to Lily and James Potter!
(Sneak some Firewhiskey into goblet before raising it and then bow graciously to the rapturous applause that will come from the audience.)
Putting down his quill, Sirius grinned to himself, "Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day…"
A.N: I really dunno where I get my inspiration from, but it seems to come to me at very odd times of the day...please Review!