Disclaimer- I do not own Diadem, Rhapsody, or Wheel of Time. I do however own my friend Dre-Dawg's right thumb.
Bob- You so cannot come running to me if this fic. Sucks 'cause I told her not to write it!
Me- Oh shut-up you muse!
Bob- make me!
Me- Looks at Bob
Me- sniff I think this fic. Is pretty much self explanatory so I'll just let you get to
reading it, Reviews would be appreciated.
The Perfect Character
(A Mary-Sue Story)
It was a horrible sight, the day had started out wonderful but of course Score screwed up again. It had started out a beautiful sunny morning on Dondar and Score, our sarcastic happy hero, was bored. There was no life threatening disaster happening in the diadem so life was pretty boring. Score, as I have already stated was very, very, very bored, so he decided to go to another world by himself, just for kicks. And so here is where we get to the horrible sight thing, you see Score had managed to land himself in the Rhapsody trilogy section, yeah you see the horribleness. Rhapsody herself (guess who she is, yup that's right, the main character in the Rhapsody trilogy) had bumped into a Mary-Sue that Achmed was hunting and the evil creature's Mary-Sueism had rubbed off on her, contaminating the Rhapsody trilogy section forever! The Mary-Sueism had of course made Rhapsody faster, stronger, more gentle, more beautiful (if that's possible by the book description), and a more skilled fighter/assassin/swords man/general/soldier/wife/etc. causing Achmed, her beloved friend, to be forced to try and kill her. He of course failed, it takes great strength to kill such a powerful Mary-Sue, and so he, in turn, was killed. Now Mary-Sue was running as fast as she could, about 10x the speed of light to be exact, when she bumped into Score, who was of course fascinated to see such a beautiful, fast, talented woman trip gracefully over him. Now Mary-Sue/Rhapsody being perfect decided that the only way for her to contaminate another section of the all-powerful fan fiction web page, was to get this sarcastic creature to take her back to his world, where she would be able to once again wreak perfectionism and therefore destroy the section! (MWAHAHAHAHA) Anyway so Mary-Sue convinced the still bewildered and love-struck Score to take her back to his world. "Okay" he said in a dreamy voice. Mary-Sue batted her amazingly long eyelashes at him and said "Thank you so much! I don't know what I would have done without you!" she then giggled and linked arms with him. Score swallowed nervously and remained staring at… wait a second! What did she say her name was? Score cleared his throat "Umm what did you say your name was?" he asked. "Oh. My name's Emily." She answered with a smile-that-could-light-up-a-room. Score swallowed nervously and created the portal to take himself and Emily back to Dondar. What our young hero didn't know was that somewhere in another dimension a fan fiction author was laughing maniacally as she watched him take the evil creature, known as a Mary-Sue, to another world where she could wreak her own form of havoc!
Meanwhile back on Dondar Helaine was furious, and while this was not an unusual state for her to be in, she still found it annoying. When Score had brought back this pretty girl from…well where-ever she was from, Helaine had been jealous; however when fifteen minutes after Score had brought this Emily person back to Dondar he had professed his undying love for her and purposed, Helaine had gotten a bit pissed off. Now Helaine was seething while practicing her swordsmanship.
Jenna also was a bit irate over the arrival of the newcomer; you see Score wasn't the only one who had immediately fallen in love with Emily, but Pixel also had gotten down on one knee and told her of his love for her. Jenna had of course beotch-slapped the wench when she heard this; unfortunately she had then proceeded to get her ass handed to her by a girl who could probably be bench-pressed by a three-year-old. As you can assume this did not leave her in the best of moods, so she went to seek out Helaine, who was no longer practicing and was instead staring at the sky. When Jenna got to her she also looked up at the sky and gasped in horror, there floating near the clouds was the author's script! Jenna carefully read over what it said she gasped again at what she read, "So Emily is a Mary-Sue? Go figure huh?" she asked. Helaine shook her head in dismay "It appears this creature has come to contaminate our world. Come, if this creature of darkness is really this indestructible we should practice by killing other Mary-Sues so one day we may be able to destroy it!" Helaine and Jenna then walked through a portal to another section of the fan fiction archive to destroy all Mary-Sues there that dared to cross their paths.
Two Months Later
"Sorry!" Jenna screamed as the portal closed behind her. Helaine shook her head in disbelief, "Dang who would have thought that, that Avienda person in the Wheel of Time section was actually a character and not a Mary-Sue?" Jenna shrugged her shoulders "Looked and sounded like one to me." She answered, she continued with "Do you think we've killed enough actual Mary-Sues to be able to destroy Emily yet?" "I don't know, the script said she was very powerful." Helaine said, after seeing Jenna's disappointed look she added "We could try though." But when they got to the castle on Dondar it was to late, the Mary-Sue had already contaminated their world and had left to the Wheel of Time section so she could marry both Score and Pixel through the Aiel way. "Crap" Helaine and Jenna said in unison. So back to Wheel of Time section they went. It was a long and perilous battle when they finally found the Mary-Sue called Emily, but finally after hours of hair pulling, clawing, and a few actual punches, they defeated it and Emily/May-Sue/Rhapsody was returned, as a normal person, to the Rhapsody Trilogy section, where Achmed had already been brought back to life. Another battle won the Triad Reborn and Jenna returned to Dondar.
Three Days Later
"Helaine" Score called while running down the hall, "I never thanked you for saving me from, the Mary-Sue." He said. "Umm, no, you didn't." Helaine answered. "Well thank you. I owe you a lot, you know how I fear commitment and I was going to marry her!" Score shuddered after saying this. "Yeah believe me I know, and your welcome." She said with a smile and a giggle. "Oh No, Jenna, Pixel come quick! Helaine's been affected with Mary-Sueism!"
Hey don't look at me like that! Every other category had one! And this is where I leave you to wonder what's going to happen next. Don't hate me!
Bob- Wow I'm glad that's finally over.
Me- Hey I liked that fic. Thank you very much!
Me- shakes fist at Bob