A/N: Okay just to clarify. I wrote this while burnt out on my other story Ten Days Away. It's sort it's stupid. Its just for a laugh and if you review and give me guff I'll kill you. No not really. But seriously if humour, sad humour isn't what your looking for you won't like it. hell you may still not. Oh and I don't own any rights.
Amoeba's at the start
Were not complex
They tore themselves apart
And started sex.
Arthur Gutterman, Sex
Chase stepped into the clinic and all conversation stopped. Well all conversation stopped amongst the chattering nurses. Instead they all whispered quietly and giggled and stared. Chase signed in quickly and bolted to the elevator. Checking himself over once inside. Nope, nothing out of place, nothing undone… So what the hell!
The lift stopped and Chase stepped out carefully, the corridor largely deserted. It all seemed normal enough. So downstairs?- An over-reaction, were they really all doing that because of him. Probably not.
Chase brushed it off. Then he bumped into Sandra a second year intern.
"Hey." He said almost in passing, as the other came out from checking a patient. She looked up in surprise and smirked. Chase stopped dead as she quickly hid it.
"San?" He questioned uncomfortably, skin pricking.
"Oh, hi Chase." She bit out, sucking her bottom lip. Barely holding back a smile, then not holding it back at all.
"Is something wrong?" Chase questioned.
"What could be wrong." She smirked and looked so close to actually laughing.
"Hey Chase man nice shots." Two male nurses laughed, barging past them in the hall.
Chase frowned after them.
"What?" He breathed.
"Not a clue! Gotta go." Sandra smiled brightly and then hurried off down the corridor.
Chase shook his head, ambling to the break room slowly. For the life of him, he couldn't work it out. Then Foreman choked, actually choked on coffee as Chase entered the room. Cameron looked up at him and then looked away quickly, blush brightly colouring her cheeks.
"Kay, what the hell is up with everyone?" Chase demanded as Cameron determinedly looked anywhere but at him.
Foreman bit his lip and smirked.
"He hasn't been to the bathroom yet!" Foreman snorted.
"What?" He questioned, wondering what the hell that had to do with anything.
"Chase…" Cameron breathed.
"What?" If there was a joke he didn't get it. Cameron made rough gestures with her head and shoulders. Chase didn't get it.
"The frikin' bulletin broad Chase, god." Foreman snapped after it started to grate on him.
Chase looked over at it. The same brightly coloured pieces of junk as always. He couldn't actually read any of it from the distance but it had been there long enough for him just to know it by sight. A bright blue one announcing lectures in August, it was now October. Another red and green one giving the various birth details of some doctor's new son, by now the kid would be pushing two… It was a well-known fact that things rarely got put up and nothing ever got taken down. Which is why Chase really should have spotted the crisp white sheets of paper lining the bottom a lot sooner. He stepped closer curiosity piqued…and when he got close enough to see his stomach rolled. Churned reflexively. This just wasn't right. Chase forced himself to breathe, then quickly snatched the offending papers from the board. Okay, it was okay…
"Who put these up…" Chase screeched turning back to Foreman and Cameron.
"Wait I know… Where the hell has he slunked off too…" He spat.
"Chase…" Cameron bit her lip and Chase was pretty sure it was to keep from laughing.
"Those… weren't just up in here." She said carefully…
Actually they were up on every bulletin board, in every breakroom and even taped up in the bathrooms and showers. A few had even made their way into patient rooms. By the time Chase was finished in was close to eleven and he must have at least two hundred of the offending pictures stacked up in his hands.
House was a dead man, he was just going to…
"Why are you doing this…" Chase demanded as he stormed into House's office.
"Chase I was starting to…" House looked like the cat who ate the canary, he stopped abruptly as dozens of sheets of paper came flying at him, flailing in front of his face.
"Now was that really necessary?" House smirked.
"Hell it isn't smart arse, what gives you the right!" Chase cried.
"Little bent out of shape are we?" House grinned.
"No shit!" Chase scowled.
"House I have to work with these people!" Chase whined.
"I hope your not expecting an apology princess." House dug further.
"Oh fuck you House!" Chase snapped.
"Hey I'm not the one who made you modal for Victoria's Secret." House laughed.
"No you just posted the pictures!" Chase cried.
"Speaking of which I didn't even know Victoria's Secret had male modal's." House mused, almost completely ignoring the distraught little duckling.
"It was a while ago, a one time showcase thing that… and I wasn't a modal I was filling in for a friend… Which doesn't change that you're an arse." Chase bit.
"I really hit a nerve didn't I…" House mock simpered. Chase glared.
"I thought they really were all quite flattering myself." Chase still just scowled.
"Oh, all right…" House sighed dramatically, thinking how Cuddy will probably already have a whole lecture planned out for him without Chase whining at her and pissing her off.
"I won't pin them up anymore. Happy?" House cut.
"Far from it." Chase bit.
"Some people are only happy when they're miserable." House lathered and Chase shook his head thinking about all the flack he was going to cop. But that was House, Bastard of the year… Chase turned jerkily in the door and started to pull it back closed.
"Hey Chase…" He stopped, more out of habit than wanting too.
"For what its worth… I think you just… look hot in sugar…" Chase rolled his eyes and sighed, pulling the door shut a little harder than technically necessary.
House smirked after the disgruntled little duckling, looking at the poster that was taped to the back of his door. The one that ran the entire length of dark wood and showed Chase strutting down a glittery catwalk, strings of colourfully strung candy hanging about his waist, chocolate paint inked across his chest and spun sugar misting down his arms…
Hmmm, definitely one shot he wasn't willing to share…