Ello poppits! Yeah, yeah it's been along time again but I've been sick for the past four months so get over it. Anemia sucks. So does the medication for it. Bleh. But I just got back from Disneyland! Woot. Ok I'm going to stop rambling on about myself and start the fan fiction. Even though I should be practicing my flute for the chair test. Whatever.
As Ed began his intense exercise plan by Richard Simmons, the rest of the extremely large group, that can somehow fit in one room, began playing again.
"Oh my gawd gal pals I have the most totally awesome idea!" Hughes said in his now girly voice, while jumping into the air and freezing there for a few seconds with sparkles (borrowed from Armstrong) surrounding him.
"Oooo! I wanna try!" Envy said, trying to jump up and freeze in the air but instead he fell off a random cliff that somehow materialized under into the Never-Ending Pit of Doom, and as he fell he yelled, "Nooooooo! Brad Pitt I love yoooouuuuu!"
"That was cool. Ok Hughes, what's your idea?" Havoc asked.
"Ok well, if we go like outside, then nobody can like burst through the door or whatever," Hughes suggested.
"That ideas so smart it might just not work! Wait a minute… erm… nevermind. Lets just do what he said," Roy said.
So they all went outside and sat in a circle like one of those hippie drum circle things (no offense to hippies) and started to play again.
"Ok, well, it's Ed's turn, so…" Russell said, and everyone looked over at Ed as he was doing jumping jacks in a purple tracksuit with short shorts while being directed by Richard Simmons.
"That's almost as scary as Brittany Spears' new hairstyle," Roy said.
"Well, that comment was lame in a cool way. Anyway, hey Ed!" Russell called out.
Ed looked towards the others and called out, "Yeah?"
"It's your turn!"
"Ok… I dare… Armstrong… to find Brad Pitt… and have him rescue… Envy from… the Never-Ending Pit of Doom." Ed said between pants.
"I accept your challenge!" Armstrong said, and ran away to go find Brad Pitt. He returned in about a minute holding Brad Pitt under his arm like a football.
"Wow Armstrong that was fast," Havoc commented.
"I'm scared," Brad muttered.
"Now go save Envy!" Armstrong yelled, throwing Brad into the Never-Ending Pit of Doom. At first the just heard Brad's screams mixed with Envy's, then Brad came flying out of the Never-Ending Pit of Doom carrying Envy bridal-style in his arms.
"Oh my God, it's Brad Pitt!" Envy squealed. Brad threw Envy on the ground as Roy ran up to him with sparkles in his eyes.
"Who are you?" Roy said, mystified.
"Roy, it's Brad Pitt, we already went over this," Riza stated.
"I'm just your friendly neighborhood Brad Pitt!" Brad said heroically as he flew away.
"Wow!" Everyone exclaimed.
"Hey guys!" Ed said, jumping out from nowhere, completely thin again.
"Wow Ed, you got thin fast!" Winry said.
"Hai, tomodachi! Kyou wa totemo totemo atsui!" Ed said ("Yes, friend. It is very very hot today!" Give me a break guys, I'm only in Japanese 1). "Sorry, I had a Canadian moment."
"But you spoke Japanese," Winry pointed out.
"I give up on life," Winry said dramatically.
"Woah, emo much, HOT PANTS ARE MY BEST FRIEND!?" Wrath asked and yelled.
"Hey everybody, no one burst through the door this time!" Havoc said excitedly.
"Oh yeah!" Everyone said. But before the celebrations with a piñata could begin, a small creeking sound came from the house. Everyone looked over and saw Lust slowly opening the door.
"Hey there you guys are!" Lust said.
"DAMN IT!!!" Everyone yelled.
"Well, she didn't actually knock down the door," Russell said.
"Oh yeah, sorry," Lust said. She grabbed the door and pulled it off its hinges.
Everyone groaned, and then Fury said, "Yo dawg, Lust, just get in the circle."
"How did you get in my house, anyway?" Winry asked.
"Through the window," Lust explained.
"Ok, but why?"
"I really, really don't know," Lust said, shaking her head.
"Armstrong, it's your turn," Winry said after looking at Lust weirdly for a moment.
"Beck Jones, it's your turn!" Al said in a really creepy voice in that scary chibi (oxymoron?) way he can say things in. Everyone looked at him with frightened faces, and then he looked downward and said, "sorry."
"Thank you for that spendid... thing, Alphonse. I believe that I will dare Lust to roast marshmallows for all of us on her long sharp fingers!" Armstrong said in the cool way he says things (omg I'm tired).
"I feel so violated," Lust said as she stuck marshmallows on her fingers and everyone else made a fire.
In the process of putting marshmallows on her fingers, Lust accidentally speared one of Armstrongs blue sparkles.
"NOO! MY BABY!" Armstrong cried, yanking the blue sparkle off of Lust's finger and cradling it in his arms. He pulled out bandages from nowhere and put one on both sides of the sparkle's hole. Now one of Armstrong's sparkles and a bandage on it as it floated around him.
The fire soon began to burn and the marshmallows where on Lust's fingers. As she extended them over the fire, everyone clapped.
"Didn't it cross anyone's mind that this would be extremely painful for me?" Lust asked everyone.
"Well we figured if you could stretch them that far then they can feel no pain," Havoc said.
"Well that is a perfectly logical assumption my good man," she replied intelligently with a British accent and one of those circle eyepiece things with a chain on it and a tweed over coat and a pipe and… sorry.
So they all ate their marshmallows in peace, except for Wrath because he was allergic to them so he started writhing on the floor and swelling up and couldn't breathe but no one cared so he died. Just kidding! But he still might. I'm not saying he won't. Muwahaha!
Oh wow. I'm sorry. This is the most random, stupid thing I have ever seen. It was like a train wreck. It just got worse and worse but I wouldn't stop. But I guess that's what happens when I eat snickers, sixlets, and have three large mug-fulls of purple Snow White hot chocolate. So right about now I don't care if the chapter sucks, I just want to run around crazily then pass out in a random place.
If you don't review, Wrath WILL die, and it will be your fault and you will have to live with the shame of taking another persons life, and when your 30 and you can't bare the guilt any longer you will jump off the roof of your eight story apartment and your family will be very sad. If you have a family by then. Hopefully you will. Review.