Happy Belated Birthday Cherry Jade!

I know this is late and I am so sorry, but I'm not too good with due dates and dead lines and the like. I'm such a loser. I wanted to get this out while it was still February so it will be a two-shot. I'll post the second part as soon as I get it done.

I wanted to experiment with a different point of view, I don't think I did too badly. The second chapter will most likely be from Robin's point of view. Isn't CJ lucky? Not only does she get a two-shot, she gets a fic dedicated to her that's a first for me. J/K.

Once again, Happy Birthday Darling! And I wish you many, many more! I hope you like it!

Dirty Fun

By: Amber Myst

For: Cherry Jade

It was that day.

The day that I had to actually be nice to that humor crippled changeling. This meant no glaring, no put downs, no quirky rejoinders, actually tolerating his horrible jokes. Maybe even smiling at them.


There were some things that even God couldn't do. Or make me do.

That was perhaps one of them. I sure as hell couldn't even fathom it. Maybe a grimace? I felt myself nod absentmindedly. Yes, that I could do. A thought of Beast Boy asking me why the aardvark crossed the road flitted across my mind and I shuddered. Maybe.


Or not.

A sigh slipped from me as I wondered if the rest of the titans would notice if I just didn't show up. I would have no problem just burrowing under my nice, warm blankets in my big comfortable bed and sleeping for the rest of the day.

I barely managed to stifle a yawn. Actually, that idea was becoming more and more appealing. My legarthic limbs were barely listening to me anyway as I tried to pay at least a smote of attention to the other three titans that were trying to discuss the mechanisms of plan 'surprise the shit out of green turd'. Apparently, Beast Boy and Cyborg had managed to have an argument, as unsurprising as that was, the night before and the metal man was still harboring some ill feelings towards the green shape-shifter.

I blinked slowly as my weary brain tried unsuccessfully to process what Cyborg was saying about rope, scissors and a tutu? "Can't we just take him to the petting zoo? I'm sure he'd have a blast playing with the other animals."

Starfire giggled and the other two titans simply looked at me, Robin shaking his head. "Raven, do you remember the conversation that we just had?"

"Oh. Right. I'm suppose to only say nice things to him and about him. Darn. This is going to be harder than I originally thought." I drawled dryly.

I could go one day without making fun of him right?

Cyborg snorted and made an offhand comment about Beast Boy and my lips twitched as I tried to keep my own derogatory comment from slipping from between them.

This was seriously going to be like pulling teeth.

I crossed my arms almost sulkily as I glared at Robin reproachfully. "I'm not trying to be childish or anything remotely similar to that, but why can Cyborg make comments and not me?" I tried to answer in my monotone and keep the whine out of my voice. I think I might have succeeded.

"Because we all know that Cyborg doesn't mean them." After a pause Robin added, "Most of the time."

I shrugged, letting my arms fall to my sides. Okay, he got me there.

"Alright," the team leader continued. "Starfire and Cyborg, you both have the job of distracting Beast Boy while Raven and I set up for the party."

Starfire simply nodded. Cyborg, on the other hand, had a few questions. "What if grass stain, Beast Boy," he corrected himself after a sharp look from Robin, "gets suspicious?"

The Boy Wonder simply raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a brain or not? Figure it out, I have faith in you."

I snorted. Well, that made one of us.

After we parted ways, I followed Robin into the living room a bit reluctantly.

"Why am I here again?" I wondered out loud. Especially since my bed was calling my name. Really, really loudly.

"Because," Robin began smoothly as he began to gather crepe paper, tape and a bag of balloons. "I knew you wouldn't be able to spend any part of the day with Beast Boy without breaking the promise you made earlier. Not to mention that Beast Boy isn't as inane as you believe him to be. He'd be suspicious as to why you're spending the day with him. And lastly, this will be a lot easier to do with your telekinesis. Oh, and I don't trust Starfire with decorations of any kind and Cyborg is the most likely candidate to keep Beast Boy occupied the longest and not to mention, if I let him anyway near the cake we'd have some kind of meat lover concoction and BB wouldn't like that." He paused. "Yup, that's everything."

I was surprised and I'm sure it showed in my face. Wow, he had really thought about this, hadn't he?

After a moment of silence I replied with, "That wasn't what I was really asking but sure, that works too."

Mentally I added, You really need a life.

"Okay," he handed me green, black and purple crepe paper. "Twist it and tape the ends around the room where the wall meets the ceiling and the other ends should meet in the middle of the room."

I took the paper wordlessly as he began to fill the balloons with the helium tank he got from Cyborg for the occasion.

Just for the record, twisting crepe paper and hanging it from the ceiling is one of the most monotonous jobs I've ever had the displeasure of doing. And unfortunately, it wasn't as mindless as I originally thought. I had to be careful, otherwise the fragile lengths would tear and I would have to do it again. And let me tell you, ripping tape and holding up crepe paper while floating several feet off the floor isn't the easiest thing in the world, even with telekinesis.

forty-five meticulously, torturous minutes later, I had completed the whole living room. Passing a scrutinizing eye over the colorful paper that draped almost elegantly across the entire ceiling, I nodded. Didn't look too bad.

Landing noiselessly behind Robin, my eyes grew slightly wide at the amount of balloons he had managed to blow up and tie to something. There had to be at least two hundred of them. "Is he turning seven or seventeen?" I asked him incredulously. Really. And he was still working on filling more of the elastic units.

Robin jumped slightly, the green balloon that he was filling shooting from his fingers.

Looking around at the amount of balloons he had managed to fill he smiled almost sheepishly. "I guess I got a little carried away."

A little?

"Are you done already?" He asked almost absently as he snatched the flying balloon out of the air.

I heaved a sigh before replying sardonically, "No, I'm not. I'm just a social little bumblebee and wanted to talk."

He lifted an eyebrow, a smile twitching at his lips. "Okay, Raven. I take it you're done."

"How intuitive."

Studying the room meticulously, he nodded affirmatively. "Looks good."

I rolled my eyes. "And you expected otherwise?"

"From you? Never."

Okay, that comment left me a wee bit uncomfortable so I didn't respond. "Maybe you should let the balloons float near the ceiling?" I suggested in an attempt to change the subject. Besides, maybe the room wouldn't look so juvenile then.

Robin shrugged, pulling out a birdarang and slicing through the strings.

Released from their confinements, the balloons floated upwards, bypassing the crepe paper until they met the ceiling, bouncing several times until they came to rest. Using a bit of magic, I rearranged the green, black and purple balloons so they weren't concentrated in a singular area.

Even I had to admit that the overall effect was very nice.

The Boy Wonder murmured his approval before turning around and exiting the room. "Cake time."

I groaned as I caught up to him. Me and kitchens didn't get along. We had this mutual understanding, something I tried hard not to violate. It allowed me to make my tea in peace and I didn't desecrate it with efforts to make anything edible for consumption. Which was just fine with me because I was cursed to burn any type of food I touched.

Except water. Which was impossible to burn. A fact of the universe that I was grateful existed. Yay chemistry.

"Can't I just go fill more balloons?" I asked, my voice tinged slightly with disinclination.

Robin shot me a look that I couldn't decipher. "I thought you said they looked childish?"

"Did I?"

He sighed, his voice containing a curious lilt to it. "Why such an aversion to the kitchen?"

I contemplated telling him my deep, dark secret and figured why not? It wouldn't come back to haunt me...hopefully.

"Cooking of any kind really...isn't my thing." Wow, was that an understatement.

Robin looked slightly surprised. "Really?"

"Did I stutter?" Because I refuse to ever repeat that again.

"You know, I could teach you a thing or two if you want?"

"Err...it's specifically against my contract."

He raised an eyebrow but didn't ask me about it. Good. I didn't even know why I said that out loud.

"Come on, it'll be fun." He smiled at me, poking me playfully in the side with his elbow. Silly naive, little fool.

I lifted my own eyebrow and wondered absently if he could do simple math. It was really easy to figure out. Kitchen + Raven disaster. Besides, I highly doubted that anything that occurred in the kitchen could consist of fun. Boy, was I wrong.

When I didn't respond he continued. "I'll guide you step by step. I promise it won't be too bad."


I heaved a long suffering sigh. Who could it hurt? Well, besides anyone who ate the cake, which would be everyone but me. I'm not stupid enough to help make it and then eat it. That would be suicidal. And I might burn down the kitchen. Or the whole tower.

"Do we have a fire extinguisher in the kitchen?" I questioned, nonchalant.

"It won't be that bad...will it?" He had no idea.

I choose not to answer that inquiry, letting silence answer his absurd question.

Robin seemed to think a minute before responding slowly, as if considering his words. "Well, maybe you can stick to just stirring?"

I nodded a bit too quickly to suit my taste. "No problem."

He suddenly smiled and I sulked just a little bit. I swear, only a little.

"What's so funny? My non existent culinary skills are nothing to be amused about."

"Honestly? I don't know. I should find the fact that you're afraid of the kitchen hilarious but that's not it."

I glowered at him.

"Let's just get this over with." I growled as we entered the kitchen.

I sat at the table while Robin gathered all the things we would need. He stopped briefly at the oven to turn it on before continuing his hunt for his baking utensils and ingredients. I blinked as he placed a spoon, a huge, metal bowl in front of me and two smaller ones. Landing gently next to that was the eggs, the flour, vanilla extract, sugar, butter, baking powder, milk and chocolate squares.

Raising an eyebrow, I asked him a question that I thought was completely valid. "Umm, where's the box with that woman on the front, you know. Petty Brocker?"

Robin smiled at me and for some reason it felt condescending. I mentally shrugged. Maybe it was just me."You mean Betty Crocker."

I shrugged physically this time, yeah that chick. "Whatever. Where is it?"

"This cake will be homemade, Raven."

A groan escaped as I dropped my head to the table and narrowly missed an egg. Why me? Did he want to torture me?

He chuckled and I snarled at him. "You have a simple task: just stir."

"I would rather just take that processed crap and add water. Voila. Instant cake and no mess."

"Your cake was homemade."

"Pfft. It was four feet tall and made with meat and only God knows what else!"

"I didn't say it was edible."

I tried hard to bite back a smile. Stupid Boy Wonder with his stupid optimistic, yet masochistic attitude.

How could I resist?

"Alright fine. What do I do first?"

His smile brightened and I felt a lot better about the whole situation.

A feeling that didn't last very long.


Not very climatic or much of a cliff hanger but review anyway and tell me what you liked and what you hated. I hope I did this perspective justice. I've been reading a lot of books late from this POV so I hoping that it helped. Probably not sigh. REMEMBER TO REVIEW!
Spread your wings and fly...Butterfly