Easier to Run

By: Tiffany McClure

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb

Does it make you a bad person? It was just one bad thing. Just one mistake. Only if I knew all of these things at the time it all happened. You learn from your mistakes from what I heard…Why haven't I? My stupidity was to blame. I should have known better, but I didn't. So, I ended up making the biggest mistake in my life.

It's so much easier to go

Than face this pain here all alone

"Why would you do that?" a girl a year younger than me asked. She played with her short, brown hair. "We're your friends…We're here to help you."

I stared at her. "I know Kari…I wasn't thinking."

"Ken…Tell us what you're hiding," Davis rapped his arm around Kari. With his other hand, he scratched his spiky, brown hair.

Something has been taken

From deep inside me

"I'm not that sure what happened. It felt like I wasn't me. I felt like the darkness in my heart took over," I remembered.

Yolei looked around. Her purple hair was tangled. "You need to come clean…No more secrets Ken."

A secret I've kept locked away

No one can ever see

"I can't tell you," I frowned.

"Then, what can you tell us?" T.K. demanded. A white hat flew off his head showing his blonde hair. He picked up the hat.

"There isn't anything you can know."

Cody, the youngest in the group, made fists with his hands. His brown hair moved in the breeze. "Well Ken, if you won't tell us anything…We can't help you!"

I brushed my violet hair from my face. They would never understand, but I needed their help. I stood up.

Wounds so deep they never show

They never go away

I never thought I would have to tell anyone what happened. Was this my only choice? Yes.

"You can't tell anyone. Ok?" I said.

"Fine," Kari softly agreed.

"A week ago…I saw a man murder this woman. The murderer saw me and said if I told anyone…That he would kill me slowly and painfully. With that said, he punched me, and I fell…I didn't see which way he went," I looked away.

"That's terrible!" Yolei gasped.

"You have to tell the cops," Kari frowned.

I saw everything flash in my head. Then, I saw what would happen if I told.

Like moving pictures in my head

For years and years they've played

"No! I can't! I…Just leave me alone!" I started to walk off.

Kari and Yolei yelled after me. "Ken! Don't run from this. Ken!"

It wasn't worth the pain. Not when I made my own mistake.

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

If I didn't do my own criminal act…I would tell the police. What would happen if the truth came out? It's not like I have anything to risk. I could tell the only people who trust me…But I might lose them because of my stupid act.

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could

I walked into my apartment.

"Ken, honey, you're home. How are you?" my mom asked me.

"Shut up woman! Don't ask me questions!" I snapped as I shut my bedroom door.

Stand up and take the blame I would

If I could take all the shame to the grave I

Would

I was leaning up against the door when I made yet another stupid decision.

"I have nothing to risk…Nothing to lose," I told myself.

I packed my backpack with clothes and the little money I had. With that done, I climbed out my bedroom window. It was the only choice I thought I had. I was wrong…I just wish I knew that then.

Sometimes I remember

The darkness of my past

It was a few days ago when all of this happened. No one has found me. No one cares about me anymore. I try to let the pain go, but I can't help but remember my dark past. The shame I held in my heart.

Bringing back these memories

I wish I didn't have

"Over there!" I heard a girl yell.

When the group of kids came, I found out who they really were.

"Ken! You're not hurt…Why did you run away? We wanted to help," Kari hugged me.

Yolei frowned. "We were scared."

"I just needed some time to myself. I didn't mean to make you worry," I said.

Sometimes I think of letting go

And never looking back

I needed to confess. They needed to know my terrible past.

"What haven't you been telling us?" Davis asked.

I frowned. "When I saw that murder…I couldn't help but let the darkness in my heart come back through. I remembered my past; all my criminal acts. I couldn't control myself, so…I killed the guy who killed the girl. It was so fast, like it wasn't even real, but it was. Now that you know…You can turn me in. Now you know what kind of person I can be. I tried to stop all the bad things…It never worked."

"Oh…" T.K. softly said.

Cody just gasped.

And never moving forward so

There would never be a past

"Ken…We won't tell anyone, just promise not to do it again," Kari smiled.

"I can't! I can't control myself. It's not worth the pain. This is who I am! I'm sorry, but it's the truth!" I yelled.

Yolei slapped me. "That's a lie! You can be whomever you want to be. It's your life…You need to make the choices."

Just washing it aside

All of the helplessness inside

Can I do that? Can I forget about all my mistakes and my past? I never knew I could start off new. Just leave the past behind me. Oh, but what if…? I feel out of place. This is confusing.

Pretending I don't feel misplaced

Is so much simpler than change

"Dude, you can't change who you were, but you can make your life better," Davis reminded me.

Cody stared at the ground. "You can't keep secrets from us…Not if you want us to trust you."

"But-"

"No more buts Ken! We're your friends…You can tell us anything," T.K. decided.

Kari stared at me. "You can't just run from everything. Life doesn't work like that."

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb

Why didn't anyone tell me not to run? Why wasn't I told I could learn from my mistakes? If I knew this from the start, I would have never done these stupid things. I guess I learned from this mistake.

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

"You aren't alone Ken," Yolei smiled.

"We're your friends; we're here to help you," Kari said.

"I should get home," I decided.

"We'll come with," Davis nodded.

We began to walk. "What would I do without you guys?"

"You would have lived in a life of questions. You would have thought running was the only solution when friendship is the key to life," Kari softly told me.

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could

Stand up and take the blame I would

If I could take all the shame to the grave I

Would

Running wasn't the right solution. My own stupidity made me do it. Can I change my own criminal past? Yes. I have more than one choice. My darkness in my heart can't control me! I won't let it. With friendship, anything is possible. I can't keep thinking about my past…I have to look towards the future. I can't change what happened. I won't let the darkness in my heart control me anymore!

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move I made I would

If I could

Stand up and take the blame I would

If I could take all the shame to the grave I

Would

NOTE

I do not own the characters in this story. Also, I do not own the song lyrics. These characters are from the anime Digimon. The lyrics are from the song "Easier to Run" by Linkin Park. I'm not making any money off of this story…It's just a fanfic.