The World Spins Madly On

A.N: This fanfic takes place right after "As We Know It," so Mark never came into the picture and so forth.

Also, I know that Dr. Bailey is on maternity leave, etc. but for the purpose of my story... she was never pregnant. Also, while I do say that all characters are involved, the are merely there because the story would be weird without them there. So, the story mainly focuses on Derek and Meredith.

And, while this chapter I would say is for older children I am still marking the whole story as Teen. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy.

Chapter 1: Heal Over

Since when did life get so serious? It seems like it was just yesterday that I was this little girl running around in the backyard, unconcerned about surgeries, boys, and the future. Now, that innocence of childhood has turned into responsibilities and work. There is no more time to play, and life has suddenly become serious. It's like I'm a fish caught in a tank. Swimming and swimming, struggling to get somewhere, anywhere, without realizing that I can't get there. I'm held in that one place... boundaries on every side of me, and I can't get out.

A few days ago, I had a feeling...a feeling that something would go terribly wrong. But instead of following my gut, I went to work... and ended up watching a bomb explode. Not exactly the kind of day you'd have when you were a kid. Funny how that changes... funny how when you're a kid the worst thing you think can happen is that one of your friends stops talking to you.

Today is my first day back at work since that bomb went off in my face. I would've come back the day after, but they gave me two days mandatory recovery time, which was more than likely to ensure that I didn't freak out on some patient.

I thought I'd be okay with coming back to the hospital, but as it turns out... I'm not. Mainly because I'm scared of seeing him because the last time I saw him was the night of the explosion, and that night it was like Addison didn't exist. Today, she would become real again.

"Meredith?" George asked.

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." I slammed the door to my locker, and nodded my head at him, trying to reassure him and myself that today was going to be alright... that it couldn't get any worse, but the truth was I didn't believe it. These days I tend to be operating in a glass half empty kind of way.

Everyone began to shuffle out, but I couldn't move. I knew the second that I walked outside the chance of me seeing him increased to about 95-percent.

"Let's go, Dr. Grey." Bailey shouted into the locker room.

Cristina was waiting for me by the door, giving me a knowing look. She knew that my hesitation wasn't because I didn't want to work; it was because I didn't want to be confronted with the one thing that still haunts my every thought. McDreamy.

Bailey began to give orders to everyone, and everyone filed out. It wasn't until everyone was gone that I realized I was the lone intern standing with Bailey, and I hadn't heard a single word she'd said to anyone else.

"Dr. Grey, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." I lied through my teeth, and I knew sure she'd figure it out... just like the time she asked what Cristina and Izzie were doing and I couldn't even manage to formulate a lie that would keep her out of that autopsy room for ten minutes.

"You're a horrible liar, Grey." I tried to smile in response, but it was no use. "Alright well, there are patients in rooms 203, 415, 422, and 516 that could use a doctor."

I nodded at her and then turned to head towards the elevator. The elevator that only a few months ago I made out with him in. His lips felt so perfect pressed against mine, and his hands... they knew exactly where to go. When I kissed him, it felt like something that I'd been doing all my life; it felt like there could be no one else for me.

The elevator doors opened, and I stepped in without even bothering to look up and greet the faces of the people that were already standing inside. One by one they shuffled out onto their respective floors, and I remained standing in the back, head down. It wasn't until I saw his feet that I realized there was someone else in the elevator.

"Meredith, how are you?" He said in that low voice that made me want to rip off his clothes right then and there.

"I'm fine, Dr. Shepherd." I tried to avert my eyes. I didn't want him to know the truth.

"Meredith..."

"No, it's okay. I'm okay."

"You've been through a lot, it would be normal to feel different..."

"I haven't felt the same for quite some time now," I whispered, "see you around, Dr. Shepherd."

I walked off the elevator without looking back. I didn't want to see his face, the pained expression that he still carried from choosing her, and so I kept walking, hoping that this would all go away soon.