Author's Notes: Bored. It's short, and won't be continued. Yes, I wrote a Namiora. The world's gone TOPSY TURVY!
Disclaimer: Well since the world's gone TOPSY TURVY! I believe I do own Kingdom Hearts!
I wander through the top floor of the castle, gazing dully at the whitewashed walls. Everything is so familiar; I've seen it all so often, and so much over the past six months. I hardly remember being anywhere else in my whole life. A whole life… and only six month's worth of memories.
They used to say I drew other people's memories in an attempt to gain my own. Perhaps they were right. But my notebook has long since run out of pages, and who is left to provide me with drawing materials? I am alone here. I spend my days exploring the castle, tied to it by the small, insignificant memories I have. I've become familiar with every single crack, every tiny blemish on the walls of every room. Every identical white room. White… everything is white. Even this dress I always wear… so blank and colourless. I glance down at the dress; realising for the first time how incredibly clean and smooth it is - how well it matches my prison.
Blinking, I look up again. My feet have brought me back again to the memory pod room. I sigh, and let myself sink into the worn-out chair against the back wall. From here I can see right into the pods; through the misty glass, onto the closed eyes of the sleepers within. My trained, sharp eyes glance first at the duck, Donald, in the left pod, then to Goofy, on the right. Finally I look to Sora, in the middle. I smile, gazing at his untroubled, sleeping face.
Of course, there is another reason why I cannot leave this place.
Almost six months you've been floating in there, and still you look identical to that day we first met. Your spiky hair is still as wild and messy; your face just as innocent, and I'm sure your closed lids still hide the bright blue eyes I loved so much. I remember that day you saw me for the first time; I recall clearly your hurried, concerned features, worrying about somebody who you'd never met before.
I'm so sorry, Sora. I could never forgive myself for what I did to you. I still feel the ache of undeniable guilt in my heart when I remember you smiling at me, even when you knew you were reminiscing on fake, planted memories.
Your heart… it's so pure, Sora. I felt its strength when I delved into your mind. You're a kind, trusting person. And… you forgave me. You held not even the smallest grudge. Even after what I did, even after I tried to replace that special person in your heart, and lied to you, you still forgave me. I'll never forget that. You couldn't believe that I was a horrible person, and even tried to keep the promises you'd made in those fake memories.
It isn't fair. To you, or to me.
The most special person to you, Sora. Why couldn't it be me? I know… I'm selfish. I know I'm a horrible person… but… for those few moments where you strived to protect me, where you loved me… I felt so blissfully happy. Somebody cared about me, for only me, and of all people, it was you.
I admit, the moment I saw you, watching over you as you bravely ploughed your way through this godforsaken castle, I fancied you. You looked so brave; carrying a personality of mixed determination, confidence and naivety. But I have long since learned that it was not my own feelings that brought about that liking, but the connection with my other self. You and she were destined to be together. Why don't I have someone like that? Why did Destiny not assign me a person, specially for me?
Her. If we are apparently so alike, how is it that we are complete opposites? In your memory, she is always cheerful, alight with happiness, whilst I am always pushed away, sad, manipulated by darkness. She is kind and friendly, while I manage to be the opposite...
Cruel, uncaring, and selfish.
And when you wake up, Sora, you will only remember her. There's no room for me in your heart, is there? I guess… this is the cruel irony I suffer for messing with your memories; complete obliteration from your mind. I imagine you waking up, still long from now, with not a clue as to where you are, spotting me and asking suspiciously who I am, as though I had captured you and brought you here.
Tears drip silently onto that pale white dress.
I wish I was like you, Sora; I wish I was somebody. I wish I wasn't connected to you only because of my other self. I wish you could love me, instead of her, and love me for me, not because I resemble her. I want my own life; I want to be complete.
You're forgetting, Sora, you're forgetting me... and when you awake, you'll have forgotten me completely…
No one but nobody.
I can't bear it. You forgetting, forgetting everything that happened here. You were the only person that ever felt pity, compassion for me, and you're forgetting it, forgetting everything. My eyes burn painfully at the thought of it; hot tears spilling down my porcelain cheeks.
And as I wipe them back, my lips form a small, sad smile, thinking of a last wavering hope.
Still, I'll watch over you, until that time comes. I made a promise, didn't I? Then there's nothing else left but to keep that promise. I am nobody, I have no one, and that is how it goes.
A/N: Blah. Yes, another depressing angsty fic by me. And yes, I do know it was clichéd. XD After playing CoM again I felt sorry for Nami, so I had to write something for her…
Dedicated to ze little bookworm937 who wanted me to write a Namiora. Meh. :)
DESCRIPTION: Any shape or size, just not too flamey please!
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