Author's Note: Hark! The summer heat is upon us all! Hurray for summer break! Ok, one of my AU's... XD Sorta skeleton-ed after a Korean movie (100 Days with Mr. Arrogant-- watch it! I absolutely ADORED it...) but the rest of the plot is mine...
Standard Disclaimers Apply.
Pairings: mainly Sasunaru... with other pairings that might make guest appearances per reviewers' requests:D
100 Days with Mr. Stupidhead
Chapter 1: A close encounter
It was a dark and moonless night… In downtown metropolis of Konohagakure, store owners were just about closing down their shops for the night, and workaholics were getting ready to head home. In another, better part of town however…
"This…this is… too much…"
Crystal tears fell from equally crystalline blue eyes as a boy with sun-blonde hair crushed a piece of paper tightly to his chest.
He shivered at the night wind and breathing, stared down below. Down… down… down it went, 14 stories in total. Not even a demon could survive a fall like that. Well, a demon might; but certainly not a 17-year old boy.
Uzumaki Naruto, at the prime of his young life, shorter than average height, and a finicky connoisseur of ramen, was going to kick the bucket tonight.
"Ok…" he murmured to himself, taking one last glance at the darkness around him. "Here goes…"
Closing his eyes, he stretched out his arms, took a deep breath and slowly fell forward…
Until a pair of arms caught him from behind, that is.
"Naruto! What the hell do you think you're doing?" came his savior's voice from somewhere above his head.
"Hm… heaven is warm… soft, too. Is that Neji's voice I hear?" the blonde mumbled hazily, blinking his eyes at the sudden light, and the figure that was right above him.
What's Neji doing in heaven? Isn't he supposed to be in that "other" place along with all the other rich, stuck-up bastards in the world?
"And I suppose you think suicide doesn't lead you to eternal damnation, either." The aforementioned "rich, stuck-up bastard" said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.
Naruto sat straight up. "Neji! It's really you!"
The Hyuuga stared at his younger friend with a weary sort of exasperation.
"Naruto," he said in a painfully patient voice. "the next time you try to kill yourself, do it at your own place, won't you?"
Said blonde pouted. "I can't! I live in a bungalow, remember? Even throwing myself off the roof wouldn't kill me. Besides, the old lady would kill me for splattering blood on the lawn."
Neji rolled his eyes. "And you don't think I'd kill you for leaving a corpse for me to find?"
"Of course not. What are friends for?"
"Never mind." The older boy sighed and got up and stuck out a hand for Naruto to grab.
"Hmph…stuck-up bastard…" Naruto grumbled, ignoring the hand and getting up on his own.
Hearing the comment, Neji smirked. "And I suppose that's why I belong to that "other" place you were talking about."
Naruto blinked. Oops… He grinned sheepishly and followed the Hyuuga into the kitchen.
After grabbing two mugs of warm beverages—coffee for Neji and chocolate for Naruto—both boys sat down in comfortable silence.
"So… are you taking pills now?" the pale-eyed boy finally broke the silence, smirking at the blonde across him.
Naruto glared his hardest and stuck his tongue out at Neji. "No."
"…What was that all about, anyway?"
"Well…" he paused, looking down at his mug with his lower lip stuck out in a small pout.
He looked so down-hearted that even Neji's below-zero degrees icy heart cracked a micrometer.
"Neji…" and this time, watery blue eyes looked up at him in despair. Ok; scratch the micrometer and make that a centimeter. The Hyuuga did have a soft spot for his best friend, after all.
"NEJI!" Wailed Naruto, leaping right across the table into a very startled Neji.
Miraculously, nothing on the table was spilled.
Neji on the other hand, was suffering a severe case of shock from Naruto's sudden launched attack. When he finally came to his senses, the blonde was blubbering on his $7000 cashmere sweatshirt.
"Naruto…Please tell me what's going on." he said as calmly as he could, what with the sobbing blonde clinging to his very expensive shirt and all.
"I… fwed muw shwnth wizsh thush sherm…" Naruto finally mumbled into his best friend's chest.
"… And kindly remove your face from my shirt."
The blonde lifted his head and gave the brunette a watery glare. Then he bit his lip and sniffled.
"I FAILED MY TWNETIETH QUIZ THIS TERM!" he yelled right into Neji's ear.
Neji grimaced as all 2 of his eardrums shattered. 'Oh well… there goes my hearing…'
He sighed. "Let me get this straight… you received your 20th quiz for the term today, failed it, as with all the previous 19 quizzes you failed. And then you decide to kill yourself by jumping off the 14th floor of an apartment building. More specifically, MY apartment. Am I getting this right?"
"Pretty much." Naruto nodded vigorously.
"You idiot." Neji sighed again, raising an arm above the blonde.
The blonde winced at the smack he was undoubtedly getting on the side of the head (or on the top, if he was unlucky.).
A hand came to rest on his soft, yellow spikes.
"Naruto," Neji leaned his forehead against his friend's.
"You knew I was going to catch you anyway, weren't you?"
Blue eyes blinked innocently at pale ones. Then Naruto's mouth stretched into a grin. "Yup!" he announced gleefully.
"Owww!" the blonde yelped, grabbing the side of his head.
"You are such an idiot." Neji smirked, shaking his head. He stood up, unceremoniously dropping Naruto on his butt on the floor.
"That really hurt, you know!" he whined, rubbing at his sore bottom as he stood.
The Hyuuga smirked again. "Hn. Serves you right."
"Go home, Naruto. I'm sure Tsunade-san is getting worried about you."
Naruto groaned with dread. "Are you kidding? That old lady's going to torture me within an inch of my life when she sees my grades."
"Well, at least she'll leave you alive." Ah. Ever practical; that was Neji for you.
"Fine." Naruto grumbled, picking up his things. "I'll go throw myself in front of a car or something."
He stormed through the large apartment and stopped at the door, pausing to put on his shoes.
"Naruto," Neji called from behind him.
"What?" he turned around snappishly—right in time to catch a book that was thrown at him.
"Oof!" Damn… that thing was heavy.
"Read through that. Maybe something will stick in that stubborn brain of yours."
Naruto gave a small noise of thanks and turned to leave, but not before shooting his friend with a grateful smile, and Neji watched with fond amusement as the blonde closed the door behind him.
The blonde sang to himself as he began walking down the street towards the direction of his house.
"Neji sure is nice to help me out this time!" Naruto said to himself, completely forgetting the previous 19 times Neji had similarly lent him his books, but neglected to study. (in fact, all 19 previously 'borrowed' books were still in a pile over at Naruto's House, currently collecting dust and cobwebs. Neji's apartment was slowly but surely emptying of its books.)
"I wonder what's in this book anyway…?" he mumbled, flipping the book open as he absently crossed a silent street.
A car came suddenly skidding out of nowhere, headed right at him.
"Uwaaaaaaaah!" Naruto dove towards the sidewalk, narrowly avoiding being hit by the car. The first thought on his mind, of course, was revenge.
"OI! COME BACK HERE, YOU STUPIDHEAD! YOU NEARLY KILLED AN INNOCENT CIVILIAN WITH YOUR IDIOTIC DRIVING!" and with that, he hurled Neji's hard-bound, metal-plated, 10-pound book with all his strength right at the offending car.
The blonde could only stare in silent horror as the book sailed in a graceful arc through the air, bounce off the trunk of the car (leaving a rather attractive dent) and crash right through the back window.
The car screeched to a halt.
And just as the door of the car opened, Naruto's frozen brain unfroze long enough to register a single coherent thought.
And run he did.
Ok, that's it for chapter one:D heehee! Won't you pleeease tell me what you think? Sasuke will of course be making his appearance in the next chapter. XD