Too Much Information

A Bleach fic: Hitsugaya Toushirou and Hinamori Momo

Author's notes: I love the idea of Shiro-chan in love. But what about Hina? I dunno. But by golly, if I wanna write crack-ish stuff, I will.

Usually a visit from the fifth division vice-captain wasn't so eventful. However, today was an exception. It all started because the tenth division captain's, Hitsugaya-taichou's, furisode was slightly loose, revealing a bit of his toned chest.

"Shiro-chan, when did you get man-breasts?" Momo's eyes widened.

This caused raised eyebrows from the captain and laughter from his vice, Rangiku. He shook his head and turned back to the paper on his desk. "Stupid," he said, and proceeded to re-adjust his furisode.

But it didn't end there. Oh no. Because Momo's hand flew to his chest, patting it, caressing it, feeling the shape of his pectorals. "What are you doing!" he asked in alarm. For god sakes, did she really have no shame? To grope him during his work time… and his office door was open…

"Your chest is bigger than mine!" she admitted with a gentle frown, and proceeded to grope her own chest… right in front of Toushirou.

Toushirou's face erupted in different shades of red. His face slightly resembled a fish, lips and eyes gaping open in shock… and interest. He swallowed hard, watching her hands move over her own small mounds. "You like the show, Taichou?" he heard his vice-captain tease, a grin appearing on her glossy lips.

As his reply, he threw a three-foot stack of paper work on her desk. "So mean, Taichou," Rangiku sighed with a smile on her face.

"Hinamori!" Toushirou finally found his voice. "The only reason why my chest is… toned is because I trained."

Hinamori said nothing for a few moments. Then, "I wonder if you still have a butt," she placed a finger on her chin, as if in serious thought.

Rangiku was in the process of picking up her pen when she heard this. "What?"

"Hinamori…" Toushirou growled. "Shut up…"

"He had the cutest bubble butt growing up. It was perfect and round," Momo smiled with such glee, rounding her palm out as if cupping an object.

By now, the hallway was filled with tenth division subordinates, listening in on their captain's 'facts'. And with each passing word, Toushirou went from pink-faced to red. "No, I didn't!" he tried to regain some sort of dignity back.

"Yes, you did!" Momo responded. "I saw it! Remember, we used to take baths together as kids!"

The captain of the tenth division suddenly changed to a strange red/red-violet color. Hoots, hollers and whistles erupted from the hallways. Phrases like "You go, Taichou!", "Captain likes them older!", and "Whoo-hoo! Teach me how to score!" rang through the crowd that had formed outside his door.


More silence.

Then, aqua-green eyes began to glow. "Souten ni Zase, Hyourinmaru!"

Men scrambled and dispersed as they tried to run away from their captain's wrath and shikai. As Toushirou sprinted after his vulgar division members with a giant ice serpent of doom, Rangiku looked to Momo with an amused smile on her face. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?"

Momo returned the smile with her own as she approached Toushirou's desk. "I like getting him riled up," she admitted softly, taking a sip from his teacup. "He's so cute."