Wrote this because I felt like it. Enjoy!

Editor: RBMIfan

Author: BasicallyAnIdiot

Disclaimer: I don't own only thing….

Starting… Opening… Whatever…

Itachi's Thoughts

"When you hear the name Akatsuki you automatically think of missing-nins, demons, criminals and the like. However what most people don't know is that deep within the place they like to call base it's a different story…"

Itachi groaned as the light streaming through the window woke him from his sleep. How the light got there since the base is located underground we will never know. He rolled over to block out the light and promptly fell out of bed. While on the floor he fished out his prized pink bunny slippers and the pink housecoat Kisame had gotten him last Christmas. Donning the unlikely outfit he processed to stumble to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When finished, the pyro wobbled into the base's kitchen.

Itachi scooped up a breakfast of fries and a milkshake waiting n the kitchen counter and plucked himself in front of the TV. Kisame was in the corner knitting what we strongly suspect is a pink scarf for next Christmas. Sasori was in the kitchen making pancakes, he insisted that fries and a milkshake were not a proper breakfast foods and that the Akatsuki would come to ruin if they did not get proper nourishment. Deidara was in the corner, far away anything remotely breakable, making a rather large statue of a vampire unicorn with his exploding clay. Zetsu was seated at the table drinking his third cup of coffee and reading the morning newspaper. You have to wonder how the paperboy found the base.

Itachi flicked on the TV and nibbled on a fry as he switch to the Konoha News channel.

"And now our top stories. A market mess up leaves disgruntled citizens muttering against the Hokage. Orochimaru was spotted in the forest near Konoha, ANBU have found no leads. A young genin goes missing, to the shock of friends and teachers." The newsman announced dramatically.

'Boring.' Itachi thought, disappointed. 'But there's nothing else to do.' He settled into watch. He sat up straighter as a picture he knew all to well came up on the screen.

"After the Uchiha Massacre…" The announcer began, but Itachi was already in a ranting mood. When Itachi got into his ranting mood he tended to argue with the TV.

"They deserved it. Besides, they should have known it would happen sooner or later."

"…There were only two surviving Uchiha: Sasuke and Itachi…"

"Hasn't anyone noticed that we're brothers, yet?"

"…Of the two, Itachi went missing-nin and it appears that Sasuke is fallowing in his footsteps, joining up with the infamous Orochimaru…"

Itachi choked on his French fry, Kisame forgot what he was doing and poked himself with the knitting needle, Sasori's pancake landed unnoticed on his head, Deidara pushed the clay too hard and it exploded in his face and Zetsu spit out his coffee. All the Akatsuki members crowed around the TV. Deidara noticed then that Itachi was choking and began the Heimlich maneuver on him, while shouting, "You can't die on us now, un!"

Itachi coughed and spit out the fry. "Thanks."

Deidara, however, didn't hear him and continued.

"He isn't choking anymore." Zetsu pointed out, pulling Deidara off Itachi.

"No! Itachi's gonna die, un!" Deidara seemed to have gone a little funny from the stress. Itachi rolled his eyes and ignored him.

"Kisame." He said. Turning to the Kiri-missing-nin.

"Yes, Itachi, knit one, pearl two, knit one…."

"I thought Orochimaru had disappeared."

"Yes, Itachi, knit one, pearl two, knit one…."

"Did my foolproof plan fail?"

"Yes, Itachi, knit one, pearl two, knit one…."

"Did six years of being outcast go down the drain?

"Yes, Itachi, knit one, pearl two, knit one…."

"Did the massacre of my entire clan go to waste?"

"Yes, Itachi, knit one, pearl two, knit one…."

"Kisame, if you're listening say no."

"Yes, Itachi, knit one, pearl two, knit one…."

Itachi sweatdropped. Just then Akatsuki member Tobi walked by. He quickly turned and did a double take.

Deidara was crying in the corner, repeating over and over, "Itachi's dead. Itachi's dead." Kisame was knitting, as usual. Zetsu was tearing up the bathroom, looking for paper towels. Itachi –looking well alive- was rubbing his temples, an anger mark pulsing on his forehead, muttering painful ways to kill Kisame and the snake. Sasori was wearing a pink apron in the kitchen and…. is that a pancake on his head? The Suna missing-nin didn't appear to have noticed it yet.

Tobi shrugged and continued on his way to the Leader. After all there was nothing usual about that picture.

Tell me what you thought. Later! -