By Jacquie and Sassy
Post-Committed…yes we know we are a little late…but better late than never…right?
Thanks to KC for being the beta on this one
Sara woke up in a cold sweat. She could still feel Adam's make shift knife pressing into her neck. She pulled on sweat pants and an oversized sweat shirt. If she couldn't sleep, she'd run. Run from the fear that had griped her as he held her against him, run from the look she saw in Grissom's eyes, run from the cowardness she'd felt for not sticking up for herself. She'd just run.
She didn't know how long she'd been running. It had started to rain. When she looked up, she saw that her body had somehow led her to him. Led her to the one man that she knew could take all the pain away. But could he? Would he?
She stood on his doorstep and led her knuckles rap hard on the door. Please be home. She banged again.
Grissom was indeed awake. His breath smelled faintly of scotch. "Sara?" He immediately opened the door for her and let her in.
She fell sobbing and shaking at his feet. He slowly took her in his arms. "Honey, you're soaking wet," he murmured gently.
She pushed him back as she gained her ground. "I need to feel you."
"I'll hold you if you want me too," he told her. "But I'd also like to get you dry."
"Why can't you love me, Grissom? Why?" She said as she moved so that her body was flush with his. His body began to tremble slightly, much to her surprise.
She turned to go. Why did you come here? Why when you know he is nothing but a coward? Afraid of you, Sara. Afraid of you.
"Sara...don't go," he whispered pleadingly.
"Why not? You don't care. No one cares."
His jaw tightened in momentary anger. "Fine. Go." He went and resumed his place in front of his scotch bottle. His hand started trembling as he poured himself another glass, as he desperately tried to shake off the images of Sara being held and the fear that coursed through him when he couldn't get to her. "What do I know about love anyway...I'm Gruesome Grissom…" he muttered to himself. "Tin man with no heart..."
She slammed the door hard. "You have a heart." She advanced on him. She took the bottle and slammed it against the far wall. "It's just buried way down deep in there and you are afraid to let anyone see." She put her hand gently over his heart. "Let me in. Let me see." Tears streamed down her face. She no longer felt the anger towards him that had consumed her moments before. Her heart broke for him. "Please." she whispered.
"I want to be near you, Sara...don't push me away..." he whispered back.
"Stop running." Her words were simple but held so much truth. She felt a shudder go through him as the walls around him started to crumble.
She moved her hand, from over his heart to his bearded cheek. "Just let me love you...I ask for nothing else." His eyes closed at her touch. She moved closer. "Grissom..."
He smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, Sara." His eyes stayed closed for another moment as he tried to get himself under control before he opened them again.
She let her fingers trail over his lips. She shivered. A little tentatively at first, Grissom pulled her against him, waiting to see if she would pull away. But he said nothing.
He would only speak if she wanted him to.
"I'm cold." She said as her shirt clung to her body.
He gently kissed her forehead. "I can run you a hot bath, if you want." Grissom didn't realize it at first, but Sara could now see in his eyes how scared he had been, scared of losing her.
"I'd like that." She said as she pulled him against her. "I'm here."
He allowed himself to be held for a moment. "I'm getting you all wet." She said softly, trying to pull away.
"It's okay. I've been worse than this." He gave her a smile as he let her go.
"I don't' have any dry clothes...maybe I should go home." She didn't know how long he'd let her stay...how long he'd be this close to her without pulling away.
"Sara, it's still storming outside. You can borrow my mom's pajamas." Grissom had adopted a slightly firmer, but still gentle tone. "We'll put your clothes in the dryer and when the storm stops or when it's morning, whichever comes first, you can go if you want." A hard lump was in his throat as he said the last part. He didn't want her to go. He sighed, almost in resignation and turned to draw her bath.
"In your mom's pajamas I'm sure to look like a grandma." She said with a sigh and followed him. "I guess they'll do though."
"Flatterer. What if I want to stay for breakfast?" She said as she slipped the sweatshirt over her head. She was left only in her bra. He could clearly see her flat, toned stomach.
He blinked rapidly and made himself turn away. "That would be fine. I've got plenty of food."
"I'm just a girl, Grissom."
"Not just a girl, Sara" His voice was soft again like he was disagreeing with her statement. He closed the bathroom door softly behind him, giving Sara some privacy. He leaned against the door for a moment, finally sighing. She's only here till morning. Then she's leaving me again...
She emerged twenty minutes later wrapped in a towel. "They are too big, Grissom. They fall off of me."
"Surely there's something..." then he trailed off. "I've made up the guest room for you." he said instead. He didn't tell her at the time, but one of his shirts was sitting on the pillow.
She walked toward the guestroom where he pointed. She shut the door. She knew the fear she saw in his eyes just an hour before was too good to be true. She found the shirt and pulled it to her body. It smelled of him. She quickly let the towel hit the floor and she pulled it over her head. She slipped under the covers. Exhaustion ready to take over her body, her eyes slid closed.
Grissom stood in the doorway watching her for a moment.
"Just hold me," she whispered. She didn't know he was there. "Just for tonight...I'll never ask you for another thing. Just hold me." She felt the bed shift, and then warm arms around her.
Her eyes opened, and immediately locked with his deep blue ones. "I'll never ask for anything else, Grissom. Ever."
"You can ask me for anything you want." He said softly.
"The one thing I'd ask for you, you can't give." She looked away from him.
"Sara..." he took a breath. "I was ready to die for you in that ward."
She searched his eyes and saw the truth in them. "I know. I could see it...then...in that moment."
"Whatever you want from me, I'll give it to you," he whispered.
"I just want you to love me." A tear slipped out of her tightly closed eyes. Grissom kissed the tear away. She slowly opened her eyes. "I know I'm asking for too much."
He smiled softly at her. "It's not too much." I'd give you everything if I could...stars...the planets...
She wanted to kiss him, soft and slow. She was afraid to make that move. Afraid he'd run again. So she lay her head on his chest and her hand on his stomach.
Grissom closed his eyes for a moment before gently lifting her head and making the move for her. The kiss was soft, but lingering.
Her lips tingled. She had to touch them to make sure they were real.
"I'm here, Sara," he whispered in her ear, afraid for a moment he had done something wrong.
"Again." She said drawing him back toward her lips.
Another soft kiss that was gradually deepened, Grissom made sure he was paying attention to her reactions though. He would stop if she wanted him too...even though all he wanted was to be with her forever like this…
"Don't stop." She said, as his mouth moved to her neck.
"Will if you want me to," he murmured as he pressed gentle kisses to the skin on her throat.
She shivered as he let his mouth move to her ear. "I don't want you to stop." Ever.
"Tell me what you want me to do," he whispered in her ear.
"Show me how you feel." She said as he pulled himself up so that he could look down into her eyes, into her soul.
A curious glimmer came into his eyes as he said softly, "That could take a while."
"I've got the rest of my life."
Grissom sat up slightly, so he could remove his clothing. At that moment, he needed Sara to touch him. She sat up slowly and reached for him. "Let me." She pulled his shirt up and over his head. She let it fall to the bed silently as she tugged on his sweats. "Little help here." She said as she let her mouth taste his skin. She nibbled just above his right nipple.
A soft moan escapes his lips as his trembling hands pushed his sweats down. Sara's hands trembled as they moved down his body. She slid his boxers down over his hips. "Grissom...do you have..."
He stopped, mentally cursing himself. "I'll be right back."
She followed him. "Your bed, Grissom."
He wasn't surprised that she had followed him. He smiled at her before he opened the top drawer of his nightstand. She pushed him back onto the bed taking the condom from him. She gently rolled it down his arousal. She looked up at him and begun to pull his shirt over her head.
His hands reached out to help, but started to pull back a little. He was aching to touch her. Sara watched him tremble. "I won't break," she whispered.
"I know...it's me I'm worried about." he said with a weak smile.
"Do you want to stop?" She took a deep breath. "Just say the word, Grissom."
"No," he said in a slightly stronger voice. Gently he laid her back on the bed and covered her with his body. He captured her lips with his. Then, slowly, he began to move.
She felt him slide deep inside her. She gripped his back hard as he filled her. She moaned. Grissom paused for a moment so she could get used to him. He kissed her perspiring forehead. "You okay?"
She nodded and began to move her hips with his.
He buried his face against her neck as his body took over. He felt complete being with her like this. He was trying to be gentle, but when he felt her come, it drove him into desperation. He moved a little harder. "I've got you, Sara…come for me again," he murmured into her ear. "Please..."
She tightened her legs around him as she felt herself welling up again. She let go again, screaming his name. He followed her a moment later, groaning out her name. He didn't want to move. Then he was worried he was crushing her, so he started to get up.
She pulled him back down to her. "Don't."
"Sssh...okay, honey, I won't." he caressed her softly. Instead, he turned her over so she was laying on his chest.
"I love you," she whispered.
Instead of the shocked response that she expected, Grissom softly kissed her hair. "I know. I love you too."