,Hikari" by GreatMarta
Prologue: Darkness of despair
–I'm so sorry, Hideo... I.. I can't stay and rise him… with you.
–What are you talking about? Of course you'll rise him with me. We'll rise him together. You will be fine. You won't leave. You simply can't. –Hideo Sakura whispered to his wife, as he held her hand in his. The woman tried to smile. But it was so difficult. She was suffering. Suffering from two kinds of pain.
The first one was physical pain. A pain, that made her whole pale and sweaty. Slowly killing her since the delivery. Despite all the medicine and the efforts of the doctors.
The second one was even worse. It was the pain of knowing, she will never be there for her newborn son. She will never see him growing up, she won't be able to guide him, to tech him, to be a mother he could rely on. And the awareness of that hurt her like nothing else had ever hurt her before.
–I... want to... see him. –she pleased. Her husband stood up and went to the cradle, in which their baby lied. He picked the boy up, came back to his wife's bed and placed the child on her chest. Feeling her son close to her and seeing his face, she felt relieved. At least for a moment. –My son... –she whispered, caressing the boy's head gently. –My Bunjiro... I'm so sorry... I can't... stay with you... and your father... but remember... I love you... I may not be with you... but my heart will always do. –the baby moved on her chest in anxiety, feeling, that something bad was about to happen. His father had tears in his eyes. His wife was dying, and there was nothing he could do. He wasn't able to help her. For the first time in his life, he was absolutely defenseless. This was so unfair. They were supposed to be happy. Now, after she moved to his house, after they've got married and had their first child, their life was supposed to be like a fairy tale. But it turned into a Hollywood horror.
Baby Bunjiro started to cry. He couldn't stand the amount of sadness that was filling the room. –My poor child... –his mother whispered, pulling him closer. –My poor children...
–Children? –Hideo asked. In Japanese language, there was practically no difference between singular and plural. But his wife used the word ,two", when referring to the noun: child. This was surprising. They only had one child. Perhaps it's the illness. It's doesn't let her think soberly. So it's getting worse.
–Hideo. –the woman turned to her husband. –How could I... I didn't mean to... I was so afraid... Will she ever forgive me?
–Hikari... –she replied. Her own name. Was she asking, if she'll ever forgive herself? Certainly. She was loosing her senses. She was tired of pain. She was going to die. And she was feeling guilty because of that. This must be it.
–Hikari, it's not your fault. It is nobody's fault. Things happen. Things just... just bloody happen. Huh. –he didn't want her to see him crying. He didn't want her to suffer more. He moved closer to her and hugged her, along with their baby. His family. His most precious people. This was so unfair.
–Hideo... It's not... not me... my... my... –but she wasn't allowed to finish the sentence. She coughed hardly, and blood came from her mouth. Baby Bunjiro screamed, as some spots of blood landed on him. Hideo held his wife and son tighter. –Hideo –she made it to say –Take care of... our little Bunjiro... be good... for him... COUGH!
–I promise I will, Hikari, I will. –said Hideo through tears. This was just too much for him.
–Hideo... Bunjiro... Hikari... love you... all –those were the last words Hikari Sakura said, before her vision turned black and her soul begun to leave the body. Nothing more hurt her. Nothing more scared her. There was nothing at all. She couldn't hear her husband yelling her name through tears. She couldn't hear her son crying. And she couldn't hear a silent cry of a child, that lived miles away. That child didn't know about Hikari's death. That child didn't know about Hideo and Bunjiro's grief. There wasn't much that child could know. But it surely knew one thing: Hikari was lost and will never return.