Mitchell's Mission by Cleo the Muse
Rating: Kids
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Abuse of metaphors. Not really anything else, as Mitchell watches his mouth.
Episodes: Missing scene "The Ties That Bind". Minor spoilers for "Heroes", "Into the Fire", and "Hathor".
Synopsis: Continues on in the fashion of the preceding "The Thief" and "The Archaeologist" series (plural). The bracelets are off, but Vala and 'her' Daniel are still connected. Poor Daniel!
Notes: Second posting, following FFnet's screw-up of the first... Finally decided how to proceed with the series, thanks to the inspiration of seeing Vala on SG-1's "Crusade". Yay!
Status: Completed as of March 05, 2006

Mitchell's Mission

"Perseverance is not a long race;
it is many short races one after another."
--Walter Elliot, The Spiritual Life

"So if 'my' SG-1 was the original band, what instrument did I play?"

Cameron Mitchell grinned. "Guitar, of course, sir," he replied.

"Not drums?"

"Nah, that'd have to be Teal'c. He's great at beating on stuff." In fact, it was terribly easy to imagine Teal'c pounding on a percussion set and casually tossing his drumsticks in the air when he was done.

"Hmm... good point," Jack O'Neill mused in agreement. "I suppose Daniel's the lead singer?"

"I was thinking of having him on keyboards, since he's such a multi-talented guy," Mitchell replied.

"Oh. No, that's Carter on the keyboards. She's always playing with her doohickeys, so I'd say a synthesizer is more her speed. Daniel's the one who does all the talking, he has to be lead singer."

"Right. General Hammond was the band manager?"

"As much a manager as we'd let him. Of course, the Tok'ra kept trying to get free concerts out of us, so we were glad to have him run interference for us." Mitchell laughed lightly, but the two-star general was on a roll. "Played gigs in some of the strangest places in the galaxy, and one or two outside of it. Some loved us, some hated us, but Carter and Daniel managed to pick up groupies pretty much everywhere we went. Did you ever hear about the people of PX-something-or-another, the ones who thought we were fertility gods 'cause we wore green?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read that mission report," the colonel agreed. I only crammed every report I could get my hands on while I was at the hospital. It had to have been in there somewhere, right?

"We swore after that to never let Daniel anywhere near another fertility goddess," the general finished.

"Was that before or after--"

"Nah, that red-headed witch was already a Hathor-sicle by then," O'Neill interrupted. "Apparently Isis was some sort of mother-goddess, too, but she was already dead when Danny found her, so that hardly counts. I gotta say, keeping him away from fertility goddesses has been a whole lot easier than keeping him alive, so--"

A carefully cleared throat interrupted him, causing the two officers to turn toward the tech sergeant who'd made the noise. "Excuse me, sirs, but the wormhole back to the SGC has now been open for five minutes. General Landry said to tell you that the electricity bill is high enough as it is."

"Ah, nuts," O'Neill sighed. "Well, back to work with us, Mitchell. For what it's worth, I think you'd make a pretty good guitarist."

Surprised, Mitchell watched in shocked silence as the general walked down the hall toward the Alpha Site 'Gate room. O'Neill had just passed through the door when Cam's brain finally engaged his feet and propelled him in the same direction. He caught up to the older man at the base of the Stargate itself and the pair stepped through together.

They were met at the bottom of the SGC's ramp by an enigmatically smiling General Landry. They'd had a chance to shower and change out of their flightsuits before returning, giving no clue as to what reason they'd had for haring off to the Alpha Site, yet Landry's expression seemed to indicate he had a good idea why they'd gone there.

"Enjoy your joy-ride, Jack?" he asked, proving Cameron's theory correct. Does anything get past this guy?

"Yes," O'Neill answered. "First time I've been up in one of those things for a while."

"Me too, sir," Cam piped up. "First time in a while... well, and had a good time, too. Sir."

"Right," Landry replied in his typical dry manner. "Well, Jack, the President's been looking for you. Something about a meeting with the Joint Chiefs--"

"Oi," the taller man moaned sighed, closing eyes. "Have Prometheus beam me back to the Pentagon, then."

"They're already standing by."

"Oooo-kay. Well, guess I'll be seeing you boys later, then. Don't have too much fun without me."

Landry gave a little huff of laughter. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Sure." O'Neill accepted his locator beacon and hat from a helpful airman. "You know, Mitchell, I happen to know of a good singer who just got his solo tour cancelled. You might want to check with him."

Cam grinned. "I'll be sure to do that, sir."

After O'Neill had beamed away, Landry shook his head. "Dare I even ask what that was all about?"

"Just discussing the status of the band, sir," the colonel answered.

"You don't give up, do you, Mitchell?"

"No, sir. People who give up don't get anything done."

"How terribly profound," Landry snorted. "Isolation labs."

SG-15 had just arrived in the 'Gate room for their scheduled departure, so Cam thanked the general and stepped into the hall. Although a glance at his watch revealed it was just past eight o'clock, he wasn't at all surprised Daniel Jackson was still on-base, messing around with the stuff brought back from Avalon. The archaeologist's penchant for working late hours was just as famous as his many brushes--and occasional out-right collisions--with death.

Climbing the stairs to the storage and isolation level, Cam flagged down a scientist who looked to be going out for the evening. When the woman indicated Daniel had gone to Doctor Lee's office to pick up an analysis of one of the artifacts, he thanked her and headed toward the nearest elevator. The doors opened just as he got there and Daniel walked out, already perusing the documents in his hands.

"Jackson!" Cam called, pulling up beside him. Unable to resist, he asked, "Where's the girlfriend?"

"She left about an hour ago," Daniel answered, not rising to the bait.

Intentionally provoking the scientist probably wasn't the best way to convince him to rejoin SG-1, but Mitchell couldn't help himself. "Man, I missed the going away party? I hope you saved me a piece of cake."

"Now that she's gone I can finally get some work done around here."

"Yeah, about that... the whole SG-1 thing? You never gave me an answer." And here comes the reaction, he mentally grinned as Daniel stopped in the doorway of one of the labs. "What do you say we make it official?" The reaction he got was not at all what he expected. The archaeologist swayed, grabbed for the doorframe, and would have hit the ground hard if Cam hadn't caught him enough to ease his descent.

Doctor Lam arrived with a nurse and two orderlies only a few minutes after he'd called for a medical team. "What happened?" she demanded, and for a brief moment Cam was taken aback by how fierce the short woman was.

"He just fell over. No warning or anything, he just collapsed," he explained.

"Pulse is erratic and respiration is a little low. Has he eaten recently?"

"Two hours ago!"

Carolyn dug her penlight out of her pocket and checked for pupil response. "And how long has it been since Vala left?"

"About an hour. You don't think those bracelets have anything to do with this, do you? I mean, Vala took 'em off of them a couple of hours ago."

The CMO motioned for the orderlies to load the unconscious man on the gurney, giving the nurse instructions to start an IV. As she clipped the light onto her lab coat, she turned back to Cameron. "His symptoms are strikingly similar, Colonel, and while I'm not going to rule out the possibility that there's something else going on here, I highly suggest you go to whatever planet Vala left for and bring her back as quickly as possible." Turning on heel, she followed the medical team back to the elevator.

Well, now I know how Doctor Fraiser got her nickname 'the little dictator', Cam marveled to himself, before shaking his head to clear the errant thought and racing to the stairwell. Two flights of stairs brought him to a corridor not far from General Landry's office. The door was open, but he just barely hesitated before charging into the room.

"Come in," Landry commented dryly, looking up from one of the many stacks of paper covering his desk. "In a hurry, Mitchell?"

"Yes sir," Cam managed, resting his hands on his knees briefly as he regained his breath. "Sir, Jackson just collapsed in the hallway. Permission to--"

"Permission granted. Walter!"

The white-haired sergeant popped around the doorframe. "Sir?"

"Get SG-13 to the 'Gate room ASAP."

"Yes, sir," Harriman answered and disappeared toward the control room.

"I knew that woman was trouble the moment she stepped through the 'Gate." Landry looked up. "What are you still doing here? Gear up and get to the 'Gate room!"

"Thank you, sir!"

Grateful he'd chosen to wear green BDUs that morning, Cam raced to the locker room and armory, making it back to the 'Gate room in just under five minutes. Colonel Dixon and the rest of SG-13--'butter bar' Lieutenant Clemson and Sergeants Bosworth and Wells--were already waiting, the other colonel giving the control room a nod as soon as he saw him arrive.

"The general hasn't briefed us, Mitchell. You wanna tell us what's going on?"

"We're going to retrieve Vala Mal Doran--"

"That alien whack job?"

"Jackson collapsed in the hall less than an hour after she left, and Dr. Lam's pretty certain the 'whack job' had something to do with it."

Immediately, all of SG-13 looked sober, exchanging with one another a weighted look. After the noise of the Stargate's activation had cleared, Wells said, "Anything for SG-1, sir."

"Amen to that," agreed Dixon, leading the way up the ramp.

On the other side of the wormhole, Cam glanced around at the scrubby terrain and well-worn path leading off into a tangle of growth. "You do realize he's not technically on SG-1 right now."

Dixon's eyebrows rose, but Wells answered first. "Of course he's not, sir. And Teal'c isn't a Jaffa, either."

Oh, yeah, even the other teams are rooting for me, Cam grinned. "Right. Let's go find our alien whack job."

"Find who?" asked a sultry voice. Wheeling about, they located Vala Mal Doran peering cautiously over a brush-covered boulder on the other side of the now-deactivated Stargate. "And where's my Daniel? Why didn't he come with you?" she pouted, standing and placing a hand on her hip.

"Jackson's currently out cold in the infirmary," Cam explained, stepping cautiously toward her but maintaining his ready grip on his weapon. "We're hoping you might have some idea of why."

"Well, it's certainly nothing I did," Vala protested, emerging from her hiding place.

"Then why were you waiting for us, ma'am?" asked Dixon.

She shrugged one shoulder. "I was waiting for Daniel to realize what a horrible mistake he'd made in letting me go and come here to profess his undying love and devotion--" Breaking off abruptly, she swayed and grabbed for the boulder. Recognizing the signs, Cam leapt forward and caught her before she could hit the ground.

"Looks like the doc was right," he muttered, checking the unconscious woman's pulse.

"How come I never have alien chicks swooning into my arms?" Bosworth asked.

"You're married," answered Dixon, Clemson, and Wells.

Author's Notes:

Yay! I'm back, after a great LOOOOONG hiatus. Boss had the kid and will be returning to work soon, so my workload should ease up a bit. I've already helped myself tremendously by a) quitting my part-time job to concentrate solely on the full-time one, and b) delaying my return to college until the Fall semester. No regrets here on either one.
As always, big thanks to Moon Catchin' for the transcript, Gateworld for the locations of the various labs, offices, and facilities of the SGC.
Lastly, check out my new blog! 360 dot yahoo dot com slash cleothemuse! (minus the exclamation mark, of course)