A/N: This is a really random one-shot I wrote when I was bored! You have to have watched the filler episodes of Naruto anime to understand it at all. I don't think these bits are actually in the manga... But probably episodes 150 onwards. I'm not too sure.
Tenten was pleased and had every reason to be. Her admirable friendship and stunning wheedling skills had once again done her proud. Upon finding out that Sakura's 'love', Sasuke, had left the village, she, and several other of Konoha's Kunoichi's, had rushed to comfort her. Ino, Hinata and herself, all with different levels of acquaintanceship between themselves and Sakura, had bonded together to help each other through the difficult stages of heartbreak. That was what women did in such situations, no, tragedies. They stuck together.
Sakura had made it through the crying stage with them, wrapped in her blankets on the couch. The depressed, track pants and messy hair stage was eased out with chocolate and bubble baths. Later, they teamed up again for the denial stage, closely followed by the aggressive realization. The next few days of that were spent demolishing training dummies and smashing entire collections of romantic movies and music, mainly her Sensei's. That period was ended as they laughed at Naruto, who took the blame. Even Hinata forced out a giggle for the greater good, as they watched Kakashi vent his frustration upon the blonde.
So far it had gone perfectly. They had only one more problem stage to unearth and remove. The 'I'm never going to go near a guy again because they are all pigs like Sasuke and I hate them all and I don't want to be hurt again because men don't know how I feel and are all stupid and hate me anyway but I don't care because I like being alone and want to become a hermit' stage aka 'N.G.N.G.A.B.P.S.H.T.W.H.B.M.K.F.S.H.M.A.D.C.BL.B.A.B.H.' The best tactic for this one was to set her up.
Ino had gone first and Shikamaru had helped only to stop her from nagging him. It had gone well...ish. Cloud gazing wasn't really Sakura's idea of fun. Shikamaru had fallen asleep so she didn't stay long.
Hinata had been able to persuade Kiba to go next but Sakura was allergic. Still they had had fun at the hospital when she fainted. At least it had been more exciting this time. But when it came down to an evening with Akamaru or a sit next to an unconscious female... Kiba had done the usual guy runner.
Now, Tenten had organized a date with Neji. She would have used Lee but he stopped breathing when she suggested it to him. That caused a few complications for him later. Her plan had worked perfectly as she had walked Sakura to meet Neji that night, and she had suffered from no allergic reactions. Neji wasn't well known for falling asleep in the middle of conversation either. They had seemed to have gotten along okay. It didn't need to be love, she just needed to have fun and she knew Neji would try his hardest to do as much. Why? Hm, well let's just say it involves a video camera and a BIG fluffy pink bear.
Now Tenten could only wait for Sakura to come back to her house to find out how the dinner date went. She would have to wait a few more hours at least. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door.
"Sakura?" She was crying. Perhaps it hadn't gone well.
"He..." Sakura began to sob again. Tenten took on her role as comforter and hugging post as she guided her inside.
"What happened? Does he need a bashing?" She was able to steer the poor girl onto the sofa.
"He ran away from me."
"WHAT! WHY?" Sakura shook her head."Tell me what happened during your date." Sakura hiccupped and blew her nose on Tenten's mother's coffee table doily. It didn't matter; she had never really liked it anyway.
"Well, we got to the restaurant and sat down. It was really pretty; you should have seen the upholstery!" Tenten gestured for her to continue. "Neji was nice and we talked. He seems a little on edge. Maybe family troubles or something?"
"Nothing to worry about. Continue please."
"So the waiter came over with the food which was two of the daily specials. I started chatting to him and when I looked up Neji was gone! I went outside and he was running away so I called out but he kept on going."
"I know! He didn't even pay!" Sakura gestured angrily with her empty purse.
"I am going to have to have a 'word' to him about this." Tenten began to pick up her weapons so she could leave. She took a kunai out of a pot plant. "Do you want to wait here?" Sakura nodded.
"Was it because I am annoying?"
"Of course not! Neji is just stupid!" She hacked at the pot plant in frustration. "He has the nicest, prettiest most un-annoying company in the world with him at a nice restaurant with a nice meal! I have no idea what was up with him! Maybe his bloody hair got mussed up!" She continued to mutilate the plant.
"Exactly!" Sakura was looking happier now "And the meal was delicious! I didn't know they made curry that tasty in Konoha!" Tenten stopped her brutal annihilation of the greenery.
"Ah...Sakura there is something I need to tell you about...Neji...and curry..."
Neji lay, twitching on the ground. He didn't remember his name, where he came from or why he had a girly hairstyle. All he knew was that 'It' was after him and he had to hide. Slowly he crawled under an old newspaper and smiled contentedly. 'It' wouldn't find him now.
A/N: Hm, strange I know. If you enjoyed it review please! Um, I will go back to writing 'Unfortunate Circumstances' now. At least that one is half decent...oh sorry, I'm meant to promote my own work. Yay! What a great story I have written! Yip! No, it just isn't working.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Neji's girly hair.