Outstretched Outstretched

My vision was so simple, painted in such blacks and whites
and touches, wild fantasies, perhaps stemming from my youth
a dream from a long-forgotten age; is it broken now?
Lying here in darkness - oh, such darkness! - I can still feel
your lips on mine, the warm intimate tenderness of velvet;
did you look back even once?

Shades of grey - I knew nothing on the endless shades of grey;
ambition touched me charcoal, and pity touched you pale...
In the end, we were of the same colour - oh, Gods, it hurts!
All my fault, my guilt, my pain; that is why I lie here now.
The Abyss will be my resting place, a cross above my corpse,
pitiful symbolism -
but tell me, please, did you look back even once?

Revered daughter - pah! Who could love the daughter
cold and wasted on this plain? Paladine forgive me - forgive my sins,
forgive his, forgive ours all - all committed together.
My life is bleeding swiftly out upon forsaken earth, and I fear
that I have not much longer... at least this is an end,
to the torturous last days beneath his eyes...
please, my God, did he turn back?

(shamefully I wonder if - if I had told him
how his voice made my heart go trembling
how he made me feel alive; how he made one touch go soaring
into the nights that kept me cold - what a thing for one to feel
who has been sheltered all her life. If I had told -
would he have turned?)

In the oppression of this moment I remember your touch
Torchflame-hot and melting - should I be praying? Shamefully
all I remember is rose petals, and black velvet, and your voice;
coolly sardonic, slipping cut and glassy from your lips.
My God, I fail, his name will be the last on mine; Raistlin,
forgive me, Raistlin, forgive -

(...please turn back.)