TITLE: Two Vampires Walk into a Bar

STATUS: Complete.

TYPE: Prose – Fanfiction (Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel the Series)

SUMMARY: ((Spike/Angelus)) Challenge – tell everyone a joke.

WARNINGS: Blood and affection.

NOTES: Quote is from Thousand Cranes by Yasunari Kawabata.


Begin Scene


A vampire walks into a bar. He tells the bartender that he wants the house special. The bartender gives him a bloody mary. The vampire says, "What the bloody hell is this shit?"

"It's the house special," replies the bartender, laughing.

The vampire takes one look at him, goes into game face, and rips his throat out. He then proceeds to decorate the bar with the blood and entrails of the few patrons who decided to stay.

The vampire stops and takes a moment to inspect his handiwork. "Well, that was…neat."

Another vampire enters the bar and places his arm around the first vampire's shoulders. He looks around and says, "In a masterpiece, there is nothing unclean."

The blonde vampire smirks. "Quoting Kawabata now, huh, Peaches?"

The dark vampire smiles and leads the blonde out of the bar to the awaiting black firebird. "I thought you were just going to get a drink."

The blonde turns, his eyebrow lifted. "Yeah. But I got bored."

- Do you get it?


End Scene


Kamp West