A/N. First up, housekeeping.
To those that have been following this story; apologies for abandoning the project at this location, as the fanfiction's main home is on Relic News, where I'm running the main reboot. I'll be trying to get this up to date and updating properly in between the other projects I have.
"In those days, during the manic last weeks of the Mothership's final construction, I wasn't aware of too much – only the pounding headache I had, and the training I had to do myself; because nobody would give it to me. I was the first Wirehead for our race, at least since we came to Kharak, and as such I had to find out for myself just what it meant. When they finally judged me able to deal with the Mothership's datafeed in full, it was like waking up out of a dream.
"The next six months – well, they are history, make no mistake about that. Everybody knows the stories, and the histories of the people who brought those of us who were sleeping across the galaxy; carving a trail of blood in their wake. To this place; Hiigara, our home.
"In every way, Hiigara is a better world. She is lush, and green, and abundant. We feel at home here; natural. We have a place in the galaxy; a place all our own.
"And yet sometimes, in the dead of night, or wandering the Gardens in my home, I think back, and feel, with all my heart, how much I would give to be only back in those days; with the hot sands of Kharak under my feet, and my father as he was before I left for the Mothership for the last time. I look back on the Homeworld War and know it was terrible, a bloody six months, initiated by a madman emperor.
"But I still can't help but look back on the people I knew then; the life I led – it was so much simpler; so much more purposed. We knew then what we had to do, and we just did it, and kept going, regardless of what happened. And I miss them. I miss them terribly.
"People call me a messiah, a saviour. They don't realise that it wasn't just me – people like Fleet Admiral Chiisur "Atma" Paktu, or Mai Somtaaw. People who may not have been that important to the grand scheme of things; but who did their jobs, and did them admirably. Even pilots, like Anna Somtaaw and Niirna Sorel had their place. Resource pilots, Scientists, you name it. We knew what was required of us then. I don't anymore.
"So you see, I'm not really a saviour; I'm just a tired old woman, who reminisces about a past long since gone. I have no family. I have no purpose, and, damn it, I hate feeling so useless. I hate being a pretty trophy for everyone to gawp at; a trinket with no real use."
Excerpt from "Homeworld", Karan S'jet-sa, this particular excerpt written around AHL83. -
"Homeworld" is a collection of memories, journals, logs and thoughts collected and penned by Fleet Command herself; Karan S'jet-sa, the woman who sacrificed potentially, her ability to live normally, and hardwired herself into the Core of the Mothership, using a somewhat crude form of the neural links we perform today; namely, laying open a nerve trunk directly, and 'plugging in' so to speak. The logs stretch from right before the ill-fated Maiden Voyage of the Mothership, to recent events, and her thoughts on them, with her own notes added and holographs that have never been seen before.
Karan led the Exile Fleet across the galaxy, leaving, as she wrote, "A Trail of Blood", behind her. She brought us back to Hiigara and gave us our place back in the galaxy. We have so much to thank her for; and yet, she hides from the limelight that is hers by all rights.
But is this actually the wrong thing to do? Perhaps we should let her be in peace, for she carries a terrible burden; that of the extremely long lived. She remembers things that even our older people struggle to remember from childhood. Our home is Hiigara, but I think, to The Lady; Kharak will always be her home.
I have met The Lady myself; when I approached her about publishing "Homeworld", and I have to say; she is nothing like the stories. She is beautiful, yes, alluring… Yes, and she doesn't look a day over twenty-five. But she carries a lot of wisdom; you can see it in her eyes. And she has a wit as sharp as a Kraak-beast's claw, if you'll mind the old fashioned saying. But she's still Hiigaran; and I think we forget that in our hero-worshipping.
Karan is a remarkable woman; yes. It is impossible not to be curious about her, and the 'official' stories are all blown out of proportion. "Homeworld" aims to reset that and show the truths. Both of the woman, of the war, and of the times gone by; the people she knew, the events that transpired.
However; "Homeworld" contains more than just logs and journals by Karan; but also logs and journals of people from the Mothership's crew that were deemed not important enough to be included in the main histories. Indeed; the opening chapter is not a log by Karan; but of a certain Anna Somtaaw – the pilot of a Blade II Class Interceptor. Karan felt it perfectly fitted the feelings of those around the Mothership at that time.
I will finish the description of this book with something Karan said during one of our meetings, that I pass on, with her blessing. I asked what she'd say to children in the Crèche about their ideas for future jobs. This was her response.
"I remember my father picking me up from Crèche when I was about nine years old – Kharakhian years, not Hiigaran, and he asked me what I'd done today. I told him that we were looking at possible job ideas, and what we wanted to do when we grew up. He asked me what I had said, and I, already being a somewhat prodigal child, merely said 'I want to drive spaceships like the big one in the sky!' I would say to the young ones to be careful what they wished for sometimes, because I got my wish. And it hasn't really worked as I thought it would. But I'd also tell them to do whatever feels right. Because as long as you know you made the right decision, it doesn't matter what came after; only that you did the right thing."
Eliirinth Naelori-Sorel; Historian and Publisher, 90AHL. This was the description for the book that he published for Karan S'jet, and also the main component of the speech he gave at the opening ceremony of the book's release.