A/N: I was only half-awake and half-sane when I wrote this. Scratch that. I don't think I had even a glimmer of sanity in me when I wrote this.
WARNING: AU. Contains mild GaaraxKankuro slash, incest. Don't like, don't read.
Disc.: Don't own Naruto; I just own my set of Naruto keychains.
Gaara looked up from his spot on the roof, his aqua eyes unblinking. It was a full moon tonight; his blood was beginning to rush. The doctors had told him…no, not him…they had told Temari, but he'd heard it anyways…they said he was crazy. He was an insomniac; if he ever slept, which was very rare, it was for a maximum of an hour. The voice, that voice…it kept him up all night long, threatening to devour him if he dared to sleep.
They said he had something called DID…the voice, Shukaku it called itself, was his 'alter'. Gaara didn't really know all the terms for his 'condition'; he just knew that it was the reason everyone hated him. His father, his siblings, his uncle…they all thought he was a monster. When Gaara was younger, he hadn't quite understood what was wrong with him; he thought he was normal. He looked normal, except for the dark, heavy rings around his eyes. Now, of course, he knew that he was a monster. Or at least, a part of him was.
Gaara had been pulled out of normal schools at a young age. He had been 6, just entering 1st grade. A kid, some boy, had made fun of him because he had carried his teddy bear to school. Gaara couldn't remember the rest, but he knew that the kid had gotten a broken nose and a black eye; his father was loath to remind him of it quite often.
After that, none of the kids would go near him if they could help it, and the parents were all afraid of him; they were all afraid that he'd hurt their children. He'd gotten a private tutor instead, someone who knew nothing about his condition. That had lasted for about a month, before Gaara had suddenly shifted into Shukaku. He had blacked out for the most part, but when he'd awoken, his father had been screaming at him. Gaara learned then just how dangerous he was; the tutor had stayed in the hospital for three months. Needless to say, he never came back.
Now he was basically taught by his brother and sister, Kankuro and Temari. They were afraid of him, of course, although Temari tried to act normal around him. She would even smile at him, occasionally. Kankuro was a different story, however. He didn't even try to act like he cared about Gaara. And for some reason, this hurt him a lot. The only relief that Gaara had was that his father was dead. He'd died in a car crash nearly a year ago. Temari was 18, so she continued to take care of him and Kankuro, who was 17. Gaara was only 15, so he had three years before he would be eligible to leave his home, if he was ever deemed fully sane. He was holding Temari down, he knew that; but that was just another way in which he was screwing up his 'family's' life.
Gaara felt his blood rushing to his head, and a strange feeling was entering his body. It happened every full moon; for some reason, Shukaku seemed to like the full moon. He always tried to get out the most on these nights, in any case. And at the moment, Gaara felt his mind leave him. He stood up on the flat roof and began spinning around, keeping his eyes on the moon as best he could. The dizzier he got, the faster he spun. Now he felt truly crazy.
"I HATE YOU!" He screamed at the moon. He heard the panicked sounds of footsteps from the floor below, but decided he was hearing things. Temari was at work, and Kankuro was probably at the theatre practicing with his marionettes. Gaara was alone.
"G-Gaara! What the hell are you doing!"
Surprise streaked through Gaara's mind, as he tried to process what he'd just heard. Again, he decided it was a voice, a voice that was there to taunt him and drive him even closer into madness.
"SHUT UP!" He screamed. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! Leave me alone! I hate you! I…hate…" And very suddenly Gaara lost his balance and stopped; everything around him, however, continued to spin. Gaara didn't register that he was falling until he was caught in two strong, shaking arms. Gaara closed his eyes as he felt the world continue to spin 'round and 'round. When he finally opened them again, he saw a face looming above his. It took him a moment to recognize who it was, but when he did, he felt mildly surprised.
It was Kankuro. Kankuro, without his face paint, without his black hoodie, with only a pair of jeans on. It wasn't a Kankuro that Gaara saw very often. And the expression on his face was one of fear and…concern?
"Jesus Christ Gaara, what the hell were you doing? Do you know how close you were to falling off the fucking roof?" Kankuro questioned, his harsh voice holding an undertone of the fear. Gaara tried to narrow his eyes, so that he could concentrate on translating his brother's expression (he couldn't believe it was concern; it had to be something else), but found that this only blurred his vision even more. Then he registered that he hadn't hit the floor; he had fallen, so he should've hit the floor.
"You…did you catch…me…?" Gaara asked. Kankuro blinked in confusion, and the concern (as Gaara decided it must be) on his face grew.
"Gaara…geez, are you alright? You can't be that out of it, can you?"
Gaara didn't answer. His mind was still whirling, and he was trying desperately to process this information. Kankuro was concerned about him; Kankuro had caught him, saved him from falling; the voice undoubtedly belonged to him as well. Gaara closed his eyes again, then opened them half-way. His vision was slightly better; he could make out a few sharp lines on his brother's face, at least. He raised his hand slowly towards Kankuro's face, brushing his fingers over his brother's unexpectedly soft lips. He saw red spread across the surprised face, and he remembered that red meant a blush.
"Gaara…?" Kankuro's voice was soft now, unlike before, and it held an air of questioning. Gaara didn't say anything for a few moments, feeling the heat of Kankuro's shallow breathing on his fingers.
"You…you hate me…right?"
Kankuro seemed surprised again. "Hate you? Gaara…you're my brother…sometimes you scare me…and sometimes I don't like you…but I don't ever hate you."
Gaara blinked, focusing on Kankuro's lips as he pressed his fingers a little harder into the tender flesh. "Do you mean that…?"
There was no hesitation in the answer. Gaara stopped moving his fingers and stared at Kankuro. He studied every feature he could identify, the blurriness fading a little more. "You caught me…" Then he moved his hand so that it was behind Kankuro's head, and pulled him down so that their lips met. He felt Kankuro flinch, but he didn't resist the movement. The feel of Kankuro's soft, yet dry lips on his own was a new, strange sensation, one that sent small shockwaves throughout Gaara's body.
He knew that what he was doing was bad. Incest was both illegal and immoral; perverted. But Gaara couldn't feel anything other than the simple touch, and didn't really care that what he was doing was considered disgusting. He was already a monster anyways; besides, it was just a kiss…
Gaara pulled back first, his eyes and mind almost completely back to normal. Almost. He saw a strange, glazed express in Kankuro's eyes, and wordlessly stood up, offering a hand to his older brother. The brunette broke out of his daze, slightly flushed, and took the proffered hand.
"Nii-san…I'm sorry," Gaara murmured. He was looking at the moon again, so he didn't see the change in Kankuro's expression when he said two things that Kankuro had almost never heard from the younger boy before.
"It's…fine…" Kankuro said quietly. Then, in a louder voice, he said, "Let's go inside." Gaara nodded and followed Kankuro into their house. His blood no longer rushed to his head, and he couldn't feel Shukaku's rebellious presence at the moment. He decided that this was all because of Kankuro, and because of it, he said another thing that he almost never said.