Nothing Will Ever Change That
A/N- This is my first fanfic, and I hope it is good. I will be the first to admit that each chapter is not that long, but expect many of them, so please don't make a comment on it.
Disclaimer- I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of the characters. I do, however, own the characters that I introduce into the NGE storyline.
"I grew up with nobody, and I always will, that's how it's supposed to be," I talk to myself in the dark room. I just woke up from a dream, soaked in sweat. I have been having this dream lately about my mother, well, what memories were left of her. I just roll over and try to get some sleep, unable to do so. I just reflect on the past few years, all the angels, all the changes. I still remember my first fight with the third angel, Sachiel. I didn't even know how to pilot those giant things, and I was, by some miracle, able to beat it. I also meet Rei on that day. A quiet, peaceful and well-kept young woman. She never said more than a conversations worth of words to me, but it felt as if I knew her for quite awhile.
Images of the fourth angel, Shamshel crossed my mind. It appeared just days after the third. It floated across the city like it was nothing. I had almost died on that battle, but Rei saved my life. Within a few minutes, both me and Rei beat it. That was the first time I actually saw the real Rei. She was, in reality, a strong willed fighter just trying to keep out the pain of any kind of relationship.
Two days later, the fifth showed up, Ramiel. Another example of Rei saving me. It was a large, floating cube with enormous powers. We had to attack it from a distance, so I was using a giant sniper. I missed the first shot, so Ramiel shot back. Rei jumped in front of the blast, allowing me time to reload. To this day, I don't know why she feels compelled to protect me.
Then, a week after Ramiel's appearance, I was scheduled to be sent on a war-ship to meet the second child, and the pilot of Unit 02. When I first met her, I hated her. She was a horrid German girl. That fiery red hair reflected her personality perfectly. This girl's name was Asuka Langley Souryu. Within the first few minutes, I was hit twice by her. One for seeing up her sundress when the wind came – like that was my fault – and one for… I don't even know. Then, out of nowhere, an angel was detected. The sixth was named Gaghiel, and looked like a large, white and flat whale. It swam like a sword-fish, despite its size. Asuka – against orders – entered her Eva and fought the monster with me inside the entry plug with her. Despite what I may have thought of her that day, I knew right away that she was VERY strong willed.
Asuka was to be living with me and Misato – the Major of NERV. That was HELL. I hated my life at that time. But soon, another angel was spotted, Israfel. At first, it was just a large monster much like the third, but when Asuka and I tried to attack it, the monster split into two more beings. We were forced to retreat, but so was Israfel due to heavy damage. Both me and Asuka had to go through sync training to get our fighting perfectly mirrored. We had to use what looked like a DDR pad to do this, and by the end of the week, we were perfectly matched. We even slept the exact same way. When we went up against the seventh again, we beat it easily. You would think that all that time together would make our relationship grow… WRONG! It only made me hate her all the more.
Many weeks later, another angel – the eighth – was detected in a volcano, still in a fetus state. Asuka was sent in a special suit and dropped directly into the magma to retrieve it to study. While she was trying to get it in a cage, it hatched, revealing Sandalphon. It actually swam through the magma like a fish. Asuka was able to make a small slit on its skin with a knife, causing it to literally melt. Asuka started to sink into the magma, now without power. She was saying her last prayers when I jumped in with my Eva – no shield – and saved her. "I owe you one," was all she said. I think that it was her way of thanking me.
A large power-outage days later caused all of NERV to fail, with me, Rei and Asuka on the other side of the city. As if God was laughing at our pain, he sent the ninth angel to rain havoc. Matariel was its name. From a lack of a better definition, it basically looked like a Daddy-Long-Legs but with only four legs. Not much power was shown, but enough to cause at least a thousand deaths. When we all got to our Evas, we were able to defeat it easily.
The next angel was amazing to say the least. It appeared to be lazy and powerful at the same time. It floated freely in space – as if not wanting to leave its creator. It's attacks were devastating, it would fire a projectile with the power of ten warheads with amazing accuracy. Sahaqiel was a large, orange monster with one eye in the middle of a satellite-looking body. All of us were forced to wait until it fell to Earth, there; I caught it while Rei and Asuka killed it.
None of us had anything to do with the eleventh angel, Ireul. It appeared to be a powerful virus that infected and destroyed any electronic devices, including the NERV computer, MAGI. The NERV technician – Dr. Ritsuko Akagi – was able to trick it into absorbing a counter-virus that made Ireul self-destruct.
The twelfth angel was one too remember for sure. Lelie was a large, black and white ball that was able to produce a shadow that – in theory – was a portal to another dimension. I was sucked into this place, and with my power only lasting an approximate five minutes, I was pretty much dead. Luckily for me, Einstein's theory was proven that day, the relative theory. Five minutes on Earth was about an hour in… that place. His theory said that depending on your distance form the sun, time would be different to people in different areas. A person about ten yards away from another person ten yards closer to an object will see any difference in the object 0.0000003 seconds later. So, in turn, I must have been far away from any source of light. Somehow though, I was able to break out of that place by killing Lelie… but don't ask me how. Misato just said that my Eva went crazy and broke out of the twelfth.
The next angel was actually one of my closest friends, Toji. He was chosen as the fourth child, and was to pilot Unit 03, but somehow the thirteenth angel, Bardiel, took over his body. I was forced by my father – who was commander of NERV – to almost kill him. Even though I didn't kill him, I made him lose both one of his arms and a leg. That is one of my many burdens that I will carry for the rest of my life.
After Bardiel, I chose never to pilot an Eva again. Big mistake. Because of my selfish choice, the two most important women in my life almost died. The fourteenth angel was called Zeruel, and actually looked like a normal Eva unit, but it's arms – which were short pieces of sheet metal – would unfold and strike an opponent, slicing them in half. Asuka tried to take on this monster by herself, but the arms of her Eva were torn off, with her feeling the effects. She charged at it, armless, and was decapitated. Her body was recovered and revived. Rei was pretty much the same thing. Yet another burden for me to haul around.
"Shinji… what is your problem?" I ask myself a pointless question. I slowly drift to sleep, hoping not wake up again.
"I'm really sick of this place…" moaned a NERV employee.
Misato was looking over the MAGI just for kicks. She decides to look into the angels. The definition of an angel – Misato read – is god's messenger for the apocalypse. Each angel, unique in looks and powers, shows another form humans might have taken in the evolutionary chain. There are sixteen angles. Humanity does have the option to fight back, and if by some miracle, we survive, we are granted the opportunity to live on.
We decided to fight back. With that, all continents began putting a majority of their money into research on a project called Evangelion. All choices made for, or will affect the Evas, are done by NERV, the main research group of ay angel related activity. These enormous creatures are formed from the first angel, Adam.
Misato started to read over the Evangelion's bios. Evangelion Unit 00 popped up on screen. It's single green eye stared at Misato. It's body was light blue. This was the prototype for all of the Evas. Misato read on – Height- 167 feet, 3 inches. Compatible weapons- SMG, Electro- Sniper, Progressive knife and 1,500mm. The pilot is Rei Ayanami. 14 years old. Japanese. She is the first child. Black hair, 5 feet, 3 inches.
Misato then looked at Evangelion Unit 01. It's two green eyes once again stared at Misato. It's body was a dark purple. This was the most prized of all the Evas. Misato read it's bio – Height- 189 feet, 11 inches. Compatible Weapons – All. The pilot is Shinji Ikari, Commander Ikari's son. He is also 14, Japanese, he is the third child. Brown hair, 5 feet, 6 inches.
Misato looked over the last Eva, Evangelion Unit 02. This was one of the more scary Evas in Misato's eyes. It had four, bright white eyes with a blood red body. Height- 180 feet and 7 inches. Compatible weapons- All. The pilot is Asuka Langley Souryu. She is also 14, German, she is the second child. Red hair, 5 feet, 4 inches.
Chapter 1: A Man's Cruelty
"So, what do you want for dinner?" I was so used to cooking, it was a habit to ask. Asuka was just walking out of the shower and drying off her hair.
"Whatever just don't poison me, Third!" Asuka always called me by my rank, never by name. I was used to it; I just brush it off at this point. Around this apartment, it's practically become my name.
"Alright, are burgers okay?" she just gives me a look from hell and I take that as a yes. Half-way done with making the half-pound burgers, Misato walks in after a day of work. She goes about her normal custom, chug a beer and wait for dinner.
"Aren't you done yet! I could have made them by now!" She always complaining about something. Most saw her as a demon spawn, but in a strange way, I was actually attracted to her. She was everything I wasn't; strong-willed, willing to fight, proud, and just plain strong. It was those exact traits that made me realize that I would never have a chance in hell with her. It's not like it really mattered, I was destined to be alone, and the path will continue to be the same.
"Then you can make them next time, how about that?" I didn't feel like being harassed after last night. We were in our room and Asuka felt that I was 'harassing' her. She was just getting out of the shower and – without knocking – walked into OUR room. Well I got a full view of her and she didn't like it… at all. Unfortunately, I should have bit my tongue, but I didn't. As she was ranting to Misato, I yell from my room 'Not that much to look at!'… that was wrong. She came charging at me and literally tackled me to the ground. Hell, I have a black eye to prove it.
"What did you just say to me! I'm sick of your attitude Third! You will respect me!" how was I supposed to respect a woman the insulted and hit me on a daily basis?
"Whatever. You still going to the party?" Trying to change the subject, I bring up the collage party tonight. If we just flash our NERV IDs, we'll get in. Misato obviously has no idea of this. She would kill the both of us if she found out, but I really can't see any harm in it, it's just a party.
"Don't ever talk back to me again Third! And yes, I am." Good, maybe I could get some time away from her. If I'm lucky, she'll get a boyfriend and I'll be set.
The Next Morning
"See ya Misato!" My voice rings throughout the house. I rarely left without Asuka, but after what happened last night, I'd rather not be around Misato. I really didn't want to leave Asuka, but I'm sure that she just wanted to be alone.
Last Night- Collage Party
The music is so loud that I can't even hear myself think. I'm able to see Toji flirting with Hikari. He says something and they walk off. The only reason we are here is because I flashed my NERV badge to get us all in.
"Asuka! Where are you?" I can't see her anywhere. We came here together, but we got separated. Nowhere to be found, I just grab a soda and wait.
"You son of a bitch! Get off!" I hear a girl's voice, obviously Asuka's, and I run to where it came from. I see her walk out of a room with tears in here eyes. I immediately notice that she has a bloody lip and eyebrow, along with a bruise on her left arm.
"Oh my God! Asuka! What happened?" Her clothes, which were a pair of denim short-shorts with a white t-shirt, were in shambles. The zipper on her shorts was partially undone, as was the button, and her shirt was torn across the right breast, clearly exposing her white bra. She simply points to the room she walked out of. I see a man standing there smiling. "You sick bastard!" I quickly run over to him and nail him in the nose. Now that he was on the ground, I go back to Asuka.
"H… he… tried to…" I cut her off.
"Let's go. I'll take you home and get you cleaned up." With no opposition, she accepts my hand and we walk out of the party.
As we walked, her position changed form holding my hand to clinging to my arm. She is still crying softly. I can see that she is really hurting, mentally and physically, so I do something that surprises even me. I embrace her in a tight hug.
"Mm!" a quick, harsh whine echoes from her throat, "Get… get off of me! Don't touch me!" She pushes away from me, and stumbles over her legs, thus falling to the ground.
"Asuka! Are you…" she cut me off.
"Just get away from me! Get the hint Third; nobody wants you around! Why can't you just leave!" those words hit like a ton of bricks. My heart literally hurt from the sudden realization.
"Because… I just refuse to die. You know that better then anyone. Look, whether you accept it or not, you need help right now. Now come on," I put out my hand, but she just gets up on her own.
"Whatever…" she just starts to walk as I follow close behind.
When we finally reach the apartment, I open the door and she slugs into her room. Whether she knew it or not, I was going to have to clean her wounds. I knew she was going to give some sort of resistance, but frankly, I didn't care. I head directly for the bathroom and get the first aid kit. When I get back to her room, I see that she has been moving around. I was about to say something, but what I saw stopped me. She was facing her closet, turned away from me… without a shirt on. She was changing out of her torn clothes and getting into some night-wear. I wasn't able to divert my eyes from her bare back. 'Don't stare, don't stare, don't stare' I kept on saying to myself. She slipped on a new, baggy shirt that went down to her knees.
She turns around to see me just standing there staring. I was expecting a harsh slap from her, but instead, she just turns back around and finishes getting changed. I couldn't believe it, she just un-does her shorts and drops them to the floor. Her night-shirt is covering her panties, but still! When Asuka was done getting changed, she goes to sit down on her bed. There was no way this was ever going to happen again, so I try not to sound too much like a wimp.
"S… sorry" Was all I could mutter. Yeah, that wasn't wimpy…
"Why did you do that?" She said in a voice barley above a whisper. She seemed to have calmed down a little during the walk here.
"I just walked in and you were…" She cut me off with a sharp yet flat comment.
"No. Not that. Back on the street. Why did you hug me?" How was I supposed to answer that?
"The hug? Oh… well… because I… wanted to comfort you. You seemed very hurt." That seemed like an okay answer… or not.
"Hurt? I seemed hurt? Of course I was, I still am! I just got raped and I seem hurt? Well thank you for you insight Third!" Good God. I just said the wrong thing. Seriously.
"Asuka, I'm sorry. It's just that… I do care about you, and I hate to see you like that." It was true. I'm sure that she would shun me for what I just said, but I didn't care.
"It happened so fast… I couldn't control it. That man just asked me if I wanted a drink, so I followed him. Once I was in his room he… he…." She stopped there. Nothing more said, I sit down next to her and hug her. Unlike last time, she actually embraces the hug. She doesn't push away, she didn't even show any sign of trying to escape. After a few seconds, I start to feel a wet spot form on my shoulder. Was she crying? I have never seen her cry, hell, I've never seen her sad. She just stayed there; face buried in my shoulder, and softly let the tears run from her eyes. I found it slightly surprising how softly she cried, not a sound was made, not even a quiver.
"Let it out, Asuka. I'm here." I little predictable, but it did seem to comfort her. She wasn't there for much longer, only about a minute. When she calms down, I get to work on her wounds. "Asuka… do you mind if I…" she cut me off.
"Just make it quick Third," I knew that it was a yes, but I was still hesitant about it. I just sucked it up and got to work. First, I clean up the cut on her eyebrow and put a band aid on it, that was the east part.. Then I look at her lip. Her lower lip had a cut on the right side of it. I thought twice before touching it, but it had to be cleaned. When I put some alcohol on it, she jumped a little, and I back off. She lets out a soft sigh as a sign for me to finish it, so I get back to work. When I was finishing, I noticed just how smooth her lips were. She obviously takes great pride in how she looks. The bleeding stopped on it's own after I was done, so there was no need for further care.
"Shinji… thank you" with that said, I smile and nod at her. When I get up, she grabs my wrist and holds on like her life depends on it.
"D… don't leave me. I… want you in here tonight" She asks with an almost begging voice. Wasn't this the same girl that was yelling at me for hugging her? now she wants me to sleep with her!
"But… Asuka… what if Misato comes in? She'll think we're…" I stop, I'm treading on dangerous ground, here.
"Let her. I just need the comfort of another person. God… listen to me, I sound like a baby," she still motions me to get in bed with her. Still, I hesitate. She lets go of me, and gets under the covers of her full-sized bed. She once again motions me to get in. I do, and lay down next to her. She swings her left arm around me, and soon falls asleep.
Around three in the morning, I still haven't gotten to sleep. My mind is too riddled with thought at what happened… what IS happening! I try to get up to get a glass of water, but when I do, she swings her bare leg around me. I just give up and try to get some sleep.
"Shin… ji…. don't… leave" she muttered in her sleep. Right before I fell asleep.
"Shinji. Shinji. Shinji!" I hear coming out of my short lived nap. I see Misato next to the bed whispering my name. Crap.
"Hi Misato" Stupid thing to say. Asuka is still asleep; I can feel her warm breath on the back of my neck. Here I am, in Asuka's bed with her not wearing any pants and her leg around me. Yeah… that doesn't look suspicious.
"'Hi Misato'? What the hell are you doing?" She whispers in a voice that would kill.
"I'll explain later, but we did NOT do what you think." I just thought that I should clear that up.
"Bullshit Shinji! Look at her face! She's smiling! Just please tell me you used protection. We can't afford to have her pregnant! God! I was supposed to look after you t…" I cut her off.
"We didn't do anything! I swear!" Asuka was smiling, she looked very cute, and she looked like she was having a wonderful dream.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow!" She then storms away and I fall asleep.
Misato's Apartment, 6:30 AM
I leave before she could answer. Half way to school, I see a half naked Asuka running towards me. She didn't change out of her clothes form last night.
"Asuka? What are you…" She cut me off by punching me hard in the face.
"What the FUCK is wrong with you! I asked you not to leave me! I woke up terrified this morning, and Misato wouldn't stop lecturing me about God knows what! She tried to stop me… and I… where did you go?" The last part sounded like she was really hurt.
"I was going to sch…" Once again, I was cut off.
"I can see that you asshole! I was raped last night and your going to school? I thought that you wanted to help me… and when I finally needed it…" She stopped.
"Asuka, I'm sorry. I didn't think about it." That comment was meet with a hard slap to the face. The sound of the contact of flesh made me shiver.
"You know what Third? Fuck you. I don't need you or anyone else. I've grown up alone and I will continue to do so. So from now on, just leave me alone and don't try to help me ever again!" With that, she ran off and didn't look back. I thought that I would just see her later on that day, so I just let it go and went to school.
"Shinji! What happened?" Toji is calling me from across the room. He must have been talking about us leaving at the party, I just hoped that he didn't see Asuka like that.
"Nothing. Drop it." And he did. I didn't talk for the rest of the day, but I couldn't keep her out of my mind. I've known her for more than a year now, but I've never seen her so mad, so hateful. I remember the first time we met back on the hangar at some air force base. When she was forced to move in with me and Misato, all the time spent together. It was worth all of the so-called torture.
A/N- There you go! My first chapter! What will happen to Asuka? When will he 15th angel appear? How will Asuka handle being raped? Find out in my next chapter, Not My Fault, hope you keep on keepin' on!