Chapter 37: (Yay, another stupid mission!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the other anime or games I'm takin this shit from.

Reviews: hmm.. ok well been awhile hehe.. lets see here..

Ok well thku to the info on Hatake Sakumo and about the Pikachu thing well... I'm random. Plain and simple I hold nothing back if I feel like typing it I do. Pikachu was going to be a human in the beginning but then I just figured what the hell and made him the rat.

Um. Oh right to the people who whine that I'm not staying in tune with the Naruto world.

Ok I'll justify myself and all the other ppl that put ps3's and x boxes in their fics.

Konoha, kohona hidden leaf, however you wanna say it is based on a hybrid universe. Some of it is traditional Japanese. They got the bamboo thing that fills with water then drops and the sliding doors and robes and karate gi's.

But they also have hospitals with a fairly advanced medical system. In addition to this during the land of the waves arc the bridge builders were using cranes and other advanced construction equipment. And the guy in the boat taking them to the docks shut the motor off so Gatou's men wouldn't hear them. Proving the existence of fossil fuel engines in the Naruto universe.

In the second movie the ships that attacked the sand village used guns.

During the chuunin exam the first time the examiners saw Gaara he was on a video tape. So now we have T.V. and VHS.

The First Naruto movie shows they have movie theaters and advanced camera light and action clappers with a modernized type way of making movies.

Heck, even their clothes are a mix of robes and sandals with t shirts and jackets.

But the kicker is one of the Naruto ending animations shows a pencil drawn animatic of Naruto in his room and one of the things he does after read manga is play a playstation.

Sooo.. all this to say to the people who bag on writers who put "modern stuff" in their stories.

Examples from the show and and manga seem to disagree with you. Do I take absurd liberties by making Jiraiya a west coast style rapper and inserting machine guns in the story?

Absolutely. However, it's also quite believable and possible if you stop looking at Naruto as a period style Japanese cartoon. It's not Ruroni Kenshin where its set in a specific time period before advancements.

The kind of hybrid freedom they give allows and author to take liberties. In closing I just wanted to point that out cause I never see people standing up and bringing these fact to the attention of the "you're putting modern crap that doesn't belong in the Narutoverse" flamers.

So now I have and to anyone that whines that I have guns and lowriders and fast food restraunts or video games in my story… well.. I think I've proven that while it's unusual and unlikely to exist in cannon, its not entirely unbelievable.

And now, on with the story..

Nawaki flashed through a set of seals and took a deep breath.

"Katon: Gokya Su no Jutsu!"

He let out a burst of flame from his mouth that came out in two twin barrels of flame shooting at the Blond teen in front of him. It didn't last long, however as Nawaki grabbed his throat and began running around in circles as the unscathed Naruto formed a sweat drop on the back of his head.

Nawaki pulled on his throat and began screaming "Water water!!"

Sudeenly Tsunade blurred in and dropped her fist on the top of his head sending him crashing to the floor. "Urusai no baka!"

Tsunade closed her eyes as a vein bulged on her forehead. "What kind of amateur burns his own throat with a fire jutsu! You have no talent at all!"

Naruto chuckled and tossed Nawaki a water bottle which the young boy snatched and gulped down before sighing and laying back down on the ground.

Nawaki smiled and looked into the sky focusing on the clouds.

"Ne Tsunade nee-chan.."

Tsunade opened one eye and looked quizzically at him.

Nawaki grinned looking at the clouds. "You think grandapa's up there watching?"

Tsunade looked up and gave a small smile. "Yeah, I think so.."

Naruto flopped down beside Nawaki and folded his hands behind him. "Y'no it's a nice day out today.." "See that cloud there.. it looks kinda like a bird.."

Nawaki nodded. "Yea, that one almost looks like a kunai."

Naruto scrunched up his nose "Meh that's one twisted kunai."

They laughed as Tsunade pointed to a cloud moving over to the west.

"I think that one looks like a slug."

Naruto chuckled. "Hehe you're the Princess of slugs, maybe you should subjugate it."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Subjugate huh?"

She tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear before floating into the air and chasing after the cloud.

"Nawaki pouted. "Oiy Naruto O nii-san.. when are you going to teach me how to fly?"

Naruto chuckled. "Hmm.. how's right now sound?"

Nawaki bolted up. "Really!?'

Naruto shugged. "Sure just jump off your roof and flap your arms."

Nawaki dropped his happy expression and narrowed his eyes. "Naruto niiii-san I wanna learn to fly.. for real teach me!"

Naruto stretched his arms out lazily yawning. "Nah… you're still a little young to be learning stuff like that. Keep working on your chakra control at the academy and when you're ready I'll give you a few pointers."

A voice rang out from above. "Oiy Naruto-kun!"

Tsunade stood on the invisible floor of air seeming to float on the cloud overhead. She grinned throwing up a victory sign. "I subjugated it."

Naruto raised an eyebrow and grinned.

Suddenly he was behind Tsunade before she even saw him move from his laying position. His arms wrapped around her slim waist and he nuzzled her neck gently whispering in her ear.

"I subjugated the princess of slugs."

"Mmm.." Tsunade purred. "It seems so.. what are you planning on doing with her?"

Naruto looked thoughtful and nibbled on her lower earlobe a bit removing her dangling earring with his tongue. "Hmm.." he murmured.

Tsunade gasped. "U-umm.. Naruto-kun.. losing concentration can't.. stay floating.."

Naruto caught her weight and wrapped an arm under her long legs carrying her bridal style.

He suddenly looked inspired.

"Ah I got it! I know what I'll do." Tsunade leaned her head back and looked at him curiously. Naruto slowly floated forward and then he gave her his trademark fox grin.

And dropped.

Tsunade widened her eyes and wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck tightly.

"Eeek!!" she shrieked as they dropped like a stone from 34 feet in the air.

Nawaki jumped up and ran with all his speed to try to make it to them before they hit the ground and widened his eyes as he saw Naruto's target. "Noo!!"

Too late. The two bodies smashed into the gigantic pile of leaves scattering them everywhere.

Nawaki sighed. "Aww man.. now I gotta do it all over again.."

Naruto surfaced from the pile of leaves poking his head out until he felt a poke on his shoulder. He truned around just in time to be splashed with a wave of leaves Tsunade had pushed at him.

She flashed through 3 seals in under a second and popped under the leaves appearing behind Nawaki and sticking her tongue out playfully. She felt a solid object behind her and smiled as the Naruto she's splashed with leaves fell in a humanoid shape of leaves as well.

Nawaki dropped his jaw. "Wow a substitution jutsu.. I din't even see him move!"

Tsunade dropped her head back onto her boyfriends shoulder. "Mhmm.. Naruto-kun is the best."

Just then a call was heard from inside the house.

Nawaki paled. "Oh shit mom's coming and the leaf pile is all over the place.. oh we're so dead.."

Tsunade shifted her weight forward and turned to look at the front door.

Naruto flashed through 5 seals instantly and said:

"Fuiton: Wind affinity Dispersement."

Instantly the leaves in the entire yard were caught in powerful gust of wind that blew them into the air collecting in a large compacted ball of leaves overhead.

Naruto then blew out a small stream of fire and incinerated the leaves without even making a hand sign.

Just then Nawaki and Tsunade's mother came out ready to yell about getting the leaves up. When she came out, however, not a single leaf was left on the ground.

Shen blinked a few times then smiled. "Well.. good job you two. Wow I'm impressed." Nawaki snuck a look at Naruto who grinned and gave him a wink.

He nodded. "Yeah Nawaki and Tsunade-chan really cleaned up today.. hehe."

Their mother nodded. "Yes I see.. thank you.. see you can get your chores done in a decent amount of time if you really try." She turned and walked back into the house.

Naruto gave a thumbs up as Nawaki looked around at the immaculate yard. "Oiy! If you coulda done that in the first place why did you just stand there watching me!"

Naruto chuckled. "Well, cause a certain someone wanted to jump in my face and challenge me to a fight as soon as he saw me."

Nawaki pouted. "well I don't care.. I have to surpass you.. The Hokage is the strongest ninja in the village and I'm definitely going to become Hokage!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Hokage huh? Hmm.. I don't think someone like you can become hokage.." Naruto said closing his eyes and waving his hand dismissively.

"What!" Nawaki roared out. "I'll show you, I'll definitely become Hokage!"

And." He continued. "When I do, even you'll have to kiss my ass Naruto nii-san!"

Naruto broke out laughing. "Whatever you say squirt!"

Tsunade reached up to place a strand of her hair back behind her ear and felt her earring jingle.

"N-nani.. when did you put it back.. I felt you take it off when you er.." she broke off blushing thinking about him gently chewing her ear.

Nawaki scrunched up his face and folded his arms on his chest. "Oiy Naruto nii-san Tsunade no baka is bleeding.."

Tsuande reached up in horror to her nose and merely changed to a deeper shade of crimson.

Naruto looked at her innocently. "Ne Tsunade-chan I dunno what you're talking about.."

Nawaki finally closed his eyes and sighed. "Meh old people are weird."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes and a vein bulged out on her forehead once again.

Nawaki suddenly became aware of the massive killing intent radiating from his sister. He gulped.

Tsunade clammed her fist into her open palm and sweetly asked. "Oiy Nawaki.. who's old?"

Nawaki began to shake in terror "Eh.. um… the old man Hokage.. yeah he's uh ancient hehe.."

Tsunade smiled and her terrifying aura seemed to die down. She patted her little brother on the head and told him good answer before gently flicking his forehead with the tip of her fingernail sending him sailing across the yard.

Naruto merely chuckled, a small sweatdrop forming on the back of his head.


The elite Jounin guard rushed to the top of the steps to enter the official chambers. "Oiy! is he all right, what's going on!"

The personal ANBU guards arrived at the scene and slowly crept toward the door motioning to the Jounin to be cautions.

Suddenly a gust of wind blew through the smoke coming from beneath the closed door. Two figures exploded forward and skid to a stop staring at the door.

"Smoke! Is the office on fire!?"

Before the ANBU could answer the female smashed through the door letting a huge cloud of smoke billow out before it was blown away with a wind jutsu.

The male jumped up and pulled a wrapped object in front of him looking around frantically.

"Gaara! Are you all right!?" Suddenly Temari dropped her fan looking confused at the figure sitting at the desk slumped in his seat.

"Gaara had a lopsided grin on. "huh.. kanku.. kanuk.. kan.. whatever the hell yo name is..Aaaayyy waaaassum my nizzle!"

Kankuro dropped Karasu instantly as his jaw hit the floor. "G-garra.. what the helll!"

Gaara laughed reaching for a long cylindrical object laying on the floor near his desk. "Deeeeaam homie chill doe.. what you gon'n be bringin that negative energy all up in my positive.. you feel me.."

Gaara put the mouthpiece to his lips and sucked up as the water boiled at bottom.

Temari was speechless.

Gaara laughed almost falling out of his seat. "Well since you here you gotta try this shit.. premium grade up in this beeya gni-mean."

Kankuro shook out of his stupor. "Garra.. what's wrong with you what the hell is that.. some kind of mind poison!"

Gaara coughed a bit as he put it down.. he turned to look at Kankuro but stopped halfway though turning as though he saw some invisible object in the middle of his room.

Gaara widened his eyes and threw up an east coast sign with his fingers. "Aaahaayy… wass hapnin lil man.. how you get up in here.. you must be like a ninja midget or something.."

Gaara continued chatting with the leprechaun only he could see as Temari managed to snatch away the bong.

Gaara didn't seem to notice as he was too busy chatting with the invisible woodland creature.

Kankuro couldn't hold it in any more. he burst out laughing dropping to the floor.

Temari shook her head in rage. "What kind of sick little cretin would give Gaara something like this!"



Jiraiya brushed his nose with his pointer finger. "Hah" he grinned. "look like I'm on somebody's mind.."

Trey shrugged as he slowly eased the equalizer sliders up muttering "I bet it was a guy."

Jiraiya picked a cushion from the mini couch near his seat and tossed at it at Tray's head. "Yeah you reaaaal funny.. I'm a ninja .. I can hear you."

He twisted in the spinning chair back to the production program. "Man once we master this copy I'm just gon submit it to radio play.. this editing shit bites."

Trey chuckled. "Yeah but which one you goin with you got like 5 stations want you."

Jiraiya grinned and tossed a foam basketball at the plastic goal on the wall scoring a smooth basket. . "Shit, what can I say.. I'm hot. Aight, let's try this shit one more time."

Trey laughed. "Man. Tighten up jit."

Jiraiya just hopped out of his chair and slipped on the headphones before walking back into the recording booth.


A young blonde woman walked trough the small narrow passage of the cave with only a torch here or there as her light. Not that she needed even that. She'd long since memorized the passage to the central base.

A red haired girl sat slumped in a chair behind a desk her head down gazing dispassionately at a book. As the blonde approached the girl said "Morning Rikku" without ever looking up from her book.

Rikku smirked and lightly bowed. "Good morning Tayuya-san" as Rikku continued in she saw the gates to the civilian sector and next to it was the military entrance.

Rikku was tempted to just go into the civilian and enjoy a nice day off but Itachi-sama had requested her personally. She sighed.. "What a shame.. I could use a nice dip in the hot springs too."

She turned and headed under the metal arch dispelling the force field and gen-jutsu blocking the entrance simultaneously. Rikku moved down the marble steps her black cloak floating lightly behind her. The bright red clouds outlined in white seemed to dance across the smooth material. As she reached the entrance to the large chamber she caught sight of slight of movement and turned her head to follow Kisame and Hidan exiting as they made their way to the training facility.

Rikku sighed and pushed open the large steel doors before walking in. She took 5 steps into the total darkness and stopped, dropping her head as a sign of respect.

In a few moments Itachi spoke. "Rikku."

Rikku lifted her head "Yes leader."

Itachi spoke again. "I have a mission for you, there have been recent reports that a jurinkiichi has been spotted within a prison in the fuuma district.. you will go with Sasori to obtain the vessel of the four tailed bijuu before the scheduled execution."

Rikku nodded and her eyes shifted to the left.

A voice came from the dark to her right chuckling softly. "Not quite were able to sense my entrance but not the exact location it seems."

Itachi's crimson eyes were the only thing visible in the total darkness of the room. "You are dismissed you may leave when you feel you're preparations have been completed."

Rikku and Sasori nodded and stood simultaneously.

As they left Itachi couldn't help but sigh before muttering. "Hmm.. sending those two on a mission together.. I wonder if anything will really get done." "In any case, they should have no problem securing the 4 tailed.. assuming they can keep their focus on the mission and not each other."

He truned his head to the side as Kabuto approached. "Itachi-sama the preparations have been completed.. I have to ask though sir.. shouldn't we be a bit more discreet in the operation?"

Itachi closed his eyes and smirked. "Your concern is noted Kabuto. However, I assure you, everything is going according to plan.


Naruto gripped his controller tightly. "Oiy. Orochimaru I'm coming for you!" the pale faced genin narrowed his eyes and moved his characters back against a wall of the canyon. He chuckled. "Ah it seems I found a stealth ball."

Naruto curved his lips in a pout before stealing a glance at Orochimaru's screen. "Ahah so that's where you are.. gotya."

Sarutobi was nearly dead. "Mizukag- er Zabuza give me a chance to let my shield recharge."

Zabuza had a maniacal grin on his face. "Hah mercy is for the weak. Die!"

Sasrutobi dropped lifeless to the ground as gold letters shot up above Zabuza's head saying killing spree!

Suddenly he dropped dead to the ground. "N-nani!"

Haku smiled gingerly holding his controller. "It seems I got you Zabuza-sama hehe." The dangerous man turned to his subordinate. "Haku…."

Suddenly Jiraiya dropped to the ground as well as Kayaku who he'd almost killed.

Jiraiya turned to look at Haku sitting politely on his futon. The white haired frog master growled. "Oiy, Haku stop sniping like a little wuss!"

Haku chuckled. "Ah but Jiraiya-san long distance is my specialty so.."

Kayaku interrupted. "Bah cut the crap.. Halo is about running out and meeting the opponent head on and gunning his ass down in a blaze of bullets and plasma right guys!"

"Yeah!" they all shouted in agreement.

Naruto grinned and shot a rocket at a set of trees blowing Haku out of his hiding place.

The feminine boy shrugged. "Well I guess ill have to respawn now."

Sarutobi recharged his shields after blasting Zabuza with a shot gun in the back of the head and found the sniper rifle. "Not with this you wont."

Jiaraiya chuckled evily. "Oiy, if you're wondering where I am I'm the guy in the tank coming to run you over or blow you to hell in one shot."

Naruto got on a banshee and started pelting Jiraiya with plasma bolts zipping around his counter fire. Jiraiya finally gave up on trying to hit him and instead focused his attention on Haku walking in front of him.

He grinned maniacally. "Oh he's mine!" Jiraiya pushed his tank forward and Haku finally realized he was about to get run over. He attempted to jump out of the way but only managed to evade a bit of the charge. Before his shields could recharge Jiraiya twisted the 9 pound cannon around and blasted him point blank killing him.

Jiraiya then hopped out of the tank and ran away just as it exploded. "Nicve try, Sarutobi but I read underneath the underneath." Just then he exploded and dropped to the ground lifeless. "n-nani!"

Orochimaru bowed slightly. "I attached a plasma grenade to you as you were exiting the tank. As a shinobi you must read underneath the underneath beneath the underneath"

Kayaku looked at Orochimaru and scratched his head. "Um. dude.. what the hell are you talking about.."

Orochimaru sighed. "Itelligence is a terrible thing.. it makes communication nearly impossible."

Naruto laughed. "In Halo only one language is understood everywhere!" Zabuza shouted "Yeah.. the language of the gun now die!"

Orochimaru was shot in nearly 4 different direction all at once. But just as he was about to die he blew up killing Naruto, Zabuza, Jiraiya, and Kayaku and giving him a Killing spree."

Sarutobi laughed so hard he fell off the couch. Ayako came behind him and chuckled. "He held a plasma grenade so when they got close it would take them out too nice."

Naruto was speechless. Finally he closed his mouth and screamed out "N-nani… that's… cheating!"

Orochimaru laughed and stuck his tongue out pulling the lower corner of his right eye down. "Nope that's strategy."

Zabuza growled. "I'll show you strategy.." He got the tactical shotgun and went through the green portal appearing at the other side of the field on a mission to find Orochimaru.

Naruto meanwhile took the one hit kill wristblade and lunged out instantly killing Sarutobi. Jiraiya came behind him and used the gun that charges up to full before completely draining shields then the assault rifle to finish off his health.

Naruto jumped up to avoid the final blast and lunged out killing Jiraiya and leaving him with only one shot of health left. Haku shot him with a bazooka.

Ayako took a sat in her husbands lap watching the match unfold. Sarutobi tried to see around her and return fire from Kayaku coming up on him. Kayaku pulled back and began jumping up and down while his shields recharged.

Sarutobi grit his teeth. "Hey.. that's bullshit! Stop jumping around." Kayaku had fully recharged his shields by now so he pulled out the battle rifle and rolled to the side aiming at Sarutobi's head.

Sarutobi had wasted all his ammo trying to hit Kayaku while he was jumping so he had to switch weapons. Before he could get the pistol out Kayaku hammered him down.

Naruto roared by on a banshee and blasted Kayaku in the back dropping him as well.

Naruto fell off his Banshee and dropped lifeless to the ground as Haku once again scored a killing spree. Naruto turned to glare at the ice user and pouted. "More sniping.."

Naruto suddenly came out of the kitchen with a steaming hot bowl of Rmen and looked at the screen before throwing a pillow at the Naruto holding the controller.

He rolled his eyes. "Oiy! I told you to kill them not get me killed.. what I can't even grab a snack from the kitchen without you getting me shot?!"

The clone sitting on the floor poofed into smoke and Naruto slid off the couch to pick up his controller with one hand while slurping noodles and shoveling them into his mouth with the other.

Jiriaya blinked a few times. "Damn when did you make a clone.."

Sarutobi motioned with his head to the back. "About the time Zabuza went after Orochimaru with the shotgun."

Suddenly a knocking at the door casued Ayako to hop out of Sarutobi's lap. "I'll get it" she said nonchalantly.

A few minutes later Ayako called out. "Sarutobi, game's called Hokage-sama needs team 5. Sarutobi grimaced. "Ah.. come on.. just as I got my first killing spree.. ah All right team let's go."

Zabuza and Haku along with Kayaku sat back and stretched. Kayaku checked his watch. "Yeah we better be heading out too. I'm sure I got a desk full of reports to go through.."

Zabuza laughed. "Hah I don't deal with that shit I just have my secretary handle it!"

Haku chuckled. "Ano.. Zabuza-sama perhaps you shouldn't push Miziru-san co hard." Zabuza turned to his effeminate partner and Haku shut up.

With that they left. And team 5 went to find Tsunade.


A giant sweat drop fell down the back of Naruto's head. "A survival test.. that's the mission."

Nidaime smiled. "Yes, you will each be paired up with a set of academy students and act as team leaders in this survival mission."

Naruto smiled closing his eyes. "oh, Sou deska."

Suddenly he opened them wide and pointed a finger at the Nidaime. "Absolutely no freaking way!! Hell no, not gonna happen!! Why does a great ninja like get stuck with a stupid babysitting mission dattebayo!!"

Sarutobi sighed. "I saw this coming." He muttered.

Nidaime shook his head a visible vein popping on his forehead. "Naruto.. the teams have already been announced at the academy."

Naruto shook his head. " I don't care dattebayo! No matter what you say I refuse.. It's a travesty! I'm a S class apparition I have the power to destroy the entire planet by sneezing! A mission like this is a waste of my talent.. I have to train and get stronger! I don't have time to baby sit some kids in a walk through grandma's forest!"

A Jounin stepped forward. "Baka! If you're so powerful what do you need to train for!"

Tsunade put her fist up. "Oiy you old hag don't call Naruto-kun an idiot! He's just pissed we have to do such a pointless mission.. and I for one agree. It's stupid!"

Nidaime tried to force his anger down before it came out in the form of a tsunami wrecking his office.

"All right listen all of you! The mission has been decided. As shinobi there will inevitably come mission that you will not want to do or consider pointless.. but you will have to learn to do them anyway.. that is what it truly means to be a shinobi."

He closed his eyes and smirked. "As for you 'Kyuubi-sama'.. since you are sooo powerful we can't force you to take part on the mission."

Naruto smirked and turned around to walk out waving his hand. "Well then I'll be training."

Nidaime widened his smirk. "However, there will be a special bonus to the first one to complete this mission.. a 3 days pass to Pura Pura land."

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks. "P-pura Pura..."

He backpedaled so fast that smoke shot up off the floor.

He grinned and put his hand behind his head, "Ahah.. hehe I was just testing you old man.. to see if you'd see past my um.. deception.. I really love kids.. I do, love em.. dattebayo!"

The Nidaime turned away from Naruto and looked over his shoulder throwing a V sign up with his fingers. "I win."

He cleared his throat. "Ahem.. well then if that's all then we will commence with the teams. Please locate the academy students on the list assigned to your name. when you have assembled report to the front yard of the academy for the full mission briefing."

Naruto gripped the sheet of paper and jumped out the window in search of his kids.

The assembled Genin all had sweat drops on the back of their heads. Jiraiya shook his head, "man, Naruto's cool and all but that was just embarrassing.."

Tsunade was blushing.. ahem.. yeah kinda."

Orochimaru was struggling not to crack up laughing as they went forward to get their papers and head down the stairs.

5 minutes later Naruto stood in front of a thing. He couldn't tell if it was a guy or a girl. It was bald. It did have the softer curves of a girl but at the same time it wore a sneer and had on brown shorts and a grey sweatshirt with blue ninja shoes. Then there was the other two. At least they were semi normal. A boy with long messy brown hair and what appeared to be the pupiless eyes of the Hyuuga. Then there was a girl with pink pig tails who wore a frilly pink dress. She didn't look like much of a ninja but appearances could be deceiving.

Finally the academy instructor appeared. Naruto recognized her from the mission near Christmas.

She looked out over all the assembled genin and students. "All right" she said. "listen up, this is the mission. The purpose of this exercise is to test out the results of the new training methods instituted this past year." "In addition to this we will test how the genin of the previous class measure up to the academy students of today.. I'll say this.. be careful .. these kids may surprise you."

"Now then, this mission is comprised of 2 parts. The first is to make it through the forest of illusions. Now as you may have guessed this is no ordinary forest.. the trees themselves have stored up chakra from the countless battles fought there and legend has it that the Shodaime himself once cast a gigantic genjutsu that comprised the entire forest and fooled an entire enemy army into thinking that we had an army when in fact it was only the Shodaime forcing them to retreat."

"Because of this, it is possibly the best place in the entire fire country to use gen-jutsu and.. at night things are not what they appear as the trees themselves will play with your mind making you see things that aren't there."

"Even when you reach the end of the forest the next step will begin. A race to the shrine of Narashi Kariya. And once there obtain the correct katana.. You will find there are 3 katana's sitting in the glass case facing the shadow of the statue. Only the correct Katana will hold the folded manuscript needed to complete the mission."

"The first to reach the shrine and bring back the correct katana will successfully complete the mission and obtain the bonus prize."

Naruto scratched his nose. "Piece of cake, we'll definitely get that sword! and then pura pura.." he began to slightly drool.

The bald.. thing snorted in disgust. "Bah why'd we get stuck with such a loser as a team leader.. not that I care about this stupid mission. I already know I could crush any of these wanna-be ninja's they call genin's."

Naruto stopped and turned to look at her. "Hmmm a bit of an attitude there huh butch!"

A vein popped out on the bald child's head. "What the hell are you blind I'm a girl!"

Naruto squinted his eyes and looked her up and down before exclaiming "Well look at you you're bald you have no eyelashes and you wear a pair of shorts with a damn sweatshirt!"

"What the hell is that about! Who wears shorts cause it's hot then a sweatshirt at the same time! And you don't even sound like a girl!"

The girl roared in fury. "Y-you.. baka!! I'm bald cause I don't want my opponents to be able to grab my hair and this sweatshirt is important to me!"

Naruto slashed his hand though the air. "I don't care! It makes you look like a dike!"

To this the Hyuuga standing next to them burst out laughing alongside Jiraiya who was already rolling on the ground. The pink haired girl sighed. "Can we get a move on.. I'd like to get this icky mission over with as soon as possible."

Naruto turned to the pink haired girl sitting there with a hairbrush. He blinked a few times in disbelief. "N-nani.. a.. icky.. mission.." The prim girl turned her nose up and pulled on a white satin glove before hopping off the ledge she was sitting on and walking gracefully in the direction of the forest.

Naruto blinked a few times before tears began streaming down his face. "Great I have a girl who thinks she's a guy, a Hyuuga hyena, and Paris Hilton for a team.."

He sighed and contemplated knocking them all out and shoving them in a bag while he completed the mission before deciding against it and walking off to catch up to them.


"An important strategy for survival is to secure food for yourself." Naruto stated sagely with closed eyes and arms folded."

The bald girl shook her head a look of utter revulsion spread on her features. "Y-you.. imbecile"

The Hyuuga boy was keeled over laughing as the Pink Haired girl gingerly placed another can of ramen into the bag. "Ug.. Naruto-san since you're the team leader shouldn't you be doing this.. I don't wanna break a nail.. I just got a fresh manicure and pedicure yesterday.."

The bald girl turned her wrath to the pink haired girl. "oiy princess! What the hell are you even dressed like that anyway.. y'kno I really hate people like you almost as much as I hate idiots like blondie."

Naruto snorted

She continued. "Every day you come to class in those expensive outfits and jewelry and what's worse you never wanna pull your half in any of the exercises.. quite frankly every time I see you I wanna knock those pearly little teeth out and see how pretty you smile then!"

The pink haired girl just turned up her nose. "Well I shant stoop to your level then.. unlike you I am not a savage."

Naruto ground his head into his fingertips.

He sighed. "All right that's enough.. but.. she does have a point you're not dressed for a mission."

The Hyuuga boy finally stopped his cackling long enough to ask a question. "Well then what would you have us wear Naruto-sansei do you have a special uniform for team Naruto.." He cracked up and burst out laughing again at the thought of what that might look like.

Naruto suddenly got a evil glint in his eyes. "Oh.. actually.. I do."

The Hyuuga stopped laughing and the pink haired girl looked at Naruto in disbelief.

Naruto chuckled before flashing through a set of hand seals and pulling out of his pocket dimension a set of 3 skin tight green jump suits.

The bald girl's eyes went wide. "Y-you cant be serious.."

Naruto laughed maniacally. "Actually I am." "These are specially designed suits from a man I once knew devoted to training and the power of Youth." With these we will shine in our youthfulness!"

The three looks of horror etched across the faces of his team made it worth the embarrassment of saying the words.


Naruto and his 3 green clad students made their way through the dense foliage. Naruto kept one eye on the map and one for possible dangers. He suddenly stopped and alerted his three students it seemed the bald girl had seen it as well and was already shifting into a defensive stance.

Not bad… Naruto thought. He turned to look at the others. The Hyuuga seemed anxious and the pink haired girl was clueless. He turned to face the unseen opponent again and smirked. "Yoshi! Brats watch and learn.. this is how a pro does it!" his shands shifted into a practiced seal.

"Sexy no Jutsu!"

a poof of smoke later and Naruto stood as a naked girl standing in a provocative stance looking cutely at the enemy ninja's still hidden from sight.

The Hyuuga boy exploded with laughter dropping his kunai and rolling on the ground.

The pink haired girl covered her eyes blushing furiously. The bald one. Narrowed her eyes and gripperd her kunai knife so hard her hand went numb. "he's such.. a moron!!" she screamed.

A enemy ninja jumped dwon from a branch behind Naruto and brought his wooden sword down on top of the bouncing blonde's head saying "You baka! Like a jutsu like that will work!"

Naruto suddenly went from a cute expression to a smirk and brought her wrist up to block the attack surprising the attacking ninja and his teammates.

She shot into the air and formed a seal saying "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Instantly an equally blonde female appeared next to her. They both smirked and called out Yuri no Jutsu!"

The two blondes landed and dropped to their knees crawling to each other before slowly embracing one another and gently leaning in with closed eyes for a gentle kiss.

Out of the trees 5 enemy ninja blasted out with blood streaming from their nose. They landed with a thud shaking spasmodically. The ninja who'd jumped out took in the scene before him before he too blasted back powered by a geyser of blood.

The two Naruto's poofed into smoke revealing only one male standing with his hand behind his head grinning. "Ha see.. how great I am now?"

The pink haired girl was about to feint from blushing.. "N-nani that was.. very inappropriate.."

Naruto squinted his eyes. What are you telling me you didn't just see that.."

The bald girl closed her eyes vein bulging she pointed accusingly at the ninja sprawled on the ground twitching. "See what?! that the male ninja in this villiage are all perverted pigs! Yeah I saw that!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Bah you're not reading underneath the underneath."

The Hyuuga boy finally stopped laughing holding his sides. "What are you talking about.. there is no underneath.. you were butt naked hahaha.." he broke out again."

Naruto sighed. "Man you kids are annoying, come on lets go.."

A few minutes later. Jiraiya's team passed by the area and surveyed the twitching Jounin. Jiraiya shook his head and looked up tears streaming down his face. "It's so.. beautiful.. Naruto you are a god among perverts I will follow you to the end of the earth!!" His team slowly backed away from the strange white haired boy.


Naruto jumped onto another branch but this time he switched directions slightly. The bald girls noticed this. "Oiy Naruto baka why are you switching courses?" Naruto turned his head to the right slightly. "We're goin to meet up with a friend of mine."

The pink haired girl blinked. "But I thought this was a race to the end so why are we meeting up with another team?"

Naruto sighed. "How long have you all been at the academy?"

The three kinds looked down. Naruto continued . "You still don't get it.. what we do.. as shinobi the most important thing. The one element that makes or breaks a mission. What is it?"

The bald girl looked up. "Well that has to be the assignment we've been given.. the difference between a good shinobi and a bad is discipline and absolute adherence to the rules.. as long as you look out for yourself and play your part the mission will succeed."

Naruto shook his head. "Wrong. That''s not what makes a shinobi a good one that's what makes a bad one.. it's so basic.. I can't believe after all this time you still don't get it.."

He stopped and jumped off the branch landing in the clearing next to Orochimaru who was standing near Tsunade and Jiraiya.

He smirked. "It's team work. On the way here I already worked out a plan with my team that we would combine together. The way it is it's not skill that chooses who wins its just pure luck and who runs into more obstacles than the other."

"So in order to give us and advantage we will combine our numbers together." "That's how real shinobi work.. and that's the way my team and I are. We rely on each other to make the other stronger and with that bond of trust comes confidence."

A boy with orange hair in a ponytail standing next to Tsunade spoke up. "But what about there only being one winner and the bonus prize?"

Naruto shook his head. "We'll definitely get that sword but we're all walking back with it together or none of us are walking back at all."

The bald girl looked at Naruto in surprise. She was, for once, silent and just observed the blonde kitsune.

Naruto nodded "All right let's go!"

The 12 shinobi charged forward.

Elsewhere Sarutobi smirked alongside the instructor and the Nidaime as they watched the events unfold through a crystal ball.


Three hours later the group of 12 shinobi appeared at the entrance to the shrine. As they walked closer it became evident the inside of the shrine was much larger than expected. Naruto grinned. "I thought they might pull something like this..."

Once they reached the inside it became apparent this was going to be complicated. There were 3 katana's encased in reinforced glass. One large multi armed statue stood at the back and emanating from it were multiple shadows.

Nawaki shook his head. "What the hell how are we supposed to figure out what the sword faces the shadow of the statue when there are like a bazillion shadows!"

Naruto shook his head. "It's simple.. this test was designed to test the Genin's capabilities in the forest but to also pit us against each other. The goal was that there wouldn't be a winner."

The pink haired girl and Jiriaya turned to look at Naruto what.. but.. what the hell! What do you mean there wouldn't be a winner!?" Jiriaya exclaimed.

Orochimaru pointed at the wall in one hand he held in a release sign and the wall became fuzzy before returning to normal but revealing a red painted kanji from 1 to 60 all around the room. Naruto nodded. "In order to pass this test you had to have 60 bodies of the 15 genin and their teams line up under the marks this would block out all but the one true shadow."

The academy students and Tsunade widened their eyes in realization. Naruto continued. "It was designed so that if even one student was left behind or not present then the entire missions and group would fail." "But since we don't have all the ones present and no doubts some of them have been beaten or removed from the exercise then we'll just have top make up the rest of the numbers."

He formed a seal. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!

Naruto smirked as 48 clones popped up. "All right now let's line up."

Once all the teams and clones were in position it was plainly evident that the middle case was facing the only shadow left. Naruto threw a kunai at the correct case and watched as the explosive tag blew up Naruto walked forward and he peered down through the hole a wooden box was lodged under the earth just out of reach. Naruto flashed through a set of seals so fast it was imperceptible to all but his 3 teammates.

A doton tremor shook the ground before a platform rose up holding the chest.

The academy students looked on confused.

Tsunade sighed. "Ok I'll explain it.. if the test was to encourage team work or everyone fails then it'd be pointless to have one of the cases hold the right katana because someone could just pick the right one out of luck."

"Also if you remember the instructor never actually said that one of the cases held the correct katana only that there were 3 of them and we needed the correct sword."

Jiraiya nodded. "So, going off that information we can only assume that the real one would have had to be hidden."

And sure enough, as Naruto opened the wooden box inside was a long katanna. They all came forward to see it.

Naruto smiled. "You're still kids.. so it's ok but remember the lesson you learn here.. in the world of the shinobi your teammates are the only thing keeping you alive.. Because of that your comrades are more important than anything."

The academy students nodded slowly staring at Naruto wuth wonder.

The blond kitsune chuckled putting a hand behind his head. "well we gotta get back to Kohona somehow so all aboard the sannin express."

The three said shinobi flashed through a set of seals and summoned a large frog snake and slug.

With a bit of coaxing even Manda agreed to let the kids ride on his head without eating one or two of them. And soon they came slithering hopping and sliding into the front yard of the academy.

After all the students were off the summons dispersed and the 4 genin walked forward all holding the single sheathed katana. They all together placed it down on the table in front of the instructor and stepped back grinning."

She raised an eyebrow before gripping the sword and sliding the sheathe off revealing a piece of paper neatly folded over the blade. Reading it she turned to look over the academy students and nodded. "Well, you pass."

She truned to the 4 genin grinning from ear to ear. "and as for you four.." she sighed. "well" she reached into her back pocket. "it looks like you'll be heading out to Pura Pura Land for 3 days."

Naruto jumped 40 feet into the air and threw his fist up in glee shouting out "yatta!"

The other genin and students were then called out and explained the details oif the mission but it would be listed that in all of the hidden leaf only Sarutobi's team had passed that great survival mission of team work as the mission would later be coined.


Ayame and Orochimaru continued to get to know each other. Her new duties as a Chuunin were surprisingly light. This gave quite a bit of time for enjoying time in one place a feeling she'd not had since living in Ghoda-sama's estate.

Orochimaru continued his studies in the Shaolin dao in hopes that one day he might fully atone for the sins he'd never commit.

Jiraiya's Icha Icha Gangsta's Paradise became a international hit spanning from hidden villages and even non shinobi powers producing the demand for a tour.

Amana, Kyuubi's sister and Jiriaya began to hang out more often. This caused a rumor to begin spreading that they were seeing each other. Regardless of there being any truth to this claim or not they seemed to work well together.

Sega continued his training with Gota to prepare for the day when he would take the place of his father Kagen.

Kagen and Tatsumaru struck a deal with the west that they could retain their sovereignty so long as they signed over 4 quadrants of the western continent to be divided up amongst the two powers.

Sarutobi and Ayako continued their married life together and would eventually give birth to a son named Asuma.

Hikaru Lana and Geij returned to the land of hidden snow and resumed their training in preparation for the next Chuunin exams.

Zabuza continued his rule as the Mizukage and began training the young woman Oorchimaru had fought in the Chuunin exam as the first of a brand new set of 7 swordsmen of the mist.

The grass shinobi moved in to the hidden sun village having no real power base left in hidden grass.

The Akatsuki retained a fairly low profile still staying a mostly shadowy organization but welcoming the outcast of society and refining their powers and skills.

The young boy Naruto had helped when he'd gotten his sword continued to grow into a strong young man never forgetting the words or example of the boy who'd saved his village. The Jouning and his team from hidden cloud would likewise retain their memory of Naruto until they were visited by the mysterious Ramen one day as well.

Arashi sadly, died from a client who'd been displeased with the speed of his work.

Kayaku ruled as the Yondaime and watched over the baby Naruto as the last remnant of his old friend. He also served a unit leader in the Akatsuki and a sort of Brother figure to Naruto and Jiraiya.

Hatake Sakumo returned with Kayaku to his dimension to an overjoyed Kakashi and served as a special Jounin being a strong candidate for position for the next Hokage.

Itachi became actively involved in both the Akatsuki but Kayaku's world as well. He succeeded in turning his younger self from his path of madness and developed a slight blond with the young Sasuke of that world.

Mikoto and Fugaku both rose to ANBU level and their relationship with Itachi increased incrementally.

Gaara served as Kazekage and a member of the Akatsuki. He, Naruto and jiraiya became quite well known for their trio performances during the majority of Jiraiya's music videos. His relationship with Temari and Kankuro was looked upon as a miracle. No longer were they afraid of him.

Thought his power had increased to heights unimaginable, he had become much more… human.

In Naruto's original world Orochimaru attempted to take Sasuke's body but Sasuke used his sharingan to repel the jutsu right back trapping Orochimaru within his mind forever.

After this he left and recruiting three ninja creating a elite group he codenamed S.N.A.K.E.

He left with this new group abandoning the sound village in search of his brother Itachi. After several months of failed attempts he returned to Kohona to seek out Jiraiya who seemed to be able to use his connection network to keep track of the Akatsuki's movement.

Though Jiraiya was nowhere to be found he was ushered in by the council and in order to take advantage of the resources in Kohona he agreed to the story that they told the village of his defection and how it had been a mission to eventually assassinate Orochimaru and that he had just now returned after being undercover for 3 years.

Two months later it was announced that Sasuke Uchiha would succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage. He kept his SNAKE group intact as a special division of the ANBU field ops.

Hatake Kakashi and Umino Iruka had become known throughout the shinobi continent as the brothers of death due to their staggering mission completion rate.

When Sasuke became Hokage Umino Iruka left on leave and when the time came to return he was nowhere to be found. He is now listed as an S class missing ninja.

Haruno Sakura became a Jounin leaving her academy teaching days behind for a position in the medical field in Kohona hospital.

Yamananka Ino is still training with Tsunade in hopes that she can one day surpass Sakura.

Konohamaru Moegi and Udon are a promising genin Squad looking forward to the advancement of chuunin with the coming exam.

The rest of the Rookie 9 have had similar promotions. Lee is now a chuunin but has had to have another operation in order to remain as a ninja and because of his inability to use anything but tai-jutsu Sasuke has placed a permanent lock on his advancement status. He will never reach Jounin. This is an order that Gai fights against every time he can.

A young Shinobi named Sai has been given the position of head ANBU captain.

And finally back in the past…

Naruto acts as a genin under the Nidaime but also serves as the leader of the Akatsuki and is respected and acknowledged by both sides. He maintains good friendships with all of his allies and friends in other dimensions and timelines.

Tsunade has voiced her desire to become a medic ninja and while at first it seemed she was in over her head her devotion and work soon proved to her family and friends that she was serious.

She and Naruto are open with their relationship and have the consent of her parents. At this time she is not expecting a child and with her medical skills she is able to negate undesired effects in her body through use of chakra manipulation.

All 4 members of team 5 remain genin in rank but their skills and powers far exceed kage level.

But most of all Naruto has gained his dream. The dream to be Hokage was merely a catalyst. Naruto, after all didn't love all the people of the leaf, on the contrary in fact he wanted to prove them wrong and was constantly hurt by them.

No, it was not the title Hokage he wanted to possess.. in the end it was simply the acknowledgement that came with the title. And that he had gained. Through hard work, sacrifice and blood sweat and tears.. he had gained…



"Wow.. that's amazing.. Naruto sounds soo cool.."

The old man chuckled. "Indeed. He was quite an amazing lad."

The young children scattered around him scuttled closer.. "Is there any more? did he and Tsunade get married or have any kids?"

The old man laughed heartily. "Well, it's getting late you've been here for quite awhile already.. I'm sure your mothers are worried sick and in any case it's time for bed now.."

A chorus of awwww's met with this statement.

"But to answer your questions yes, there is more.. a great deal more.. one such as Naruto can't really stay still for long.."

The small heads whipped around and the eyes widened in wonder. "Really?"

The old man rose slowly straightening out his old muscles. "Oh yes.. and if you're very very good.. perhaps.. one day."

He turned to leave and placed his weathered hat on his head. "I'll tell you more."

The children gave a yell of glee and raced down the dirt paths to their respective homes.

The old man chuckled looking into the sky mumbling softly.

"Oh yes.. there would many more great battles and struggles for Naruto some even more epic than that of Tatsumaru and others.. would not be fought with fists at all.."

"Indeed there would be many more adventures for our young hero.."

"But that's another story."


Don't Be Flashing Steel When you Roll through Compton is now officially complete.

Note: well it's done. Took awhile but in my defense my entire story was removed. I went back through it and reposted it after cleaning it up a lil so hopefully that wont happen again lol..

Anyway its done so for anyone that wants to enjoy the fic feel free to it's done. Now I can focus on Bloody Pawprints and Hollowed Space. Yay one less thing hangin over my head hehe..

I like how this fic turned out. It seems BP is more popular but imo this is a masterpiece. There are so many jokes and things that I wrote out that even going back a year or two later I wouldn't change anything. In my opinion were this story to be cleaned up grammatically it would be the most enjoyable fanfic I've ever read on this site.

I'm not saying that cuz I wrote it. I seriously believe that. As an artist I can critique my work but for me and my tastes this story is an absolute masterpiece and I love the world I was able to create.

As for a sequel well I dunno I got a lot of stuff to deal with in bp and hs but as I said I love this world I created and characters that inhabit it. I have an idea already for the ultimate bad guy in the next sequel if I ever do write it if u want more info on that check my profile ill post some brainstorming ideas for you as far as what I got for the next sequel but realize that it doesn't necessarily mean I'll write it.


Anyway. Thank you all to the people who are still with me and stuck through to the end I hope u liked how I tied everything up.

And so without further ado I give to you the end of a 2 year project.