AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!
Raven woke up and looked around. It was dark out. She had fallen asleep after thinking so much. She didn't feel well, so she decided to have some tea. She didn't think that tea actually helped her, it just tricked her mind into thinking it did. Mind over matter; that's how she always thought.
She ventured out of her room and entered the common room. Cyborg was watching television and he turned when he saw her enter. "Uh, hey Raven," he said.
"Hi," she said tiredly and went into the kitchen.
"How are ya?" he asked.
"I've been better," she said getting her things to make her tea.
"Sorry to hear that," he said kindly.
"Thanks," she said and filled the tea kettle with water.
Just as she was placing it on the stove to heat up the doors opened and in walked Robin and Starfire, their arms around each other. They saw Raven and they stopped. They made sure they were very quiet and moved slowly. Raven couldn't take it.
"Would you please stop treating me like an animal!" she said annoyed. "I'm not going to run off if you move too fast or speak."
"We are sorry," said Starfire. "It is just that we have not seen you this evening."
"I was napping," she said plainly.
"Are you feeling okay?" asked Robin.
"No, but it doesn't matter," she said waiting impatiently for her water to boil.
"But it does matter," said Starfire. "You are our friend; we do not want you to feel not okay."
"I'll feel better once I have my tea," said Raven.
Suddenly the doors opened again and Beast Boy had a large bag of trash over his shoulder. He saw everyone starring at him, but he just continued on his way. He went to the trash and shoved the bag in.
"Uh… where'd all that trash come from?" asked Cyborg.
"My room," said Beast Boy. "I'm kinda tidying up."
"You're cleaning your room?" asked Robin shocked.
"Yeah," said Beast Boy. Raven's kettle began to whistle and she turned the heat down. She was so happy she had something to occupy her while he was in the room. "Well… I better get back to work." And with that he left.
"I see you and Beast Boy still ain't speakin," said Cyborg. Raven didn't say anything. She just sipped her tea quietly.
"How long will the two of you not be doing the talking?" asked Starfire. Raven still didn't say anything. She just closed her eyes and focused on her tea.
"I really think it'd be better if the two of you talked and worked everything out," said Robin. "He really is sorry and… well, he does have a reason for acting the way he's acting. The sooner you talk the sooner you'll be able to…"
Raven slammed her cup of tea down. "I've had enough of this! I just want you guys to leave me alone, okay? Whether I'm talking with Beast Boy or not is none of your business. So stop prying and forget about it!" And with that her cup shattered and she headed out of the room. She then stopped, turned around, and said, "And just so you know, I do know why Beast Boy's been acting weird. It's because he has a crush on me and he can't accept the fact that I can't be with him. You know it, I know it, we all know now!" And with that she left the room, tea-less and angrier than she had been in hours.
"We have upset her," said Starfire.
"What was your first clue?" asked Cyborg sarcastically.
"I better go talk to Beast Boy," said Robin. "I'm sure he has something to do with this."
Beast Boy looked around realized how big his room really was. He had forgotten. He had three loads of laundry going, which he had plucked off the floor. Everything was put away and it almost looked… organized. He felt mildly proud of himself and let out a satisfied sigh. Then he heard someone knocking on his door. "Come in," he said proudly.
Robin entered and looked wide eyed at his room. "Beast Boy… you actually did clean you room!"
"I know," chuckled Beast Boy. "Never thought I'd see the day. So what's up?"
"I'm here to talk about Raven," said Robin.
Beast Boy's smile faded and his ears dropped. "Oh," he said.
"She just blew up at us in the kitchen," said Robin. "Evidently she knows that you like her."
"Yeah," said Beast Boy. "Needless to say she didn't take it very well."
"Did you think she would?" asked Robin.
Beast Boy sighed. "No. But I hoped. I just don't know what to do anymore."
Robin sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what to tell you."
"I know," said Beast Boy. "It seems like no one knows anything. I just hate feeling so lost. If only I could get her out of my mind."
"Well, when it comes to mind problems, she's the one to go to," said Robin.
Raven entered her room angry once more. She had been going into her room angry more and more often. She was sick of it all. Sick of everyone and everything. Why did life have to be so complicated? Was there no way out? She began to meditate and slowly her mind was centered and she calmed down.
Through the peacefulness she had created in her mind came the sound of knocking. At first she wasn't sure if it was real, but soon it brought her right back into reality. She opened her eyes and said, "Hello?" She hoped no one would answer. After all, who would be dumb enough to dare to bother her when she asked to be left alone?
"Raven, it's me," said Beast Boy.
Raven let out a long, loud groan of frustration. She wanted to scream and pull her hair out. "What could you possibly want now?"
"I need your help," he said a bit sadly.
She opened the door with her powers and glared at him from her bed. "What do you need help with?" she asked coldly.
He walked in and closed her door. "I want you to go inside of my mind and get rid of my feelings for you," he said.
"You want me to what?" she asked confused.
"I want you to go inside my head and just erase everything I think about when I think about you," he said walking over to her. "That way we'll all be happy."
"I'm not going to damage your mind!" said Raven.
"Please?" he said. "I just… I just can't think about you anymore. Every time I do I feel sick because I know that nothing can ever happen between us. And I know that you don't want anything to happen and that you want me to leave you alone. If you just clean my mind, then we can all get what we want."
Raven just stared at him for a second. "But you won't," she said.
"It won't matter once it's done," said Beast Boy looking at the floor. Then he looked back to her and their eyes met. "So, will you?"
Raven couldn't believe what he was asking her to do. He wanted her to cleanse his mind of her. The thought of her was such a burden, that he couldn't handle it any more. She was causing him pain. She never wanted to hurt him. "Alright," she said at last, almost sadly.
He sat across from her on the bed. Raven calmed him and helped him reach his center. Once his mind was calm and neutral she could enter it and do what she needed to do. She felt horrible about doing this, but it was for the best, right? She looked at him and saw that his eyes were closed and his face looked relaxed.
"Ready?" she asked softly.
"Yes," he said sadly.
Raven closed her eyes and said, "Azerath… Metrion… Zynthos," and her soul self left her body and entered Beast Boy's mind. It was pretty calm and she found her way to his memories. She decided to take care of those later. She first had to reach his thoughts and redirect the way he thought about her. She reached it and took a look inside.
"Beast Boy, can you hear me?" she asked.
"Yes," his mind said.
"Okay, I need you to remain calm at all times," she said. "Now I want you to think about me. I need to see everything that happens when I enter your thoughts."
Suddenly images flashed in front of her. With each image there was a voice behind it, speaking. His voice was narrating to the pictures. "I love the way she looks when she's meditating… her eyes are so beautiful… she hates me… she's so strong… maybe I should start reading… she hates me… she sure does love her tea… God, I want her to smile… she hates me…" Raven saw images of herself meditating and reading and talking and drinking tea and scolding him.
She felt the emotions he was feeling. When he thought about her he felt a warm feeling pass over him and his heart raced. A longing desire crept over him and at the same time despair and sadness. It was all so strong that Raven completely forgot what she was there to do. She was overcome by all of his feelings and couldn't handle it. She had no idea he had felt all of this for her. Was this what a crush felt like? She had certainly never felt one, then. It was a wonderful feeling, and at the same time painful. She couldn't do this. She didn't want him to never feel like this for her again. She had never known that someone could feel like this about her. She left his mind and went back into her own body.
Beast Boy gasped and opened his eyes. It was all a very odd sensation, having her inside of his head. He looked across to her and saw that she had gasped as well and come back. She was looking a little dazed. She then made eye contact with him and wrapped her arms around him.
"I don't hate you!" she said.
Beast Boy was a bit startled by this, but he liked the feel of her hugging him. Wait a second! He wasn't supposed to like that anymore. "Raven, what happened? Did you… did you stop me from thinking about you?"
"No," she said releasing him. She had tears in her eyes. "I couldn't do it. I just… I never knew, Beast Boy. I never knew that anyone could feel like that about me. The way you saw me, through your eyes, I was almost beautiful to you."
"You are beautiful to me," said Beast Boy taking her hands and looking concerned. "Why would you think otherwise? And why did you say, "I don't hate you"?"
"Because you think that I do," she said bowing her head. "And I don't. I really don't. And I'm sorry that you think so. You have such wonderful thoughts about me. I don't want that to go away. I don't want to go back to having no one liking me."
"Raven, I can't go on watching you from afar," said Beast Boy. "I've had to do that for so long. I just can't do it anymore."
"Then don't do it anymore," said Raven. She softly grabbed his face and brought him to her lips.
To say that Beast Boy was shocked was an understatement. As soon as their lips met his lungs seemed to die and he couldn't breath. But he soon closed his eyes and found his breath again. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her as close to him as he could. As he did, Raven wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to kiss him.
Everything was flying around her room, once more. Beast Boy went to release her lips, but she refused. She didn't care that her room was being destroyed. She had never felt this way before, because she had never allowed herself to. And Beast Boy was in absolute bliss.
Finally their lips released and they both began to catch their breath. Raven still had tears streaming down her face. Their foreheads rested against each other and they continued to hold one another. Beast Boy opened his eyes and saw that Ravens were still closed. Slowly her eyes did open and they stared at each other for a little while.
Then Beast Boy smiled and whispered. "L is for the way you look at me…"