Okay here guys! This one is also dedicated to Christian! Loved all the feedback for my stories, and the well wishes were so sensitive... I think you guys have helped me getting through his death!



There is no way to describe the pain you feel when you know your own father doesn't give a damn about you. When he cares more about what he has then his own child. No matter what you do, he always cares more about something or someone else, be that thing as trivial as a piece of bread.

My name is Lily Daine. I found that even though I do everything I possibly can to make my father happy, it's never enough. I can get high grades, and earn as many awards as the world has to offer, and he would never be proud of me. I can have the respect and pride of my friends, and teachers, yet my father will always ask why I haven't done better.

My brother John can do wrong. If he fails a grade or class, it's always that at least he's trying. If he does one little thing, it's like the Red Sox have won the world series. Yet though he can do no wrong, I can do no right, and my pain has torn my heart open.

I've seen another boy the same age as me, who seems to do the same things that I do. His name is Sam Winchester, and I have seen through visions what his father puts him through. I also know that he has the same abilities that I do, being able to see the future, and remember things that others would forget, and leave without a second glance.

Though I am a very smart student, and try my hardest to achieve, I am also very shy, the words that my father drilled into me about my worth having stuck with me through the years. Sam seems the same way, though with his brother around he can never have peace and quiet, though that may be a good thing.

Sam has friends, and lots of them, with his good looks and brooding demeanor. He doesn't realize that he and his brother are the two most popular people in the young crowd of the town, and maybe that's what makes him popular.

I have always had this enormous crush on Sam, though we remain best friends at the moment. He doesn't know that I know about his home life, which is more than his brother knows. Dean is oblivious to the fact that Sam is unhappy, and that his father makes him feel that way. Though Dean would protect his brother through anything and from anyone, he doesn't realize that it's their father that makes Sam feel that way.

I have seen what Sam can do at his worst. He is still trying to protect those around him, while bearing a heart breaking pain. Sam has asked me why his father doesn't love him, why he doesn't care; and I don't have the answers for him, I don't even have them for myself.

Today was a day that changed everything, for the better I hope and pray.

It all started with Sam coming over to my house, having walked in the pouring rain, and I could tell that the moisture on his cheeks wasn't all from the rain. He was soaking wet when I ushered him through the door, and up the stairs. I vaguely thought that my father might flip, but he didn't even care that I was there.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" I asked, as I got the spare clothes he always left at my house, and handed them to him. He was shaking, and not just from the cold, as he changed and sat down on my bed.

He looked up to me, and I thought I might cry from the look in his eyes, as if he had been shattered. "I know he didn't mean it!" Sam sobbed as I put my arms around his shaking shoulders. "God, he said it was my fault she died," his tears came harder, and I froze for a moment, knowing he was talking about his mother.

How dare that bastard do that? "Sammy, you can't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about." I tried to sooth him while keeping my anger at his father in check. Sam shook in my arms for a while more, and I didn't know if it was that he was crying, or if he was just trying to take deep breaths, and sooth himself.

When he looked up at me, I found herself lost in his blue green eyes. He looked at me as if I was the most beautiful woman in the world, and my breath caught. I looked back at him, and my emotions shown in my gray blue eyes for the first time.

"You're beautiful," Sam said, his voice low and hitched, "and I have had the biggest crush on you for a long time." I felt the breath slam out of my lungs, my own dreams coming true.

"God, your handsome, and I feel the same about you." I couldn't believe the words had left my mouth, but as soon as they had, I found myself in a deep possessing kiss with Sam.

What happened after that had changed everything between us. I found that I loved him, and he felt the same about me, showing me what he felt. He showed me through his touches and his gentle words. I showed him what I felt right back, my touches and words showing him that I loved him, and his beautiful soul.

I found myself in love at eighteen, with a boy who loved me for who I am and not what I could be. The morning after that explosive night, I found myself confessing all I knew about myself, and all I knew about him to Sam. Sam hadn't been mad at me, he had hugged me, and told me that it was alright, that he would love me through anything, and I knew he was telling the truth.

Someone finally loved me!

Sam had asked me to be his girlfriend that morning, and I had told him that there was nothing to make me ever say no. It had been then that I had heard my father, and I had told Sam that he had to hide. Sam had grabbed his clothes and had run to the closet, while my father had burst into the room.

I had on a tee-shirt and pajama shorts, but he had seen my mussed up hair, knowing that I had been up for a while, and would have brushed my hair first thing, and he had started in on me. "What are you, a whore?" He had asked me, and I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes. "Is that what you are? So attention craving that you have to find it from any random guy?"

He had advanced on me, seeing the tears that were now streaming down my face, and he had laughed. When he grabbed my wrists, I had known then that something had been wrong. "Poppa, what are you doing?" I asked, tearing running down my cheeks, and shaking my head; moving my long curly blond hair away from my face.

"Well if you are so attention starved, then why don't I give you some?" His grip had tightened on my wrists, and though I had pulled as hard as could, I couldn't get him off me, and I felt something in my wrist snap as I pulled.

I hadn't heard Sam, I had only seen him running over and pulling my father off of me. They had both fell to the floor, and before I knew what had happened, Sam was on the bottom, and my father was punching him.

I jumped on my father, hooking my arms around him neck, and yanking backwards. He had reeled back, and tossed me from his back. The last thing I remembered was landing bad on my wrist, and slamming my bedside table with my ribs. He had punched me in the temple after that, and I had let the darkness sweep me away.


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Love you all