The bat signal shone bright against the night sky, a beacon of light splashed across the overcast heavens. The word was that the Joker had managed to bypass the attention of the Rink's security staff and had nearly blown the entire place sky high... Complete with matching sidekick by the unoriginal name of Harley Quinn.
Batman's eyes narrowed, his focus on the road ahead of him as the Batmobile sped in an around Gotham's late night traffic in order to get to the crime scene. Hopefully he wasn't too late to catch the self dubbed 'Clown Prince of Crime.
"Holy Unholies!" Robin's voice cut through Batman's reverie. "Batman! I think I just saw the Joker!"
"Where?" The question was made to sound like a command.
"Up ahead," Robin's voice came over their communication's link again, "on the left side of the road. It looks like he's with that Harlequin lady too."
Batman kept his eyes on the left side of the road, tense and ready for a fight, soon spotting what Robin was talking about. Upon seeing the clownish duo he relaxed back into his seat with a shake of his head. "That's not them," Batman assured his young companion confidently.
"But Batman, they're -"
"They're kissing," Batman cut the younger man off before anything else could be said. "The Joker wouldn't kiss anyone, least of all not in public. And nobody would want to kiss the Joker." An uncomfortable stab of something that felt too close to jealousy for comfort wormed it's way under Batman's armour. "He's all clowny and gross," Batman continued confidently, "a psycho. If any woman was going to kiss some 'masked' guy it'd be me."
Batman shifted his grip on the Batmobile's steering wheel. "I'm more handsome than the Joker, more refined. More mysterious. Women like men who dont gas kindergarten kids and squirt acid into people's faces. Men like me. Kissable men. Not the Joker."
Robin cleared his throat. "Batman..."
"I mean, what sort of appeal can the Joker have anyway? Nothing compared to me. I'm popular... The ladies love me."
Robin sighed, the sound undeniably exasperated. "Yes, Bruce. You're a manly, manly-man."
Batman didn't catch the slightly mocking tone in the younger man's voice. He nodded stiffly. "I am," Batman confirmed, then kept driving. There was no way the Joker could find himself a girlfriend when Batman couldn't... When Bruce Wayne couldn't. No way at all.
Harley Quin giggled her insane little giggle, watching the Batmobile speed past without Batman so much as glancing in her direction. "This life of crime gig looks like it could be real fun, Mister J!" Harley announced, her mad little self bouncing down the street beside the Joker (with Mary-Anne staring despondently out from somewhere deep on the inside.
"Yes indeedy my liddle exploding cupcake," the Joker chuckled, twirling a recently acquired cane in one hand, his other hand caught firmly by Harley's smaller, begloved right hand. His near-permanently fixed grin curved further upward in one corner to give the appearance of a leer. "As may your ingenius camoflage tactics."