Peeves Request

By DD Agent.

This is a one off Harry Potter Story. Author's notes at the end.

Peeves writes a letter to the heads of Warner Brothers as to why he wasn't in the films.

Smelly Hogwarts Dungeon,

Piddly Hogwarts,

Scotland,

S C O T L A N D!

Wednesday 8th March 2006

Dear Warner Brothers Executives,

My name is Peeves the Poltergeist. I am writing this letter in the dungeon at Hogwarts. And I have a complaint to put before you.

In the Harry Potter biography's written by J.K.Rowling, I was constantly in the books. I was annoying Harry, McGonagall and all the members of Hogwarts with my antics. My funny rhymes and effortless humour have entertained the people all over the world through these books, more than Potty and the mudblood have.

However, I did a piddly voice over in the Philosophers Stone, and I wasn't even in the others! I did some of my best work in the Goblet of Fire, and I wasn't even mentioned!

I would like to request that I have a starring role in the Order of the Phoenix, because Daniel Radcliffe's acting models Hagrid's hut. Wooden. If you do not accept that Peeves is a valuable part of the Potty books, and just filler, then I am going to pelt you with chalk.

Re-read the 5th book and you'll see that I am HILARIOUS!

Yours chalkingly,

Peeves the Poltergeist.

P.S. if you don't do this, I will have to go on to do the Little Britain Voice Overs now Tom Baker has gone off to be James Bond. Please, let me do this.

P.P.S. for all my loving fans, you can see me as Hamlet in the new Shakespeare Retold and as Peggy Mitchell's love interest in Eastenders.

What do you think? Not bad? Hated every second? Please let us know otherwise I might do Peeves future job interests as a fanfic story.

It came to me when I realised that my favourite character (second to Snape) was not in the films. I was very upset.

Sorry to all you Daniel Radcliffe fans though.

-DD Agent

We live for the one, we die for the one.