Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.
Perhaps the fact that he had been ordered to report to Team Gai's training area for today should have been his first clue that something very bad was about to happen to him. Another clue would have been the annoyingly gleeful face of Kakashi-sensei, who seemed to think there was some hilarious joke going on that he was unaware of. A third clue would have been the members of the team, specifically one white eyed Hyuuga prodigy.
Then again, sixteen year old Uzumaki Naruto is not exactly known for his foresight, even after achieving Chuunin and bringing back Uchiha Sasuke in a rescue attempt involving cross-dressing, ambushes, a very bemused Copy Ninja, and the usual epic, angst filled battle to the near-death.
So when the blonde arrived at the training ground, he was puzzled but unaware of the impending doom about to fall upon him.
Impending doom was waiting for him though, in the center of the forest clearing. This of course, was the fourth clue... which Naruto easily missed.
"Uh... Neji? Do you know why I'm here? And where's fuzzy eyebrows and super fuzzy eyebrows, and that weapons chick?" Naruto asked distractedly, staring blankly at the Hyuuga, who stared back without expression.
"Naruto. Spar with me." It was not a request. Hyuuga Neji didn't do requests, but then again, neither did he specifically ask Naruto to spar with him. This should have been the fifth clue that something was terribly wrong.
Still, Naruto loved to test and prove his strength against others, and he hadn't had a fight against Neji since the first Chuunin exam.
"Alright!" Naruto crouched low. He remembered that with the Gentle Fist and the Kaiten, Neji was about as powerful as himself when he tapped into the Kyubi without resorting to the first tail. Still... this was a friendly spar, right? No need for anything drastic like the Demon Fox.
Oh boy, was he wrong.
"Um... Gai-sensei? Why did you tell us that the training ground was off limits today?" Tenten asked curiously, as they sat at the Ichiraku (Gai insisted that wherever Kakashi's team found good eating, they would try it).
"Ah, Tenten. Neji expressed a desire to talk with Naruto alone, and I gladly acquiesced to the wishes of his youth!" the bowl haired man said, and his teeth pinged and shone out like an annoyingly bright sun.
Tenten wisely used her spoon to block it, but accidentally reflected the light into another customer, who was blinded and would have to be sent to the hospital for a few days.
Next to him, Rock Lee smiled and matched his sensei's pose, but it was far away enough that Tenten wasn't caught in the smile's path.
"Talk?" Tenten said blankly, blinking. "Neji doesn't talk." She stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Ah, dear Tenten, this is where you are wrong!" Gai said proudly, continuing to smile. "Neji wishes to discuss Naruto's budding relationship with his beloved cousin!"
"Ah, the flames of youth and passion! Neji must wish to bless this union!" Lee shouted proudly, doing a new pose which involved him standing up on the bar and his stool, like a conqueror.
"Lee... get down." Tenten sighed, once more wondering why she had been cursed with the most oddball team in existence (though Team Seven and the Sannin might give her a run for her money) before realizing what her eccentric (read: insanely cheerful) sensei and teammate were trying to say.
Naruto finally realized something was wrong.
Of course, it was also at the same moment that Neji's palm connected with his chest and sent a violent spasm through his body and forced him to vomit blood. It wasn't a lethal blow, but more designed to inflict incredible pain.
"Neji?" he gasped, wiping the blood from his mouth. "What are you-"
In lieu of a response, the Hyuuga struck him with Hakke Kusho, knocking him backwards with his chakra, and sending Naruto crashing into the tree behind him, ten feet away.
And it was then that Naruto realized he was in deep, deep shit.
"Do you realize what you've done!" TenTen screeched, standing straight up out of her chair.
"What has disturbed your youth, my young flower?" Gai asked concernedly, setting down his chopsticks.
"Don't you remember! Neji started being really protective of Hinata after the Chuunin exams! He's not going to bless Hinata's relationship with Naruto! He's going to kill him!" the weapons kunoichi shrieked, glaring at both eerily similar looking shinobi.
"Now, now, TenTen, I'm sure Neji just wanted to talk with Naruto. He's never been a person to take rash action." Lee reassured her.
The three of them all paused, and thought about that statement.
"... Well, he hasn't done anything rash since he tried to kill Hinata..." Lee corrected himself.
TenTen did not look convinced.
"I still think Neji's going to kill Naruto."
Lee's eyes widened, and he started to look nervous.
TenTen rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Lee, how could you not see this coming. Neji's so protective of-"
"Hi Hinata!" Lee said quickly, his voice a tone too high.
TenTen turned slowly, and a very, very fake smile crossed her face.
"Oh... hey there Hinata... we were just talking about you..."
Naruto had no idea why Neji was being this violent, far too violent for a sparring match, but if he didn't want his organs cooked by the Gentle Fist, he would need to fight back.
A quick Kage Bunshin managed to get the real Naruto away from Neji's range, since he remembered the excruciating pain of the Hakke technique that Neji had inflicted upon him in the first Chuunin exam.
Chances were, Neji was even better than before.
As his clones were battered back by a Kaiten- which had grown much stronger over the past few years and now had the power to create a small crater around Neji- Naruto frowned.
"Neji! What the Hell is the matter with you!" Naruto snarled, crouching on a high tree branch.
Neji hurled a barrage of shuriken at him in response.
The blonde, narrowing his eyes, jumped away. "Fine! If you won't answer, then I'll beat the answer out of you!" he moved his hand together, and started moving his left hand over his open right hand, creating a swirl of potent blue chakra.
He wouldn't put too much power into the technique- despite how Neji was acting, Naruto did not want to kill him- but he needed something to break the Kaiten.
Neji's eyes narrowed.
The eldest Hyuuga daughter was white as a sheet.
"W-what did you say about Neji-niisan and Naruto-kun?" she stuttered. It was a habit that many were still trying to break, to varying degrees of success. Still, for this moment, perhaps stuttering was forgivable.
"Uh... nothing you need to be worried about. Nothing at all." TenTen replied shakily, kicking Lee in the shin subtly. "Heh... so, just... go about your day."
Hinata did not look convinced.
Lee nodded rapidly, far too quickly, really. He had never been a good actor. "Yes, Hinata! Do not fear! I am sure that Neji and Naruto will work out their differences!"
"Or kill each other." TenTen muttered, before she could stop herself. Mortified, she slapped her hand over her mouth. "Wait! I didn't mean that, Hinata!"
The Hyuuga girl was already gone.
He should have remembered the last time he threw an attack at the Kaiten... or any of the other times when he used Rasengan against another technique of incredible force (i.e. Chidori).
Neji slowly pulled himself from the dirt stood up, looking battered, his clothes covered in dirt and chakra burns.
Naruto staggered up as well, really hoping he wouldn't have to try to break the Kaiten with his attack again.
Thankfully, Neji simply gave him an appraising look. "That was passable. But if you want to become the Hyuuga Head, and Hokage, you'll need to be better." He said plainly.
"Your taijutsu is good, but it could definitely be better. You might not be able to use the Gentle Fist, but perhaps we can teach you some other techniques." Neji continued, as though he wasn't losing the blonde completely.
"Wait! Wait just a minute!" Naruto shouted, stamping his foot and glaring at the Hyuuga's prodigy. "What do you mean, become the Hyuuga Head!" he demanded, pointing at the white eyed young man forcefully.
"Well, technically that will be Hinata-sama. But since you will be marrying her, that makes you, at least in part, Clan Head." Neji explain, brushing off a bit of dirt from his robes. White was such a pain to clean sometimes.
"What!" Naruto blinked again, shaking his head violently. "What the Hell do you mean, marrying Hinata! I just went on one date with her!"
Neji's eyes narrowed, and Naruto could practically see the killing intent that was radiating off of the other boy. "You will marry Hinata-sama." He dictated sternly.
"This better not be any of that destiny crap again!" the blonde snarled, fists clenched. He really didn't want to beat the hell out of Neji to get him to change his thinking again.
"No. But if you don't, I will kill you." Neji said casually, as Naruto's jaw dropped. "And if I fail, then Hiashi-sama will. If by some chance you escape him, the rest of the Hyuuga clan will murder you eventually."
"Erm... uh..." Naruto, for once, was at a loss for words.
It was a profound moment.
"Neji-niisan! Don't hurt him!" Hinata practically shouted (because shrieking simply does not become a Hyuuga), throwing herself in front of Naruto.
"I didn't... much." Neji said placidly.
Naruto scowled. The crushing pain in his chest and aching in his body said different.
"Oh, and Naruto?" the blonde looked up. "Just one more thing."
Neji looked smug. Far too smug.
"Just know that the Gentle Fist affects all tenketsu... and that there are tenketsu everywhere on the body." The Hyuuga's prodigy smirked in a way that would make an Uchiha jealous. "Everywhere."
The point of the threat was obvious. And it was driven home by Neji's pointed look in a significant part of the blonde's body.
Naruto resisted the urge to cover his... assets, and settled for a whimper and a nod.
Then Neji smiled in a terrifying manner befitting the cat that caught the mouse.
"Just a friendly warning."
I finally managed to get this out. I absolutely adore older brother stories, being one myself. And the thought of Neji doing it...
Well, it's just too good to pass up.
I might write a second one, involving Naruto and Hiashi.
I'm quite mean to Naruto sometimes...