Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine and all that jazz.
A/N: Because Anko/Iruka is my favorite crack!pairing. Warning- pointlessness and drunk Iruka ahead.
"And what was the Shodai Hokage's speciality?" Iruka asked, trying his best not to look annoyed as he received blank stares in return.
He eyed the crowd, ready to pick the one who looked the most slack jawed. Today, it appeared that Konohamaru was the current offender, taking after Naruto in more ways that he knew.
"Kono-" before he could finish his sentence, the ending bell rang, dismissing the class.
Before the chuunin could stop anyone from leaving, there was a mad dash for the door, accompanied with a frenzied amount of talking and shouting.
"-hamaru." Iruka finished, rolling his eyes. Sometimes, he was annoyed to remember that teaching generally did not garner much respect from the students. At least when it came to history.
"Really, I'm surprised you can put up with that kind of shit all day." A bored drawl echoed out from the door, against which leaned a certain special jounin.
"Anko? What are you doing here?" the purple haired jounin was known for her odd quirks, but she was also adverse to coming within fifty feet of the Academy.
The special jounin merely smiled oddly. "I thought I'd drop by." She said simply.
Iruka raised an eyebrow at that. He had talked with the young woman on a few occasions- not too often, but he tried to include in her in conversations when he could. Watching her stand away from the others, the outsider, made him remember Naruto.
But he had never once thought she'd simply stop by the Academy on a whim.
"Right." The chuunin shuffled the papers on the desk, reminding himself that he had to give kunai lessons tomorrow.
Anko continued to smile. "You doing anything important?" she asked whimsically.
Iruka shook his head, straightening out the papers. "No. Tonight's my night off."
"How about that." Anko said thoughtfully. "Mine too. Do you want to go out somewhere?"
Iruka thought about asking if this was a date, but decided that would probably make him sound like a panicky schoolboy. "Sure." He said, shrugging. It was a damn sight better than eating at home alone.
They go to the Ichiraku and Iruka insists on paying. He's gotten used to paying for Naruto's meals, and he really does love Ichiraku ramen- just not on the scale that the blonde boy does.
Anko seems to be more flattered than affronted by the gesture- most kunoichi nowadays dislike feeling like they're being treated special or different.
Ichiraku himself looks extremely amused when he sees an attractive young woman with the chuunin who only ever seems to bring Naruto to the stand. He passes Iruka two bowls, on the house, simply because they look like a nice couple and Iruka paying for Naruto is making the man a fortune.
As the special jounin slurps down her noodles, she glances at Iruka. "You come here a lot, with that Uzumaki brat?" it's more rhetorical than it is questioning, but the chuunin answers all the same.
"Yeah." He laughs, in between noodles. "It's nice, not having to worry that my paycheck won't cover the whole meal."
Anko grins. "You're really a damn nice guy, you know that?" Iruka looked at her, bewildered. "Not a lot of people'd take the time to take care of a loud little prick like that, especially not..." she trails off.
Iruka knows what she's saying. He's dealt with it before. "Naruto's really a good kid, underneath all that... loudness." He finishes weakly, smiling, missing the strange look Anko gives him.
"Do you want to hit a bar?"
Somewhere between the second and fourth beer, Iruka starts to fear that he's drunk.
"Am I drunk?" he asks, hoping that wasn't a slur in his voice.
Anko grinned at him, and he was quite sure that his breath hitched.
"If you can ask that, not yet." Anko replied, passing him another beer. He's not sure how many she's had, but her alcohol tolerance is legendary among the older ninja.
He takes a sip, and looks at her. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you trying to get me drunk?" the chuunin asks, hoping to sound sly.
Anko smirks, and her tongue dances on the edge of her lips appealingly. "That's quite a conjecture, teacher." She says airily, taking a long swig of her own beer. "Are you implying that I am attempting to make you inebriated and then ravish you mercilessly in a drunken one night stand?"
Iruka blinked. "Yeah." He said, after a moment.
"Well..." Anko polished off her alcohol with a satisfied smirk, "What if I was?"
Iruka paused, and looked at her. "You know, you're very... Naruto-ish."
The special jounin looks mildly offended, arching a single eyebrow. "I'm not sure how to take that comment, being compared to that loud prick of a ninja."
"No, no." Iruka corrected himself, waving his hand. "I meant that you always look alone. It's sad."
"What, do you pity poor old me?" she asked sarcastically, a dangerous undercurrent to her voice, like a riled serpent.
"No." Iruka said firmly, shaking his head. "I understand you."
Anko blinks at that one, looking mildly flabbergasted. The dusty pink on her cheeks is not from the alcohol.
Iruka finished his beer. "But... there's one thing I like more about you than Naruto." He grinned drunkenly. "You're prettier."
Anko laughed at that. "Now, Iruka, you're drunk. But you're a damn nice guy all the same." And so she pulls him from his stool, dropping the money for the beer on the counter, and practically pulls him out of the bar.
And the second they were out of there she kissed him, hard, grabbing the edges of his chuunin vest and pulling him toward her, and Iruka wasn't so much kissing back as he was attempting to discern where his hands could and couldn't go.
Anko remedied that problem, grabbing his hands and practically telling him where they would go.
Somewhere between the kissing and the groping, Iruka asks, "Why?"
Anko pulls away for a moment, and he wonders if he's done something wrong. He's reassured when she smiles, because she's beautiful in that moment and in all moments. "Because."
A moment later, he finds that Anko is whispering into his ear.
"Your place or mine?"
And the reason why doesn't sound all that important anymore.
The last thing he thinks about before Anko becomes everything, is that he's damn glad it's Saturday tomorrow.