Disclaimer- You know the drill. Naruto's not mine.

A/N: Written for the "Making Friends" prompt at Dialogue 500.

"Hn. You'd be Hoshigaki Kisame of the Hidden Mist's Seven Swordsmen, then?"

"And you must be the infamous Uchiha Itachi, mass murderer of his own clan. Welcome to Akatsuki, kid."

"Do not call me kid."

"Ooh. Touchy. Hn... that must be the Sharingan, the Uchiha's famous bloodline limit... or, more precisely, now your bloodline limit."

"That would be correct."

"Ha! Well, you might have those freaky eyes, but all I need is right here. This here is Samehada. Samehada, say hello to Uchiha Itachi, my new partner."

"An interesting weapon... it drains chakra?"

"My, my, the Hidden Mist were right to say that the Sharingan is terrifying. You can actually see what it can do, can't you?"

"Yes."

"Not exactly a chatty fellow, are you?"

"I find words are pointless most of the time. Actions are more important."

"Well, you'll find I'm very good at action."

"I've no doubt. I have, after all, read what's in the bingo book about you, the Mysterious Person from the Hidden Mist."

"Bingo book, huh? Just what rank were you, anyway? Chuunin?"

"I was an ANBU Captain before I left the Hidden Leaf."

"Gah... Uh... well... Impressive."

"Hn. Not really. I found ANBU work to be boring and tedious after a while."

"You're a strange one, you know that?"

"Hn. I merely wish to test my limits. Akatsuki has promised me some interesting ways to do so."

"The Bijuu?"

"Yes."

"Which one have you been assigned to?"

"Kyubi no Youma."

"Gah! What... that's... that's the strongest of them all... and you're the newest member..."

"Hn. The Kyubi no Youma is sealed in a jinchuriki named Uzumaki Naruto. He's, from what I can recall, the worst student in the Academy. He should be no problem at all."

"Ah. So the Kyubi no Youma is within the Hidden Leaf currently... how did you come by this information?"

"As an ANBU Captain, I was informed of it."

"Right. Well, if he is in the Leaf, then why didn't the leader simply assign Orochimaru to the task?"

"Orochimaru is here? Orochimaru of the Legendary Sannin?"

"Yeah. Creepy bastard, really. Sort of like you."

"I do not know why I have been assigned Kyubi. But I will do the task assigned to me."

"No need to sound so mechanical, ki-Itachi. Besides, I'm your partner now. You're not doing this one alone."

"Hn."

"How about we be friends, eh? You're not nearly as bad as some of the others in Akatsuki, like Orochimaru or Sasori. Goddamn they're weird. Snake freaks and puppet masters with an obsession for art... blech."

"Friends?"

"Well, maybe not friends. We're all missing nin who've committed violent, heinous crimes that we had to leave our villages for, after all. But I'll watch your back, if you watch mine."

"That is... acceptable, I suppose."

"Excellent!"

"Don't touch me."