Authors Notes: Not HBP compliant. This is not beta read. I tried to fix all the mistakes but I'm not sure if I got them all. This has hints of slash. Just a brief warning. Nothing graphic. There is also character death. Lots of them. You have been warned.
Oh, by the way. I don't own anyone here! There is a list of people who do but I ain't one of them! Hope you enjoy and let me know if you do. Wink wink
It's very late at night but there are no stars in the sky and clouds cover the full moon. Suddenly the wind howls, almost as if it is something alive, and in pain. The young man shivers and pulls the cloak tighter about himself, trying to hold off a chill that comes from within. The pain he hears he can relate to. He knows the feeling; it's been so long since he didn't feel it. He comes to the entrance and stops. He doesn't want to go back, but it's required. Every night at twelve midnight he must be here. He doesn't understand the pull, but he feels it. Feels it so strongly, almost like it's part of himself. He can feel the call and it spurs him on. Taking a deep breath, he enters and finds that it looks the same as it did last night, and the night before that.
Why is he here? Will he not be granted absolution? Doesn't he deserve it? The wind howls the answer. No it seems to scream at him you do not. You did this! But you can't fix it; it cannot be fixed! He walks on trying to understand. He wants to understand why; he needs to. He can feel it, burning inside of him, tearing him apart like some living thing. It drives him to go faster; run the wind and beast scream, run! He stops. He doesn't understand but he wants to so bad. The pain is tremendous and just getting worse as he walks. The stones that each hold so many memories, so much to just be conveyed by what is at just the surface. He doesn't understand. Why dose he do this to himself. Not that he has a choice. He stops beside one and he remembers.
It was dark and the moon was out. It was almost full. Spells were flying all around. Death Eaters and Order members alike were falling. The Ministry hasn't gotten here yet. He is working the crowd looking for Voldemort. He has to find him and end it. Too many have died so far. It needs to stop. Soon. He sees Draco and his father dueling. Malfoy Sr. gets in as Cratus and Draco goes down screaming.
"Draco!" He shouts running his direction, blasting everyone out of his way.
As he gets closer he casts the killing curse and hits his mark. He kneels down beside his ally and pulls him close. It is worse than he thought. He was hit with several cutting hexes and he lost too much blood. He will not make it. It was just a matter of how much pain he wanted to be in.
"Dray." He whispered. "I am so sorry. I promised to watch your back and I failed, now you are dying."
"It is alright… you were just doing what you had to Harry. You must make me one promise. You must promise me you will kill him. Kill the monster who took wayay my mother." He said tears streaming. "I will join her with no regrets."
"How much pain do you want to be in?" He asked quietly.
"I hurt so much Harry and I have quite some time left."
"I can ease that pain. Do you want me to?" He asked softly.
Harry leaned down and kissed his forehead and then snapped his neck.
He pulled himself out of the memory and thought. I really didn't know him all that well and now I really regret that. He was a great man and I know he could have been even greater. He moved on to the next grave. Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody. He sighed and let the memory take him.
It was very late and clouds were moving in to cover the moon. He was still looking for lord of the snakes. He saw Mad-Eye in a duel with masked Death Eaters. He didn't know who they were but Mad-Eye was holding his own against four of them. Suddenly a killing cures flew in from behind him and he fell before anyone could act.
He pulled himself out of the memory. Not as exciting as Dray's but even more upsetting. I really was coming to love that man. He thought. He taught me the skills I used to get out of that battle and later used to claim his spot as the best Auror of the century. He sighted and moved on to the next graves.
Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger Weasley. These were two of the most painful. He tried to fight the memory, but, just like every night, it took him.
"Hey mate, look you can do this." Ron said his hand on his mates shoulder. "Just find Voldemort and end this. I know you can do this. I trust you. I'll see you when this is over. In this life or the next one." With that Ron ran into the already raging battle. After it was over he was walking through the bodies trying to help the medi-withches and wizards. He found Ron lying face down over the lifeless body of Hermione. He died trying to save the one he loved.
He pulled himself out of that memory. He couldn't bear to remember. He doesn't even know what happened or who killed them. He sighed and moved on to the next one. Ginny.
She was with the other medi- staff trying to repair all the damage she could and then send them back out. A blasting hex was sent at the tent they were working from. The whole thing collapsed. He ran over and started pulling people out. He got to Ginny. She had been pinned to the ground with a tent post through her chest. He flung himself at her side in time to hear her say gasping for breath, "you get him. I know you can. End this and avenge us all. I have no regrets. End this and live your life."
He continued walking. He didn't want to see anymore but he couldn't help it. It was with him no matter where he went. But damn it he couldn't take his. But no one was listening. He glanced down at the next one. Charlie Weasley.
Charlie came in when it was almost over. He and his mates had finally come. They were herding the dragons. They herded them into the battle fighting the ones Voldy brought. He was caught in the cross fire. He was burned to death.
'I didn't even see that one. That was from intelligence I gathered. He died like a hero anyway.' He thought as he moved on. Remus Lupin. He shouldn't have even been there. That night was a full moon and he was, once again, in the Shrieking Shack.
We didn't even know he was there until it was too late. We don't even know what side killed him. He hadn't taken the Wolfsbane so he didn't have his mind. The morning after all the werewolves changed back and we could see who they were. Remus was lying among them.
'I didn't even know he was there until I was told. I never saw Remus again. Damn man I miss you.' He thought as the stared down at the grave that brought back so many memories.
He moved on. The next grave belonged to Dumbledore. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
He was fighting Voldemort and Dumbledore was trying to keep all the death Eaters away who were trying to help their master. He wasn't paying much attention to Albus. He was focusing on Tom. He needed to end this. He wasn't doing much.
"Focus on love! The love you have for your friends and family and the love they have for you! You can do this my boy. I know you can!" Albus called out. Just as he shot the killing cures at Tom a Death Eater shot one at Albus. He never saw it coming. The look of pride was still on his face as he fell. He turned his wand on the Death Eater who killed his surrogate Grandfather. He killed all those around them. He remembered the words Albus had spoken earlier. "I love you my boy. Never forget that. I am proud of you always." So remembering that he had knelt down beside him and whispered, "I love you to Granddad." He stood up and whipped a teardrop from his face and got back in the battle.
He pulled himself out of one of the most painful memories. He loved that man dearly. He sighed knowing that the worst was yet to come and he was alone to face it. He tried to stay where he was but he could not. His love would not let him. He trudged forward. When he got beside the next and last headstone he fell to his knees sobbing.
William Weasley. 'Bill, my Bill.'
The battle was over and the screams of the dying still ringing out, calling, begging for help. He was offering what he could but he was looking for Bill. He saw a patch of red hair and he started to run. He looked down on Bills bloody face. His breathing was labored. Bill was dying. He fell to his knees beside him. He lifted Bills upper body hoping that that would help him breath. "We need a medic!" He screamed desperately. "No. It's too late for me love." Bill rasped out.
"No. You can't leave me. I need you. Please don't give up. You can't leave me."
"Shhh." Bill reached up and gently stroked his cheek. "I'm sorry love."
"No!" He cried desperately. "No don't leave me. I can't do it alone. I can't live alone."
"You will never be alone. I will always be with you. I love you." Bill took one last shuddering breath then went limp in his arms.
He sat there rocking his love back and forth pleading for him to come back. He stopped crying and gently brushed his hair back from his face. He placed one last light kiss on his lips then laid him down. He stood up slowly, tears still dripping down his face. And he turned away.
He was on his knees beside Bills grave, sobbing. "No. How dare you leave me! How dare you! I need you! Pleas don't do this. Don't leave me like this." He was rocking back and forth the pain finally over coming him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice gently calling him.
He tried to ignore the voice but when he didn't respond a hand gently cupped his chin and forced his head up. His eyes met dark brown concerned eyes.
"Kingsley." He sobbed out.
He felt the black Auror pull him into his arms. He was rocked back and forth gently.
"Harry," He heard his name spoken softly, tenderly by his partner. "Shhh, I've got you. Shhh now, I'm here." He felt Kingsley's hand running up and down his back in rhythm with the rocking. He let himself be held like he hadn't been in over two years. He sobbed like he hadn't since that night. He cried for his friends who had lost their lives. He cried for those who were in St. Mungos with nothing of their minds. Fred and George where among them. They were no longer the fun loving twins. They didn't even know they were twins. He couldn't hold back anymore and he didn't want to.
"That's it. Let it out. You're not alone. You are never alone."
"Kingsley why does it still hurt so much?" He cried.
"You haven't let yourself grieve Harry. That's the only way you will heal. This will bring healing. And in time, the pain will fade. I promise you that. But I also promise you that you are not alone. I'm here and I will be as I should have been from the beginning. You'll make it through. I'll help you make it through."
He slowly stopped crying but he didn't move from the strong arms that held him against a firm chest. He was falling asleep but he knew he couldn't.
"It's okay, sleep. I'll get us home."
He felt himself being gently lifted and he snuggled deeper into the chest he was cradled against. "Sleep Love. I've got you." Was the last thing he heard before falling into a peaceful blackness.
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Till next time