AN: You might have noticed that this chapter is really short. It is the last chapter... I had sort of intended to make the fifth chapter the last and I thought that I could pull off one more chapter but no matter how much I wrote, I was never satisifed. with it. Three re-writes! Three! And this one is the one I am very happy with, despite it's length. I know it seems rushed but I sort of had a rule that smut shouldn't appear more than once in a story before it turns into unpretentious penthouse letter material and that wasn't what I had wanted for this story.
Thank you to everyone who faithfully stuck with it, despite my slow updates. >.> I appreciate all the feedback that I got from this story... I hope that I will see you all again soon. X3 hugs and smewches to you all!
You are like a flower
That bloomed in a dark shadow
Even though you're in a place you didn't wish to be,
You can't move because of your roots
Just spit out your closed-up feelings
I'll accept all of your pain and suffering
So please don't cry
Please smile, single flower
Ichirin no Hana
By High and Mighty Color
I was still at a loss of words from what happened. I sighed and leaned heavily against my hand, elbow planted firmly on the table that filled the distance between us. Sasuke sat with his coffee in the same state as mine, untouched. Neither of us wanted to move, I think it was out of fear of shattering the delicate peace between us. Dueling emotions battled in my brain, one wanted to be left alone to think the situation out in full, while the other wanted to crawl across the table and have a recap of the night's events. So far, the first was winning and I was embarrassed to think that Sasuke could pick up on it.
I hadn't bothered to put on a shirt, as it was hot out I wore only my pyjama pants. Sasuke was just as naked, sitting at my kitchen table with just his pants on. From where I was sitting, I could still see where his clothes had been abandoned the night before.
"Are you regretting what happened?"
I stared at him and debated telling him the truth. Since it was against my nature to lie, I gave a small nod.
Why, indeed. I pondered that question as I finally picked up my abandoned cup and sipped the now frigid coffee. My regret stemmed from fear. That was as far as I could understand it. Fear from what? The logical part of my brain asked me but I couldn't think of an answer. "What now?" I blurted and realized after asking it, that that was the answer to my fear.
A fine, dark eyebrow lifted over serious eyes. "That's a stupid question, dobe."
"Why is that so stupid?" I snapped, suddenly hating that patronizing tone he always talked to me in. How could I think that things would change after what had just happened? This was Sasuke I was talking about. He didn't change unless it was his inclination to do so and he wasn't much inclined to do anything.
"You always ask stupid questions and for someone who is supposed to be brave, you get scared over the dumbest things." Sasuke's words needled me. "And that last one is just a recent development."
"Shut up, bastard." I snapped, slamming my cup down on the table. I wanted to fight him. I wanted to kick his ass. I wanted to tear him apart but at the same time, I wanted to kiss the little wrinkle he got between his eyebrows when he became sardonic.
He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his naked chest. "Things will never change, will they, dobe?"
"No." I huffed, but glad that I had said so.
"I don't want things to change. So I guess in saying that, the 'What now?' question is a bit stupid, right?"
"I guess." I muttered, still avoiding his eye. Was that what I really wanted? I wanted Sasuke to go on his merry way without a price to pay for the things we've done. There was an irrevocable turn in our sordid friendship and he wanted to deny it. A piece of me wanted to deny it too, go back to the ways I was accustomed to but that would never create change and if one thing was painfully apparent to me, it was that things needed to change. It is human nature to avoid change at all costs, to dislike and perhaps even fear the unknown, but I couldn't allow this occasion to go unnoticed. I stared at Sasuke, watching him as he stared impassively at the cup his hands were curled around.
"I can't accept it, Sasuke." I blurted.
He looked up and frowned. "What?"
"There's a price to pay for what we just did… and I have to pay it. We both do. We can't pretend that nothing happened."
"So what do you want from me, Naruto? My undying confession of love?" His eyes flashed angrily, "My soul? My body? My every thought and the spaces between it?" He yelled.
I stood up and leaned heavily on the table, glaring at him. "So what if I do?" My gaze narrowed, I could feel the heat of anger flushing my skin. "You just want to be fuck buddies? You come over here and use me whenever you get that itch? I think I deserve better than that--- we both do."
The chair fell backwards and crashed to the ground; Sasuke was stalking across the floor and scooping up his clothing as he went. I got up, anticipating his route to the door and threw a hand out, slamming him in the chest harder than I had intended. He reeled backwards out of shock and stood glaring at me, his chest heaving in indignation. "I'm not letting you out of here." I bit out, unable to unclench my jaw as anger surged over me. I narrowed my eyes and reigned in my rage. "Drop me like dead weight the moment you get scared."
"I'm not scared. You are being a woman." He crossed his arms over his naked chest, resuming his usual 'better than thou' stance, stare included.
"You don't know how to do anything but use people for your own means!" I snapped back, the skin over my knuckles itched to connect with the proud jut of his chin.
He erased the distance between us with three sweeping steps and his chest hit mine, slamming me back against the table. I reached backwards to brace myself as one of his hands came up and caught my chin, forcing me to face him. He was angry, his eyes glinted scarlet as he fought the vehemence riding through his blood. "I can't get you out of my head. I haven't been able to get you out of my head since I saw you down on the dock years ago. I have loved you from that moment on. I can't stand the thought of you touching anyone else." With each confession, he shook my head and tightened his grip until finally I couldn't keep from wincing. My hands seemed to be cemented to the worn surface of my table, I found myself unable to move. "Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Is that what you wanted to hear? I've been obsessing about you since I laid eyes on you." His mouth crashed down on me, bruising my lips as his hips pinned mine against the table. It wasn't a sweet kiss; there was a pent up frustration and a fury that flayed my senses and dominated any reasoning that threatened to blossom in my brain.
My reality seemed to tilt on its axis and everything went sliding off. I found myself pinned down on the table by Sasuke, his hands yanking away my pants. "S-sasuke!" I gritted out, too scared to say anything else.
A hand clamped over my mouth as he pushed himself into me, heedless of the damage that he could have caused us both. I bucked back against the pain that went off like fireworks in my brain. Our breath mingled, raspy gasps of pain turned to soft moans as his body slammed into mine in a ruthless, careless rhythm. Hands combed roughly through my hair, yanking it hard and forcing my head back to bare the entire length of my throat to his hot mouth.
His teeth clamped down on my pulse as his hips worked furiously. I was going to have bruises across my backside as the table gouged me. I didn't care. The pain seemed to lose it's potency in the rush of passion that washed over us both.
"Mine." He growled against my skin, his body convulsing as he succumbed to orgasm. I could feel the hot warmth of his seed spread over my body. I lay holding him, shivering in the face of such a violent display of emotion. Unaware of the tears that spilled down my cheeks until a hand brushed them away, I looked up into dark eyes that were still serious and held only a glint of anger. "This is what you've done to me. I've been turned into a monster by every person I've loved and why should you be any different." He whispered softly, pulling away from me.
"Shut up with that bullshit!" I barked, lashing out with every intention of punching him. I was surprised that I had gotten a hit in, since I was in such a weak and emotional state. He doubled over my fist and dropped to his knees, gasping for air. "Don't talk to me of monsters. You have a choice to be human or a monster. It's easier and less painful for you to become a monster in order to protect yourself. You are so fucking selfish. You always have been. Everything has been about you and what you want." I stood naked, aroused and sticky with things that shouldn't be mentioned but hardly vulnerable. I glared down my nose at him as he stood, weaving on his feet. "At least you have a fucking choice." I shoved him.
He fell backwards and as he did, grabbed my wrist to yank me down with him. We hit the floor painfully, elbows, knees and heads smashing into the floor. When finally the inertia stopped, we lay listening to each other's breath. My chest felt tight. My body felt flushed and thoroughly abused. I wanted a shower but I couldn't move. I didn't want to in fear of giving him the opportunity to walk out without being convinced of my feelings. "Alright, Naruto. Shut up. Stop bitching at me. You are such a fucking woman." He scoffed, his hands gently pushing away the hair that hung limply over my forehead.
I pushed myself away from him and stood up, glaring down at him contemptuously. "You really are a sanctimonious bastard."
"And your point is what?" He sniffed, looking more like a cat whose tail had just been stepped on rather than a man who had confessed his undying love for me.
"Ungrateful bastard." I looked over my shoulder as my hands danced across the wheals the corner of the table had left. A hand caught mine, his lips pressed against one large welt, causing the blood that wasn't already in my nether regions to make a beeline in that direction.
I realized something, then and dropped to my knees. "Since you said it, I guess I got to say it too, huh?" I asked.
"Che, like I need any reassurance from an idiot like you."
Crossing my arms, I nudged him with my shoulder and was suddenly very aware of our naked state and my rather aroused one. I shifted uncomfortably. "I hate you."
"Fine by me, moron." He muttered, his mouth painting a hot path from collarbone to…