Title: Anzu the Therapist
Part: 1/1
Author: DaakuKitsune
Warnings: Possessive!Yami, Perverted!Yami, Possessive!Yuugi, OOC!Anzu ((but fun OOC)), Brainwashed!Anzu (hence the OOC), Lime, mentions of voyeurism and masturbation, lemon-ness at the end.
Genre: Humor
Pairings: YxY
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I own nuzzin, except for ze plot! Yez! There iz a plot, you silly person!
Description: Anzu has finally been brainwashed by the teacher from hell! She 'learns' that her best friend's relationship isn't healthy! Thus, she sets out to fix them! Because if she doesn't, where will she get her daily dose of yaoi! But Yami and Yuugi like their relationship the way it is.

Notes:
--Yami's Personal Thoughts--
-Yuugi's Personal Thoughts-
((-Yami to Yuugi via mindlink-))
(-Yuugi to Yami via mindlink-)
-x-x-Line Break-x-x-

No, Anzu is not a horrible bitch who is out to separate Yami and Yuugi in this story. Frankly, I have no idea exactly what she wants to do to 'save' their relationship. x3

-x-x-x-x-x-START-x-x-x-x-x-

Anzu the Therapist

"So class, as you can see, jealous love--or possessive love, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship."

Anzu stared up at the teacher with a blank look. The only expression was the occasional twitch of her left eye.

She was in the dreaded Family Dynamics class. Yes, the one class that bored the students to tears, then warped their way of thinking.

All the other kids in Anzu's class were too far gone to save. The only thing keeping Anzu sane (and unbrainwashed) was the fact that the course made no mention of same sex relationships. It was all het.

Anzu felt the by now familiar twitch of her left eye. What about the shounen-ai and shoujo-ai fanpeople! Or the people that were actually gay...

Why did they get no mention!

Anzu would have said something, in fact she came close to saying something, but as one the mass turned towards her and stared. With blank, beady, doll eyes.

Suffice to say, like any normal person, Anzu was scared, disturbed, creeped out, and all that other jazz.

So to keep her sanity when she was sure the teacher and the brainwashed students wouldn't see, she looked at her cell phone.

Her cell phone with picture capabilities that had pictures of all her friends.

...In intimate positions with their boyfriends.

Of course, her friends had no idea of Anzu's somewhat recent interest in...voyeurism.

It started around the time all ten of her guy friends told her they were gay...and going out with each other. Once assured she in no-way minded their sexual preferences, they didn't mind making-out in front of her.

It was that day, Anzu discovered something that would forever change her life.

Anzu liked seeing boys kiss other boys.

She especially liked it when they went farther than kissing...like groping...hips grinding...tongues exploring other places than mouths...clothes being ripped asunder...

Anzu couldn't suppress a shudder. Okay, maybe it was slightly perverted to watch her friends going at it, but damnit! She was a teenage girl with 10 gay friends! How could she not spy!

SMACK!

With a yelp Anzu dropped her cell phone (thankfully she hadn't looked at any pictures yet) and jumped back.

Not that she got very far seeing as she was sitting in a desk.

Gulping, Anzu slowly looked up to meet the smiling-way-to-cheerful-must-be-a-robot-smile of her teacher, who had apparently, smacked a ruler on Anzu's desk.

"Anzu-chan!" Her teacher chirped happily, creeping Anzu out further. "You weren't paying attention were you?"

The voice of her teacher was friendly. One would think the teacher was nice, except that she looked like some creepy-robot-thing out of stepford. Bleached blonde hair that fell in waves to her waist (too perfect to be natural), a figure to perfect to be natural, blue eyes that looked like she either had implants or wore contacts and the always smiling I-just-had-a-botox-injection-smile.

Anzu gulped as she looked at her teacher with fearful eyes. "Aah... S-sorry Mrs. Smith."

Mrs. Smith put her hands on her hips and pouted. Anzu cringed. "Well then Anzu-chan! You'll just have to stay after with me!" She giggled like some horrible Barbie clone.

Anzu couldn't hold back a whimper. The bell rang, signaling the end of the day, and the brainwashed students left smiling and wishing Mrs. Smith a good day. As soon as they left, Mrs. Smith turned to Anzu and smiled.

Smiled like an evil Barbie clone.

Anzu whimpered again...

"Help me..." she whispered in a meek voice.

"I plan to help you help Anzu-chan!" Her teacher chirped.

"Yuugi..."

-x-x-x-x-x-

In the courtyard, hidden from view from the masses by a big oak tree, Yuugi paused in mid make-out session with his boyfriend-slash-other self. He was lying on top of his Yami in a very suggestive position, both their hair and clothes were messed up.

Yuugi's lips were swollen and he had several red marks on his neck. His shirt was half-way off and his pants were unbuttoned, unzipped and coming off his hips. Yami's shirt was completely off and he looked very annoyed at the stoppage in their activities.

"Aibou? What's wrong?" Yami couldn't help the fact that his voice sounded husky. He wanted some damnit.

"My Anzu-senses are tingling."

Yami groaned, and not in the way he wished he could be groaning.

"Can't it wait?" Yami asked, giving his aibou the 'bedroom eyes' and licking his lips seductively.

"But Anzu could be in danger!"

"Anzu is always in danger..." Yami muttered with a sulk. He had no chance of seducing his aibou until his little one was assured their friend was okay.

"Yaaamiii! Anzu-senses!"

Yami sighed. "Fine, fine. Let's go."

Yuugi beamed at his Yami and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. Yami's efforts to turn the kiss into a more passionate one failed miserably.

When his 'Anzu-senses' tingled, Yuugi could not be appeased until he knew his childhood friend was safe.

As his aibou fixed his clothes and hair, Yami searched out his shirt and put it back on. It was a bit difficult to walk in his suddenly constricting pants, but Yami knew his aibou would make it up to him.

He smirked predatorily with the thought.

Vague ideas of a bed, chains, whip-cream, and a writhing Yuugi pleading and begging as Yami pounded into--

Yami inhaled sharply to disperse that train of thought. Much as he enjoyed it, it didn't help the situation with his pants.

-x-x-x-x-x-

"So you see Anzu-chan?" Mrs. Smith asked.

Anzu nodded her head fervently. "Yes! I must save my friends from their possessive love!"

Anzu jumped from her seat and ran out the door. Mrs. Smith smiled her evil-Barbie-clone-smile.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Anzuuuuuuu! Where are yooouuu?" Yuugi half-shouted as their scoured the school.

Yami just sighed. He had stopped in a bathroom earlier and taken care of his...problem.

Yami was pouting inwardly and sulking outwardly.

-x-x-x-Flashback-x-x-x-

"Aibou, why don't we take a break?" Yami purred wrapping his arms around his petit lover from behind.

"But Yami! Anzu-senses!" Yuugi said as he turned the puppy-eyes on his Yami.

Yami's eye twitched, knowing he had no chance.

"Fine, but I need to... make a rest stop." Yami said seductively, thrusting his hips into Yuugi's back to illustrate this point.

Yuugi couldn't help but moan at the contact. But the firm tingling in his brain reminded him his childhood friend was in danger.

So, as much as he wanted to help, he knew he couldn't.

"There's a bathroom over there Yami-chan. Go sort out your... problem and I'll keep looking!"

Yuugi then wiggled out of Yami's grasp and jogged off to keep looking for the elusive Anzu.

Yami watched the way Yuugi's ass moved as he jogged, then he grudgingly went into the bathroom to sort out his 'problem.' Alone.

-x-x-x-End Flashback-x-x-x-

Yami was now with his aibou once again, as they resumed the hunt.

--If Anzu isn't in mortal peril when we find her so help me I'll...--

"ANZZUUU! YAMI THERE SHE IS!" Yuugi shouted, interrupting his Yami's mental rant by deafening him.

Yuugi had been standing less than two feet away from Yami when he yelled.

Yuugi ran towards his friend, relieved that she was okay. But also slightly worried. -Why did my Anzu-senses go off if she's okay?-

Yami, as before, had to pause to watch the way Yuugi's ass moved before following.

He glared at Anzu, demanding to know why she was in no danger.

Anzu blinked and stared at them both with blank, beady eyes. Yuugi whimpered and clung to his Yami. Yami wrapped his hands around Yuugi in a possessive manner.

"AH-HA!" Anzu suddenly shouted causing Yuugi to eep and jump against Yami.

...not that Yami minded the feeling of his aibou jumping against him.

"You two are in a state of what is known as 'Jealous, or Possessive Love.' This is dangerous! If you continue down this path of unperfect love, you're relationship will DIE! DIE I SAAAYYY!" Anzu pointed a finger accusingly at Yami and his aibou.

(-Yami? What's wrong with Anzu!-)

((-I do not know aibou. Perhaps this is a clone?-))

(-Nu-uh! Anzu-senses say that's Anzu!-)

((-Brainwashing then?-))

(-Oh no! That's right! She has that one class with the scary-stepford-lady! That lady must have brainwashed Anzu!-)

((-Hn.-))

(-Yami-chan?-)

((-Yes aibou?-))

(-You could be a little more concerned for Anzu.-)

"STOP THAT!" A sudden shout brought the two game masters from their mental conversation. "You two are plotting to be possessive and jealous in your love! That will make your love DIE! I MUST SAVE YOUR LOOOOOOVVVVEEE!"

Yuugi gulped. "O-okay Anzu...just calm down. Now, uh, how are you going to 'save our love?' "

((-Aibou...-))

(-Just go along with it until we can find a way to reverse it.-)

"I will be... YOUR MARRIAGE COUNSELOR-SLASH-THERAPIST!"

((-How can she yell so much? Shouldn't her throat hurt by now?-))

"Okay Anzu... uhm... let's start?" Yuugi said, pointedly ignoring Yami's mindlink comments.

"Not here!" Anzu declared, looking very proud of herself. "This isn't the proper atmosphere!"

Grabbing the two boys' hands, she sped off in the direction of her house.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Yami, Yuugi, and Anzu were all seated in Anzu's living room. The furniture had been arranged so that two squishy, red chairs sat on one side of the coffee table, and another squishy, red chair sat opposite. Anzu had a clipboard and pen and was sitting in the one, while Yuugi and his Yami were sitting in the two side-by-side. Anzu had somehow attained a pair of thick glasses with a beaded chain and was wearing it like a necklace. She would occasionally put the glasses on, realize she couldn't see, and take them off again.

The three sat in silence while Anzu scribbled something on the clipboard.

((-Aibou, does she realize she has no paper?-))

(-...I don't think so.-)

((-Aibou...I think she's drawing stick figures on the clipboard.-))

(-...-)

((-Aibou?-))

(-Yami I'm scared.-)

((-Fear not aibou! No matter what I will protect you!-))

Yami smiled reassuringly at his little one. Yuugi smiled back, albeit a bit shyly.

Anzu loudly cleared her throat, effectively ruining the building mood.

Yami glowered at Anzu, the only thing keeping him from sending her to the shadow realm being the fact that Yuugi would not like it.

And when Yami did things Yuugi didn't like, Yami usually had to sleep on the couch.

...and make more trips to the bathroom.

"Now," Anzu began. "You two are entirely too possessive of each other! That is a sign of an unhealthy relationship! Also, you are too physical." She nodded solemnly. "But, worry not! These problems are not unfixable."

Yami continued to glare at Anzu. "I like being possessive of my aibou." He growled out.

"Yami-chan!" (-We're here to help Anzu.-)

Yami snorted, but said no more.

"Okay," Anzu continued as if there had been no interruption. "I want you to each list each others faults. Yami, you go first."

The glare he gave her was so fierce, that even in her brainwashed-state she cringed back in fear.

"Are you suggesting," Yami growled, his third eye glowing, "That my aibou is imperfect?"

Anzu shook her head 'no' very, very, very, very, very, very, very quickly.

Yami settled down somewhat. Somewhat meaning that his third eye disappeared but he continued to glower at Anzu.

"Uhm, okay..." Anzu said nervously, "What about you Yuugi?"

Yuugi blinked. He looked at his Yami and cocked his head to the side, thinking.

Yami marveled at how cute his aibou looked.

How cute and how screwable he looked.

"Well?" Anzu prodded gently.

Yuugi shrugged. "Yami-chan is perfect."

Anzu blinked. "But, Yuugi, he's scarily possessive of you! He gets jealous when anyone talks to you!"

"Yeah, but... uhm..." Yuugi blushed.

"But...?" Anzu was looking at Yuugi with a very confused face.

Yuugi turned scarlet and mumbled something. Anzu asked him to repeat it. Yami perked up, as even he hadn't heard what his aibou said.

"I said..." Yuugi stared fixedly at the coffee table. "That, um, it's... a turn on."

Anzu blinked. Yami blinked. Yuugi continued to stare at the coffee table. Yami smirked.

"Aibou..." He purred.

"Yuugi! Snap out of it! Jealousy and Possessiveness are signs that a relationship is unstable! Your Yami is out of control!"

"Is not!" Yuugi said suddenly glaring at Anzu. -No one speaks badly about my Yami!-

Anzu and Yami both blinked. Anzu was about to say something when Yuugi jumped up from the squishy chair.

"My Yami is mine! I say he's perfect and he is!"

Anzu was in shock. Yami was turned on.

"Our relationship is fine! You've just been brainwashed by that scary-teacher-lady!" With that said, Yuugi grabbed his Yami by the hand and pulled him outside. Anzu sat in shock.

How could Mrs. Smith be wrong! Inconceivable!

A sudden thought struck Anzu: Were the two going to do intimate things with each other?

A feeling that had been suppressed since her lesson with Mrs. Smith stirred inside of Anzu.

On the way to the game shop, Yuugi yelled at a girl that looked at his Yami the wrong way. This turned Yami on further.

-x-x-x-x-x-

"Y-Yami! OH! OOHH! HAR-DER!"

Never one to deny his aibou, Yami slammed into his petit lover. Hitting his little one's sweet spot repeatedly.

As the two continued in their passion-filled night, neither noticed a pair of azure eyes watching them.

The next day, Mrs. Smith would mysteriously disappear. There would be much rejoicing as the brainwashed students returned to their un-brainwashed state.

"Oh.. RA! YAA-MI!"

-x-x-x-x-x-END-x-x-x-x-x-