Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry 4. CappyCom does and I'm jealous of them. (Crosses arms and pouts like a 3 year old child)
When I said Arkham Units….I changed my mind to a Vergil unit because I was bored. its its been four years since I did another fanfic.....
Congratulations! You just received your very own VERGIL unit! The VERGIL unit is the older twin of the DANTE unit from the DMC series. As a fact, the VERGIL unit sold 1 million copies more than all the DANTE units after two hours of its release. (It took nearly three weeks sell 5,000 DANTE Dmc 3 units) According to our records and data, the VERGIL unit is the MOST successful product in our DMC COMPANY. In order to get the most out of your money and out of your unit, we recommend that you read this manual before doing anything with your VERGIL unit! It is EXTREMELY important that you follow this manual…READ IT!!!!
We are not responsible for all the VERGIL units desiring to enter the demon world or taking over the world. HOWEVER, as stated in the DMC unit handbook, under law number #123:
We now have insurance for your DMC units.
Product Information and Caution:
Name (s): Vergil, Gilver, Nelo Angelo, 'Son of Sparda',
Other alternative names are: Master, The Blue One, Blue-Boy, Big Bro, Gil, Verg, Vergy, Vergie-poo, Ver-bo, Vergilnator, Vergin, Badass, Powerhouse, Baby-blue
bottoms, Silverbella, Mr. Grumpy, Lone-wolf, Gerbil, Spiky, Pretty-boy etc…
Date of Manufacture: March 25 (same as DANTE dmc 3 unit)
Place of Manufacture: Devil May Cry Twin Corp. or the Eva Company
Weight: um…..same as DANTE?
Length: pure ecstasy….er I mean WOW it's so impressive!!!
Your VERGIL should come with the following accessories:
One Blue satin/silk three tail trench coat with yellow trimmings™ (DMC3 style)
One blue-black leather vest with black cravat ™ (no showing of the neck, nipples, and abs like the DANTE 3 UNIT)
One pair of black reptilian skin-like textured pants ™ (the tightness compliments his glorious backside)
A pair of tan-brown fingerless badass looking gloves™
One pair of tan-brown knee length boots™
One Yamato sword with sheathe™
One red amulet w/ 8 karat gold chain™
One pair of black lacy panties (haha…..just kidding)
Beowolf gauntlets™, Alastor™, Ebony™ gun, Sparda costume™, Regency fashion, Bunny ears, Temen-ni-gru tower play-set ™, Vergil's own trademark hair-gel, trade-mark cologne, black magic, whips, chains, clothes, devil arms and other accessories for your VERGIL unit are available online, hotline, or at your local Devil May Cry Shop. Also please consult the DMC dealers for further information.
WARNING: Contents may have settled to right side of the box during shipping.
An even bigger WARNING: High-risk Dmc unit insurance is needed for a Vergil unit because one can never expect or predict when the Vergil unit will take over the world, destroy property, or even cause death.
Most Dmc units such as the Dante unit, Kyrie unit, Nero unit, Lady unit, Sparda unit, Sanctus unit, Nevan unit, and Arkham unit are never really troublesome so it may not be necessary to get insurance for them.
Removing your VERGIL unit:
When you receive your Vergil unit after the shipping, you will notice that he is inside a very tall human-sized box. Just like the Dante unit(s), the Vergil unit is sealed in heavy-duty-half-devil-proof-duct tape. Locate the Manuel attached to the box for further instructions.
The Vergil unit was supposed to have a sexy-delicious mode. Due to the suggestions and tyranny of the CapCom officials, we were forced to obey their command. (We are a lesser company after all and our earnings also go to CapCom) The officials claimed that a sexy-delicious Vergil is very 'un-Vergil' and is not Vergil-like or Vergil-enough to the real character. So the Vergil unit is devoid of any other modes and feelings other than his in-game personality.
Directions to take Vergil out:
Due to the murderous and highly violent personality of the Vergil unit, the only way to get them out is to suck up to their conceited mind.
1) You can get him out by calling him 'Master' and kowtowing on the ground for five minutes. Show some fear and awe to boost his ego…..that way….the Vergil unit will spare your life for about three minutes….which is enough time for you to reprogram him to a safer mode.
2) Bribe him with the Temen-ni-gru replica playset™, which is found in our local dmc stores. The Temen-ni-gru™ playset is a smaller version of the real Temen-ni-gru tower from the game. It is a height of only five feet, and erects to a total height of twenty feet, which is totally appropriate to your Vergil unit. When he inspects the tower and is in deep thought (he knows that the tower is fake), be ready to reprogram him.
3) You can tell him that Dante was a way stronger and cooler fighter/ warrior/son of Sparda, and that will make him steam in his own thoughts long enough for you to reprogram him…..better hurry because he will lop off your head. Whatever you do, never purchase a Dante unit along with a Vergil unit. They do not get along like what you see in fanarts, doujin, yaoi and fanfictions. It is a rule that both a Dante and a Vergil unit cannot live together in the same house. Unless you want your friend's Dante 3 unit to have devil trigger; you may unleash your Vergil unit on him.
4) Tell him you know the way to the demon world and make up some fake tale about getting him there. Don't make the tale too ridiculous like he'll have to sleep with you…telling him that Nero is his son…or that there is some mystical seven dragon balls he needs to find. Vergil will just make you expire on the spot. His hand speed is at 1,000 mph. With that speed your head and torso will hit the ground before you realized you're dead. (Dante's hand speed is 500mph).
Or if any of the above is too hard for you…..one of the easiest ways to avoid your death and successfully enjoy your Vergil unit is to get a tranquilizer gun in handy and subdue him. Knock your VERGIL unit out with fifty needles or more until he stops twitching. Aim for the RIGHT BUTTOCK. Then proceed to program him and give him the mode that you desire.
Your Vergil unit has been programmed with very few useful habits and occupation. He is recommended to be effective in any of the following fields:
Devil Hunter: Duh! That's probably what he did before he became a power-hungry whore falling into the dark side. The Vergil unit is very efficient and perfect for this…no other words could describe it. Bounty hunter and criminal investigator may also fall into this category.
Power-hungry fiend: Yes the Vergil unit does thirst for power over the entire world…perhaps even the universe. He can try all he want to take over the world but along with your creativity…you can play along and go on an endless journey with him to make him feel like he's doing something important. Take a cruise in the ocean, visit Italy or China and pretend that there are hidden clues of power there. Maybe you can ship him off to a different planet or galaxy where he can rule over some poor unknown beings. The hard part of this job is making sure he never finds out that you've been lying to him. That can cause body parts to fly everywhere.
King of your house: If there is anything that a Vergil unit does best, it is being the boss of you and your house. So basically you don't own him but he owns you! He considers you his slave and peons. You're just his servant and his provider. Fangirls usually dig this because who wouldn't want to be Vergil's slave? You get to be close and personal with him. Prince, Ruler, Lord and Master also fall into this category.
Neighborhood Watcher: Yeah the Vergil unit likes to stand and stare at stuff a lot. He can stand on top of Temen-ni-gru and be as still as a statue all day long. His eye vision, sense of hearing and smell is excellent, he can smell and hear the skin color, hair and gender of people miles away before even seeing them. How great is that? He can even close his eyes and predict uninvited guests....so you will never have to worry about burglars or thieves trying to rob your home.
Librarian: Yeah he reads…but only about the demon world and powers of the dark side. He might read about black magic, voodoo, or ways of taking over the world. The Vergil unit can work in a library since he is known to stick his nose into a thick book…who knows;mmaybe he might even write his own novel someday.
Boyfriend, Lover, boy-boy, hubby etc…: The Vergil unit is so not into this, it is rare that he will grow to love you. The word and emotion 'love' is not in his program. He will be cold, distant, and treat you badly like some sad drama series (the type where the guy mistreats the girl). The Vergil unit is build to tolerate his hyperactive owner (if it is a fangirl). Tricking him into sleeping with you will get you killed but worshipping him and lavishing his ego with high praises will make him create an understanding between both owner and unit. The Vergil unit's trust is slowly gained through a lot of patience and mostly a$$-kissing. Usually he has a mode called Mellow….and that mode can make him….well….mellow.
The Vergil unit can have a lot of vanity and like to be in control. Encourage him with phrases such as "oh evil one, how may I serve thee…" Avoid phrases like, "Oh my god Vergil honey! Let's frickin make some babies!" If you're a fangirl and you said this when he is not in the mellow or powerless mode….prepare to scream in agony as your boobies fall off. The Vergil unit is bound to dodge kisses and words of love...he will readily hold Yamato in hand and decorate the room with your dead body.
Very different from the other Dmc units that come with many personalities; the Vergil unit comes with an already 'accomplished' personality.
Cold and Ruthless (default)
Violent and Heartless (default)
Dark Slayer (default)
Powerless (triple-locked) (yes there is this mode….to make Vergil completely powerless in terms of not being able to devil trigger or kill…but he can still yell at you).
Nelo Angelo (Locked)
Sexy-delicious (does not exist in the Vergil unit….but if you pay S1, 000,000,000,000 plus tax for an upgrade….it just might)
Relationships with other units:
DANTE: The so called 'Lil Bro' of the VERGIL unit. Crazy, cocky, corny, cheesy, and goofy….the list goes on and on. DMC would've never happened without this red boy. Identical twins and yet heated rivals. It is highly recommended that your VERGIL unit must never cross the path with a DANTE unit. Unless you want the DANTE unit to obtain Devil Trigger (DT).
SPARDA: The Legendary Dark Knight and father of the DANTE and VERGIL unit. Also the spouse of the EVA. Vergil worships his father's awesomeness and eats his dust. He is ever searching for Sparda's power and will never stop until he gets what he want. Vergil is even willing to share his father's odd sense of fashion….without the monocle of course!
EVA: The beautiful spouse of the SPARDA and mother of the two twins. Although he respects and perhaps even loved his mother; Vergil had always believed that she had a softer spot for DANTE. There will be some times where the VERGIL doesn't want to hear the name of his mother being spoken out loud. He is programmed to think about her death a lot. Caution: Not to be confused with the TRISH unit.
TRISH: The VERGIL unit gets extremely annoyed at this mom look-alike unit. He will insult and say that she is a fake. He considers her a low-life two-bit whore with the face of his mother but the attitude of a whore. So avoid letting them be alone together. The TRISH unit will most likely end up in a garbage bag.
LUCIA: The Vergil unit doesn't care about her or acknowledge her…..because she's not important. If he sees her….she will end up as a huge disemboweled mess on the floor.
LADY: Also known as the MARY unit …well….the VERGIL unit will call her by her real name and refer to her as a foolish girl. The LADY unit is most likely upset over his rudeness and will try to shoot him. The VERGIL unit's signature kill for the LADY unit is leaving her limbless and writhing in a pool of blood.
ARKHAM: The bastard father and insane buffoon clown of the LADY/MARY unit. His JESTER trigger pisses VERGIL off to no end. So avoid them being together or VERGIL will bring hell upon the old fool. He will literally kill and revive the ARKHAM unit just to have ARKHAM stabbed again.
MUNDUS: The VERGIL unit is extremely bothered by the fact that the ruler of the demon world would turn him into Nelo Angelo. So he wastes no time trying to beat the sh*t out of the infamous devil ruler. Avoid putting the VERGIL unit with any other because he'll just end up wanting to chop them all into confetti.
BEOWULF: Vergil turns him into gauntlets so if you value your BEOWULF units…avoid crossing paths with a VERGIL unit.
NEVAN: A slut succubus….the VERGIL unit will cut her up as well.
Continue to next page for Feeding, Space, FAQs, and Trouble-shooting your Vergil unit.
And to be continued……………….i will stop here because i'm not sure if this will be any good. I will upload the rest of the Vergil manual next time! Sorry about this chapter….its not as great as it sounds…but I'm trying to make it funny.