Disclaimer: I do now own Fruits Basket

Akito's Weird Diary Day

Dear Diary,

Today I met Tohru Honda at Yuki's school. Of course, I threw a textbook at her head because she said that she was happy. Then Yuki came through to me with a knife and tried killing the textbook, screaming "DON'T HURT HONDA-SAN".

And then the baka cat came out and pulled the text book from Yuki screaming "I NEED THIS FOR MAKING CAT NIP" despite the fact that it was a history book.

During my travels through their high school, I also met Hatsuharu. He was sitting outside from the rest of the school, probably skipping as I assumed later, and I walked over to him. Hatsuharu was a bit reluctant to talk to me but after threatening to put him in a blender with cheese, he confessed to me something. Of course, it was not necessarily one of the things I wanted to hear… he was friends with my jar of mustard.

So I took the baka cat's 'Cooking for Cats' cook-book and hit the mustard with it. After that Kyo came running though like the boar, Kagura was chasing him. He threw Hatsuharu and the small mustard jar he was cradling off the roof of the school building, took the cook book, and said he needed it for his math class.

From there I left the roof in search of Momiji, the rabbit and I found him sitting in the infirmary, complaining of an upset stomach. I hit him in the arm with Kyo's math text book, and he complained of a hurting foot, then Kyo stormed in again and took his math book, claiming he needed it for science… but first he hit Momiji in the top of the head with it, and Momiji cried claiming Kyo was being mean and that his hand now hurt.

I left there again, wondering if I should go find Tohru Honda's friends instead. I managed to find Saki Hanajima, who knew who I was before I knew who she was. She gave me this weird glare and told me that if I hurt Tohru Honda she will "beep" me with "Electric Waves" and Yuki jumped in-between Saki Hanajima and I in a super man suit screaming "DON'T HURT HONDA-SAN" and then he ran up to the window and jumped through it, flying off.

I backed slowly away from Saki Hanajima and went in search of Arisa Uotoni. When I found her she was holding a lead pipe over Matoko Minagawa, who I hear is Yuki's personal stalker. She was yelling stuff about never threatening Tohru Honda and then Yuki comes in again, this time in my pink Tutu screaming "DON'T HURT HONDA-SAN" except instead of flying away he did a fancy spin on his tip toes with his hands above his head and then pulled out roller blades from the front shirt of the Tutu and skated off into a wall. I tried talking to Arisa Uotoni but she brandished the lead pipe at me and said if I ever talked to her again she would throw this at me, and then throw me off a cliff in a brown paper bag. When I asked how she would get me into a brown paper bag, she held up a chainsaw. I left after that.

I decided to look for Kyo, after taking all of his textbooks away and storing them in my portable pocket refrigerator. When I reached the roof Kyo was kneeling down next to Tohru Honda and… sharing a piece of cherry pie? I took the pie and ate it, forgetting my cheery pie allergy. I sneezed all over Tohru Honda, and Kyo grabbed a tissue stuff it up my nose, while giving Tohru his science text book, telling her it was a book to help her clear off all the crap I sneezed on her. And right on time, Yuki flew in wearing Tohru's school outfit yelling "DON'T HURT HONDA-SA…" he was cut off by Tohru, Kyo and I grabbing him by the hair and tossing him off the roof, where he landed right on Matoko Minagawa, who was in the middle of her perverted Yuki daydreams.

It was quite an eventful day… yes.

Akito Sohma