Consequences: A Neon Genesis Evangelion fic

Disclaimer: NGE © Hideaki Anno and the Good Guys at Gainax.

Author's note: Takes place directly after episode 18.

Dedicated to all Gendo bashers out there. May you all develop chronic diarrhea.


Prologue: A Man's Fight

" Increase the LCL pressure. I don't have time for childish petulance."

And these words –

Shinji knew what they meant. He didn't need to know the specs or understand the process, indeed he was past all of that, but he knew what that meant, the cool, weary dismissal in his father's voice, the lack of anger – the lack of – he was not afraid of his son in the greatest fighting machine known to man. He wasn't afraid of the machine, because it was his son piloting it. And he wasn't – never afraid, always in control –

"No, Father! No!" But he shouted it so many times and had never been heard through that mental and flesh monstrosity and the suffocating plugsuit, "Why did you make me kill him!" It was kill or be killed, his father had said, kill or die, kill or die –

Blind to all in front of him – the screens, the Geofront – and suddenly the plugsuit was suffocating him, and everything went red as blood, and he had never felt so trapped in his life.

Kill or die.

Kill or die.

He was inside the monstrous Evangelion and he was not safe and there wasn't a power in the world –

Kill or die.

With my own hands!

The pressure –

I told him not to push me!

Kill. Or. Die.

The Evangelion lurched forward. He had seconds. Seconds were enough. Enough. Enough –

Enough enough enough enough enough –

Kill or die. His father has said as much –

"Why did you make me kill him!" Then, with a roar, the hand came forward. The restraints were nothing. He had seconds, seeing only red. Seconds to move, seconds to destroy, seconds to shatter the restraints, shatter the walls, bring it down, bring it all down, kill or die

Until he could see the bridge itself.

Kill or die, Father.

Kill or die.

Kill

Kill.

Kill.

At some point the redness stopped; the lights went back on; the pressure stopped; the power ran out of the collapsing Evangelion, effectively trapping the mutilated body of its creator under the mighty hand that pinned him to the wall. But Shinji didn't hear the screams until much, much later.