Aurora Whisperwind: Another crazy idea! The journal of Battosai, the feared assassin who is shoved aside by the Rurouni. I know they are not separate people or anything, but this is parody and so all references to Kenshin will be 'we'.

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. Happy?


Episode one

Entry 1: Where are we going so freakin' early in the morning? I hope we're not going out of the city, I am sick of all the villages and snotty-nosed kids! Besides, they have no sense of hygiene! I really, really hate uncleanness. Filth is evil. Aku Zoku Zan. Oops, scratch that.

Entry 2: Someone calls me by my name! Oh the joy! Ooh… it's a girl. She's saying something… the Rurouni will take care of that. Time for me to take an inventory on her. She's shorter than me, good. Dark hair, nice and shiny, good. Pretty blue eyes, good. Flawless, glowing skin, good. SHE'S SO CLEAN! EXCELLENT!

Entry 3: She's charging at us…. Time for me take over. Gotta show off.

Entry 4: Damn this Rurouni! He made us look bad! AND WE'RE DIRTY! NOOOOOO! I hope I can save this chick so she can take me home to a nice warm bath.

Entry 5: I just saved her! She's in our arms too! Whoa, she's light! I just saved her! Ok, the Rurouni helped. A little… who was that creep anyway? Stealing my name? And those actually believed him… I am so much better-looking than that idiot!

Entry 6: Man, dressing her wounds felt good. She does have nice brea- er arms. Ahehehehe… Oh, by the way, update- Her name is Kaoru Kamiya, of the Kamiya Kasshin ryu style. That's a pretty name. And, she has own dojo! She's quite strong too, I am sick of the whole damsel in distress crap anyway.

Entry 7: Great… trust the Rurouni to spoil my fun… now we're outside, cooking. Sheesh. Kids coming forward, no snot. Are they clean? We're making rice balls. I hope she wakes up soon, I hope she wakes up soon, I hope she wakes up soon…. Nooooo! These brats just spilled miso soup all over us! Hot! Burning! Pain!

Entry 8: Hey she woke up! And she's offered us a place to stay! Preparing her bath. Why can't the Rurouni let me take over so that I can join her in there?

Entry 9: I can't believe how dumb the Rurouni can get! He actually bought my story that she would kill herself! Yeah, right. But on the pro-side, I got a nice long look. She's a bit on the slim side… but still good.

Entry 10: She's locked us in a barn. Of all the cute, childish things to do! She's angry again; man she's so hot when she's flustered! She's stormed off. I wonder what that idiot of a Rurouni said to her.

Entry 11: Time for us to get lost and investigate this tall, ugly, but most of all, dirty freako. Just as suspected, he's one of their students, Hiruma Gohei or some shitty name like that. But I ain't rushing back there.

Entry 12: He's gone in. Time for us to make the dramatic entrance. Oi! Get your filthy hands off her, your filthy bastard! She's mine! My precious! Mine!

Entry 13: Beat the crap out of these idiots. Man, she's so impressed! Go me! Go me! Go me! Go me! Go me! Gohei's saying some crap again. He actually thinks he can beat me?

Entry 14: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I beat him! Serves you right, for stealing my name, being dirty, and touching my precious!

Entry 15: Aaaawwww, she's so adorable. She wants us to stay… no wait… what was that again? She wants him to stay? Just the Rurouni? Oh, the pain! Sniffle I think I'll just grab my teddy and have a good cry.

Entry 16: The Rurouni accepted. Well, if he thinks that he can make out with her while I stand by and watch, he's wrong. No woman wants a purple-eyed wimp. Like maybe, but not want. But she's so happy. Man she's so cute when she smiles- OWIE! That was a hard hit!

Entry 17: Feeling better now. At least we're near her. She might like me eventually.


Okay, so that was the first episode! Sorry if it was short. Tell me if you guys liked it!

Please review. Pretty please?