Title: Personal Details

Genre: gen

Category: humor

Rating: PG

Pairing: none

Summary: 150 words each in reaction to a personnel file. Abby, Tony, Ducky.

Notes: Written for the documentation challenge over at the NCIS flashfiction community on livejournal.


"You never told me you have a degree in sociology."

Abby glanced across the front seat where Ziva's head was bent over an open folder. "That had better not be my personnel file, David," she said without any real venom in her words.

"Indecent exposure, Abby?" Ziva lifted her head. Abby didn't even have to look at her to know that she was smirking. "You couldn't have been more than thirteen."

Abby pressed her foot down hard on the accelerator. "Those are for the Director's eyes only."

"Think about that statement."

"Of course. You're best pals with the director. She lets you do anything you want. God is mocking me. I get it."

"The drive to Seattle is a long one. We should try to keep the animosity down to a minimum." Abby stuck out her tongue.

"I have nowhere near the amount of maturity required to even attempt that."


"Hey, Boss." Tony dove through the closing elevator doors. "Have you seen this?"

Gibbs took the crumpled sheets of paper from the younger agent's hand. "Yup."

"This is absolutely the most unprofessional file I've ever seen! Age, mental late teens! I find that offensive."

"This is confidential."

"Oh for God's sake, Gibbs, what do you think we keep McGee around for? I want this changed."

Gibbs smirked. "Good luck with that. You'll be doing it on your own time."

Tony sighed. "Of course I will."

Gibbs took a long sip of his coffee. "Weren't you the one who got on McGee's ass about hacking being illegal?"

Tony glared at the wall. "That's not the point."

Gibbs walked out of the elevator. "Whine about it to the elevator."

Tony wanted to stamp his foot. "Maybe I will. I hear it's a great listener!" The doors slid shut, leaving Tony to sulk.


"Ah, hello Timothy," Ducky turned to face the opening doors of the morgue.

"Hi, Ducky," the young man greeted, uncertainly holding out a few pieces of stapled paper. "Uh... Well, Tony and Ziva kinda threatened me to, um...I have your personnel file, if you want it."

Ducky smiled warmly. "Oh my boy, I've known what that says for a long time. Some very interesting comments, really. Though I do believe that the comments about my tendencies to ramble on incessantly are greatly over-emphasized. Honestly, I believe I can be quite succinct if necessary. Now admittedly, I do have some excellent stories to tell, however I can control myself. It reminds me of a woman in Austria who had her identification altered by a computer hacker. For five years, the staff of the office building in which she worked were wondering where the fifty-eight-year-old man who worked in the mailroom was.