I couldn't give you up anyway

James Potter was officially depressed, he was on the Hogwarts Express going home for the last time, he had just graduated.

That wasn't why he was depressed though. His girlfriend of almost a year, Lily Evans, had still refused to get serious about their relationship. He didn't mean sex; they had sex but even if they didn't it didn't matter to him. She still treated their relationship like it was a stupid school fling; even though he knew she loved him she would never admit it. She would just say that she cared about him and that they should enjoy their time together. So James had told her, either get serious and admit what she wanted or lose him forever. She hadn't said anything just looked at him and then walked away, and hadn't spoken to him since.

"Cheer up mate, it's our last time on this beautiful piece of machinery" said Sirius.

"What?" said James annoyed at his thoughts of Lily being interrupted

"The train, it's our last time on the train. Look you have to stop moping about Evans, she obviously didn't feel the way you did, just get over it" said Sirius

"You think it's that easy, I love her, I can't just forget about her," said James angrily, "and she does feel the same way about me I know she does"

"Then why didn't she tell you?" said Remus

"I don't know, I just don't know"

"Is it a waste of our time trying to get you to snap out of it?" said Peter

"Yeah, just leave me alone," said James.


Well that's it, we're almost at Kings Cross, and I haven't even seen James. I miss him, I know it's only been a day and a half but I miss him so much. I should have told him, when he said he loved me, and asked how I felt. I should have told him I love him. I don't know why I didn't, I think I was just afraid. I was so scared. What if we broke up? What if we can't handle our relationship after school? It would be too painful to lose him after all that. Maybe it would just be easier to walk away now and forget it ever happened.

Easier said than done.


The train pulled up to the platform and two by two the students went through to Kings Cross.

Lily was talking to her mum, but she kept looking over at James, who was greeting his mother with Sirius.

Then after stalling for long enough James had to give in and go to leave the station. Just as he turned to go, he hadn't even taken his first step, when he felt Lily grab his arm and twirl him round.

He couldn't believe it she didn't even say anything; she just threw her arms around his stomach and cuddled him as tightly as he could.

"Thank god" he whispered wrapping his arm around her and stroking her hair with the other.

"Mum" he said after a good minute or two, "Could you and Sirius take my trunk home? I'll be back later"

"Okay, then dear. Don't be too long, I'm making your favorite meal" said Mrs. Potter, "You can bring your friend along as well"

"Okay, mum, thanks" said James

"That's no friend, that's Evans," said Sirius

"Lily Evans, the girl he's been telling me about since he was eleven," said Mrs. Potter

"Mum" hissed James

He felt Lily giggle against his chest.

"Well then I insist you bring her along. I'd like to talk to the girl that can hold your attention for so long"

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter" said Lily finally taking her head off of James

"No problem, I'll see the two of you later. Come on Sirius," said Mrs. Potter then she guided Sirius out of the station.

"Um Lily, we'll see you later at home. It seems you are busy at the moment. We'll take your trunk," said Mrs. Evans

"Thanks Mum" said Lily quietly

"It's fine, goodbye James," said Mrs. Evans pleasantly

"Goodbye Mrs. Evans. I'll make sure she gets home safely," said James

"Thank you, see you both later"

And then James and Lily were left alone in the station. Neither were sure of what to say, so James just pulled his arms around Lily tighter. She buried her head into his chest again. About five minutes later James realized that people were starting to stare at them.

"C'mon we should move" he said, "There's a café right over there"

Lily nodded and pulled away from James, she took his hand and they went into the café.

They went inside and it was crowded they could barely hear themselves think.

"Let's just get a coffee to take away," said James

"Okay, I'll go order," said Lily

A few minutes later they were walking in a nearby park.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left it so long" Lily blurted out, she couldn't take the silence.

"Better late than never, I suppose"

"I am sorry I should have spoken to you sooner"

"You don't need to apologize"

"I do"

"What would you have said?"


"If you had spoken to me sooner. What would you have said?"

"Uh… that I don't want us to break up"

"That all"

"No that I really really care about you, about us"



"I uh I'll take you home now"


"Come on, I passed my apparation test last month. You haven't passed yours yet, have you?" said James

"No, I haven't"

"Here take my arm then"

Lily just took his arm without a word, a second later they were at outside Lily's house.

"So… I guess I'll see you around," said James

"That's it James you're just going to walk away and I'll never see you again," said Lily her voice choked with tears.

"Don't cry Lily, please don't cry not over me anyway"

"Please James, don't leave it like this. Why do we have to end it?"

"You know why, Lily," said James sadly then he turned away, but he found that he couldn't take his first step away from her, he turned back round and found Lily trying not to look at him, while tears streamed down her face.

James took a step toward her so that they were almost touching. He lifted her chin up and leant down and kissed her. Surprised at first, it took Lily a few seconds to respond but she did and she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer to her.

"I love you, I don't care if you don't love me. I can't walk away no matter how hard I try I can't do it" said James resting his forehead against hers as they pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I-I…"

"Shhhh I'm not going to rush you, I just can't walk away. Whatever you want, whatever you're ready for is fine with me"

"I…I do love you" she stuttered

"You don't have to say that. I'm not going anywhere. Come on we'll go and see my mother, she's desperate to meet the girl I haven't stopped talking about for 7 years" said James and he took her arm and apparated them both outside his house.

"James, I didn't say it so that I wouldn't lose you, I said it cause I meant it. I love you," said Lily.

"Lils sweetie, it's fine really"


"Alright, alright no need to shout I just wanted you to be sure," said James surprised by her outburst.

"Well you weren't listening"

"Say it again"

"You weren't listening"

"Not that part"

"Oh I love you. I love you. I Lily Evans love you James Potter. Happy now?"

"More than you'll ever know"

James kissed Lily again, not caring that his mother and Sirius were watching them from the window.

"I'm so glad you said that, cause I couldn't have given you up anyway," he whispered