Harry Potter and the Unfortunate Events

By Celestianpower for I own the copyright for neither Harry Potter nor A Series of Unfortunate Events. If I did, do you really think I'd be writing this?

Note: The Harry Potter stuff is set just after The Prisoner of Azkaban and the A Series of Unfortunate Events stuff is set just after Book the Third: The Wide Window.


To Beatrice,

The first kiss was magical,

Now not even magic can make you return.

Chapter 1

"Wake up, Harry! Wake up!" Mrs. Weasley shouted, shaking Harry, "Wake up or we'll be late for the Hogwarts Express!"

A few minutes into Molly's tirade upon his senses, Harry finally came to the conclusion that he couldn't stay in his dream world any longer: he would have to finish his duel with the Acromantula tomorrow night. "Alright, alright!" he said as he opened his eyes.

Harry was a thin boy of fourteen years, with glasses and long, scruffy hair. No matter how much he tried, he could never make it sit flat on his head and this morning was no different. As usual, Mrs. Weasley attempted to flatten it, but to no avail. The most intriguing thing about this boy was, however, not his hair but what it concealed. Underneath his flapping fringe was a lightning-shaped scar, a memento of his brush with Voldemort as a baby.

Around Harry was a hive of activity. Chests flew everywhere, owls hooted, parchments were scattered across every workspace possible, breakfast whizzed off to its various recipients and a general air of excitement filled the crowded kitchen, Mrs. Weasley in the centre attempting to control the ruckus. You could tell at a glance the new term was about to begin. Having woken up slightly, Harry was digging into a large portion of Scrambled eggs next to his best friends Ron and Hermione.


It couldn't be any more different for the Baudelaire children on their first day of Hogwarts. Far from the loving and caring Mrs. Weasley to wake them up, they only had the hard mattress on Mr. Poe's hard bed and the musty smell of old socks - and Edgar and Albert, Mr. Poe's unpleasant children of course. The Baudelaires were orphans (a word which here means "children who's parents died in a fire that destroyed their home and all of their possessions"). Misfortune hounded them everywhere from this moment onwards.

Violet was the first to wake and she promptly woke her two siblings. Violet was an inventor and a good one at that. She loved to invent things and was always being complemented for it but since her parents' death, this skill has become a necessity. Klaus loved to read and he had a passion for books. Sunny, while only a baby, was particularly adept at using her teeth and could bite through almost anything.

Despite their age, Dumbledore had given the three talented orphans a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, having seen the strength of character they had shown through all of the misfortune that had befallen them. They were very grateful, given the guardians that they had had before and the ends that they had met (a phrase which in this context means, "been murdered by Count Olaf"). They were sure that Dumbledore would be able to protect them where others had failed.

As they got dressed, their mood lifted slightly. "We're actually going to Hogwarts today!" Klaus remarked, daring himself to believe that things would get better with this new start. "Grashfhelt" Sunny replied. Like many infants and babies, Sunny could only communicate using sounds only comprehensible to those closest to her. In this case, she probably meant something along the lines of, "Yes, I hope it'll make a new start for us", almost reading Klaus' mind.

"Well, I'm looking forward to Transfiguration," said Violet, stuffing some ancient-looking textbook into her trunk, "I think it'll be fascinating!"

"I think I'll prefer Care of Magical creatures, it'll be great to see some of the creatures from these books in real life." said Klaus.

"Gaksha!" said Sunny, which probably meant, "Because I'm too young to be a student, I get to help Hagrid out". Violet had told Dumbledore about her sister's aptitude at biting and that's where he said that she'd enjoy most.

"Yes, Sunny, it's all very exciting, isn't it?" said Violet, smiling for she too had made herself believe that Count Olaf was finally out of their lives.

"Well, we had better eat some breakfast before we have to go," said Klaus.

"I agree" Violet replied as she picked up her watermelon-sized sister and started to walk down the stairs.


With all of the last-minute essays complete and chests full to bursting with robes, books and parchments, the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione set off for King's Cross in Mr. Weasley's new Ford Anglia (which since the catastrophe with the flying mechanism in the last one, had not being enchanted to fly). It was quite a long journey to the station but an enjoyable one nonetheless. Harry had not had much time to spend with his friends since his arrival at the Burrow. Most of his summer had been spent in the company of the frightful Dursleys: his stern Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and Cousin Dudley. A mean family, they hated Harry in every way and despised his powers. Luckily, Harry had managed to scare them into leaving him alone, however, due to the "murderer" Sirius Black being his godfather. On their way to the station, as Mr. Weasley swerved to miss the traffic coming the other way, the three friends played some Wizard Chess and you could hear delighted laughs coming from inside all the way.

At the station, the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione got out of the car feeling very excited about the prospects of a new term, new subjects and life amongst their friends again at Hogwarts.

"Goodbye children!" said Molly, holding back tears as he hugged each of them hard in turn. She paused for a while on Harry, savouring the moment. "Take care dear"

"Thanks for everything, Mrs. Weasley!" chorused Harry and Hermione as they leapt through into Platform Nine and Three Quarters, racing onto the puffing Train.


The Baudelaires had a much quieter journey than that of the Weasleys for they were much more nervous than the Weasleys. A first day of a new term at a new school is always daunting. Not quite as daunting as facing down a vicious mountain lion at midnight for vital notes detailing the whereabouts of a significant tap-dancing class but slightly more daunting than searching the lost property of an alphabetised hotel for a lost paper clip. Now, if that aforementioned lost property department were to be guarded by three twins brandishing loaded wall staplers then that would be a different matter entirely. However, since such a lost property department's staple-laden workers were notably absent from such a scene, searching for that thrice-aforementioned (a word which here means "repeated ad nauseam") paper clip was incomparable to that of three orphans searching for happiness once again in their lives.

"Hop out then children – good luck!" said Mr. Poe, in between coughing fits. "Have a nice time at St Augustine's."

"We will!" the siblings said, the doubt in their voices obvious to all but Mr. Poe, who was busy coughing again. "Thanks for everything!" they said politely.

"Good -", he coughed again, "- bye".

The car drove off into the mist of that Sunday afternoon and once again, the Baudelaires were left alone.

"I hate lying to him", said Klaus, "I hope he understands later".

"Well", Violet said, uneasily, "Dumbledore said the train was at Platform Nine and three-quarters, but I only see Platforms Nine and Ten. Where could he mean?"

"Are you lost?" said a red-haired woman, seeing the look of bewilderment on her face,

"What are you looking for?"

"Ummm, we're looking for Platform Nine and Three-quarters, madam", said Violet, hesitantly, "but it doesn't seem to be here."

"Ah, who sent you?" said the kindly lady.

"Dumbledore, miss."

"Ah, you must be the new children I heard Dumbledore mention. He thinks a lot of you, you know. Very impressed he was. I'm Molly Weasley, my Son will be in your