"Last time, on The Smashy Amazing Race," said Master Hand, "Six teams set off on the seventh leg of a race around the world!"
"Teams travelled to tropical Isle Delfino, where Kirby and Jigglypuff quickly managed to win over the locals!"

"Mr. Airport Worker?" said Kirby, doing his puppy eyes, "I know you usually use that airport buggy for transporting the sick and disabled, but we're cute and we have to go and see our grandparents!"

"Meanwhile, the locals weren't too nice to Ness and Yoshi!" said Master Hand.

The taxi came to a stop. "Uh… I need to refill," said the taxi driver, "Why don't you visit this jewellery shop while you're waiting?"

Ness and Yoshi walked out.

The taxi driver locked the door, "I'm not letting you guys have your bags until you buy some jewellery!"

"What?" said Ness, shocked.

"Kirby and Jigglypuff managed to get help on the detour by winning over the locals' hearts!"

"But our mean boss won't give us food if we don't carry all of the squid over there in five minutes!" cried Jigglypuff, suddenly waking up.

A crowd of people rushed over and started to help carry all of the squid.

"While Bowser and Ganondorf got help by other means!" said Master Hand.

Ganondorf took out a cannon.

"Tensions flared at the yield!" said Master Hand.

"We choose to Yield Bowser and Ganondorf!" said Samus.

"Both Bowser and Ganondorf and Young Link and Popo were Yielded, forming a brief friendship!" said Master Hand.

"You know," said Bowser nicely, "It's been really great getting to know you just sitting here."

"But the two teams ended up having to battle each other out for second-last place, with Young Link and Popo being eliminated!" said Master Hand.
"Will Ness and Yoshi's constant miscommunication with locals slow them down? Can Zelda and Donkey Kong keep up their newly found lead? And after winning two legs in a row, can Bowser and Ganondorf jump out of last place? Five teams remain, who will be eliminated, next?"

The Teams: (with secret weapons)

Zelda and Donkey Kong (Being nice and having fun, it's how we've gotten this far)
Kirby and Jigglypuff (Being aggressive and not holding back, it's how we've played the game so far, even though we are cute, doesn't mean we're nice)
Bowser and Ganondorf (Being cute and helping everyone, it's just our way of playing! Even though we don't look cute, it doesn't mean that we're mean and aggressive!)
Ness and Yoshi (Our brains)
Samus and Falcon (Hit them)

"Zelda and Donkey Kong, who arrived at 11:26 AM, will depart at 11:26 PM!" said Master Hand.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
st to depart: 11:26 PM

"You must now make your way to Donkey Kong Island, and find your next clue in the Monkey Mines!" read Zelda.

"Teams must now fly to Donkey Kong Island, an island most famous for being the setting of the show, 'Donkey Kong Country'! Once teams arrive, they must travel to the Monkey Mines and take a mine trolley down to the middle of the mine, where they will receive their next clue!" said Master Hand.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Interview before leg

"I think it's really going to become a competition for first place now," said Donkey Kong, "We've all made it this far, and I think other teams are going to start to become nasty."

Kirby and Jigglypuff
nd to Depart: 11:27 PM

"You must now make your way to Donkey Kong Island, and find your next clue in the Monkey Mines!" read Kirby. "You have eighty-three dollars for this leg of the race."

"It's quite ridiculous so far," said Kirby, walking along, "For the last six legs we've come in second place by less than a minute!"

"I know, the only thing we're good at is being cute!" said Jigglypuff angrily, "I mean, what good does that do?"

"Want a free ride to the airport?" said a taxi driver, "I just couldn't ask you two guys to pay for the ride!"

"Okay," said Kirby angrily, taking the huge sundae and taking large bites out of it.

"Sometimes I wish we weren't cute," said Jigglypuff, devouring the sundae.

"Tell me about it," said Kirby, trying not to enjoy the rich, delicious sundae.

Ness and Yoshi
rd to Depart: 11:38 PM

"You must now make your way to Donkey Kong Island, and find your next clue in the Monkey Mines!" read Ness. "You have eighty-three dollars for this leg of the race."

"So Samus and Falcon asked to form an alliance with us," explained Yoshi, "So we're just waiting a few minutes for them to depart."

Samus and Falcon
th to Depart: 11:39 PM

"You must now make your way to Donkey Kong Island, and find your next clue in the Monkey Mines!" read Samus. "You have eighty-three dollars for this leg of the race."

"Okay, let's go!" said Falcon.

"Hi, team buddies!" said Ness innocently. "Ready to beat everyone else as a team?"

"Uh…" said Falcon, "We just forgot to go the toilet… so we're going to the toilet now… together…"

Samus and Falcon flagged down a taxi, sprinted to it and drove off to the airport.

"I never knew they had taxi-looking toilets," said Yoshi.

"Well now we know, I guess," said Ness.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Last to Depart: 11:46 PM

"You must now make your way to Donkey Kong Island, and find your next clue in the Monkey Mines!" read Ganondorf. "You have eighty-three dollars for this leg of the race."

Bowser and Ganondorf
Interview before leg

"Last leg, there was only twenty minutes' difference between first place and last place," said Ganondorf, "If we had made one tiny error, then we would have been out of the race."

"People say we're the mean team," said Bowser, "But we're not really, we're just opportunists! If we see an opportunity to get in front of another team, we'll take it, we don't set up fake clues or anything stupid like that."

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"What are you guys doing here?" said Bowser.

"We're waiting for Samus and Falcon, we've formed an alliance," boasted Ness, putting his hand on his chest proudly.

"What?" said Bowser, surprised, "You've been screwed over by them! They just hopped into a taxi and left!"

"How could we fall for that?" said Yoshi, shocked.

"Hey," said Ness, "Why don't we team up and beat Samus and Falcon?"

"Sure," said Bowser.

"Cool!" said Ness happily, "Well, you can wear our alliance jersey!"

Ness showed Ganondorf a small, pink shirt with a suffocatingly cute pink unicorn on it.

"Uh… we have to go… to the toilet…" said Ganondorf, dragging Bowser into a taxi.

The taxi drove off.

"We're not falling for that!" said Ness angrily.

"We're using public toilets!" called Bowser as the taxi drove off.

"Fair enough," said Yoshi, standing still.

Isle Delfino Airport

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1
st Place

"Jigglypuff just won a few grand in the local sweepstakes," said Kirby at the camera, "So we're going to use one of our mean tricks to get us ahead!"

"All money was acquired legally!" said Jigglypuff, prying the lock off the safe.

"Hi," said Kirby, walking up to a counter, "We'd like as many tickets to Donkey Kong Island as possible please."

"Sure," said the airport worker, "We have a flight at 7:00 AM, and a flight at 11:00 AM."

"How many are left for the 7:00 AM flight?" said Kirby.


"Okay, we'll have twelve tickets then, please," said Kirby, grinning in a cute-evil kind of way.

"Well, where's everyone else?" said the airport worker, suspiciously.

Kirby tugged on the legs of two random people.

"Um… here are some of them," said Kirby.

"Okay then!" said the airport worker innocently, handing over the gigantic roll of tickets.

"Hooray! No-one else will be on the flight with us!" cheered Jigglypuff.

"A-hem," said Donkey Kong and Zelda.

"Aww," said Kirby, handing over the tickets.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Zelda and Donkey Kong
st and Last on 7:00 AM Tropical Air Flight

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 3
rd Place

"Hey guys, what flight are you on?" said Samus, walking into the airport.

"The 7:00 AM flight," said Kirby, "It's booked out though, you'll never get on."

"Don't worry, we'll find a way," said Samus, loading some ammo.

"Don't you think for once we could negotiate by peaceful means?" said Falcon, "So far we've only used force and now I think six countries won't let us return!"

"You really think anyone will listen to us? Force is the only way we get ahead!" said Samus.

"Watch this then!" said Falcon, walking up to the ticket desk.

"Hey," said Falcon, putting on his 'charming voice', leaning over the ticket counter suavely.

"Hey," replied the female airline worker, taking sudden attention to her customer.

"Can we have the quickest flight to Donkey Kong Island?" said Falcon, gazing into the other's eyes.

"I'll see what I can do," said the airline worker, enchanted by his gaze.

"That would be swell," said Falcon, touching her lips elegantly.

"There's a 7:00 flight, but it's booked out," said the female worker, loosening her tie.

"Can you please get it for me?" said Falcon, leaning in closer on her face.

"Well actually, somebody just cancelled their tickets," said the female worker excitedly, "So you can go on the-"

Falcon punched the worker in the chest.

"Ow!" screamed the worker angrily, "What was that for?"

"You're right Samus," said Falcon angrily, "We can't convince anyone for nothing! We're just useless monsters!"

Falcon took some random tickets and ran away crying.

Samus and Falcon: 1st on 11:00 AM Mushroom Air Flight

Bowser and Ganondorf walked up to the counter.

"If you give us the early tickets, I'll give you some lovin'," said Bowser, trying to look attractive.

The airport worker stared at Bowser.

Ness and Yoshi
Last on 11:00 AM Mushroom Air Flight

"This is ridiculous," said Yoshi angrily, "It's like nobody wants us here!"

"That's not true," said Zelda, "You're one of our favourite teams!"

Kirby, Jigglypuff, Donkey Kong, Ganondorf, Bowser, Falcon, Samus and Zelda, all standing in the same area gave a collective cheesy grin.

"Oh yeah?" said Ness angrily, "Well whose idea was it to put an ink bomb in my luggage that set off when I unpacked yesterday?"

Ganondorf who was snickering, made a speedy exit to the bathroom to contain his laughter.

"Well, everyone besides from Ganondorf loves you guys!" said Zelda.

"Then who decided to use our credit cards for room service purposes?" said Yoshi angrily.

A snickering Kirby bailed for the bathroom.

"Well, everyone besides from-"

"And who thought it would be amusing to cover us with banana paste while were sleeping?" said Ness angrily.

An amused Donkey Kong spotted a scene of fake shrubbery, and dived inside it.

"Well, everyone except-"

"And who ordered garlic bread to our room?" said Yoshi angrily.

Zelda, Samus, Bowser and Falcon, all snickering, dashed off to baggage claim.

"Well at least Jigglypuff didn't do anything wrong," said Ness, "I guess somebody on this race does appreciate us!"

"And plus, she wouldn't hate us that much to hire an axe-wielding ninja to write political propaganda on all of our clothing, write death threats on the walls and change our alarm clocks to try and get us to leave three hours later," laughed Yoshi.

Jigglypuff managed to contain her laughter.

"All teams are now on their way to Donkey Kong Island," said Master Hand, "Kirby and Jigglypuff and Zelda and Donkey Kong are on the 7:00 AM flight, that will land at 10:00 AM! All other teams are on the 11:00 AM flight that will arrive at 2:00 PM, local time!"

Donkey Kong Island Airport

Flight 1
Landed at 9:56 AM

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1
st Place

"Jigs," explained Kirby, "No-one in this country will stop to help the cute puffballs, so you can stop putting on your sad makeup!"

"I too can be sad and cute!" said Jigglypuff hopefully, running up to a random ape.

"Huh?" said the ape, looking down slowly towards Jigglypuff.

"Jiggly jig jig! Puff jig jiggly jig jig puff Jigglypuff jig ii jiggly ig iggly!" cried Jigglypuff, curling up into a ball.

"Uh…" said the ape, scratching his head slowly, "…yeah…"

"Jiggly jig! Jig Jiggly Jig!" cried Jigglypuff, holding up an umbrella like a clown.

"Jiggly jig! Jiggly jig!" cried Jigglypuff, miming the action of breaking a window.

"Puff jig! Puff puffy puff Jigglypuff jig puff Jiggly!" said Jigglypuff panting, pointing to a cauldron.

"Okay then," said the ape, throwing an object onto Jigglypuff's head.

"Using my persuasive powers of cuteness, I have successfully convinced the man to hand over a map that will help us to locate our clue!" boasted Jigglypuff. "What a cunning piece of trickery I have achieved here, what a swaffle of gabuldric goodness!"

"Jigs, he just dumped his empty chip packet on your head," said Kirby.

Jigglypuff started to cry.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 2
nd Place

"It's so good to be back to my hometown!" said Donkey Kong ecstatically. "I haven't been back for so long!"

"Yeah, isn't this place great?" said Zelda, looking out the window at the sunny beach.

"Now we can see Fred, my best friend who worked at the airport for his whole life!" said Donkey Kong happily. "Zelda, look! There's his local tour desk!"

Donkey Kong walked up to a travel desk, and looked on joyfully.

"Hi Fred, how's business? I'm sorry I haven't been here for years!" said Donkey Kong, a tear in his eye.

"Does not compute," replied the machine.

"Fred, you've shrunk," said Donkey Kong, surprised, "I thought you were the tallest around here!"

"Does not compute," replied the machine.

"Fred doesn't look like the Fred that you showed me in the photos," said Zelda, in a state of confusion.

"Does not compute," replied the machine.

"That can only mean one thing…" said Donkey Kong, shocked, "Fred is inside the machine!"

Donkey Kong started to panic, picked up the machine and shook it vigorously.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1
st Place

"What are they doing?" said Jigglypuff confused, running past.

"They must be very primitive," said Kirby, shocked.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 2
nd Place

"We're just going to have to accept this," said Zelda, comforting Donkey Kong who was still shaking the machine uncertainly. "Fred has been replaced with a machine! He's not inside the machine, it's just that simply technology has-"

A large ape fell out of the machine.

"Donkey Kong?" said the ape.

"Fred?" said Donkey Kong, with cheesy family movie music playing in the background.

"It's been so long!" said the ape.

"Great! We can spend so much time together! We'll be friends forever!" said Donkey Kong, crying, background music still abundant.

"Actually, that's going to be a bit hard," said the ape sadly.

"Why?" cried Donkey Kong.

"Well," said the ape, swallowing his pride, "my left half is in a nearby vending machine."

"NUUUEEEEE!" cried Donkey Kong, "We'll never be together then!"

The ape cried.

"Wait," said Zelda, "I can buy your other half out of the other vending machine, and we'll all be happy!"

"YAAAY!" cheered everyone.

Zelda triumphantly walked up to the vending machine, and put several coins in.

The machine swallowed Zelda's coins.

"Well this sucks," said Zelda angrily.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1
st Place

"Wow, I've just been here for minutes and I've been overwhelmed with this tropical goodness!" said Jigglypuff cheerily. "Just leaving the airport, they've nourished me with their unique, tropical fruits!"

"Actually, that's a rotten apple," said Kirby, slightly saddened.

"Well at least we get to see their unique method of postal transport!" said Jigglypuff cheerfully, pointing to an EdFex™ truck.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 2
nd Place

"Boy, while we're here, why don't we check out that 50-year old fruit farm they have out south after the pit stop?" said Donkey Kong eagerly.

"Actually, according to their website," said Zelda, using her laptop to access the internet in the taxi, "They replaced it with an oil rig."

"Oh well," said Donkey Kong, "At least we can see the lovely clifftop lookout!"

"Actually, they built over it due to avalanche hazards," said Zelda.

"And they put an oil rig on it," said Zelda.

"Well, I guess we can still visit the 'Heritage Listing Office'!" laughed Donkey Kong.

"Well, actually-" said Zelda, looking at a webpage.

Monkey Mines
10:40 AM

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1
st Place

"Here's the clue!" said Kirby, hopping out of the taxi.

"You must now take a scenic tour of the mine, where you will receive your next clue!" read Jigglypuff.

"Teams must now take a scenic tour by mine cart approximately two kilometres, ending in the heart of the Congo Jungle, where they will receive their next clue!" said Master Hand.

"Hurrah! Scenic tour!" cheered Kirby.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 2
nd Place

"You must now take a scenic tour of the mine, where you will receive your next clue!" read Zelda.

"Okay, let's go!" said Donkey Kong.

Kirby and Jigglypuff

"Whee!" said Kirby, enjoying the sharp dips of the erratic ride. "Isn't this great?"

"Well, it's not horribly scenic," said Jigglypuff, covered in oil.

Zelda and Donkey Kong

"Well, this is dull!" said Zelda angrily.

"The mine cart hasn't started moving yet," said Donkey Kong.

"Oh," said Zelda.

The mine cart started to move.

A big glop of oil landed on Zelda's laptop.

"Well this is great," said Zelda angrily.

"There's only one thing you can do: clean it!" said Donkey Kong inspiringly.

"Somehow I think these tissue companies need to have higher strength tissues," said Zelda, wiping away despite the constant flow of oil pouring from the roof onto her laptop.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1
st Place

"Thanks!" said Jigglypuff, taking the clue.

"There are some dodgy looking people around here," said Kirby slightly suspiciously, helping Jigglypuff open the clue.

"We are not thieves!" said a man walking past, oil spilling out from his pockets.

"O-kay…" said Jigglypuff impatiently, taking out the contents of the clue, "Fast Forward!"

"Fast Forward!" said Master Hand, "This is the last of three Fast Forwards, which if completed, will allow one team to skip all tasks and go straight to the pit stop! Teams can only use this power once, so they must decide when it is most applicable!
"To claim this Fast Forward, teams must travel twenty-five kilometres to Big Ape City, and find this traditional Donkey Kong Island Restaurant! The first team to eat five rare Donkey Kong delicacies will be allowed to skip all tasks and go straight to the pit stop!"

"Wanna do that?" said Kirby.

"Okay," said Jigglypuff cheerfully, trying to smuggle several jars of greasy liquid out using her cheeks.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 2
nd Place

"Fast Forward!" said Zelda, opening the clue.

"We've already done one," said Donkey Kong.

"Okay then, Road Block!" said Zelda.

"Road Block!" said Master Hand, "A Road Block is a task that only one person can perform! In this Road Block, that team member must go to this nearby store, and using local recipes, mix a fruit drink and serve it to this food critic! If the critic finds the drink of satisfactory standard, teams will be handed their next clue!"

"I'll do it, I'm good at cooking!" said Zelda, holding up a couple of brownies, "In fact, look at my lovely creations!"

The brownie bit Zelda's hand.

"Ow!" said Zelda.

The sitcom audience laughed.

Kirby and Jigglypuff

"Wow, the view of this city is amazing!" said Kirby, admiring the prestigious architecture of the city out of his window.

"What view?" said Jigglypuff, looking at the shonky looking flats on the other side of the road.

"There would be so much space to live!" said Kirby, admiring the acres of farmland.

"I'd probably suffocate," commented Jigglypuff, looking at several dozen people cramming themselves into a one-room flat.

On Road Block

"Add one tablespoon of Tequila," read Zelda from the cookbook, inserting a tablespoon of Tequila.

"And we're done!" said Donkey Kong excitedly.

"I may be a bad cook," said Zelda, putting a lemon on the glass, "But any idiot can follow instructions from a book and make a great drink! Nothing could possibly go wrong!"

Zelda walked up to the critic and served him with the beverage.

"Tasty!" said the critic after sipping the drink. "I'll just give you your next clue here!"

Donkey Kong took the clue and exclaimed, "Hurrah! Zelda, I knew you could do it!"

Kirby and Jigglypuff

"They say on the television that these insectides actually work!" said Jigglypuff, rubbing a mixture onto her skin, "That's a load of rubbish!"

"Jigs, you're rubbing tequila on yourself!" said Kirby.

"But I took a bottle of insectide from the village!" said Jigglypuff.

"Which could only mean…" said Kirby, alarmed.

"I probably shouldn't extinguish the cigar on my body?" said Jigglypuff.

"Yeah that, but I was thinking along another line," said Kirby.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 1
st Place

The food critic passed out.

Kirby and Jigglypuff

"Uh yeah, that," said Kirby, reminded, "The insectide might be mistaken for tequila and some people could get poisoned and what not."

"Here's the restaurant!" said Jigglypuff excitedly, hopping out. "Uh… Kirby… why the disguise?"

"Non-deportation because of eating food from this restaurant and not paying reasons?" said Kirby, putting on a cape and a mask.

"Welcome to the restaurant!" said a professional-looking waiter, holding open the door, "Your meals are inside!"

Kirby started to slowly lick his lips, but upon a glance from the numerous other waiters, tried to look like the non-eating type.

"Your first meal," said the waiter dramatically, "Twelve fried cockroaches!"

All of the locals (who were standing inside the restaurant for no apparent reason) gasped.

"What's the next one?" said Kirby, chewing on the cockroaches.

The waiter stared dumbfounded at Kirby's eating speed.

"Banana crayfish!" said the waiter triumphantly, unveiling the dish.

"Is this like an appetiser?" said Kirby, swallowing and yawning at the same time.

"A WHOLE COW!" said the waiter triumphantly and slightly annoyed. "FINELY FRIED AND PREPARED BY THE-"

Kirby burped.

"A METAL DEEP-FRIED VASE!" shrieked the chef running out from the kitchen, violently unveiling the meal, "POSSIBLY ONE OF THE HARDEST TO CHE-"

"What's next?" said Kirby, swallowing the last bit.

"And for the lady," said the chef, "One broccoli."

"Yay!" said Jigglypuff, taking the broccoli.

"Come on, Jigs! You can do it!" said Kirby.

"I can't!" cried Jigglypuff, choking.

"You haven't started!" laughed Kirby.

Jigglypuff nibbled a tiny part off the broccoli, and swallowed.

"I think I'm full!" cried Jigglypuff, moaning, "I can't take any more than this!"

The chefs, waiters, waitresses and locals grinned evilly.

"We won't stop for potato chips if you don't hurry up!" said Kirby threateningly.

Jigglypuff ate the broccoli.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Won the fast forward

"Wow!" said the chef admiringly, handing over the clue, "We haven't had a diner like this since-"

Kirby's mask fell off.

Everyone in the restaurant stared in shocked silence.

An eerie breeze whistled through the room, even though the windows were all closed.

"You," said the chef finally, the bewilderment fading from his eyes, replaced by icy malice.

"Um… hehe, yeah, hi…" said Kirby, taking a small step back. "Long time… no see…"

"Kirby," said Jigglypuff, "who are these people?"

The waiters approached holding frying pans.

"They seem rather nice," she added.

"Um…" said Kirby, "yeah… um, about that…"

"I told you," said the chef, his voice quivering with anger, "never to come back."

Kirby took another small step back.

"After what happened last time," said the chef, "nobody visited this part of the island for months." He was almost shouting now; his face had turned red.

The locals stood from their seats and picked up their steak knives threateningly.

"Actually," said Jigglypuff, rubbing her forehead thoughtfully, "they actually seem kind of angry. Maybe we should leave."

"Um, I'm sorry," said Kirby to the chef.

"WHY HAVE YOU RETURNED!?" cried the chef, whipping out a butcher's knife from underneath his chef hat. "Why have you come back here after you ate all those poor chil…"

"I'm on a television show," said Kirby.

"Not good enough," said the chef. "We're going to teach you a lesson."

The angry chef, waiters, locals, and various extras advanced, brandishing weapons.

"Um, Jigs," said Kirby, opening the clue, "what does this clue say?"

"What? Oh, 'You must now make your way to the pit stop for this leg of the race, situated in the highest point of Monkey Mountains!," said Jigglypuff.

"Thanks," said Kirby.

Kirby threw the clue at the chef's eye.

"AUGH!" cried the chef, stumbling backwards and flailing randomly. The butcher's knife waved through the air as he fell, sending people diving out of the way, tables and chairs and people and entrees crashing until the entire restaurant was a huge mess of strewn unconscious bodies.

Kirby and Jigglypuff tiptoed out.

"Kirby and Jigglypuff can now skip all tasks and make their way to the pit stop in Monkey Mountains, which is situated on the highest point on the entire island!" said Master Hand, "They must hurry, as the last team to check in, may be eliminated."

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 2
nd Place

"Detour!" said Zelda, opening the clue, "Hunt or Gather?"

"Detour! A detour is a choice between two tasks that teams must perform!" said Master Hand. "In this detour: hunt or gather!"

"In Hunt, teams must find this hut, and use traditional hunting tools to tranquilise five humans! Once they have carried the humans to the hut, they will receive their next clue. This task will be easy for those with co-ordination, but the transport of passed out bodies may seem slightly intimidating to some!"

"In Gather, teams must travel eight kilometres to this berry farm, where they must gather five different types of berries and put them into a small punnets! This task seems easy, but teams who try to stuff an apple into a berry punnet may run into some difficulty!"

"Let's hunt for humans!" said Zelda excitedly.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1
st Place

"I can't take it much more!" complained Jigglypuff, six metres from the taxi that dropped them off, breathing heavily due to the high altitude.

"The pit stop's right there!" said Kirby, stepping on the mat.

"Welcome to Donkey Kong Island," said a cheerful ape.

Kirby and Jigglypuff," said Master Hand, "You are team number one!"

"Yay!" cheered Jigglypuff excitedly.

"And I have some good news," said Master Hand, grinning, "As you have won this leg of the race, you both have won a trip to pollution-free Mute City!"

"Yay!" cheered Kirby and Jigglypuff.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
4 Humans Tranquilised

"Some traditional hunting tools, huh?" said Zelda, holding up the tranquiliser gun.

"Uh huh," said Donkey Kong, "Hey, this place looks like there'll be people inside!"

Zelda walked into the 'Ape and Human Harmony Conference', tranquilised the lecturer, took the body and dragged it out.

"Why did you tranquilise the speaker?" said a crazy security guy, running out in disbelief, "We were making so much progress! The apes were completely taken in by the speaker!"

The crazy security guy pointed to the many apes sitting in the auditorium, tapping away on their handheld gaming devices.

"Well, maybe you should have made peace with us, then maybe we wouldn't hunt your type!" said Donkey Kong angrily to the human security guard.

"But that's the point of this conference!" said the security guard hysterically.

"Oh," said Donkey Kong, "Well maybe you should have informed us!"

Zelda threw away the several dozen information brochures that they handed out at the door.

"Now to carry the bodies back!" said Zelda.

They carried the bodies back.

"You must now make your way to the pit stop for this leg of the race, situated in the highest point of Monkey Mountains!" read Zelda after opening the clue.

"Let's go!" said Donkey Kong.

2nd Flight
Landed 2:04 PM

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 3
rd Place

"We are not going to let ourselves get tricked this time!" said Ness angrily, "We've been played with for too long!"

"Yeah!" said Yoshi angrily, walking along, "We're not going to let anything distract us!"

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in 4
th Place

"Ness! Ness!" said Bowser, rushing up to Ness and Yoshi, "You left your wallets all the way back there!"

Bowser pointed to the gate that they had just left from.

"We're not falling for that!" said Ness angrily, "Do you really think that we'll just yield and let you go into first place?"


"We're not going back!" said Ness angrily.

"But we're not lying, your-"

"No!" shouted Ness.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in Last Place

"And we'll have twelve of these," said Samus, pointing to the twelve carat diamond rings.

"Okay," said the cashier, "That will be fourteen thousand, two hundred and twenty four dollars."

"Okay," said Samus, taking a credit card out of her pocket.

After pressing the cash register several times, she said, "Can I have your signature here, Yoshi!"

"Sure," said Samus, grinning.

"You don't look too much of Yoshi descent," said the cashier suspiciously.

"Are you making fun of her because she's different?" cried Falcon, shedding tears in high volume. "Just because she wanted to be a bit taller and wanted to look human-like?"

"Okay, I'm sorry," said the cashier, handing back the credit card.

"Thanks," said Samus and Falcon, wheeling their trolleys of jewellery out.

"Wait… since when is Yoshi a she?" said the cashier, confused.

Croquet Fans

Monkey Mountains

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 2
nd Place

"Here's the pit stop!" said Donkey Kong, pointing after getting out of the taxi.

"Zelda and Donkey Kong," said Master Hand, "You are team number two!"

"Hurrah!" cheered Zelda.

Monkey Mines

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 3
rd Place

"That will be eighty seven dollars," said the taxi driver politely.

"Sure!" said Ness happily, "Thanks for the ride!"

"Where's the money?" said the taxi driver, still smiling.

"I'm getting it now," said Ness, searching through his pockets.

"I can't find my wallet too!" said Yoshi, panicking.

"Oh no! They weren't lying!" said Ness, shocked.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 4
th Place

"Ness!" said Samus, approaching Ness after getting out of the taxi. "We found your abandoned wallets in the airport!"

"Yeah, and we checked online, and it seemed that somebody fraudulently used your credit cards to buy jewellery, so we cancelled the cards for you!" said Falcon.

"Okay thanks," said Ness, "We were just worried as we couldn't pay our taxi driv-"

A large bus drove through the road, blocking visual contact between Ness and Yoshi and Samus and Falcon.

"Where's that laughter coming from?" said Yoshi.

"And why am I hearing the words 'Ness', 'Yoshi' and 'fools' so much?" said Ness, confused.

"But seriously," said Falcon, stopping his laughter, "We wouldn't use your credits, because that would be a serious crime."

"Okay, I believe you," said Ness, "But can you guys tell us if Bowser and Ganondorf tell you they did it?"

"Sure," said Falcon, trying to hide the gigantic grin that was slipping through.

"And plus, I'd doubt you would go so low to commit credit card fraud-"

A car drove up to Samus.

"Yoshi!" said a lady sweetly, "You forgot your necklace, so I brought it here for you!"

"Aww, thanks," said Samus, pocketing the bracelet.

Ness and Yoshi stared angrily at Samus.

"Bye friends!" said Samus cheerfully, walking up to the marked flag.

Ness and Yoshi stared angrily at Samus.

"Well keep on racing then!" said Samus.

Ness and Yoshi stared angrily at Samus.

"I think they're on to us," whispered Falcon.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

"I don't think the locals like us," said Ganondorf, watching the angry locals shake the taxi backwards and forwards.

"I don't think so either," said Bowser, ducking his head, an axe narrowly skimming his hairline.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 3
rd Place

"Aww Samus, are you scared?" said Falcon suggestively, "Have you never been down a mine before?"

"Actually," said Samus yawning, watching the mine car going down a steep area of track, "I've been on entire planets that consist only of mines."

"Well are you scared of the dark?" said Falcon, putting his arm around Samus's shoulder.

"No," said Samus, answering seriously, "In fact it's rare for me to go on planets that aren't in complete darkness!"

"You're making this no fun, you know," said Falcon angrily.

"Sure," said Samus.

"In fact, this is no fun at all," said Falcon angrily.

"Why don't you get out then?"

"I will," said Falcon angrily.

Falcon stepped out of the moving mine cart, falling several hundred metres to his death.

"Are you okay?" said Samus, looking down.

Falcon did not respond.

"I think he's fine," said Samus.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 4
th Place

"Isn't this the most fun you've had?" said Yoshi, speeding through the mine.

"Not when you're not winning," said Ness angrily, reluctantly playing Internet Hearts.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

"I don't think any of our speeches to the locals helped us," said Bowser, trying to ignore the three people hitting him with shovels as they sat in the mine cart.

Congo Jungle

Samus and Falcon

"Fast Forward and Road Block!" said Samus. "Road Block! Who wants to shake and stir?"

"What about the Fast Forward?" said Falcon.

"Do you want to eat a banquet?" said Samus.

"Sure, why not?" said Falcon, "Don't you think someone would have done it already?"

Ness and Yoshi

"Fast Forward, we can't do that," said Ness, throwing away the green paper, "Road Block, who wants to shake and stir?"

"I will," said Yoshi.

Bowser and Ganondorf

"Can't you do something about the locals?" said Bowser, angry because of the constant shovel-hitting.

"Well, I did learn a curse or two," said Ganondorf.

"Well then do it already!" said Bowser angrily, still being hit by several shovel-wielding locals.

"Um…" said Ganondorf, scratching his head several times, "Gremke Kemermekch, Reke Tekerhmekh."

Bowser watched Ganondorf's graceful hand movements accompanying the curse. The locals stared.

"Rekekech Kekekech," said Ganondorf, moving his hands elegantly backwards and forwards. "Kekekech kek krayfunsuke."

The locals stared. Bowser looked at his watch.

"Remini Bkenke-"

Bowser choked on a muffin and exhaled large amounts of fire, setting the two apes and the human on fire.

"Aah!" shouted the locals, rolling on the ground.

"There," said Ganondorf proudly, "See? I told you my curses worked!"

"But it wasn't the curse!" said Bowser angrily, "I choked and set them on fire! You were just muttering some gibberish! That's not witchcraft!"

"Don't make me do my curse on you," said Ganondorf angrily.

Ness and Yoshi

"Hey, we can trick Samus and Falcon!" said Yoshi excitedly, "Us and Bowser and Ganondorf have done Road Blocks, so all we have to do is convince them that the other two teams are behind them!"

"What a great idea!" cheered Ness, "Let's trick them now!"

"Hey guys!" said Falcon, walking up to Yoshi, "You've both done your Road Blocks, right?"

Ness and Yoshi nodded in unison, trembling from the anticipation.

"So that means that as long as we're in front of Kirby and Jigglypuff and Zelda and Donkey Kong, we can get an easy Fast Forward?" said Falcon.

Ness and Yoshi nodded, trying to hide the imminent giggling.

"I can't take this for much longer!" said Yoshi, trembling.

"Are you really telling the truth?" said Samus.

"Okay! Okay!" cried Ness, "We're lying!"

"It's true!" cried Yoshi, "All we wanted to do is trick you so we could get you eliminated!"

"And we lied about Kirby and Jigglypuff being behind us!" cried Ness, "They're probably at the pit stop and they probably took the Fast Forward!"

"Waah!" cried Ness and Yoshi in unison, "We ruined our only chance of tricking you."

"Are you done yet?" said Falcon.

"Let's go," said Samus angrily, "They're lousy actors."

Samus and Falcon headed off towards the Fast Forward.

"I feel like I'm getting away with murder!" squealed Ness excitedly.

"Non-painful emotional murder!" said Yoshi, squealing immaturely.

"Our plan worked so well!" cheered Ness.

"Actually, I don't think it was our plan to tell them the truth," said Yoshi, "I thought we just cracked under the pressure."

"Our plan worked!" cheered Ness and Yoshi.

Congo Jungle Bar

On the Road Block

"So what do I have to do?" said Ganondorf angrily.

"Well," said the ape local, "You have to follow this recipe, and then if I think the drink is good enough, I'll give you the clue!"

The ape grinned cheesily.

"…" said Ganondorf angrily.

"So you should probably get to work!" said the ape cheerfully.

"…" said Ganondorf angrily.

"Well you better hurry up, silly billy!" said the big, fat, smiling ape.

"I don't think I want to do this task," said Ganondorf angrily, splashing a glass of Tequila on the ape.

"Well you have to, it's in the rules!" said the ape, grinning dumbly.

"I don't know, I'd really hand over the clue now if I were you," said Ganondorf, taking out a match.

"Don't play with matches!" said the ape cheerfully, "Mummy says it's dangerous!"

"DIE!" screamed Ganondorf, throwing the match on the ape.

The ape burnt a lot.

"Ow!" said the ape, still smiling.

"Will you hand me the clue now?" screamed Ganondorf.

"Nope," said the ape smiling.

Ganondorf sighed, walked twenty metres to a petrol station, grabbed a bottled beverage and handed it to the ape.

"Here's my home-cooked drink, stupid," said Ganondorf.

"Despite my unintelligent appearance, I am not going to be foolishly misled by such trickery as this," said the ape intellectually, "If you honestly think you can exploit my vulnerability as a lesser-class member of society in order to win a cash prize and a television show, I say, shame on you! So do you want to do the task now?"

Ganondorf poured the drink into a glass.

"Well done!" said the ape cheerfully, handing over the clue.

"…" said Ganondorf.

On the Road Block

"Is this good enough?" said Yoshi.

"Yes!" said the ape, handing over the clue.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in 3
rd Place

"Detour!" read Bowser, "Hunt or Gather?"

"Hunt," said Bowser.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 4
th Place

"Gather," said Ness.

Big Ape City

Samus and Falcon
Currently in Last Place

"Here it is!" said Falcon, stepping out of the taxi.

"Fast Forward taken?" said a shocked Samus, pointing to a sign.

"Those lying thieves!" said Falcon angrily.

Congo Jungle

Bowser and Ganondorf
On Hunt

"I can't be bothered hunting!" said Ganondorf lazily.

"Let's try our luck there!" said Bowser, pointing to a butcher's.

"You're not serious, are you?" said Ganondorf.

"Hi, do you sell human bodies here?" said Bowser, inside the butcher shop.

"Of course not! That's against our food safety standards!" said the butcher.

Bowser put a dollar on the counter.

"We don't sell bodies here!" said the butcher. "Are you crazy?"

Bowser put two more dollars on the counter.

"We… don't… sell… bodies…" said the butcher, trying to resist the temptation of gold coins.

Bowser put two more dollars on the counter.

"They're out the back," said the butcher, pointing to a room. "But they're very hard to find! We only keep bodies here if necessary!"

Ganondorf noticed that the room consisted entirely of human bodies.

"Yeah… I know you guys are ethical people," said Ganondorf, taking a few bodies.

"Well that was easy!" said Bowser, walking out.

"Hey you guys!" said a police officer, "Are those bodies?"

"Noo…" said Bowser slowly, "It's a skin condition…"

Bowser dropped the body.

"But they're not attached to the skin!" said the police officer.

"Uh… uh… OW!" said Bowser, trying to sound convincing, sweating.

Monkey Berry Farm

Ness and Yoshi
On Gather

"Gee, that was easy!" said Ness, holding the five punnets of berries. "Hey, one of these punnets doesn't have any berries in it! But I thought I had blueberries in it!"

Ness scratched his head.

"It's a mystery!" said Yoshi, chewing, "Maybe we should just get more!"

"Okay!" said Ness, filling the punnet with blueberries. "We're done!"

Two of the punnets were missing berries.

"Oh no! Where did they go?" said Yoshi, genuinely concerned, subconsciously chewing.

"It's like there's a thief among us!" said Ness.

Congo Jungle

Samus and Falcon
Currently in Last Place

"Who wants to shake and stir?" read Falcon.

"I will," said Samus.

Monkey Mountains

Bowser and Ganondorf

"There's the pit stop!" said Bowser cheering.

Bowser and Ganondorf sprinted up and landed on the pit stop.

"Bowser and Ganondorf, you are team number three!" said Master Hand.

"That's pretty good," said Bowser.

Monkey Berry Farm

Ness and Yoshi
4 punnets complete

"Are we dropping the berries or something?" said Ness, puzzled.

"I don't know," said Yoshi, "And can we get out of here quick? Looking at all of these berries makes me sick!"

"How can you be sick?" said Ness, "You haven't eaten anything!"

"I dunno," said Yoshi, unaware he had eaten another punnet full of berries subconsciously.

Congo Jungle

Samus and Falcon
Currently in Last Place

"Detour!" read Falcon, "Hunt or Gather?"

"I want to shoot people!" said Samus excitedly.

"I think you've done enough damage to this city today," said Falcon, showing Samus the first six pages of the newspaper, "Let's do berries!"

Monkey Berry Farm

Ness and Yoshi
3 punnets complete

"Oh man, I'm feeling really sick," said Yoshi, dizzy.

"Okay, you have to watch me put in each individual berry!" said Ness nervously.

"Okay!" said Yoshi, watching closely.

"First punnet done," said Ness, putting it on the ground, "You hold that punnet and make sure it doesn't get stolen or nothing happens to it!"

"Okay!" said Yoshi, taking the punnet and looking at it closely.

Samus and Falcon
0 punnets complete

"Hey! There's Ness and Yoshi! We're still in luck!" said Falcon.

"Get working at it!" said Samus, grabbing a handful of berries and stuffing it into a punnet.

Ness and Yoshi
0 punnets complete

"Hey, look!" said Yoshi, "There's Samus and Falcon!"

"You're right!" said Ness.

Ness looked at Yoshi's punnet. "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BERRIES?"

"I don't know!" panicked Yoshi, "I looked away for five seconds and it was gone!"

"They must be playing mind games with us!" said Ness, as Yoshi ate the berries out of his hands.

Samus and Falcon
3 punnets complete

"Two more!" said Samus, "Two more!"

"I'm trying!" said Falcon, mashing up the apple with his hands, "This apple won't fit in!"

"Idiot!" said Samus, slapping Falcon over the head, "Why do they call this a berry farm?"

"I love jokes!" said Falcon.

"This isn't a joke!" said Samus, slapping Falcon over the head.

Ness and Yoshi
2 punnets complete

"Okay, I'll watch you do the berries!" said Ness, puzzled, "Maybe there's a bug on you or something!"

"Two more!" said Yoshi, sealing the third punnet.

Yoshi glanced away momentarily and ate the three punnets of berries.

"It was you!" said Ness, shocked.

"What?" said Yoshi, confused.

"You're eating the berries!" said Ness, shocked.

"No I'm not!" said Yoshi, chewing on berries.

"Then what's that in your mouth?" said Ness.

"Uh…" said Yoshi, realising what was in his mouth. "WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

Samus and Falcon
5 punnets complete

"We're coming!" shouted Samus to the berry inspector.

"Here they are," said Falcon, putting the punnets on the counter.

"You need one more punnet," said the inspector.

"What?" said Samus, shocked, "That hungry thief! Wait there, Falcon!"

Ness and Yoshi
4 punnets complete

"Are ooo ore his is ompletely essecary?" said Yoshi, his tongue tied to a post. "his is umiliating!"

"Okay! We're done!" said Ness, relieved.

A punnet of berries disappeared.

"HOW CAN YOU DO THAT IF YOUR TONGUE IS TIED TO A POST!?" screamed Ness, completely insane.

Samus and Falcon
Completed Detour

"I just stole one of theirs," said Samus.

"Okay!" said Falcon, opening the clue.

"You must now make your way to the pit stop for this leg of the race, situated in the highest point of Monkey Mountains!" read Falcon.

Ness and Yoshi
Completed Detour

"Okay! We're done!" said Ness, walking up to the inspector.

"Here's your clue," said the inspector.

"You must now make your way to the pit stop for this leg of the race, situated in the highest point of Monkey Mountains!" read Ness.

"Okay, let's go Yoshi!" said Ness, "Yoshi?"

"I'm ill ere!" shouted Yoshi angrily.

Monkey Mountains

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 4
th Place

"It's going to be close," said Falcon, peering out the back window to find Ness and Yoshi tailgating their taxi.

"One of us is going to be eliminated for sure," said Samus.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"There must be a way to overtake them," said Ness nervously, looking at the narrow road.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 4
th Place

"Ohmygawsh! That's the pit stop!" said Samus, pointing ahead.

"That will be-"

"NO FARE!" said Samus, pushing the taxi driver out and jumping into the driver's seat.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"Get out!" said Ness, "This little piece of track is quicker than the road!"

"Okay!" said Yoshi, panicking.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in Last Place

"You're driving too riskily!" said Falcon, jumping out.

"NO!" screamed Samus, running over Yoshi.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 4
th Place

"Go on without me Ness!" cried Yoshi.

Pit Stop

Samus drove onto the pit stop, jumping off onto the map.

"Hurry Falcon, you useless tub of lard!" shouted Master Hand, "Ness and Yoshi are the least liked team left!"

Ness ran from a small path, and tumbled onto the pit stop.

"Hurry Falcon!" screamed Samus.

"Hurry Falcon!" screamed Master Hand.


"Ten more metres!" shouted Ness to the limping Yoshi.


"Sprint here you useless no-good thief!" screamed Samus to the sprinting Falcon.

Pit Stop

Yoshi ran onto the pit stop.

"SUCK! SUCK!" screamed Ness ecstatically, "WE BEAT YOU! WE BEAT YOU!"

"Ness and Yoshi," said Master Hand reluctantly, "You are team number four."

"Haha!" shouted Yoshi, "You tricked us all of this time, but we tricked you once, and now you're eliminated!"

Falcon staggered onto the pit stop.

"Samus and Falcon, I'm sorry to tell you," said Master Hand sadly, "You are the last team to arrive."

Samus and Falcon stared down at the ground glumly. Ness and Yoshi danced happily in circles.

"And I'm sorry to tell you," said Master Hand sadly, "You have been eliminated from the race."

"YESS!" cheered Ness and Yoshi.

Falcon started to cry, "Samus, I just wanted to tell you, even though you might not like me, I'll always be happy to be able to do these things with you! And I hope you find it within-"

"No, who am I kidding?" laughed Master Hand. "This is a non-elimination leg! You guys are still in the race! But I'll have to take your bags and what not."

"Yay!" cheered Samus and Falcon.

Ness and Yoshi stared jaw-dropped in disbelief.

"Yay!" cheered Samus and Falcon.

Ness and Yoshi stared jaw-dropped in disbelief.

"Yay!" cheered Samus and Falcon.

Ness and Yoshi stared jaw-dropped in disbelief.

Post-Leg Interviews

Samus and Falcon

"Next leg, Ness and Yoshi are meat," said Samus, "We've had our games but now we are going to physically and emotionally scar them."

Ness and Yoshi

"We're disappointed that they weren't eliminated," said Ness angrily, "But it just shows that we're going to win this thing! And we're not going to let anyone in our way!"

Bowser and Ganondorf

"We're on fire," said Ganondorf, clenching his fists, "And we're going to burn anyone who comes in our way."

Zelda and Donkey Kong

"We've come first and second the last two legs," said Zelda.

"Which means like any other team, we are capable of winning this race!" said Donkey Kong, "We might not look like dirty racers, but we will do anything we can to win," said Donkey Kong.

Kirby and Jigglypuff

Kirby and Jigglypuff smiled cutely at the camera.

"Uh… this isn't a photo shoot," said Master Hand, "You're supposed to talk about how fierce you are."

Jigglypuff painted her eyes red. "Am I fierce now?"

Master Hand sighed.

"Jigs, doesn't that hurt?" said Kirby, alarmed.

"Not really," said Jigglypuff. "But I can't see anything now."

"Um, wipe it off, then," said Kirby.

"What with?" said Jigglypuff.

"This towel," said Kirby, holding out a towel.

Jigglypuff grabbed Yoshi and rubbed him violently against her eyes.

"Arararararararar…" said Yoshi.

Finish Times:

Kirby and Jigglypuff: 11:32 AM

Zelda and Donkey Kong: 1:12 PM

Bowser and Ganondorf: 2:52 PM

Ness and Yoshi: 3:36 PM

Samus and Falcon: 3:37 PM – Not Eliminated

Please tell me who you would like to win! Please review, all feedback is appreciated!

If you notice any errors (including the entire story in general), notify us on: www (dot) smashmansion (dot) com (slash) forum!

And review!