Chapter 7: The… uh, epilogue.
Oh, yes. You saw it coming, didn't you?
This is the epilogue of the story of how I somehow tricked Hermione into loving me. The truth is; I, myself, to this day do not know why she chose me. Perhaps she didn't. Perhaps she lost a bet.
But who would she enter a bet with? Well, McGonagall for one… And probably Pince, the insane old bat of librarian…
Sorry. Sorry, I kind of lost myself there, didn't I?
The point is: Hermione loves me.
Now, if only there was a way to get Fred and George kidnapped or turned mute or something, then my life would truly be perfect.
"Oh. My. Dragon hide. Boxers."
Hermione and I quickly pulled away from each other, she was blushing and my ears could probably be mistaken for stop lights. That's right. I could create traffic accidents just by snogging my girl by the road.
"Fred," George said, not taking his eyes off us. "Fred," he repeated when his brother didn't answer. He turned to look at him.
Fred was leaning against the bureau in my room, his eyes were wide like galleons and he was taking deep breaths and clutching at his chest. "He -" he forced out. " He… He did… it… George…" he gestured blindly for his partner in crime.
"Yes, twin?" George said with a worried expression, pulling at Fred's arm and drawing him to stand on his own feet.
"Ron confessed his fancy to Hermione," he panted. "Now I've seen everything, you might as well kill me."
"With pleasure," I growled darkly. Hermione smacked me in the arm.
"Yes, yes," she sighed. "Ron is my boyfriend, can't we just act maturely about this -"
"I'm your boyfriend?" I gasped, shining up instantly.
Hermione smiled at me in apparent pity and patted my head. "Of course you are, dear. We snogged and snogged and now we're telling your family. That plus 'I love you's' equals a relationship."
"We're not telling my family, we're telling the two monsters who made my childhood a living hell!"
"Ron, don't swear!" Hermione berated at the same time that Fred said indignantly, "Monsters? We were just preparing you for the suffering you would face in the real world some day!"
I didn't know who to stare at. I settled for George, but when he grinned at me and did a very dirty gesture with his arms and hips synchronized, I groaned and turned around to look at the wall.
Hmm. I had never really noticed just how orange my room really was.
"Ronald, dear," said Fred in a perfect impersonation of our mother, "don't wear out the wallpaper, please."
"Bugger off," I muttered. Hermione gasped, "Ron!" and I glanced at her sheepishly.
"Wait a minute…" said George slowly. "Does mum know? Or dad? Or Ginny? Or Harry?"
My eyes widened. I didn't even want to think about the way they'd find out if the twins would tell them. I had to put a definite stop to it! "Er, Ginny probably knows."
Hermione, who apparently had thought the same thing that I had, turned to stare at me in awe of my stupidity. "Probably?" she hissed. "That's it, we'll die."
"Erm… She's definitely suspecting something, anyway!" I desperately tried, but I could not miss the look of glee my dear brothers were sharing.
"I think mum is in the kitchen," Fred mumbled to George. "Harry's out flying and Ginny's probably in her room."
George nodded. "I'll take mum and Ginny, you go for Harry. Use my broom, yours is a little slower."
And they were off, leaving me to panic and Hermione to sigh and impatiently tap her foot.
We descended the stairs roughly thirty minutes later, after some heavy snogging. (I managed to get her in the mood by telling her that she was sexy when she read aloud from Hogwarts, A Bloody History. I am a genius.)
Tapping silently, we walked through the - thank Merlin - empty kitchen and headed for the quiet living room. Apparently the twins hadn't found mum and had gone straight for Ginny or Harry together. Marvellous.
We sat down on the tatty couch, and I grabbed her hand awkwardly.
It was quiet for a couple of minutes, during which Hermione kept tensing and moving. Finally, I gave up.
"What is it?" I sighed. Suddenly I got a bit nervous. What if she had changed her mind? 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought you were Viktor Krum! You have to forgive me.' Bloody Vicky.
"It's just…" she said, quietening abruptly. Then she turned to me and folded her arms over her chest, looking slightly unnerved. "Did you really think I was in love with Harry?"
I stared at her. Was she still on about that? "Er… yeah."
Hermione turned away, frowning deeply. I carefully put my arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. Wow, I learned this stuff fast.
"I only thought that because I heard you… say it… to him…" It dawned on me that she had in fact told Harry that she was in love with him. "Bugger, I had forgotten about that."
"Don't swear," said Hermione automatically and continued without missing a beat. "When did you hear my say that?"
My anger flared, she had to remember telling a bloke she loved him! What was to say she wouldn't forget in the morning that she told me today? "You were in your room and you told Harry you loved him! I heard you through the door."
Hermione stared at me in shock. "Ron, we were practicing."
"Yeah, it's alright, I know that he's much more wealthy and handsome and brave, and if you need some snogging practice with me, I - well how could I say no, and -"
"Ron!" Hermione yelled, waving a hand in front of my eyes to stop my rambling. "I was practicing what to say to you."
"Oh?" I said, then understanding dawned on me. "Oooh. I get it now."
"Congratulations," muttered Hermione under her breath, probably thinking I wouldn't hear her.
I just grinned at her and leant forward, Hermione sighed with a sweet smile and touched her lips to mine. My stomach fluttered just as much, if not more than it had the first time we kissed. It was bloody buggering perfect.
"OH MY GOODNESS!"
"Why do people keep doing that?" I growled as Hermione and I shot away from each other, both landing on separate ends of the couch.
"Oh my!" it was my mother. The thing that Molly Weasley had wished for and dreamed of the last four or five years had finally come true. Her youngest son was kissing Hermione Granger. I could see the images spinning through her mind. Engagement, wedding, children, grandchildren, you name it - she saw it.
"Mum?" I said gently when she had stood stock still with her hands covering her mouth for almost five minutes. Standing up, I walked up to her and shook her carefully. "Mum?"
Then I saw it. The sign of life. My mother started crying. The next thing I knew I was enveloped in one of her fiercest embraces yet. My ribs are still a bit sore from the force of it. I sighed as she sobbed and clung to me and said sentences not even a drunk would understand, like, "Merlin, so big, lots of children, happiness," and at one point I think I actually heard her say the word "backyard wedding."
"Well, seems like mum's heard the news of the happy couple," said a voice I knew very well. Fred. Or George. I couldn't really tell from the position I currently was in.
"Muuuum," I groaned. "Let me go."
"Oh yes, of course!" my mother gasped. "Hermione! Where is my lovely daughter-to-be?"
Hermione stepped forward, looking both happy and unbelievably afraid as my dear gentle mother crushed Hermione to her, sobbing freely once again as Hermione clapped her back uncertainly.
I looked around, seeing Ginny giving me a thumbs-up, my dad looking a bit teary-eyed himself as he clapped me on the shoulder and congratulated me, and then there was Harry. My best mate. Who stood there grinning impishly at me as if Christmas had arrived early.
"What's so bloody funny?" I asked, not being able to contain a smile myself.
"Nothing," he said innocently. "I'm just happy for you."
"Cheers," I said, frowning slightly when he continued to grin at me in amusement. "What the bloody hell is so damn funny?"
"Oh, I'm just thinking about all the things Hermione will blackmail you with when you refuse to do your homework in the future," he grasped my shoulder, and grinned even wider. "Good luck, mate. See you again when we graduate seventh year. If you're still alive by then, obviously."
Just when I had decided on hitting him, Hermione came up next to me and grasped my hand. "Alright, Harry?" she said, smiling at him.
"Never been better," Harry grinned at her. "I'm really happy for you, Hermione."
"Yes, well," Hermione said, glancing at me, "so am I."
Then she kissed me. In front of Harry. And my parents and my little sister and - worst of all - the bloody twins. They immediately started teasing, but Hermione and I ignored them to head up to my room and enjoy some quality snogging.
The last thing I saw as we left the room was George gasping for air and once again clutching at his chest.
"Fred… he… he didn't… his ears didn't… no red..."
"I know," said Fred, pulling his twin to his feet for the second time that day. "We might just make a man of him yet."
This is what I learned today: …
Aw, bugger it. I learned something and it helped me with something.
A/N: That's it, folks. It's over and done with. Please review and tell me what you thought about the ending of this little story.
I would like to thank all the people that has read and reviewed this story faithfully, even though my updating haven't always been the best. Cheers, I love you.