1Hello! This fic is kinda weird, but I just thought that it would be funny.
All standard disclaimers apply. I know Hinata is way Ooc, but that's why it's funny. I did it on purpose.
Hinata stood in front of that door. This door had been plaguing her for the last half hour. It wasn't that it wouldn't open, it's just that she couldn't bring herself to open it. It was the door to Naruto's house. It was October 12th, Naruto's birthday. Sakura had asked her to keep Naruto busy and away from the ramen shop for a couple of hours. Hinata fluttered with the present in her hand. Could she really do this? She swallowed and reached for the door. The handle suddenly turned itself, and the door swung forward at an extremely high velocity.
"All right! It's my birthday!" Naruto shouted, not even noticing he'd hit Hinata with the door and she'd gone toppling off the landing into a pile of trash.
"To the ramen shop!" He yelled, jogging off at high speed.
The pile of trash stirred. Hinata sat up, and felt the bump on her forehead. What just happened? She looked up at the balcony she just fell off and remembered. Naruto! Her one and only love! A sudden fire filled Hinata's eyes (not unlike what happens to Rock Lee) and she ran off to find the blonde haired youth.
Naruto happily skipped down the pathway to the shop. It was so lovely out today! He was going to spend the whole day in the shop, gorging himself. Hehe, birthdays rocked.
"Naruto-Kun!" Someone shouted. The voice sounded really familiar, but he'd never heard it so loud.
"Hinata?" Naruto managed to say before being tackled to the ground. Hinata had a huge grin on her face, and was hugging Naruto like Ino tried to hug Sasuke.
"I caught you! I thought I'd never catch up." Hinata said, without a single stutter or hint of shyness.
"Are you feeling okay?" Naruto asked. He was extremely confused. Why was Hinata hugging him? "You don't seem to be, you know, normal."
"Oh you. It's that frankness that makes you so adorable." Hinata said, pinching Naruto's cheeks.
Okay, now Naruto was positive Hinata wasn't feeling so well. When the shyest girl in Konoha starts pinching cheeks, she's either running a temperature or it's the apocalypse. Then, a horseman's shadow fell over the both of them. Naruto was about to start yelling that it was the end of the world, but he sensibly looked up and saw it was Master Gai riding a pony.
"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting to meet you here Naruto. And in that position..." Gai said accusingly.
Naruto tried to shove Hinata off him, but she was locked on like a clampet. He just gave up and looked over at Gai.
"Why the hell are you riding a pony?" He asked.
"Oh! Well, it never hurts to get a pet, right? Keeps the spirit of youth alive! ONWARD TEACUP! LATENESS IS NOT ALLOWED!"
The pony seemed to be channeling Shikamaru, as it sighed and slowly shuffled onward. Naruto turned back to the problem of Hinata.
"Look, we should really get you to a doctor. I think you're sick." Naruto said, somewhat concerned.
"Oh, you want to play doctor now? All right, I'll be the nurse that inspects you. Or do you want to inspect me?" Hinata said playfully.
Naruto really couldn't think of anything to say. This was just way too weird. Seriously f'd up.
"If we're going to role play, we need to get some costumes. Come on Naruto! You can help me try on lingerie!"
Naruto had finally snapped back out of his shocked daze. He needed to get away from her. Fast. Hopefully whatever she caught wasn't contagious.
"Hinata, look! It's umm..." what did Hinata like? He couldn't easily distract her if he couldn't make up a cool object. Thankfully for him, the distracting object happened to be in a shop window.
"Oh wow!" Hinata exclaimed, dragging Naruto over to a jewelry shop window. "Look at that ring! It's so beautiful! Can it be our wedding ring?"
She turned to Naruto, but all she was holding was a dummy's hand. Naruto had run off.
"Sweetie? Where'd you go?" Hinata called out. "Oh, He must be shy. That's so cute!"
Hinata took off after Naruto , or at least the direction she thought he went. Naruto peeked out from the tree he was hiding in.
"Man, what's gotten into her? This is becoming a weird birthday..." Naruto hopped out of his hiding place, and resumed his journey to the ramen shop.
Sakura was carrying several large bags in her hands, barely able to see where she was going. "He better appreciate this..." Sakura thought. She was putting a lot of hard work into this party. She just hoped all the others were doing their respective jobs.
"Hello my sweet Sakura!"
Sakura looked around her bags to see Lee standing there grinning.
"Hi Lee. Do you mind moving? This stuff is heavy."
"Is it for the party?" Lee asked.
"How did you find out!" Sakura blurted. She regretted saying that almost immediately. It was just that nobody really wanted Lee or Gai to be at the party. They had a bad habit of ruining them. There was Shino's birthday. Then Kakashi's. The list went on and on. Lee didn't seem to mind though.
"Master Gai and I found out when I noticed this discarded invitation in your trash."
"What were you doing in my trash?" Sakura questioned.
"Ermm, here, let me help you carry that! In fact I'll carry you too!"
Lee threw Sakura and all her party supplies onto his shoulders.
"It's at the Ramen shop, correct?" Lee asked.
"Yes, it i...wait, is that Hinata?"
The two looked over at Hinata, who was searching under things and over things.
"Good morning miss Hyuuga! Are you keeping the fire of your youth burning?"
Hinata came over to them, still searching around.
"Hello! Have you seen Naruto? He ran away from me." Hinata stated.
"I thought I told you to keep an eye on him!" Sakura lashed.
"I was, but he ran off for some reason. My darling is just so shy...Wait, I can just use my Byakugan to find him! Hinata, you're a genius!"
Hinata runs off at top speed, leaving Sakura and Lee dazed.
"Did she just call Naruto her darling?" Sakura asked.
"Yes... she did. Maybe I should talk to Neji about this..."
The bell in Konoha rings, indicating it's 9:30.
"Oh no! The party is going to start in 8 hours! I've got to hurry! LATENESS IS NOT ALLOWED!" Lee shouted, running to the ramen shop. Sakura held on for dear life. She made a mental note to spit on Lee's grave after she finished killing him.
Naruto was almost there. Just two more blocks, then he'd have his delicious breakfast. He was still worried about Hinata though. Where'd she gone to? His question was answered in the form of another hug.
"There you are! Why did you run away?" Hinata said, squeezing Naruto.
"Oy vey...Hinata, will you please let go of me? I'm trying to go eat."
Hinata stepped back and her eyes started to well up.
"You just don't like me, do you?" Hinata started to cry.
"Oh no, don't cry! I didn't mean it like that! You're a great person, it's just..."
"So you do want to do it! You sly dog. Come on, honey, we'll go to my house!" Hinata grabbed Naruto and started pulling him along, having a much tighter grip.
"Wait, Hinata!" Naruto's cries were ignored as he was dragged back to the Hyuuga household.
Kiba was enjoying his ice cream very much. Chocolate Moose Tracks was his absolute favorite. He'd let Akamaru have a lick or two every once in a while. Then he saw the strangest sight. Hinata was not just touching, but dragging Naruto along. Kiba dropped his ice cream in shock. Hinata spotted him and skipped over.
"Hello Kiba! Isn't it a lovely day out?" Hinata said, reverting to her Naruto hugging state. "Naruto-kun and I were just going to my house for some...fun, if you get my drift."
"I...uh...that's...hunh?" Was all that the doggy ninja could spit out. Akamaru was also really confused. Naruto just mouthed 'help me' to Kiba.
"I need a favor though." Hinata resumed. "Do you have a collar?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess I do. Why?"
"Sweetie here keeps trying to get away, but he's just shy. Can I have it?"
Kiba could only hand over the collar and leash in disbelief. What had gotten into her? Maybe Shino knew... Kiba watched as Hinata clipped the collar around Naruto and kept dragging him along.
"For god sakes man, save me!" Naruto spit out as he was pulled around the corner. Kiba then remembered that he needed to get a gift for Naruto's birthday party, although from the looks of things there wouldn't be enough Naruto left by the end of the day to receive the present.
The end of chapter one! I'm having a lot of fun with this one. Please review!