Author's Notes: Well, this is unbeta'd but, since spring break ends tomorrow and I can wave goodbye to any writing time, I figured I'd put it out there.

Hope you enjoy:D


Drunk – More Sober than Usual

"If someone should ever write a story about my life, I should hope they make it clear that I'm not always perfect. I should hope they say that I like apple pie and red nailpolish and Remus most of all. Most of all. I don't care what happens, I like Remus best. Make them write that."

"I think I ought to be jealous, dear."

"I think so, too."

"The rest of us aren't so bad, you know."

"I imagine you aren't. But I still like Remus best. He's the nicest."

"I'm nice!"

"You can be, I suppose. But I like Remus best."

"Fair enough. As long as you love me best."

"I love you best."

"Good. I can die happy."

"If you insist. But I'd be very sad if you died. Very sad. And it would go in my biography, how I cried for forty days and forty nights over you, and how I missed you until the day that I died."

"Why forty days, love?"

"Oh, it's just a religious thing. But just for your sake, I'd cry forty-one. Is that better?"

"Much better. But you know I'll never leave you, Lily. I love you."

"I know."

"Now, keep on with your biography. It's most intriguing."

"You're a flatterer."

"I do my best."

"I know. But anyway. They'll also have to write about what I want to do when I graduate. And I want to get a job at the ministry as an Auror, and get married, and live in a cozy little cottage and have twelve children."

"Twelve children?"

"Twelve. And I'll love them all."

"I know you will. I love you."

"You've already said that, James. Now stop distracting me, so I can finish my biography."

"Sorry, dear."

"Oh, stop. Now you're laughing at me."

"Am I laughing?"

"No, but you are inside. You're laughing at me because you think I'm being silly. But I'm not. Really. I'm making an autobiography because what if I die? What if I die and no one remembers me?"

"I'll remember you, Lily."

"But you're just one person."

"But I'll miss you for all the world. I'll cry for one hundred years, and afterwards I'll never be happy again."

"That's somewhat pessimistic."

"But it's true. I love you that much."

"You keep saying that!"

"I keep meaning it."

"You're very sentimental today, James. Are you drunk?"

"Maybe a little. But I think you are, too. The Prewett brothers were there today. . . I think they spiked the punch."

"That is so like them. So like them. I ought to dock points. I can, you know. I'm Head Boy."

"Are you Head Boy, Lily?"

"Did I say that? Oh, my. Head Girl. Stop laughing! I meant Head Girl."

"I know you did - and that's what makes me think you're drunk."

"I am; a little. But I don't care today. Maybe it's because I'm drunk that I don't care, or maybe it's because if I were sober I'd see this as occasion to be drunk, but it doesn't matter. In any case, I'm drunk now and there isn't much I can do about it."

"A surprisingly clear head, for a drunkard."

"Oh, stop. I'm hardly a drunkard."

"I know. I was teasing."

"I know you were. Now I'm going to finish my biography, so shut up and listen."

"Yes, Mother."

"I'm serious, James! This is important to me!"

"All right, all right. I'm sorry. Carry on."

"You old softie. So. I'll have twelve children and still keep working. It will be very impressive, but my husband will help out a lot, because he's like that. And he loves me. Unconditionally, he loves me."

"I love you."

"I know, James. I love you, too."

"I know you do. But you need to hear it more than I do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that everytime you see Alice crying over that Ravenclaw- George? Greg? Garie? Garrett! Garret, that's it - you think, 'Will that happen to me?'"

"Do not!"

"Do too. I know you."

"Well, all right, I do. And I worry, sometimes, that maybe you love me more than I love you. And maybe you'll be the one crying."

"But I'll be happy, too."

"Happy? Why?"

"Because...because you're happy. Well, happy-ish. You'll be sad, I imagine, that you hurt me, but you'll be happy because you'll be free. And that's enough for me."

"That's very self-sacrificing, James."

"I know. I love you, remember?"

"There you go, doing it again!"

"Because, Lily, this conversation is depressing you. Now I want to hear the rest of your biography."

"I - oh, all right. Where was I? Oh, yes. The children and the husband. Well, they'll all go to Hogwarts and be the best of both me and their dad."



"Well? What happens after that?"

"I don't know."

"You don't...know?"

"No. That's as far as I've gotten."

"Good. I'm glad. If you planned everything out, life would be very boring."

"I think so, too."

"I'm glad we agree."

"We're very loose-tongued tonight, James."

"We're both slightly drunk."

"But not so drunk that we can't acknowledge our drunkeness."

"And yet drunk enough to be confused by that sentence."

"You were confused by that, but not the one I made earlier, about it being okay to be drunk?"

"No, I was confused by that one, too, but I didn't want to say anything."


"I love you."

"Should that start getting annoying?"

"I hope not."

"Good. Because it's not. I like hearing it."

"I love you, I love you, IIIIII loooooove yooouuu."

"Now you're being silly."

"Yes, I am."

"Hey - James?"


"I love you."

"That's my line."

"I know. But it's true."

"I know."

"I - "

" - love - "



"Jynx, you owe me a soda."


"It's a muggle thing. When we say something at the exact same time, whoever says, 'Jynx, you owe me a soda' first is due a free soda."

"Oh. Would you like one now?"

"No one ever actually gets the sodas, James."

"Whyever not?"

"I don't know - they just don't."

"Pointless custom."

"Yep. And delightfully muggle. You know what I'd like right now?"




"Yes. Really. I'm already drunk as it is, I might as well get more drunk."

"All right, you can have some more Firewhiskey. But first I need you sober enough to answer a question."

"Fair enough. Ask away."

"Can I be in your biography?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, first - let's hope that I don't die. Can I be in your biography? Can I be the guy who helps with the kids and lives in the cottage with you and helps pay Hogwarts tuition?"

"...Are you proposing?"

"Are you sober enough to answer?"

"If your proposing, yes. If you're not, I am entirely too drunk to understand the question."

"Then yes. I'm proposing."

"Of course I'll marry you. I love you."

"Good. I'm glad. I love you, too Would you like that Firewhiskey now?"

"Yes, please."

"Nice face."

"I've just agreed to marry you, be a bit more considerate!"

"Sorry, sorry. I know it stings as it goes down."

"Hey, James?"


"Will you marry me?"

"Yes. I will. And you'll be in my biography, too, because I'll make them write that I loved you best."

"Best best?"

"Best best. More than I love Remus."

"Oh shut up, you. But I'm flattered."

"Let's go to bed, Lily. I'm tired."

"If you insist."

"Goodnight. I -"

"- love -"


"...hey, Lily?"


"Jynx. You owe me a soda."