Chapter 6: Confessions
Max walked into the kitchen and leaned against the wall opposite Logan. She looked terrified but determined to talk.
"Look Max, I've been meaning to"
"Logan wait. I really need to say this now before I lose my nerve."she interrupted.
"Go ahead."he said with curiosity. Taking a deep breath Max dove head first into the confession that would change her life in one way or another.
"I'm sorry about the other night."she began.
"Max, it's fine."she lowered her head with a slight smile at Logan's continual forgiveness.
"I was scared Logan. All my life I was told that emotions were weakness and that they would only get me killed. That's why I ran, that's why I always run. I felt all my defences and barriers crumble when you kissed me. I freaked. Every part of my being screamed 'run'. And I did, leaving behind the best thing that's happened to me. When I saw you in the alley with that thug, I knew I couldn't let you get hurt, not again, not because of me standing back and watching the trigger being pulled."Max choked at the thought.
"That's why you took the bullet for me."Logan thought out loud.His eyes were filled with concern as he watched Max fight her internal battle. He had never seen her this open, so shaken. Max nodded at Logan's comment.
"I didn't think twice about. I couldn't let you die. Then I lost you, or at least I thought so. I was back at Manticore."
"Max,"Logan wished that he could do something to erase all her memories from that God-forsaken place.
"Lydecker wanted to know where Zack and the other were. I didn't know and he didn't believe me. Brin walked in dragging you behind her. They had beaten you so badly." tears began to form in Max's eyes as she relived her dream.
"If I didn't tell Lydecker where Zack was, he would kill you. I guess that's why Zack never told me where the others are. He knows my weakness. I really didn't know Logan, but he still didn't belive me. Lydecker put the gun to your head, ready to pull the trigger."the tears in Max's eyes began to overflow.
"I couldn't sit there and watch him kill you. So I turned myself over to Lydecker and the project, but only if he would let you go. You kept telling me that you weren't worth it and to save myself, with out words. Lydecker agreed to the trade and I thought you would be okay. But he lied Logan, he lied. Brin was the one to fire the shot that would kill you. I killed them both before they knew what hit them. Brin wasn't Brin anymore, she killed you so how could I ever hope of getting my sister back."Max wiped away the tears running down her face, but they were soon replaced by new ones.
"I held in my arms as you died, completely helpless. You said I was free to have a life now with Lydecker dead. My life is cold and empty without you in it. I need you Logan. I've never needed anyone before, but I need you. So when I woke to find you beside me unharmed, I knew I had to say something to let you know how much you mean to me. I had never been so scared as when I thought I had lost you forever."Max slid down the wall as began to sob. Logan was at her side in a second to wipe away her tears. Max leaned her head against his knee taking in Logan's sent.
"I love you Logan. I'm nothing without you. You made me see that there are things in this jacked up world worth saving. I know that you probably don't feel the same, and I understand. How could you love something like me? I'm a freak of nature, a mutation, a cold-blooded killer. I embody all the things that you fight to stop everyday." Max lifted her head to look at Logan's eyes but couldn't bear to see the disgust in his eyes so she look past him.
"I love you Logan Cale, always, no matter what." Her eyes fell to the floor as she ended her confession. Logan's gentle hand reached down towards Max's face as his fingers lifted Max's chin forcing eye contact.
"Max, do you really believe that I think of you as a mutation and a clod-blood killer?" Logan's voice was soft.
"Why wouldn't you? It's true. I am all of those things and more." Max's eyes were filled with sadness.
"Because, when I look at you I see a smart, strong, compassionate, loyal and beautiful woman. You don't know how often I wish that I was more like you. You stick by your friends no matter how bad the situation may be. You always have a come-back, even when they may not be appreciated,"he added with a smirk, and getting one in return. "When I'm feeling sorry for myself you always put me back in my place or cheer me up with one of your smiles." Logan wiped away her remaining tears.
"Max you are the reason I get up in the morning. If it wasn't for you I'd be dead by now. You gave me back my life when I thought it was over. When you were lying in my bed unconscious I decided that it was now or never, so now I'm living up to it. Max you mean everything to me. You are all that I could have hoped for and so much more. I love you too, Max. I've loved you since the first time I saw you crash into my apartment. I miss you when your still here because I know that you'll have to leave eventually. Max, you are as vital to my existence as air. I don't think that I could live without you, and I don't ever want to find out."
"Really?"Max asked hopefully.
"Really."Logan answered with a smile. Max looked like a little kid on Christmas morning who just got exactly what they wanted. Throwing herself into Logan's arms Max happy to know that he really did love her, she suddenly remembered Logan's birthday.
"Oh, I almost forgot!"she said as she stood up kissed Logan on the forehead and ran into Logan's bedroom.
"Where you going?" Logan asked completely confused. Max walked out of the bedroom with a box in hand. "What's that?"he asked pointing at the box.
"Open it. It's for you."she said handing it to Logan.
"Oh just open it."Max cut him off sounding slightly exasperated. Logan rolled his eyes as he lifted the top of the box off to find a picture frame with a letter behind it glass. Logan's eyes met her's with some confusion.
"I wrote it while you were in the shower last night. Read."
In this crazy city that we call home there is pain, sadness and suffering everywhere you look. But, somehow we managed to find one another amidst all of the chaos. You are my solace, my source of peace and protection from the storm. You mean more to me than anything. I wish that I could in someway repay you for all you've done for me, but there is nothing that you don't already have. Except this one thing that has unknowingly belonged to you for quite a while. Logan I give you my heart, trusting that you will keep it safe from harm. I promise to be by your side in your time of need and when you need a shoulder to cry on. You are my everything Logan Cale, and when I'm with you I have nothing in the world to fear.
Max reached over to kiss away the tear rolling down Logan's cheek.
"Happy Birthday."she whispered into his ear. Logan looked at Max never wanting her to leave him again. Max smiled at the only man she would ever love and kissed him expressing everything that she couldn't put into words.
Later on Logan sat on the couch with Max's head in his lap as he played with her hair. They spent the entire morning making out in the kitchen until Bling had walked in on the 'happy couple' as he had put it. Now they were content to simply be in each others presence knowing that they had their entire lives ahead of them to spend together.
"So Bling told you it was my birthday?"Logan asked as he brushed a lock away from Max's face to see her better.
"Yep."she answered as she flopped onto her back. "That's what got this whole started.
"Remind me to thank him later." Logan bent down to kiss his angels soft lips.
"Will do."she said between kisses. They had wasted so much time holding onto their fear that neither could imagine ever letting go of each other. Max had never been so happy. She had finally been honest with herself and Logan. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted and she breathe again.
Now I know why they say 'the truth will set you free.'
As for Logan, everything was right in the world as long as he had Max by his side. Nothing else seemed quite as important as it used to. He would finally have a life that he found truly fulfilling. He had his love and he couldn't ask for more. Max loved him and he loved her.
It's funny how everything that seems so complicated boils down to something so simple.
"You know what Logan?"Max said with mischievous grin.
"What?"he countered with a grin of his own.
"I think it's time for a Cale culinary miracle."she stated matter of factly, but keeping the mischievous glint in her eye. Logan grabbed a pillow and lightly hit her in the face laughing.
"So that's all I am to you huh? Your own personal chef?"he said laughing.
"Yeah basically."Max said as she laughed and tried to block Logan's playful attacks.
Max and Logan had finally been honest with themselves and each other. Everything was right in the world as their laughter carried through the building giving other tenets hope of finding their soul mates. If these two people who were so completely different, yet so much alike could do it, anyone can.
****Well, that's it! It's all over!!! Whew. Tell what you think about it n' all that jazz. Thanx so much to all you reviewers out there! I promise I'll be back soon!.luv-ya*****
~>Like I said before they are not mine and never were, so suing would be pointless.