Kaira: ...--slowly glances to the left-- ... --slowly glances to the right-- ...--slowly looks down her shirt-- ...Well, what happened to the votes?!
Vivi: Maybe they're hiding.
Yuffie: 'Cause they're scared of you!
Barthello: I know we are...
Kaira: --glare-- Yeah, yeah, whatever! Well, because of a lack of votes...we once again have a five-way tie that needs breaking... --sigh--
Cid: Well, now what then?
Kaira: Hmm...looks like it's time for another... --drum roll-- KAIRA'S POETRY CORNER!!
Brother: Ahh, do we have to?
Kaira: Yes, now shut up and listen. --smiles innocently-- My first order of business is to announce who the tie is between. First up, we have Tidus.
Auron: Well, that's surprising...and I though people liked you.
Kaira: The second person...er...dog...is Angelo.
Angelo: --thinking-- No one ever gives the dog a chance... --growl-- I mean, really! In fights I'm the one that does all the work...not that Rinoa, and yet people still like her more than me!
Kaira: That's because she's more entertaining and more fun to make fun of.
Angelo: --perks head up in confusion--
Kaira: ...I'm a wolf, remember...? ...I speak canine fluently...Anyway, the third person is Dona.
Dona: How dare people vote for me, the best Summoner on Spira!
Vincent: ...On what?
Barthello: Nooo!! Don't take my Dona away from me!
Kaira: ...um...yea...next we have Raijin.
Raijin: That's not very nice to vote for me, ya know.
Kaira: We know already, dammit! Gosh, some people really get on my nerves...
Kimahri: Who last out?
Ruby: --heavy southern accent-- Me? And I always thought I was pretty likable...
Rinoa: Well, apparently not...haha!
Kaira: Newsflash, honey...no one likes you either...
Kaira: SO! To begin our Poetry Corner, it's time for another Diss the Cast!
Welcome back and enjoy my rhythmic intellect
Poetry is to me as Blitzball is to Jecht
His son on the other hand isn't quite so gifted
It's no wonder Yuna'd rather suck on Brother's tattooed neck
Yuna: --shocked-- Eh...what?!
Tidus: Yuna! What have you done?
Yuna: N-nothing! I can't stand him...
Brother: I always knew you wanted me, baby --wraps arm around Yuna--
Tidus: Back off, perv! --slashes sword at him--
Kaira: Now Rikku however is a pretty cool chick
I admire her spunk and her thieving's pretty slick
Sorry I'm focusing so much on FF10
Pid ed'c dra uhmo uhm fedr e luum myhgiyka
Kaira: OK enough of 10, lets move on to 7
And talk about a place called the seventh heaven
Tifa runs a little bar where men come and drink
Sorry Hooters, Tifa's where your customers are headin'.
But we can't forgot about Aeris, the other main girl
Between her and Tifa, Cloud's head's in a whirl
People go back and forth, debating who he should be with,
But face it, Cloud'll choose those racks, though they make me wanna hurl...
Tifa and Aeris: --shocked and horrified face--
Aeris: He'll what?
Tifa: My what?
Kaira: So that's the end for now, but I'll be back again
Making music with my rhymin' like Kuja and Blank in bed
I can promise you however, there'll be more insults to come
So wait for Diss the Cast 3. This is Kaira, peace, the end!
Kuja: --sigh-- If only it were true...
Blank: --cringe-- I hate you, Kaira.
Kaira: No, you don't! You love me! --hugs Blank--
Blank: Fine...but if I didn't love you, I'd hate you.
Kaira: And now it's your turn Tidus, Angelo, Dona, Raijin, and Ruby!
All five of them moan in annoyance
Kaira: Tidus, you're first.
Tidus: Great... --looks at Yuna standing in there watching him-- Hmmm...
Roses are red, violets are blue
But not even roses compare to fair you
Though beauty defines them, aromas so sweet
My flower of the field is by far the elite
Her voice is like the ocean, her eyes shimmering jewels
To I ever let her slip away, I'd be the king of fools
Yuna: AWWWW!! Tidus, that was beautiful!! --runs up to him and embraces him with a kiss--
Everyone else 'awws'
Kaira: Yeah, yeah, we all know it's sappy...Angelo, take your turn before I puke!
Angelo: --nods and walks up onto the giant rock being used as a stage--
Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
Bark bark bark woof erruff
yip yip yip bark bark arf-uf
Ruff ruff ruff, arf, woof wuff
Red XIII: --sigh-- She has such a way with words...
Barret: What the !& did that dog just say?!
Kaira: --wipes away tear-- That was amazing Angelo, just stunning...--sniffle-- Okay... --sniffle-- Dona, you're up --sniffle--
Dona: --rolls eyes-- Why must I participate in something so frivolous?! It rather quite annoying that do this crap to us... I say we don't up with it! Come on who's with me now? Lets revolt, go back to our homes and lock her in a jail house.
Kaira: Well, done, Dona.
Kaira: Oh...that wasn't your poem...? Well, it rhymed, so lets just go with it! --sweat drop-- Heh heh...Raijin?
I'm not that great at rhyming, ya know.
It's pretty hard to do, ya know.
But I'll try my best to give it a go,
so here it goes, ya know.
Kaira is a meany girl
She's bossy and loud, ya know.
I should just crush her with my fist
Then we can all go home, ya know.
Kaira: ...ok 1) I guess I deserved the last two poems because I am the one that started the whole dissing thing...2) I'd like to see you try to crush me, ya big, stupid lummox! and 3)"ya know" cannot be rhymed with "ya know." IT'S THE SAME TWO WORDS!!
Seifer: If you're gonna criticize other people's poetry, don't ask them to recite it...
Squall: The King of big, stupid lummoxes is right, Kaira... --glare-- That's a first...
Seifer: --glares back--
Kaira: True...okay, sorry Raijin...anyway, last but not least, Ruby's turn!
Ruby: Gosh dog it, I'm an actress, not a poet. --thinks--
Feel me now as my touch grows cold
Captive here in this realm of old
Tears of sweetness decay to blood
Drowning me in a crimson flood
Call me now to the darkness realm
Hear her mocking beneath her helm
Geared for war in a world of death
Dark Calamity, Hell's Lillith
Marcus: Whoa...wha...Ruby? Where'd that come from? That was sooo...
Kaira: Good! Dang, Ruby!
Cinna: ...Marcus...I'm scared...
Marcus: Me too, Cinna...me too... --cowers away from Ruby--
Kaira: Well, you've heard everyone's poems and now it's time for the re-voting to break the tye! Remember, you can ONLY vote for either Tidus, Angelo, Dona, Raijin, or Ruby. And lets try not to have a tie again...we still gotta finish that game of Truth or Dare. Cheers!! And Happy Voting!