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Lycanthrope 3: Meet the Parents or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
-Chapter Twelve: Good Enough
Shinji scowled as the plane touched down. He had just spent a month of his life trying to track down someone who was right under his nose. Needless to say, he was extremely pissed. "Are you just going to shoot her?"
"Oh, no," Shinji replied. "I've got a whole lot of frustration to work out." Yuki frowned and backed away.
"He seems a lot more tense than usual," she commented as if he wasn't there.
"He's feeling under loved," Jen stated.
"Why on earth would he feel under loved?" Yuki demanded. "He's sleeping with a dozen women!"
"Sex and emotion are different," Rei stated. Shinji decided to leave before he got sucked into their brewing argument. He pushed open the door to the hold and climbed into the waiting GTO. He started the massive engine and glanced up as Asuka climbed into the car.
"I still don't like the bottle blond bimbo," she stated. "She almost killed my family."
"Good enough," Shinji replied. He reached out the window and smacked the ramp control. He glanced in the rearview mirror and watched the back of the plane open up.
"Maybe you should consider therapy," Asuka suggested
"Tried," Shinji replied. "He broke."
"Broke?" Asuka asked.
"Maxwell Androse," Shinji stated simply. Asuka stared at him.
"That shrink who went insane and became a serial killer?" she demanded.
"Yeah," Shinji replied. "I broke him." He put the car in reverse and peeled out of the plane's hold.
"You're a mess."
"You're one to talk," Shinji shot back.
"Doctor Michael just curled up in a ball and wouldn't stop sobbing," Asuka stated. "He didn't become a serial killer!"
"You still broke him," Shinji replied. "I just play rougher with my toys."
"Obviously," Asuka retorted. "After all, Doctor Akagi was your first one."
"I know you're here Ritsy!" Misato winced and pushed her door open. Shinji Fenrir wandered by with an extremely large shotgun in his hands.
"What the fuck are you doing?" she demanded.
"Be vewy, vewy quiet," Shinji whispered. "I'm hunting, Ritsys, huh, huh, huh." Misato watched as he continued down the hall without another word.
"This is what I get for letting Aoba grow pot in the green house," she grouses.
"What was that?" Misato spun and saw her other former flat mate.
"Nothing," she replied quickly. "Now are you going to do something or am I going to have to kill Ritsuko?"
"Why would you kill Ritsuko?" Asuka demanded.
"Do you know how much her therapy bills are after every one of Shinji's visits?" Misato demanded.
"I think Shinji's going to take care of that for you," Asuka replied.
"So he's finally going to kill her," Misato commented. "Is there any actual reason?"
"She tried to kill him," Asuka stated. "And she almost killed my family."
"You got to admit, it's really his fault," Misato pointed out.
"Yeah, he should have killed her before," Asuka agreed. "Don't worry, we'll fix that little mistake right now." The redhead turned and followed after her sire. Misato considered saying something and decided against it. She walked back into her office and locked the door.
"I need an alibi."
Shinji stared at the door that was hindering his progress and raised the grenade launcher. A single buckshot round destroyed the lock and more of the door for that matter. Shinji pumped the handle and nudged the door open with his toe. "Avon lady calling!"
"One second!" Shinji stormed in the lab and balked at what he saw. "I said one second!" Maya snapped from between Ritsuko's legs.
"Sorry," Shinji replied, turning around quickly.
"What are you doing?" Asuka asked.
"I just. . .interrupted. . ." Shinji trailed off as his brain caught up with him. "Hey, wait a minute!" He spun back around. "I'm here to kill her!"
"But why?" Maya demanded, turning her sad puppy eyes on Shinji as she helped Ritsuko sit down.
"Well. . .uh. . .you see," Shinji began.
"Oh for Christ's sake," Asuka growled. "She tried to kill us!"
"Not both of you, just him," Ritsuko stated in a mellow far away voice. Asuka frowned as she considered this.
"Your problem," she stated. Shinji scowled as she turned and walked out of the room.
"She almost got your parents killed!"
"It's your fault by extension," Asuka called back. "And I will have your balls for what you did earlier."
"I didn't tie you up!" Shinji protested, but Asuka was already out of the room. Shinji turned back on Ritsuko, he raised his shotgun.
"And now to take care of the Doctor!" He was about to pull the trigger when Maya jumped in front of the muzzle.
"Wait!" Shinji scowled and tried to pull the trigger, but the sad puppy eyes wouldn't let him. "I'm sure Ritsuko is very sorry, right Sempai?" The young tech turned the eyes on the blond.
"Well. . .uh. . .you see," Ritsuko began. She sighed in defeat. "I'm very sorry." Maya turned on Shinji and smiled brightly.
"See? She says she's very sorry."
"I guess," Shinji replied. He frowned and shook his head. "Wait a minute!"
"She apologized," Maya protested as the bright smile turned into a pout and Shinji's higher brain functions faltered. "Everything's okay, right?"
"But. . .but. . .but I don't have any proof she won't try again!" Shinji sputtered. Maya turned her pout on Ritsuko.
"You'll leave Shinji alone, right Sempai?"
"But. . .but," Ritsuko faltered and sighed in defeat. "I'll leave him alone, but only if he stops bothering me!" Maya turned on Shinji.
"You'll stop bothering her, right?" she asked. Shinji's eye ticked and finally his shoulders slumped.
"Okay," he replied, "but I'll kill her if she tries to kill me or any of my friends!" Maya turned on Ritsuko.
"You'll be a good kitty, right Sempai?"
"I'll be a good kitty," Ritsuko answered.
"Alrighty then." Shinji slung his grenade launcher. "Uh. . .I'll be going now." It was only when the ruined door shut behind him that Shinji realized that something had gone rather spectacularly wrong. "Wait a minute!"
"Is she dead?" Asuka asked. Shinji stared at the door, wondering exactly what had happened.
"She'll be a good kitty," he replied absently. He turned and started down the hallway wondering exactly what Maya was.
"Good kitty?" Asuka repeated. "What the hell? Shinji!"
(:Several Days Later:)
"And that's what happened," Shinji explained as he reclined in one of the lazy boys in Mister Sohryu's office and played with the collar of his pink Hawaiian shirt covered in little palm trees.
"I shouldn't have expected anything better," Gerald replied. Shinji didn't like the man's tone and scowled.
"So, I have trouble saying no to cute girls," he growled. "It hasn't gotten me killed yet."
"I suppose," Gerald replied. Shinji glanced around the office.
"So, why'd you invite us back?" he asked. "Last time we were here, you almost got killed."
"Wasn't even close," Gerald replied. "Anyway, my daughter is with you people and that makes you friends of the family."
"Besides, Carol and I needed to speak with Asuka about something that concerns you," Gerald added.
"Like what?" Shinji asked.
"Well, it involves your mother," Gerald stated. "We'd best wait for the women to arrive." The door opened and Mana peaked in.
"There you are."
"Here I am," Shinji replied. "How pissed is Craven?"
"Pretty pissed," Mana replied as she walked into the room. "That Tomahawk is one of a kind and you and that little speed freak left some rather deep set stains in the seat." Shinji just grinned bashfully as Gerald's questioning look. "Hey you're wearing leather pants!" Shinji glanced down at his brown leather pants.
"Yeah. Yuki says they make my ass look good."
"Nothing," Mana replied innocently. Asuka and her step mother walked in after a few moments of award silence.
"Could you leave?" Gerald asked politely. "We have something to discuss with Asuka and Shinji."
"She's fine," Shinji replied as he patted the arm rest of his chair. Mana just shrugged and sat down.
"I'm not so sure. . ." Shinji made a dismissing wave and tugged out a cigar. Mana produced a lighter and lit it for him.
"So," Asuka began, "what's this all about?"
"Well," Gerald began, glancing at Carol.
"You lost the bet," the blond stated. "You have to tell her."
"Tell me what?" Asuka asked.
"You see," Gerald began, "your step mother and I, we knew each other and your mother very well before I married your mother."
"I know," Asuka replied. "You told me this story."
"No, we really knew each other," Gerald stated. Asuka scratched her head, a clueless expression on her face. She turned to Shinji for answers. That was never a good thing to do.
"Kinky!" Shinji announced. "So, how'd you end up married to one of them?" Asuka spun and stared at her father.
"You mean. . ."
"Yeah," Gerald replied. "We were in college and we got drunk one night and kind of ended up having such a good time it kept on going."
"How'd you end up married to one of them?" Shinji repeated.
"Well, Carol moved away for a while and I continued to date Asuka's mother," Gerald stated. "We got married and settled down and than Carol got transferred back to Germany."
"Heh." Shinji turned on Asuka. "And you always accused me of being a pervert when you're parents were doing the ménage a trios thing." Asuka stared at Gerald.
"About that whole pervert thing," Gerald began. "We wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand this. You kind of walked in on the three of us."
"I what?" Asuka demanded.
"You seem to have blocked the memories, but since that night you've always had such a great aversion to anything sexual," Gerald explained.
"So she's such a bitch because she walked in on you between two females?" Shinji asked, a bright grin beginning to curl his lips.
"My parents are perverts?" Asuka asked in a faraway voice. Shinji grinned and Mana tugged his beard.
"You're supposed to be involved in this somehow, remember?" Shinji frowned and turned on Gerald.
"Well," Gerald began, "Kyoko was kind of loose and bisexual and your mother was an attractive woman and they were roomies in college. It's kind of a no brainer."
"Wait, am I your son?" Shinji demanded.
"No," Gerald replied.
"That's all your worried about?" Mana demanded. "Your mom was a bisexual involved in orgies!"
"Well I'm involved in trans-species orgies," Shinji commented. "I really can't comment on other people's sexual habits."
"My parents are perverts," Asuka stated.
"I think you broke her," Shinji commented. A moment later Asuka pounced on him.
"Where!" Shinji protested as he was dragged out of his chair by the ankle. He sank his claws into the floor and managed to arrest for movement. "Where are we going?"
"We're going to my room where I'm going to ride you until my bed brakes," Asuka stated. She gave a hard tug to dislodge Shinji's claws and began dragging him again.
"Wait!" Mana shrieked, bringing all movement to a stop for a moment. Asuka glanced back at her. "Can I come?" Asuka's eye ticked. She stomped across the room and kissed the young vampire for at least a full minute before pulling away.
"Yes, you come."
Yuki pushed the door to Gerald's office open and looked around. "We heard Mana scream," she stated as she moved out of the way for Jen and Pandora to walk in as well.
"You're going to here her scream a lot more," Gerald stated. His left eye was ticking. Yuki considered what he could possibly mean and frowned as she noticed a rhythmic squeaking sound. She glanced up.
"What's above this room?"
"Asuka's bedroom," Gerald replied.
"Mein Gott!" There were quite a few minutes of silence after this particular exclamation.
"Oh, oh, oh my God!" There wasn't nearly as long a pause.
"Was that Mana?" Jen demanded.
"I do believe that was Mana," Pandora replied.
"So Asuka goes from being the anti-pervert to engaging in one of the oldest, most powerful taboos on Earth," Jen commented. "Even we haven't broke the whole vampire and lycan fucking taboo. . .yet. We much be a bad influence."
"Yeah," Yuki agreed proudly. She glanced around and frowned. "Where's Pandora?" Somewhere up stairs a door burst open and someone leapt onto something soft.
"My cell phone is ringing," Jen stated. She turned and sprinted out of the room. Yuki just grinned bashfully at Asuka's parents and edged out the door slowly.
"It's a pretty day," Mana commented as she reclined on her towel under her umbrella.
"Mm hm," Shinji agreed. Asuka snorted and spooned up against his side. He swatted absently at her hand as her sleeping self tried to get things rolling.
"I knew she was repressed, but this is getting ridiculous," Yuki stated. "She's done everything in two weeks that I did in ten years."
"And than a few things I never even thought of," Jen added.
"She comes from a family of perverts," Pandora stated.
"Are we talking about my only begotten daughter now?" Shinji craned his head around and found himself staring up the devil's skirt.
"You're wearing those to mess with my head," he growled. Lu grinned down at him.
"I happened to think the little angels are cute," she replied. "I have a little favor to ask you."
"But. . ."
"No," Shinji replied. "I don't care if the world is about to end."
"I was kind of hoping you'd help me bring that about," Lu replied. Shinji hesitated and thought about that. Yuki reached across Jen and flicked his nose.
"But it's the apocalypse," Shinji whined.
"No," Yuki stated again. Shinji pouted and swatted Asuka's hands away from his crotch again. His blue-haired mate swung around on the devil.
"And you, either stop tempting him and strip down or go away."
"Okay." Lu pulled off her sundress to reveal that she was wearing a white bikini covered in little rosy-cheeked cherubs. "Oh look, there isn't an extra towel." She plopped down on Shinji instead. "Hey!" Shinji batted at the hand that had tried to force its way down Lu's bikini bottom. "Horny little thing, isn't she?"
"She's your daughter," Shinji shot back.
"Speaking of which, you think she'll mind if I join you guys tonight?" Lu asked. "I am her mom, even if it's not through blood."
"With the way she's going, you'll be lucky if she doesn't pin you down right here and make you scream," Mana replied. "I think she's looking for new taboos to break. I heard her chatting with Angela and you really don't want to know what it was about."
"That sounds fun." Shinji glanced to his side and watched as Rei sat down beside her clone.
"You would think incest sounds fun," Lu stated.
"We prefer to think of it as advanced masturbation," Rei explained as she spooned up against Yuki.
"Everybody here?" Shinji asked.
"Pretty much," a new voice replied. Shinji glanced back and saw Misato and Agatha walking towards them in bikinis with towels over their shoulders. Misato stared at Asuka. "I never would have believed it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes."
"You would have if you could read her mind," Agatha stated. "The girl makes Caligula look like the Amish."
"This is going to be a fun vacation," Lu commented as she swatted her daughter's roving hands.
"Yep," Shinji replied. He felt much happier now that he was back on the beach.
"You still need to call Jinx and apologize for missing his wedding," Yuki stated.
"Asuka should call," Shinji protested. "She's the one who tied me to the bed!"
"Pervert," Asuka mumbled as she began chewing on his earlobe and groping her indirect mother's ass.
"Anybody have anything smart to say?" Jen wondered.
"Asuka's a hypocrite?" Mana ventured.
"Good enough," Shinji stated.
-Author's notes. Yep. That's it. The Doctor was in no part the reason for this story. Asuka was the entire reason for this story. I couldn't fully end the Lycanthrope series without getting Asuka included in there and that was the whole point of this story.
So, here we are at the end of another story and I've got some shit to spout. I was just going through the ole' favorites list and clicked on one of my favorite authors. To my shock he said that he was done writing. That got me thinking, I've been writing for a while. I'm actually one of the senior writers for Eva fanfics on Creepy, yes? And one more thing, I seem to be one of the few writers from my time to still be writing consistently. Note: one chapter every couple of months is not writing. You do that, you'd better be typing god damned Nobel Prize winning shit. I'm not pointing fingers, but some of you authors need to get writing pretty fucking ricky tick or your fans will forget you. That's why I'm popular, I don't let anyone forget my cynical ass.
One more thing. This really is the final Lycanthrope, at least in this continuity, so say goodbye to Shinji Fenrir and his harem. I have a little side project called Lycanthrope Champloo. It's basically the whole series rewritten with Shinji as a werewolf, just like you all were asking my for. Heh. Don't wait up for it. Also the new rewrite or SC Eva is coming. This is the last one. I mean it this time!