Disclaimer: I own nothing except Hermione's muggle friends.

Summary: Hermione begins to feel unwanted and unexplained feelings toward Malfoy. With the help of Ginny, Hermione realizes she is sick of the overly-sweet type of man whom she usually attracts and begins to want a more independent, strong-headed man who won't treat her like glass. This is when the unwanted lusting for Malfoy begins; Hermione doesn't want it, but she can't help it. She learns what it means to want something you should not have. How will Malfoy react to this new information? He'll use it to his advantage of course.

Time Era: Hogwarts, Seventh Year

Main Players: Hermione Granger (whom may have the potential to be a bit OOC at points), Draco Malfoy, Ginerva Weasley, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley

Warnings: Language, Adult Situations, Explicit Content, etcetera

(I will have a plot so you'll have to wait for sex scenes and what-not)

Criticism is welcomed; however, flames are not, but feel free to state your opinion anyway.

Undesirable Feelings

Chapter One

Hermione sighed in boredom as she sat with her friends, one of which was her boyfriend whom was now intertwining his fingers carefully with hers.

She looked around the muggle café that they sat in hoping to find something of interest… nothing did.

She felt bad, but secretly she could not wait for school to start up so she could separate herself from "Ryan" and the others.

'Hermione?' she heard a name call loudly.

'Mmm yes?' Hermione answered.

'I've been trying to ask you what you wanted to do now for, like, five minutes.' Her friend, Kelsey, proclaimed.

'Oh, sorry, my head must have been in the clouds.'

'You've been daydreaming a lot lately, sweetheart.' Ryan said agonizingly sweetly as he squeezed her shoulders gently. 'Anything wrong?' He asked just before kissing her cheek.

Hermione looked at him in contempt, but then forced a smile on her face.

'No, nothing is wrong. Just thinking about school starting up.'

'Oh, yes, when does St. Bart's start again?' Her friend, Linda, asked.

Hermione had told them all that she went to a boarding school in Vienna called Saint Bartholomew's.

'It starts up in two weeks.' She replied, a genuine smile creeping to her pretty face. 'That's when I take the train over.'

'I'm going to miss you so much, Mina!' Ryan exclaimed, kissing her cheek again.

Hermione forced yet another grin, but didn't reply.

'So what did you want to do now?' Kelsey asked again.

Ditch you all and go to the Burrow. She thought bitterly.

'I think I am just going to go back home,' Hermione said softly. 'I'm a bit tired.'

'Do you want me to drive you, darling?' Ryan asked amiably.

'No, that's not necessary, dear, I can walk.' She replied, standing up from the small circle of "friends".

'You want me to walk you?' He asked hopefully.

'No, Ryan, I need to clear my head, but thank you.'

He then nodded and rose to kiss her softly.

'Bye.' She stated, grabbing her purse.

'I'll call you later, sweetie.'

'Bye, Hermione!' the girls called.

Hermione waved goodbye and sprinted out of there as gracefully and inconspicuously as she could.


Hermione collapsed to her bed, soaking up the silence.

Thoughts ran through her head.

Ryan is killing me! What did I see in him before?

She remembered back to when they first met. Kelsey had introduced them; she went to school with Ryan. She first liked him, she decided, because he gave her a lot of attention.

Boy did that come back to bite me in the arse.

I have to end things…it's my last year. I'll say we should break up because it's my last year and I'll probably move away to find a good job…it's not completely false, I might. She concluded that she would break it to Ryan tomorrow.

He's probably going to cry knowing him. She thought regretfully.

She turned her muggle cell phone on silent and decided to sleep away her boyfriend problems.


Hermione woke up the next morning at 10 AM feeling very rested and relaxed. She turned to her side and grabbed her cell phone from the bedside table and gasped when she read her screen.


She rolled her eyes and opened her cell phone cover to see that all the calls were from Ryan.

She scrolled through the call list and looked at the times.








She turned the silent off on her phone and then placed it back on the table before heading off to the bathroom.

Just as she touched her bedroom doorknob she heard a jingle coming from the phone.

'Oh Merlin…'

She turned around reluctantly and answered her phone groggily and uninterested.


'Mina! Thank God! I thought you had died.'

'Oh don't be so dramatic, Ryan, I'm fine.' She sighed.

'You sound sick, are you well?' he inquired.

'I just woke up.'

'Well, I'm glad you finally answered.' He stated happily, 'Are you up for breakfast out today?'

'Ryan…I am going to go brush my teeth and shower,' she told him firmly, 'and afterwards I'll call you back, okay?'

'Sure, honey! Whatever you want, I'll talk to you soon.'

'Yup.' Was all she replied before ending the call.

She let out a frustrated groan as she threw her phone onto her bed and ran to the bathroom.

20 minutes later, after brushing and washing, she prepared herself for a heart-breaking phone call.

Ryan answered his phone after one ring.

'Hey sweetheart,' he welcomed happily.

Hermione frowned and her heart dropped. She could sense how happy he was when he spoke, she felt bad for what she was about to do.

'Ryan, we need to talk about us.'

'What about us?' He asked jovially.

'Ryan, you know this is my last year of school.'

'Yes it is! Congratulations!'

'Thank you, but I don't think we can stay together anymore.'

She swallowed nervously waiting for his response.

'Why?' He asked softly.

'After I graduate I will probably be moving away to find a job and you know a long distance relationship won't work.'

'Why are you moving away?'

'Ryan, with the education I am getting, all the really good jobs that I'd be qualified for are in the larger cities. They aren't here in our small,possibly pathetic,city.'

'Well then why can't we try a long distance relationship?'

Hermione sighed sadly, this was harder than she had predicted.

'It just wouldn't work, I am really sorry.'

He didn't say anything for a minute or two so she spoke again.

'Do you want me to come over for a bit, Ryan?

'No, that's okay,' he said solemnly, 'I think that would just make it harder for me.'

'Yeah, probably…I am sorry, Ryan.' She said sincerely, 'I really am.'

'I know, Hermione.'

For the first time, Hermione was saddened by not hearing "Mina" come from his mouth.

'Are you going to be alright?' She questioned hesitantly.

'Umm yeah, I'll get over you eventually I guess.' He said, mainly trying to assure himself. 'I really cared for you.'

Hermione swallowed nervously.

'I cared for you too, Ryan, but this is how it has to be.'

'Okay, well have a good school year and good luck.'

'Thank you, Ryan.'

'Bye, Hermione.'


Hermione laid on her bed for a few minutes contemplating what she just did. She broke up with Ryan, her boyfriend of six months. Bugger.

'How come I was with him for so long if he made me so unhappy?' She asked herself.

She honestly wondered if she was mental. Ryan was a good guy. He was very good looking and he treated her with deep respect and gave her lots of attention; tons of women would kill for that kind of relationship.

'But not me,' She decided.

She thought that was what she wanted in a man. She thought she wanted to be doted upon constantly and simply, loved. That is why she first fell for Ryan. Right from the beginning he was the perfect, chivalrous, compliment-spewing gentleman.

Hermione sat with her friend Kelsey in a small bookstore waiting for her blind date to show up.

She wore a light green knit top with a loose knee-length khaki skirt. Her long hair was down and her eyes were searching the store nervously.

'It's going to be fine!' Her friend reassured her, 'Ryan is great; you're going to absolutely love him!'

'I hope this doesn't turn out to be a disaster.' Hermione replied shakily.

Hermione had never been "set up" before.

Kelsey had decided that Hermione needed to socialize more and get a new boyfriend. She had recently ended a relationship with a guy named Dominique. He was Australian and, according to Kelsey, "an absolute dream boat", but he didn't interest Hermione enough. She ended things after a month. A year before that, she broke up with Viktor Krum. Oh yes Viktor was amazingly gorgeous and talented, but Hermione hated how they couldn't keep a good conversation going. All he wanted to do was stare at her and tell her how beautiful she was…at first she loved it, then it got annoying. So therefore she ended their nearly two-year relationship.

As Hermione reminisced about her former boyfriends, a dark haired, ocean-blue eyed boy captured her attention.

'Look at him, he looks like a god,' Hermione whispered to Kelsey.

'OH! You found him!' She cried happily. 'Ryan! Over here!'

Ryan smiled as he realized that the girl he had been looking at was his blind date.

'You must be Hermione.' He noted correctly.

'And you are Ryan.'

'Indeed,' he said as he lifted her hand and kissed it briefly, 'at your service. And my I just say, you have the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen.'

Hermione shook the memory away.

'I should have seen it coming…he was just like Dominique and Viktor, too clingy and admiring.'

What's wrong with me? She asked herself.

'I always fall for the same type of guy, but end up being unhappy. I give up on dating.'

Hogwarts could not come sooner for Hermione.


Hermione decided to go to the Burrow for the remainder of the summer to take her mind off of Ryan.

'Hermione! I'm so glad you're here!' Ginny exclaimed as she opened the front door and threw her arms around her best girl friend.

'I'm happy I'm here too, Gin.' Hermione replied, hugging the little Weasley back, 'Where are the boys?'

'They are playing Quidditch in the back.' Ginny told her, 'I was playing but then mum told me you were on your way!'

Harry and Ron then walked into the room through the back door.

'Mione!' Ron and Harry both exclaimed in surprise.

'Didn't know you were coming!' Ron exclaimed.

He then hugged her, followed by Harry.

'Yeah, when did you get here?' Harry asked.

'Oh I just arrived.' Hermione retorted with a genuine smile.

'Oh, hey, did you want to come play some Quidditch with us?' Ron asked.

Hermione looked at him as if he grew a tail.

'From all the many years you've known me, why would you think to ask if I wanted to play that game?'

'It doesn't hurt to ask,' He replied in a song-song voice. 'C'mon, 'Arry, let's go practice serpentine turns now.'

'Sure, mate…we'll be in soon, Hermione.'

'Have fun!' Hermione called as she watched them run back outside.

'C'mon let's go get you set in my room!' Ginny said.


'You broke up with Ryan? Who's Ryan?' Ginny asked incredulously.

'He's a guy I was dating since this past year, remember?'

'Oh, yeah! I remember you saying something about him…how long were you two together then?'

'Six months, up until yesterday.'

'Oh wow, I'm sorry, Hermione.'

'It's definitely for the better…he was smothering me!'

'How so? Viktor-Dominique type?'

'Yes, but more so! He treated me like a lost puppythat could not live independently.'

'Eek! How did you make six months even?'

'No idea…but I'm much happier now.' Hermione sighed.

Ginny hugged her and declared, 'Let's just forget about boys for now, shall we?'

Molly then entered Ginny's room.

'Oh, good evening Hermione-dear. How are you?'

'I'm doing great, thank you, Mrs. Weasley.'

'Oh wonderful! Are you hungry?'

'Yes I am.'

'Good cause dinner is ready and on the table; Mr. Weasley will be home any time.'

'We'll be right down, mum.' Ginny told her.

Molly nodded and went back downstairs.

'Shall we proceed to supper?' Ginny said, donning an affluent act.

'We shall.' Hermione responded, taking Ginny's arm in hers.

During dinner the group of friends talked about plans for Hogwarts and plans they thought Hogwarts had in store for them.


A week later, Harry and Ron darted into Ginny's room and found who they were looking for, Hermione. She was sitting in a rocking chair reading, of course.

'Hey! What are you doing up here?' Ron asked inquisitively.

'Reading, Ronald, what does it look like?' She asked, not taking her eyes from her novel.

'You want to come play wizards' chess with us?' Harry asked, 'Since Ginny isn't home to keep you company today?'

'I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself thank you.' She replied hotly.

Harry and Ron laughed and left the room.

'She gets into her books doesn't she?' Ron asked.

'Nothing's changed.' Harry replied with a smirk.


The following day Ginny and Hermione were playing a wizards' version of Trivial Pursuit at the kitchen table when Harry and Ron came home from Fred and Georges' shop.

They said hi to the girls and then went to Ron's room.

'I'm going to the loo, Hermione, be right back.' Ginny said a few minutes later.

Hermione nodded as she leaned back in her chair.

Just then Harry and Ron stumbled down the stairs with giant smiles on their faces.

'Hey, Hermione! Where's Gin? We've been messing around with some of Fred and Georges' newest merchandise, testing them out.' Ron said with a triumphant smile.

'Oh sounds interesting.' Hermione stated.

'Yes! Come up with us since you're all by yourself,' Harry said, not noticing Ginny emerging into the kitchen behind them.

'I'm busy, but thanks.'

'You're not doing anything!' Ron said.

'We just wanted to make sure you weren't bored or anything.' Harry added.

Hermione then sighed and retorted, 'Its okay, guys. I can take care of myself thanks. If I get bored I'll come find you, you don't have to baby me.'

Hermione then got up from the table and went outside into the garden.

'What did we say?' Ron asked Harry.

'Don't worry about her.' Ginny said from behind, startling both boys. 'She really is prejudice to attention right now from men.'

They looked at her in confusion.

'What? Why?'

'She just broke up with her boyfriend, Ryan, because he treated her like a porcelain doll so she is sensitive to being treating anything remotely close to that right now.' Ginny explained with a smile.

'Oooookay.' Ron drawled.


Molly made a fabulous roast dinner that evening, but unfortunately she also had to discipline that night…

'Ron or Harry, will you pass me the gravy?' Hermione asked during dinner.

'You can get it yourself, Hermione.' Ron replied.

Harry also did not make a move to hand her the gravy.

'BOYS!' Molly cried, 'You hand the gravy to Hermione this instant.'

'But mum, she said—'

'Well, Ginny said—'

'Shush, the both of you!'

'Hermione,' Ginny whispered, 'I told them you wanted to be very non-babied right now because of Ryan.'

'Ohhhh,' Hermione nodded, understanding Ron and Harry's actions. 'Mrs. Weasley, it's okay really.'

'What dear?' Molly asked.

'Its fine, I told Harry and Ron I wanted to be more independent. They are just following my wishes.'

Mrs. Weasley looked at Harry and Ron suspiciously but did not say anything more; she did frequently send disappointing glares at Harry and Ron throughout dinner, however.


Another week passed and the Hogwarts Express had arrived.

Hermione was with Professor McGonagall talking to her about her prefect and head girl duties.

'You'll have double duties, Miss Granger, but I'm sure you'll handle it.' McGonagall told her. 'Ernie Macmillan is head boy.'

'All right, thank you.' Hermione said as she took her shiny new badge.

Hermione was walking back to Harry, Ginny, and Ron's compartment when she saw Malfoy for the first time that year.

Her eyes caught his blonde hair first. It hung loosely around his face, accenting his pristine jaw line. She also noticed he was not as pale or as thin as he used to be. He received some color over the summer, not enough to be tan, but enough not to be pallid anymore. He also built himself up a bit, but nothing too drastic.

'So Dumbledore's given you permission to boss everyone around then has he?' He spat at her.

Draco's voice shook Hermione out of her trance of staring at him. He noticed her twitch back to the real world.

'Like something you see, Granger?'

'Why would you think something as ghastly as that, Malfoy?'

'Well, it's just that your eyes were entranced with my devilish good looks and now it seems you've soaked through your knickers.'

Hermione blushed red with fury and embarrassment. Malfoy's cronies laughed with him at Hermione.

Draco then leaned in close to her and whispered in her ear.

'Did I make the mudblood wet herself?'

'You're a foul creature, Malfoy, and if you ever speak like that to me again I'll take away your precious house points and make you do manual work.'

'Empty threats, mudblood. Ta-ta.'

Hermione watched Malfoy leave with his posse close on his heels.

Hermione felt sick. She felt like she needed to throw up.

She rushed to the lavatory and locked the door. She leaned up against it and breathed deeply.

'What's wrong with me?'

Something happened to her when Malfoy spoke. She felt something she never felt with Viktor, Dominique, or Ryan.

'Is it such strong hate that it makes me think it's something else?'

She was beyond confused. She felt something in the pit of her stomach that could almost be conceived as a feeling of arousal, but it was Malfoy so it had to be something else.

'I've got to find Ginny.'

She ran to the berth and opened it quickly.

'Ginny! I need to speak with you privately.'

'Hey!' Ron whined, 'What's so secretive that can't be said in front of me and Harry?'

'Girl stuff…if you know what I mean.' Hermione lied quickly.

'Oh Merlin, let's go Harry.' Ron cried.

'Exactly what I was thinking, we've got to talk to Lee about new Quidditch announcements anyway.' Harry told Ron. 'Be back later, girls.'

'Okay, thanks guys.' Hermione said.

'Noooo problem.' Ron stated as he and Harry quickly left.

After the compartment door shut, Ginny accurately asked, 'So what's this really about?'

'I don't know actually. I just felt something and I am not sure what it was because of the person I felt it for.' Hermione explained mysteriously.

'Well, how about you first tell me what and who it was and then I'll help you.' She said with a smile.

Ginny then pat the seat across from her, instructing Hermione to take a seat.

Hermione collapsed into the comfortable bench and leaned back carelessly.

'Well, go on…' Ginny insisted.

'Okay, I was talking with McGonagall about my duties and afterwards, as I was coming here, I saw Malfoy—'

'Ohh, I'm sorry, what happened?'

'Have you seen him yet?'

'No, thank Merlin, why?' Ginny asked.

'Well… he looks a bit different…'

'How so? Has he got a new smirk?'

'No…I think he's possibly improved.'

'Well, he always was good-looking I suppose…what does this have to do with anything?' Ginny questioned impatiently.

'Well, he stopped me and taunted me because he caught me looking at him…and he asked me if I wet myself because of him and talked of things like my knickers.'

Ginny's mouth formed a large "O" and then she began giggling.

'Malfoy talked about your knickers?'

'Yes, it was a bit embarrassing really.'

'I should say so. Why was Malfoy thinking about your knickers?'

'Well, I don't know, but he leaned in and whispered the thing about my knickers in my ear…'


'I don't know, I felt something weird.'


'Maybe. It felt like…that tingly feeling that makes you feel sick when you watch or read something you aren't supposed to.'

'You were turned on by Malfoy?' Ginny exclaimed.

'No! I don't know! That doesn't make any sense! I don't feel anything for him; I don't like him at all.'

'Was it a Viktor-running-on-the-beach feeling?' Ginny asked with a grin.

'More so than anything else I've felt.'

'Perhaps it was lust.' Ginny stated with a smile.

'What? Ginny! No! It's Malfoy!'

'You can't choose who you lust after, lust is different than like or love.'

'But why would I lust over Malfoy? He's been nothing but beastly to me as long as I remember.'

Ginny shrugged and leaned back in the seat.

'Who knows…'

Suddenly Ginny's face lit up.

'That's it! That's why you feel something for Malfoy!'

'What? Because he's an evil git?'

'Yes! Well, kind of, why did you break up with your past boyfriends?'

'Too clingy and nauseatingly sweet.'

'Exactly. Malfoy treats you inferiorly and with contempt, furthest thing from sweet and clingy. You've been treated like a doll so long, that you're turned on by Malfoy!'

'What do I do about him, Ginny?'

'Haha I don't know!'

'This isn't a laughing matter!' Hermione cried, suppressing giggles of her own.

'Could you imagine you and Malfoy together?'

'No! And I don't want to be with him!'

'You just want to shag him.' Ginny said nonchalantly.

'Ah! Gin! No!'

Ginny smirked and continued to laugh.

'You should pursue him and see what happens.'

'Are you mental, Ginerva?'

'Sometimes but right now I am perfectly sane.'

Hermione laughed softly and covered her face with her hands in shame.

'It's all Ryan's fault!' Hermione declared, 'If he hadn't treated me so unnervingly sweet, I never would have been attracted to that git Malfoy.'

'Probably true,' Ginny began, 'but that doesn't solve our problems at hand, which are your bizarre feelings for Malfoy.'

'Well, let's just see how our first week goes. Maybe it's a fluke.'

'Or maybe you have lustful feelings for him because he's the first boy you've come across in a long time that hasn't babied you.'

'Let's hope that's the extent of it.'

A half-hour or so later, Harry and Ron came back and they began a discussion about their last year, completely ignoring the fact that the girls had talked alone. Ron and Harry both agreed not to ask about it.


'We've got to make this year, our last, the best.' Hermione announced before they stepped out of their berth.

Everyone was making their way off of the train, ready to go to Hogwarts.

As Hermione was about to step off the express, someone grabbed her arm. She turned to see a strange expression on Ginny's face.

'What's up, Gin?'

'I just saw Malfoy…I can see why you felt that way- he's gorgeous!'

A/N: Remember, this is the only chapter I am going to post of this story UNTIL Don't Say Goodbye is finished. Treat this as a "trailer" like for the movies. You get a small glimpse of what is to come.

Thanks so much to my volunteer first chapter readers: Kate, Tiffany, Magy, and Lauren