It's only M for suggestiveness! No hardcore sexy good times. Sorry. But it should still be fun, right?
I was totally not going to do comedy fluff. But then I thought of something. So now I'm staying up too late before my day of work which will lead directly into vacation time. . .with no breaks for anything.
I am teh fluff princess. And now I feel guilty enough to want to write some GaaSaku fluff. Guilty guilty.
Oh lordy, Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! Did you guess? I bet you all feel smart now.
"I didn't think he'd be this bad." Sakura tried not to stick a finger in her ear to block out the sound of Naruto slaughtering a version of one of his favorite movie themes on the karaoke machine.
"I did." Ino said, taking a deep drink of her cocktail. "Keep 'em coming. And don't forget the umbrella this time!" It was an open bar and both ladies were taking advantage of it. Ino more than Sakura. Sakura was mostly trying to distance herself from the stage where Naruto was slurring his way through a song to his wife Hinata. Newly wed wife, at that, as everyone in this auditorium had witnessed earlier that day.
"You want to get some food before you reenter Margaritaville?" Sakura asked as Ino watched her drink be made with less than sober eagerness.
Ino sneered a bit at that. "Only Naruto would insist his wedding be catered by Ichiraku. This dress is 100 silk, thanks to the huge Hyuuga bank accounts, and I'd sooner die than get a spot of grease on it."
She was right. Hinata had been so nice as to ask them to be bridesmaids and it would be a shame to ruin those white dresses. Although, while Ino filled out hers well and looked stunning with her long blond hair and blue eyes contrasting against her white dress, Sakura just looked like a little kid in her own opinion. She might as well have been the flower girl. It would have been name appropriate after all. Oh well. At least she got to see Sasuke, the best man, up close for a long period of time. (Very long. The ceremony had not been brief.)
Sasuke. In a suit.
Sakura stifled the urge to swear, or punch something, or drink, or any other activity that would make her resemble Tsunade even more in temperament even if they were totally different in appearance. She could use a little mentorship in the chest area, but it was really far more useful in her profession to be. . . lean. Yes, that was the kind word. Ino just came out and called her skinny.
"Order me one too. Something with a lot of lime. And sugar around the rim, not salt."
Ino winked, glad Sakura had decided to join her in the 'bridesmaid but never the bride' pity party. They were laughing together at Naruto who had started on another song despite various sharp objects being thrown at him. He was dodging and singing at the same time. The (perpetually) blushing bride wasn't objecting, and honestly Naruto could take a lot of punishment before going down, so things were looking up when everyone's favorite teetotaler came to visit the two ladies.
"Sakura! I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked that you would treat your body in such a way!" No mention of Ino. Apparently only Sakura was supposed to be a paragon of virtue.
"Lee, the dress goes down to my knees and I wear shorter skirts to work."
"Indeed I do not mean your most fetching dress, but the villainous drink you're poisoning your body with."
Sakura didn't want to hear a lecture about health today. She didn't want to hear a lecture about anything. So she tried to deflect the blame. "Then go talk to Naruto, he seems a lot further along than any of us. It would take at least ten of these to get him on that karaoke machine, if not more. Sure he likes attention, but he never had illusions about his singing ability before." It was like an alley cat in heat, with laryngitis.
Those distinctive caterpillar eyebrows met his bowl cut as Lee practically lit up with a sudden realization. "So that's what they meant when they said 'liquid courage'."
"What?" Ino was a bit of a surly drunk. "Don't be any more weird than you need to be. Who said what now?"
"Why, Neji commented that Naruto was such a bundle of nerves after the ceremony that he and Sasuke had to share a bottle of 'liquid courage'. Naturally I assumed some sort of energy booster. They should consult me next time they need a pick me up, why I know many ways to reenergize flagging muscles when—" He saw his goddess in white leave her drink behind with an intent look on her face. "Where are you going, Sakura?"
"The bathroom," she answered in a dark tone.
"I thought I would find you here."
"Sakura, why are you in the men's room?"
". . . I see."
Sakura sighed and helped Sasuke to his feet. "Naruto at least had some tolerance, he did live with Jiraiya for all those years, but when I saw how goofy he was from the alcohol I wondered how you'd be doing." Not that she thought after everything Sasuke would die of alcohol poisoning, he was too conscious of his pride as an Uchiha to die in such a silly way. But there were more than a few people who might want to pick a fight with him while he was so incapacitated. He didn't have Lee's drunken fist ability. She didn't want to be treating wounds when she should be celebrating Naruto and Hinata's happiness.
"Always the good medic-nin. I promise you I won't die." He looked at her crossly. "And I can stand by myself."
"Of course. How silly of me to think you couldn't. Would you like to go back to staring at toilet water, or would you rather move on to the sink?"
"That sounds like sarcasm. Are you being sarcastic with me, Sakura? Because I have you know, I'm an Uchiha. The Uchihas practically invented sarcasm."
She tried not to roll her eyes. Oddly enough, he didn't look like he had gotten sick, merely disoriented. Maybe he had gone to the bathroom and just gotten distracted by the swirling water or something. She was trying very hard not to laugh at him, but trying even harder not to oogle him. He had shed his bowtie somewhere and his open shirt was hinting at his chest, as well as that rumpled hair and smoldering eyes. . . well more unfocused than smoldering at the moment, but she liked her little fantasies.
He leaned his back against the sinks and Sakura observed him to see if he would get jelly legs again. How much booze did he and Naruto drink to get like this? It must have been an epic drinking session. Actually, now that she thought on it, she could guess how it went. It had probably become a competition between them. Who would drink the most? It had probably only stopped when they realized they were going to be late for the start of the reception, (or Neji had dragged them away).
The toast. . .speaking of that brief meal. . . why didn't anyone tell her she had a spot of something on her dress? This is why she hated mirrors, all she ever found were flaws. Bother upon bother today.
"You know, you looked amazing. . . look amazing. . . today Sakura."
That was a first, an unsolicited and unexpected compliment from everyone's favorite moody former prodigy. She should give him alcohol more often.
"Thank you Sasuke. You looked good too. I mean look good. Um. . ." She wanted to smack herself. It sounded so seductive coming from him, leaning there on one hand, checking her out with his head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed. Her response just seemed childish, like she was a slavering fangirl again. Those days were long behind her, but with a couple of drinks under her belt some thoughts were slipping through her defenses that she would have preferred to keep under wraps.
"You know, when I woke up this morning and looked at those rings I thought Naruto was the biggest fool in the world, but he really seems happy." Only alcohol could make Sasuke this candid, or this talkative. "Maybe I've been wrong about the whole marriage thing."
"Oh?" She felt her heart speeding up but didn't allow her hopes to climb any higher than her blood pressure. "You don't need to get married to rebuild your clan, if that's all you were worried about."
"You think so?"
Naturally, that stupid life's mission of his was all he was worried about. Bastard. "Sure."
"Ok then." He shrugged out of his jacket and began to unbutton his shirt.
"Sasuke! What are you doing!" Sakura couldn't help but be a little scandalized. Sasuke just didn't do public indecency.
"Smart girl, you're totally right," For a moment both relief and disappointment flashed through her mind until she realized he was working at his belt now.
She went to go stop him and found her hands really wanted to help him instead, but she had to be firm. He was drunk and he was confused and this was not the time or the place for this kind of thing.
"Sasuke, listen to me. You're drunk and we're not doing anything here. In fact, I think I should escort you home before you try to repopulate your clan with some random woman on the karaoke stage." It was too dangerous there anyway, what with all the kunai and shuriken throwing at Naruto.
He seemed to accept this and stopped pulling his belt out of his pants. Sasuke put an arm around her and she felt how hot his upper body was in just that unbuttoned shirt and thin undershirt. He was a healthy boy, he'd burn that alcohol out of his system soon enough. Sakura would take him home and give him some water and not take advantage of him. That last part was very important both to her pride and their friendship.
"You have it all wrong," Sasuke said to her later on. Sakura had found Chouji so he could relay the message of her hasty exit to Ino and then had returned back to his side. "I would have to marry the woman who bears my children because otherwise they wouldn't be Uchihas." He had obviously given this a lot of thought, since at this point it was a non sequiter in the conversation.
"Ah. Good for you. Found that flaw in my logic. Ha ha. . . yeah. . ." She tried not to become very vocal about her opinions of his life's mission very loudly in his direction. Couldn't he just forget about it? Lead a normal life? If she blamed the alcohol she felt less like beating him into the ground for being such a idiot. "Look, let's talk about something else."
Sasuke made that 'annoyed face,' the one that was usually followed by a disapproving noise. "But it's all I think about when you're this close. . ."
Damn it. He knew all the right buttons to press even when he could barely stand. "Sasuke, I swear, if you lead me on I will have no mercy for you drunk or no."
"No offense Sakura, but even drunk off my ass I can still take you in a fight."
She was getting pretty honestly angry at this point. Of all the arrogant. . . . "So says the person who was riveted to the women's room floor by the interesting flushing noises from the toilet! You can get your own damn self home, Mr. Uchiha!"
It was even more galling when he managed to catch her arm in such a way that she couldn't pull away, and force her to face him. He was damned quick, and she had to admit to herself it was possible that with the sharingan he could take her in a fight, even while drunk. Today was too much. Too much emotion, too much aggravation, too much Sasuke. And the day had started out so well.
"Sakura, I don't want it to be like this."
"What do you want it to be like then?" She practically yelled in his face.
When he kissed her she thought about biting down on that tongue sneaking its way into her mouth. She thought about breaking away and laughing, or telling him off, or kneeing him in the groin while those maddening eyes of his were closed.
What she did do, to her embarrassment, was groan a little and lean into his body. She was close enough to intimately realize that Sasuke was up and ready to repopulate that clan of his right now.
"Sasuke," She said, mostly mollified and very aroused, but still somewhat angry, "You hold on to that thought for tomorrow when you're not drunk and I don't want to punch you as badly and then we'll see what happens ok?" It was almost a hard decision, but she didn't want something to start with Sasuke and have it end with regrets the very next day.
"I'm being serious. It will only be harder tomorrow when I'm not drunk." Sasuke released her and only swayed a little when she left his personal space entirely. "Next time I should get you drunk too. . ." He grumbled.
As she grabbed his arm to help support his unsteady form it was all she could do to keep from bursting into a smile fit to split her face.
"We'll deal with it when we get there."