Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and am not making any money whatsoever out of this. ok?

WARNING: Itachi OOCness, AU-ish, slight slight slight Uchihacest.

Pairings: SasukeNaruto, ItachiNeji, uchihacest (completely brotherly love, nothing more)

A/N: Well, I know that Itachi's a bad guy and all but I really want to write a story where he and Sasuke were really like very close brothers. O, and some people consider ItachiNeji as a crack pairing but I think they're okay. Most Itachi pairing are with Sakura, Naruto or Sasuke. They're a lot of OCs and Mary-Sues too where Itachi is considered so I wanna write ItachiNeji. There!

Facts of the story: Itachi did not kille the Uchiha clan but he and Sasuke are the only reaming Uchiha's nonetheless. Will explain in further chapters.


In which there will be a birthday party for Sasuke whether he likes it or not...

Seventeen was the official coming of age in Konoha, whether boy or girl. It signified when a family business could be passed down to a son or when a daughter could be open to marriage proposals. However, to Uchiha Sasuke, apparently, it meant nothing.

He was going to turn seventeen two weeks from now. His friends and acquaintances were planning on throwing a huge party, something like a village festival (yes, they adored the Uchiha that much) in celebration of his birthday.

How did Sasuke react to this?

"…" SLAM! He slammed the door in the messenger's face. The messenger reported this to Haruno Sakura and Yamanako Ino, suspecting that maybe Sasuke-san wasn't really keen on having a party. Sakura and Ino, chief planners of the party, waved that off as nonsense and said that Sasuke was just shy. He would love them for doing this for him! Ri-ight.

After receiving the unpleasant news, Sasuke sat down at the breakfast table, looked at his onigiri with calm disinterest, and smashed it with his hand the next moment.

On the other side of the table, Uchiha Itachi's eyebrow twitched. Dare he ask? Dare he? "Sasuke, something wrong?" Wrong question, though, cause there was always something wrong with Sasuke. He was never really a happy boy to begin with.

"A few idiots in the village wants to throw a birthday party for me," replied Sasuke in a monotone, proceeding to clean the rice off his hand. "I'm just irritated that they're doing this without my consent."

I-I can see that. "So, are you going to tell them off?" asked Itachi, sipping his coffee.

"I don't even see how I could get the message through their thick heads. I tried last time at my ninja academy orientation. It didn't work, did it?"

Itachi downed the rest of his coffee. No, it sure didn't. For some reason, whenever his little brother told off his fangirls, he got more fangirls in return. It was an unexplainable phenomenon. Itachi was sort of glad when he found out that his mangenkyo sharingan could be used to decrease his own number of fangirls.

"So," began Itachi, "what are you going to do about this party. It would be rude, even by your standards, not to go since you're the main event. It is your coming of age, after all."

"Whatever," muttered Sasuke with a scowl.

"No. No 'whatever'. You have to get a date," said Itachi.

Date…date…date…date…

The horrendous word echoed like a death sentence in Sasuke's ears. "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

"You're an Uchiha, Sasuke!" said Itachi, standing up and bringing himself to full height. "And as such you must uphold the Uchiha name! Therefore you must bring a date to this party."

Sasuke scowled darkly and looked away from his brother. Although Itachi had not bothered to explain what the Uchiha name had anything to do with Sasuke bringing a date to his birthday party, Sasuke could never go against him when he used the 'uphold the Uchiha name' tactic.

"And I will find a date for myself too," added Itachi as a quick afterthought. "I mean, why let you have all the fun?"

The younger Uchiha wanted to ask his brother what he meant by 'fun' but failed to do so because Itachi promptly put on his jounin jacket and made for the door. "Therefore I will spend the entire of today to search a date for myself."

"What? Why do you need a whole day?" asked Sasuke. "I have the hotline to the Die for Uchiha Itachi fan club."

Itachi barely stifled a shiver that ran up his spine. "Would you ask one of your fangirls to be your date?" Sasuke shook his head without even considering it. "See? I'm off."

"Wait." Sasuke grabbed Itachi by the neck and leaned up to peck his brother on the cheek. With a small smirk, he said, "Have a nice day, Itachi." In reply, Itachi ruffled Sasuke's hair and left.


In which Itachi finds his date…

Itachi chewed leisurely on his dango (a Japanses snack. It's the snack Mitarashi Anko was eating during the Second Phase of the Chuunin Selection Exam) as he watched the people of Konoha go on with their daily routines. Occasionally, one or two of his friends would stop for a chat or warn him of oncoming fangirls. When he spotted fangirls within the vicinity, he would henge (transform) into somebody else and return to his normal form when the fangirls were gone.

"Itachi?"

The Uchiha glanced down at the blonde figure who called him. "Hi Naruto," he greeted, waving his dango stick.

"What are you doing on the roof of Ichiraku Ramen?" asked Naruto innocently.

"I'm looking for a potential person to be my date for Sasuke's birthday party," answered Itachi honestly, if not bluntly.

"Oh," said Naruto. "Anyone yet?" Itachi shook his head. Naruto grinned. "Why don't you just date that teme (bastard)?" asked Naruto cheekily, obviously referring to Sasuke. "He's definitely pretty enough."

At this, Itachi raised both eyebrows in amusement. "Nah, my fangirls and his fangirls would start a war. Hey, you wanna get some ramen?" …since they were at a ramen store and all…

Surprising, Naruto declined the offer. "I just ate," he said, pointing to the mountain of ramen bowls sitting on the counter in Ichiraku. "Neji treated me," he added with a wide smile. "By the way, what's taking him so long?" He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "Oi, Neji! Does it take that long to use the toilet?"

Itachi jumped off the roof and landed in front of the Ichiraku entrance, having finished his dango and planning to go somewhere else to seek out a potential date.

At that moment, Neji strode out of Ichiraku, (looking a little miffed) keeping the change from the bill into his wallet. "Calm down, there was a long queue in front of the toilet," he explained, slightly irritated. "I can't believe you made me treat you. I think you ate up a whole B-rank mission allowance – ah!"

Right at that moment, Neji's hand slipped when trying to push the last coin from the change into his wallet. (Imagine all this in slow motion) The coin fell. Neji bent over to get it. His foot stepped on a spill from a soup of ramen that conveniently happened to be there and he slipped. Yes, Hyuuga Neji slipped.

Neji squeezed his eyes shut. Oh, this was going to be embarrassing. Hyuuga Neji falling flat on his face due to slipping on a soup spill. He was never going to live it down. His family was never going to let him forget it. Waiting for the hard ground to meet him, Neji was quite surprised when he felt firm warmth under him instead.

He had fallen, that was for sure. But what was this that broke his fall. Raising his upper body a bit, he opened his white pearl eyes and was greeted by the sight of Konoha's no.1 ninja groaning under him.

As it turned out, Neji had fallen over Itachi, bringing the Uchiha down with him, or rather under him.

Itachi rubbed the back of his head. He could have evaded that easily but for some reason his body didn't respond. Perhaps he had wanted to save the boy?

Itachi knew the Hyuugas. He knew many good fighters that were from the Hyuugas. But he did not pay much attention to them. So he was not familiar with Hyuuga Neji. All he knew was that this Neji fellow was an acquaintance of Sasuke's. Nothing more.

Yet as he opened his Sharingan stained eyes to glance up at the creature staring back down at him, he wondered briefly if that light fall had been enough to send him to heaven. Because this was surely an angel.

Neji flinched. The Uchiha was moving. Why? He was staring at Neji dazedly. Why? Did that fall cause him some brain damage or something? Shit. The whole village would hold him responsible for hurting Konoha's no.1 ninja. Not to mention, there was the Die for Uchiha Itachi fan club to be worried about. All these thoughts passed through Neji's worried mind in merely one second.

They all diminished when Itachi stirred slightly under him. Neji could barely refrain himself from sighing out in relief. So he's okay. The Uchiha will live. Well all the worrying was pointless then. Neji was about to get off Itachi when he was suddenly pinned by the seductive smile Itachi was sending him.

Neji got chills. Uchiha Itachi…was smiling at him…seductively? There was something very wrong with this picture.

"Hi there, gorgeous," said Itachi.

Alarms rang wildly in Neji's head. 'Danger! Danger! Run immediately! Escape immediately!' Run? Absolutely not!

Itachi brought one of Neji's hands to his lips. "Would you be my date for my cute little brother's birthday party?"

Neji's cheeks flushed red as his eyebrow twitched. 'Care to rephrase?' He swallowed. He should have run. "No."

"Say what?" asked Itachi."

"Sorry, but I refuse," said Neji with all the calm that he could muster. He quickly got off Itachi like a prey jumping away from a predator.

Itachi got up and brushed dust away from his clothes. He looked at Neji intently and sent him that seductive look again. "I'm sorry too. I don't accept no as an answer…Neji." The poor Hyuuga felt chills running up his spine again.

After what seemed like an eternity to Neji, Itachi finally looked away and acknowledged Naruto with a small smile. "I think I'll be returning home now, Naruto. I've already found my date."

"I told you I refuse!" said Neji loudly and angrily but the Uchiha had already disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Neji slowly turned to Naruto and gave him a look that said, 'This was all your fault.'

Naruto laughed nervously and guiltily. "Well, you already said no, right?"

"You know him better than me," said Neji. "Do you think he's the type that will haunt me until I agree to go?"

Hesitantly Naruto nodded honestly. A black cloud hanging over his head, Neji headed for home without saying goodbye. Naruto sighed. "Poor guy. At least I don't have a creepy Uchiha trying to get me to be his date," he added cheerfully.

How wrong. How terribly wrong Naruto was.


Sasuke had just returned from his private training when he noticed Itachi reading the newspaper in the dining room. "Oi, back so soon? Don't tell me you've given up," he said with a smirk.

"Of course not," replied Itachi. "I've already found my date. I just have to get him to agree to be my date. That's all. A small problem." He turned a page of the newspaper.

Sasuke shook his head with disbelief. "So it's a guy? I pity him for being your target. Who is it?"

"Neji from the Hyuuga," said Itachi, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips. He contained the urge to lick his lips at the remembrance of lying under the Hyuuga boy. Ah, what a beautiful first meeting.

"Neji?" asked Sasuke, doubt creeping into his voice. "Don't hurt yourself trying to get him. He's almost as good as a jounin."

"And I'm better than all the jounins," retorted Itachi indifferently. "Besides that, I found someone who could be your potential date too."

"Oh?" Sasuke sounded a little interested despite himself. Someone Itachi picked must be someone he did not think off. "Who?"

Itachi put down his newspapers, a cheeky smile directed at Sasuke. "Did you know Naruto thinks you're pretty?"


A/N: I know the rating is 'M' but nothing's happened. Don't worry. Something will happen soon. Well, actually that depends on whether the reviews say that people still wanna read this or not. If not, than I'll just take it off and start a new project. But I would really like reviews - not flames - reviews.