Disclaimer: I don't own Crossing Jordan or any of the characters. This is purely for entertainment and for releasing my frustration as a Jordan/Woody shipper.

A/N: This is something that has been floating around my mind for a few days now. After watching Woody botch up his potential relationship with Jordan YET AGAIN, I wonder how much more she will take before she gives up on them as a couple for good. I know Jordan and Woody are meant to be together…. I'm just tired of everything that keeps them apart.

The Way it's Always Been

I saw them immediately. I had just stepped into the restaurant to grab my usual Chinese take out when I spotted his familiar figure sitting in the booth. He was smiling at the petite blonde across from him as she fumbled with her chopsticks.

I deftly moved behind the large green plant to obscure their view of me, but I continued to watch them. I felt my chest tighten as he grabbed her hands and properly placed the chopsticks within them. My observations were interrupted as the owner approached the register with my fried rice and egg rolls, but not before I saw her raise her chopsticks to his lips with a piece of food on the end.

So Woody and Lu. I should have known. There had been rumors around the station but I had ignored them, wishing they had no foundation. Now I know better. I quickly paid for my dinner and tried to head out the door without being seen. It was humiliating enough without having Woody awkwardly explain what he and Lu were doing here at 8pm on a Saturday night.

I climbed in my car, but did not start the engine. From where I was parked on the street I could still make out their positions through the restaurant window. As they happily chatted, I sat disappointed and alone.

I had thought things were going well between us, that was, until the night at the inn. After one blissfully filled night, my world had slowly started to crumble. Things with Pollack had fallen apart, although I can say I was not surprised. I knew that it was a long time coming, but the comfort of someone being there for me had been too good to pass up.

For years I had been alone. I had learned not to depend on others from almost everyone in my life, family or friends. After feeling hurt and disappointed so many times I swore to never feel that way again by depending only on myself. I pushed others away and became somewhat cruel in any kind of romantic relationship. The façade that Woody had seen through had kept me happy. Yet every time I started to let go of it, he broke my heart.

I'd convinced myself to give him a real chance, and he went after Devon. It took me a long time to trust him with my heart again, but I did. As soon as I said the words he threw me out of his hospital room. Pity, he said. But the thing that hurt the most was his accusation of making him a 'rebound guy'. I had respected his space and he had once again scoffed at my feelings. Apparently I was not good enough, but he was quick to find someone that was.

My sadness had slowly ebbed away, and anger now replaced it. How dare he believe I'm good enough to sleep with, but not good enough for a true relationship. How many times had he accused me of having commitment issues, yet he's always the one running away when things get serious.

I jammed my keys into the ignition and start the car. I threw one more angry glance in their direction before pulling out onto the street. I forbid the tears welled in my eyes to fall. I will not let myself be hurt by him again. The façade that had once kept me happy was falling back into place. I would once again be the Jordan Cavanaugh who was carefree and dismissive of ideas that included a serious relationship.

I would be safe once more.

I would be alone, the way it's always been.